Sep 20, 2016, 2:55 PM
Another tip: Criticising other people's poses in OOC isn't a good way to win friends and influence people.
The 100: The Mush
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@surreality He was more subtle than that. I don't think I rated that kind of explanation. He's really whiny when scenes aren't about how great he is, though.
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Random Guy: I didn't like 'The 100' for these reasonable reasons.
Fanboy: YOU ARE A CREEPER!
Feels like WORA.
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Can you give legit reasons for not liking something and still be a creeper?
Why not both?
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Actually, he was a big part of what made an otherwise fun environment go seriously sour. He had a habit of shredding apart anything that other people enjoyed, beyond the point of just not liking it to insulting it (it's okay to not like things, BUT DON'T BE A DICK ABOUT IT), used to passive-aggressively snark at players and staff on channel, and was, imo, generally unpleasant to be around. I only rp'd with him when I had to, and when I realized he was making me reactionary and falling into bad behavioral habits, did my best to keep my contact to a minimum.
"If you stand for nothing Burr, what will you fall for?"
-- Hamilton: An American Musical -
@Cupcake said in The 100: The Mush:
Actually, he was a big part of what made an otherwise fun environment go seriously sour. He had a habit of shredding apart anything that other people enjoyed, beyond the point of just not liking it to insulting it (it's okay to not like things, BUT DON'T BE A DICK ABOUT IT), used to passive-aggressively snark at players and staff on channel, and was, imo, generally unpleasant to be around. I only rp'd with him when I had to, and when I realized he was making me reactionary and falling into bad behavioral habits, did my best to keep my contact to a minimum.
He wasn't the only one, in fairness. Just probably the only one I felt comfortable naming at the time because he didn't have any prior connections (that I know about), so I knew everyone would agree with me. It was easy, any time someone brought up shitty players, to go, 'Like Jumar?' To which unanimously people I spoke to would say, 'Yeah, Jumar.'
He didn't actually creep on me personally, mind, though I fully believe @tek that he did. He was just frequently obnoxious in my general vicinity, of the bang-my-head-against-the-wall but not the I-need-an-adult variety.
ETA: Really I'm just commenting because as much as I felt annoyed by this player, I don't think it's fair to make him a sole scapegoat.
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Not to jump on the bandwagon, except that I suppose I am, but when I read the post here my first reaction was along the lines of 'That's a novel interpretation of events.' And then when he said who he played it all made sense.
I tended to stay off channel and avoided a lot of OOC crap so I'll just add that there was a lot of negativity expressed by him ICly (which is fine except it can get as annoying as Pollyannas when that's really all there is) and OOCly that made me stay away. Honestly, consider it constructive criticism and stop doing that.
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I mostly just observed it to be a huge feedback loop.
Provoke PCs icly.
Provoked PCs react with understandable dislike for being goaded.
Blame PCs for reacting in reasonable ways to being provoked.
Antagonize PC players OOCly for not doing it his way.
Rinse.
Repeat.It's not that hard to figure out.
If you keep getting into the same conflicts with the same people over the same things: you are the problem.And this is just Life 101 but has amazing game applications where Groundhog Day Failures to Get Along exist.
But you need self-awareness to have the clarity to see and stop it from happening again and for all the IC and OOC pushback I saw pitched his way, he was never the problem.
So.
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Jumar was ICly unreasonable about his issues. OOC I was aware he was provocative and angry about his opinions on Grounders, and would be a bit grating to those whom prodded him about 'getting over it', instead of being understanding. The only PC whom was really bad in interacting with him was Cole, because the two had very different opinions on Grounders. This had nothing to do with me being a 'shitty player' or not, this is people thinking that the character was shitty..
@tek said in The 100: The Mush:
the first time i interacted with him, he started telling me about his kinks in ooc, apropos of nothing, then started posing in second person like he assumed we were gonna get our TS on. i've never left a scene so fast.
This scene was simply a bit of crossed wires from context.I had absolutely no intention of doing TS with our two PCs, ever.
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@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
@tek said in The 100: The Mush:
the first time i interacted with him, he started telling me about his kinks in ooc, apropos of nothing, then started posing in second person like he assumed we were gonna get our TS on. i've never left a scene so fast.
This scene was simply a bit of crossed wires from context.I had absolutely no intention of doing TS with our two PCs, ever.
Bluntly: if you're talking about your OOC sexual preferences without invitation, that isn't a case of crossed wires. Or if so, you need to consider how you're wired.
You're being told that something occurred that was unwelcome.
You should listen, and you should probably learn a thing from it.
Dismissing it and trying to hand-wave it away into nothingness by doing so is not making you smell like a rose garden, no matter how much you may want that to occur. This is the kind of shady bullshit for which there's not a hell of a lot of tolerance in these parts, these days.
Hint: If you actually had a genuine concern about a miscommunication occurring, you'd try to clear up that miscommunication rather than dismissing it out of a desire for it to simply go away.
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I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention.
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@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention.
Better, but dude... you're still not getting it.
It's not my fault she was offended when I said she had a fine ass I'd love to plow, I meant it as a compliment! isn't really an apology.
Hopefully this random example pulled out of my own ass will make the reason why somewhat more clear.Apologizing for what you're still presenting as someone else's error isn't apologizing at all -- it's more deflection and strongly suggests a refusal to examine your own behavior, let alone accept responsibility for the consequences of it.
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My character: just lost her parents, distraught
His character: "If you want to talk, I'll be in my room"
Me: goes to find him in his room for a scene. scene starts.
Him: "Btw, I'm into Dom/sub relationships." switches to second-person text
His character: starts getting handsyYeah. Not sure how else this could have been interpreted, dude.
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@tek said in The 100: The Mush:
My character: just lost her parents, distraught
His character: "If you want to talk, I'll be in my room"
Me: goes to find him in his room for a scene. scene starts.
Him: "Btw, I'm into Dom/sub relationships." switches to second-person text
His character: starts getting handsyYeah. Not sure how else this could have been interpreted, dude.
Thats like a sneaky version of the VANDERSEXXX scene from Eurotrip.
Classy.
You know what the fifth stage of grief is?!?!?
Uncle ClownSex's Magical Leather Basement
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
Jumar was ICly unreasonable about his issues. OOC I was aware he was provocative and angry about his opinions on Grounders, and would be a bit grating to those whom prodded him about 'getting over it', instead of being understanding. The only PC whom was really bad in interacting with him was Cole, because the two had very different opinions on Grounders. This had nothing to do with me being a 'shitty player' or not, this is people thinking that the character was shitty..
Jumar was frustrating and antagonistic as a character and that's okay. He was meant to be, and the sad part is, if you had been decent to be around OOC, I for my part would have happily RP'd with you more in that tone of dealing with an antagonistic personality. But your behavior OOC is what drove me (and a lot of others, I think) away from you, and I don't think it's a matter of you missing social cues and not understanding why it was happening - you just don't give a shit.
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Another tip: Criticising other people's poses in OOC isn't a good way to win friends and influence people.
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@tek said in The 100: The Mush:
My character: just lost her parents, distraught
His character: "If you want to talk, I'll be in my room"
Me: goes to find him in his room for a scene. scene starts.
Him: "Btw, I'm into Dom/sub relationships." switches to second-person text
His character: starts getting handsyYeah. Not sure how else this could have been interpreted, dude.
If someone asked me, "Hey what's the RP equivalent on a MU of sending an unsolicited dick pic to someone you just met?", now I have a really good example. If I was ever put in the situation of trying to explain why all that is fucked up, I really wouldn't bother- what's the point? Just wish them well in their future endeavors and move on. I mean normally I'd shake hands too, but in this case it seems a really, really bad idea.
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For my part, I never witnessed any creepiness from Jumar, but I'm a dude so am not the target audience.
What I did see is that his OOC attitude was exhaustingly negative. I don't have any problem with the fact that ICly, Jumar was antagonistic towards the peace movement some characters were pushing IC. I have no problem with ICly, Jumar held a grudge and thought the Grounders were nothing but mindless savage lunatics without a perspective or POV of their own. That's IC.
But dear lord could he not keep it IC. The amount of time he spent expousing this belief on channels, both argumentatively and passive aggressively, was almost physically painful. More then once I just gagged channels when he entered what was otherwise an interesting discussion (note: discussion complete with differing POVs, not everyone falling over eachother to agree) because of his OOC negativity and ranting.
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I played Martin and Roose. I really enjoyed the place when the focus was on survival and exploration. I even STed for the first time ever. However, the pace of the plot and the quick shift to interclan politics and war killed my interest. I was and still am playing on Arx for my politics and war needs and didn't need another.
I never got a bad vibe from Orion or Andi, but maybe I wasn't there long enough for that.
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Making statements that you think recast your own statements, or sound snide is not passive-aggressive. Anything done to your face is by definition not passive.
I have a waggish sense of humor.