RL Anger
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@thenomain said in RL Anger:
Alright, fun's fun, but can we please take this to the Politics thread?
Everyone knows the personal is political, but for those without privilege, the political frequently becomes personal. There's a valid reason for anger.
Oh completely. There is legitimate concern that this is a return to the alleyway abortion clinic, and another step of turning the Office of the President into a dictator position.
I said this about the tax reform, and I’ll say that about this: We will see what happens in five years.
This doesn’t mean stop fighting. This does not wait and see. I don’t think we will know the true outcome for a while. Be angry.
I requested the move because the Political Club was having Political Discussion, and I was thinking that people were getting tired of being trolled by @Tyche. People who are upset are easier to troll, and it’s a complete jackass move to take advantage of it, but...well...yeah.
(My apologies to well meaning Republicans and/or Conservatives on this board. I’m not talking about you.)
So the Politics nerds can nerd out, and maybe we could get back to what this board is for. Venting.
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So I've decided I'm calling the college on Monday, and ask for the best email for these screenshots. I'm mildly terrified, and will possibly be freaking out on Monday and need to vent. I know this is anger, but I just wanted to say thanks for the people encouraging me to do what needs to be done.
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Are there other topics, besides economics or constitutional law, that you want to invoke argumentum ad verecundiam on?
On those two topics, I'm more than capable of smashing any argument you may have.
On others, I can just use logic, reason, and empathy to demonstrate your absence of authority.
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Dear boss,
If the client buys your team pizza, don't fucking put it out in a public area so the rest of the building can eat most of it.
No love,
your team that got barely any of the pizza that was meant for them. -
I'm sad that preschool is so academic and kindergarten is more so. And I'm worried for my very happy, kinetic kid.
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I'm sad that preschool is so academic and kindergarten is more so. And I'm worried for my very happy, kinetic kid.
I really don't understand how they expect/demand kids to sit still and just do such focused learning these days from such a young age.
I'm in my 30s and I can't focus for shit some days!
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My youngest's preschool teacher sent me a pretty nasty email last week, disclosing that she had "made" him sit and work on a cutting project (he is currently getting OT for fine motor strength, specifically things like scissors that require pressure as well as finesse, and pencil grip issues), and then she was very disappointed that he "whined" when he was allowed to get up from that project only to be forced to do another one.
I really loved this school when my older kids went there 12 years ago. My kids all are quirky kids. And I have has one of my older boys be a very kinetic kid so I get it.
But honestly I think my trust has been irrevocably broken at this point with this school. And that teacher. They can give me nothing positive to say about my child.
Even doing therapeutic foster care with some extremely challenging kids, even working corrections, I could always come up with at least ONE positive things to say in addition to the laundry list of problems.
He seems to like going, which is the only reason he didn't get pulled that day. But I think its likely I will pull him by t-giving or December break, and I am currently rearranging my life and current wants/goals so I can be available to homeschool kindergarten next year if necessary. Waiting on getting the actual school district to do an evaluation and observation at the preschool too. Just so I know what the reality is. Every evaluator we have taken him to through his insurance gives us a weird look and asks us why we are there being evaluated because he is normal (except for the fine motor muscle issues) if very high energy kid.
I'm just really sad. It is selfishly very hard to contemplate trashing my work desires/hopes again. The nice thing 12 years ago is that the kids had a little more time to set settled before being expected to do desk work/learning through circle time instruction. But at least I do have the resources to try and give my kid a foundation where they dont end up hating school and have their teacher hate them in preschool or kindy.
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But honestly I think my trust has been irrevocably broken at this point with this school. And that teacher. They can give me nothing positive to say about my child.
This summer, at the end of preschool, my daughter's teacher concluded that she was on the autistic spectrum, and recommended that she go to see a developmental pediatrician. This was supported by the preschool's psychologist. I live in a fairly affluent suburb.
We got a referral to a development pediatrician who found that, while my daughter has a speech delay, she was far ahead of other markers in things like growth and cognition. We took her to a speech therapist who concurred that my daughter needed some assistance with understanding social cues, but that she was bright, lively, intelligent, and a very quick learner.
I have never sat down with my daughter to write or draw. One day, three months after preschool ended and at a family dinner at a local restaurant, she draws a rose and then writes, in perfect block letters: "THE ROSE IS RED AND GREEN." And that little girl won't shut the hell up sometimes, I swear, but she can quite capably read things she's never seen before, like the subtitles in the movie "Alpha."
Fuck preschool teachers sometimes.
From all indicators -- granted, I have but a B.A. in psychology -- she appears to have hyperlexia. She remains in the 90th percentile for height and weight. She makes friends with all of the "special" children in her preschool class now (we decided to keep her in preschool for an extra year because we could, and it's probably better for her). And my parents, who care for her often, can confirm with certainty that she's a lot smarter, nicer, sweeter, and more talented than I was when I was her age.
Fuck you too, Mom and Dad.
Anyhow, my point is this: don't be discouraged by bad teachers. Your boy is having fun? I say, let him have fun. He'll learn as he will, when he will. Teachers, unfortunately, can only evaluate based on the tests they do on the day they do them, so if your kid is smart enough to have his own mind, he'll probably test poorly and you'll get an earful.
Far be it for me to point out that shitty teachers often get shitty results from great kids.
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Yep, I actually do not think that he's behind at all developmentally (My bachelors is in Family and Child Development, plus that whole experienced parent thing). I am glad we qualify for state insurance for the kids though, because otherwise those assessments (which are not covered by insurance) would have cost us in the $800-1200 range for us to be told by every single evaluator but the OT "why the fuck are you here".
I am worried that this year will go much like last year, when by the end of the year he was showing stress behaviors (like thumb sucking/shirt chewing) that he does not do at home (or didn't until last year at school) that totally disappeared this summer.
To some degree I have empathy for the preschools, because the state mandates for Kindergarten are pretty crazy from when my high schoolers were young. Now they expect all children to be writing their names and reading by the end of Kindy, and it's a full day for everyone. That's an incredible leap for the "average" expectation. I think my guy would easily meet standard even now, but I am worried about the sitting still expectations, as well as discipline issues where playground time is taken away.
I guess I'll have to wait until I can tour the kindergarten class to see how the teacher at our local school (it's pretty small, there's usually only 1 kindergarten class for the neighborhood kids). and withhold judgement until then.
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@mietze - what @Ganymede said.
On the personal side of things, I nearly failed 1st grade mainly because I have little tolerance for busy work (a trait I keep to this day). They tested my IQ and I did well.
On the professional side of things, there's a lot going on in Education right now. A lot of it is good research that is being twisted as it makes its way down to the classroom level. Even teachers who are aware of how things are being twisted, can only do so much since they're at the pressure of the administration and such. All this to say, this is a momentary blip and things will go back to how they used to be, but probably not for another 5-10 years or so.
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I guess I'll have to wait until I can tour the kindergarten class to see how the teacher at our local school (it's pretty small, there's usually only 1 kindergarten class for the neighborhood kids). and withhold judgement until then.
I don't want to seem like I'm backseat parenting, but you could try looking into church-run preschools. They seem to have less kids and more empathy. When my daughter was in the public preschool, she had that teacher problem (this year she has a different teacher, and they seem to get along smashingly). But she always liked her aftercare/daycare program, which was run by a church.
Then again, I live in an affluent suburb in Ohio, so YMMV.
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This leads somewhat to my RL peeve of the day/week/month/year/eternity. And does not reflect upon anyone in this conversation, I'm just prompted by it.
"X, Y, Z needs to be taught in schools!"
Chances are... no it doesn't. It needs to be taught by parents.
Parents and teachers are a team that should, hopefully, print out a functional and stable human being at the end of the process. We're not simply a factory for turning children into gentlepersons with eloquence and good regard for their neighbour.
We teach, you raise. Simples.
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eloquence
I'd argue that teachers are kind of responsible for eloquence. Math, science, social studies, reading, and writing. That's what I expect from my school system.
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It's definitely a YMMV thing. We went through similar issues with our son at our shul-run preschool that both you and @mietze have experienced in public preschool. We would watch our son be sweet and socially ept and navigating the different groups of kids at our local park, but then get told how horribly unsocialized he was by his preschool teachers, who insisted we go and have him evaluated at the Erikson Institute (like, insisted so hard that it was like they were getting a cut of the fees from them or something). Why was he so unsocialized, according to them? He played by himself and 'allowed himself' to be bullied by a group of boys (who, not so coincidentally were all the children of members of the shul (synagogue) - we were not). How was he 'allowing himself' to be bullied? He stopped and counted to ten before returning the aggro those kids were dealing. Yes, his cooldown technique was 'a delay'. Why they didn't, I don't know, punish the bullying kids is beyond me.
Suffice to say, we were baffled by their assessment (they also basically danced around calling him out as being on the spectrum, because, of course, if they opined as such they could open themselves up to lawsuits as they aren't psychologists or truly qualified to assess as such), but we went ahead and spent thousands of dollars to have him assessed by Erikson. Guess what their final conclusion was?
'He's perfectly socialized, if maybe a little neurotic.' Yes, they were also dumbfounded as to why the preschool pushed for the assessment. Yes, there are some definite core strength and fine motor skills issues that they caught, and we are putting him through OT for, but the psychological side was completely unnecessary.
Whenever we take the bus past the shul his preschool was at, my son scowls out the window and talks about how terrible it was; how there were so many bullies and the teachers played favorites.
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@zombiegenesis Yes. But take the sentence as a whole, not fragmented.
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To be clear, my kiddo is in a private preschool (That is supposed to be play based) in a church building. But I am very worried about public school kindergarten, which in our area is highly academic and full day for everyone (when my bigs were little, it was half day, you had to pay for full day). I mean I support full day for everyone because at the very least I want every single kid who can to get breakfast and lunch 5 days a week, and it helps a lot of families, and does have some good effects too, especially if you have a lot of parent volunteers in the class so that one teacher isn't having to deal with 25 kindergarteners with a huge spectrum of school readiness all by themselves all day. So I'm not anti-kindy.
But I really don't think my kid is going to be ready at 5 for what seems to be the current non-academic expectations. I guess we will see though, the nice/frustrating thing about little kids is that things can change dramatically as far as tolerance/readiness in a year. Or even six months.
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I'm angry at myself. My body, my stupid fucking body and it's dumb auto immunes that have me sitting here, feeling completely incapable of getting up and going to work like a grown up. It's already obvious it's going to be a high pain day, and with the contacting of HR yesterday for the douchebag screenshots (I'm waiting on a return call) I know my anxiety is going to be high and that shit never helps. My one doctor made it clear to my job in the accomodation paperwork that I would likely miss one day a month... but HR is dragging their feet over that paperwork suddenly, and haven't even 'discussed it' with my supervisor, so I don't dare use it. I'm just.. I need a day. I need to rest. And i can't. And it makes me angry, and still just want to cry.
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Is redshirting not an option?
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@zombiegenesis said in RL Anger:
I'd argue that teachers are kind of responsible for eloquence. Math, science, social studies, reading, and writing. That's what I expect from my school system.
I can't argue against expectations, and I presume that you aren't leaving everything to the school system, but I stand by Tinuviel's statement:
Parents and teachers are a team that should, hopefully, print out a functional and stable human being at the end of the process. We're not simply a factory for turning children into gentlepersons with eloquence and good regard for their neighbour.
In American analogy, parents are the defense and teachers are the offense in football. One is known for winning championships, but the other is important. Being adept at math, science, social studies, reading, and writing makes you neither eloquent nor moral. If a child's home life is a warzone, it won't matter what a teacher does in the classroom.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
