RL Anger
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Also, mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise are not disgusting. Miracle Whip (and its English kissing cousin "salad creme") is.
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I dislike mayo except when I use it specifically on chicken sandwiches (in small amounts, very small amounts) or as a cheese thickener on other sandwiches.
My real beef is with bacon. I am so, so, so sick of people putting it on everything. I only eat bacon as part of a breakfast with eggs and hash browns and even then I'd prefer a nice breakfast sausage.
All you Gaffigan fans and hipsters can burn in hell.
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Hey, bacon is a valid choice of add-on to many foods. I'm not saying go crazy and make giant balls of bacon or the Leaning Tower of Bacon. But my family has a number of recipes that call for bacon to add flavor and crunch. What a comedian says during a routine or some idiot on the net says right before they have a heart attack is NOT the end-all, be-all of bacon.
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@Admiral said:
My real beef is with bacon. I am so, so, so sick of people putting it on everything.
Bacon is a stupid man's flavor additive. There are plenty of better, tastier, cheaper substitutes.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@HelloRaptor said:
That's like saying a car is not a substitute for a truck (because despite both being vehicles you can't cart a piano around in a car) any more than a bicycle is not a substitute for a fighter jet (because despite both being conveyances you can't fire missiles from a bicycle). Other than being condiments, mustard and ketchup are completely different beasts, but miracle whip was created specifically as a cheaper alternative to mayonnaise and made using the same key ingredients as mayonnaise, just in different amounts. In particular, the only reason miracle whip wasn't labeled as a type of mayonnaise is because it doesn't meet a minimum vegetable oil content required for labeling purposes.
Sure, they're 'different', but in the way that two very similar but not identical things are 'different'. That is not even remotely the way ketchup and mustard are 'different'.
Now you're just comparing apples and oranges.
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@Ganymede said:
Bacon is a stupid man's flavor additive. There are plenty of better, tastier, cheaper substitutes.
You. Off my planet. Now.
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@Miss-Demeanor Mmmm. Leaning tower of Bacon...
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Bacon can be good in a sandwich.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Misadventure Many Many Moons ago, when I worked Security at a high end gated community/country club. We used to have the keys to the kitchen. Which meant often we'd be left goodies in the fridge. Bacon was one of these things they tended to make a lot of but went through randomly.
Enter Templari's bacon sammich. Now remember, I was young, and at this point doing the constantly working out thing for work and other things. I make my sammich and the Supervisor and I go on up to check out a little TV before final lockup, and I bite into my sammich. CRUNCH It just echoes in the room.
"Jesus, how much lettuce is in that thing?" So I answered with a full mouth all confused. "lettuce?" Yeah so my sammich was bulky roll. Mayo. About pound of cooked bacon, not like a cooked pound of bacon. But already cooked bacon totaling a pound. A slice of lettuce. One sliver of tomato. More mayo. bulky roll.
He stared, demanded a bite as tribute, and told me my heart is going to explode in a year. I won!
Anyways. Bacon.
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@HelloRaptor said:
Sure, they're 'different', but in the way that two very similar but not identical things are 'different'.
Glad you agree with me. Except:
That is not even remotely the way ketchup and mustard are 'different'.
They taste completely different which makes them different, exactly as ketchup and mustard are different. Exactly as water and hydrogen peroxide are different. Exactly as spaghetti and pie crust are different. Two things can be made of exactly the same ingredients but be completely different from each other.
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@Templari said:
@Ganymede said:
Bacon is a stupid man's flavor additive. There are plenty of better, tastier, cheaper substitutes.
You. Off my planet. Now.
I did not say I didn't like bacon. I love bacon.
I'm saying that only stupid people use it as a flavor additive. Because, frankly, there are better, cheaper, tastier choices out there. There's nothing bacon adds to a dish that salt and lard couldn't accomplish.
For instance, in an omelet, I prefer chorizo over bacon. Around here, chorizo is a fair bit cheaper.
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Salt and lard and chorizo... None have a satisfying crunch or that delicious smoky aftertaste that bacon has. Also chorizo is usually spicy. Why not just add spices to create the same flavour? Because you like chorizo, that's why. Like others like bacon for flavouring. The only thing stupid is you telling people they're stupid for liking a certain flavour in their food. WTF, you're smarter than this senseless argument.
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Red chorizo is spicy, though I'll grant spicy chorizo might be the more usual/popular one up in the States/Canada. Down here, chorizo isn't spicy at all, unless it's chorizo colorado, i.e. red chorizo, which depending on its provenance and preparation can be mildly hot to fuckfuckfuckfuckmytongueisfallingofffffffff.
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@VulgarKitten
Telling people they are stupid is the whole point to these otherwise pointless forums. If I don't suddenly become possessed of some horrible, vicious invective, I'll lose my cred card.
I'm biased. That crunchy satisfaction has resulted in gum pockets. They hurt.
I'm with @Admiral. I'm sick of people putting bacon on everything. Try something else. Otherwise, you're offending what I have of hipster sensibilities, you imagination-less fuck.
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I love bacon as much as the next person, but I don't want it in my fucking cookies.
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@Roz said:
I love bacon as much as the next person, but I don't want it in my fucking cookies.
I concur. If you want some extra crunch in there, go use cricket flour, and don't skimp on the crickets.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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One thing bacon can do that by definition nothing else can, i my may favorite summer lunch, a nice BLT.
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I'm new to the joy of bacon, having been a vegetarian most of my life. Just because other stuff is awesome, doesn't mean bacon can't be equally as fucking awesome. It is. It's amazing. Maybe not in cookies (but even then I'd be willing to try it), but in tons of things. Damn hipsters. Stop ruining shiny shit.
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@VulgarKitten
I'm new to the joy of bacon, having been a vegetarian most of my life.
Congratulations on overcoming your affliction/delusion/cult/whatever.
