Posts made by AeriaNyx

Doom Patrol and the Beard Hunter. That shit was insanity. Amazing, dry-heave inducing insanity. And when I wasn't shutting my eyes and trying not to hurl, I loved it.

@Arkandel Yeeeeeeeeeeeees. Holy crap. I was all o.O but the premise of that comic is so damn good. Garth Ennis comes up with the most twisted stuff. But I really like Preacher and The Boys looks like it's going to be super fun. That Karl Urban tho! Wooot!

@surreality
My husband and I are totally watching Doom Patrol. It is... the far superior version of Legends of Tomorrow in terms of general WTF goofiness. But unlike Legends I don't typically want to claw my brains out. I don't know what made them decide to make all of the characters either one-dimensional or stupid (Often both. Nate. UGH. Nate can FOAD already, and I despise his "bromance" with Ray ((Who lost at least 100 IQ points between Arrow and LoT)).) Plus it has Alan Tudyk. That's an automatic +20 points.

Actually, I think goofiness is the wrong word. It's actually, well. Surreal.

Edited because I apparently think arrow is spelled like Aaron.

@Coin I can see that, yeah. It took me years to make it through American Pie because my empathy for the humiliation was so acute. I think it was awkward, but it was also sad and sweet at the same time. The writers/directors do a really good job, in my opinion of easing those difficult feelings with the B plot silliness without treading too far into overt bathos, a la Guardians of the Galaxy 2 or Ragnarok.

I'm grooving so freaking hard on The Orville, Star Trek Discovery and Brooklyn 99. How three shows could be so freaking different and yet simultaneously make me squeal "WHY IS THIS SO GOOD!?" at the screen and mourn when each episode is over, is strange and delightful.

Discovery is just freaking gorgeous. So. Pretty. And I love me some of those characters. Spock is so different and yet so good as portrayed by Ethan Peck. Anson Mount's Pike is just... perfect. He's the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of Kirk and Picard. Michael is so complicated, but her heart shines through so strongly. Saru and Tilly and fuck.. all of them. So many feels.

And speaking of feels... Who the fuck would have thought a Seth freaking McFarland Star Trek ripoff would make your heart ache in new and different ways while making you laugh at the dumbest stuff like Cliven eating a cigarette with the most amazing look on his face. "I wanted to see what it tasted like." Even the characters I didn't think I'd really ever relate to, like Gordon, get their moments to shine and become beloved.

As for the 99... it's just comedic genius. I can't stop laughing at it and it still makes me go 'awwww' in that great way. Rosa's relationship with Jocelyn, and the whole Captain Holt of it all... just. Melty. Love it.

ETA:

I play both men and women, and they all tend to be on the straight or straighter side of the spectrum. OOCly I've been attracted to both men and women my whole life (My first crush was on the Sorceress from He-Man... and don't even get me started on Cheetara.)

I've learned that I am really bad at sensing flirtation, unless it is painfully obvious. To the point where I can only think of one person who ever hit on Reigna. Like at all. And that person was someone who flirted with anyone with boobs.

I had a co-woker once tell me I wouldn't understand something because it was a girl-thing. She was trying to tease me, but that dig destroyed me. For like.. years. I've never really felt pretty in my life, I don't really get make up, I've got tattoos and I used to have a ton of piercings.

That one comment though, triggered all these feelings about my inadequacy as a woman. I've always felt alienated by my shape and never really felt confidence about myself or my attractiveness (Gogo chubby teen goth in SoCal!) and all that angst came to this head and I just... I felt inhuman for a really long time.

My female characters tend to not ever really be hit on. Granted most of them come into the game with an SO or with a potential one earmarked so they don't tend to really come across as available. But MAN. My male characters get hit on like whoa, usually from both men and women. I've noticed that people tend to act more entitled toward my female characters, like they'll wheedle and try to get me to do things for them, write their descs, build things, run things for them, whereas my male characters are often not pestered in those ways. Until I inevitably open the door by being who I am. But it definitely takes longer on my male characters before I start feeling the pressure.

@auspice I was thinking Cee Lo Green, but that was based on a (admittedly dim) memory of his voice.

@templari I'm prettttty sure one of the Keaton characters has a mother named Sallah.

ETA: Amari. Amari's mother was Sallah Keaton, nee Crovane.

I was always partial to Dragonsdawn, and the story of Sallah Telgar always got to me. I really enjoyed almost all of those books, really. I think they made a profound impression on me from a very young age. I don't remember when it was I started reading them. But I think it was around eleven or twelve.

@arkandel I cannot overstate how much like Star Trek this is. Like, it's like Star Trek, but with real people, rather than idealized versions of people. I am continually amazed at how good the episodes are and how they can make a show about coming to terms with stuff through absurd things. Like.. the whole thing with Bortus' kid being born female in an all male species, the forced gender transition to male and how by watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer dude learned a valuable lesson -- like it SOUNDS ridiculous but it was so smart and heartfelt in execution. And how that thread was carried over into the last episode about porn addiction -- again, a ridiculous thing, but it is treated with such respect and understanding. I dunno. I can't say enough good stuff about it.

@auspice It always feels so melodramatic to think of or call something I am dealing with 'suffering'. Like, real suffering is a tragedy. I've got a serious case of the weepies-slash-can't-sleepies. But I will definitely call him. Because the not being able to sleep is really not making the anxiety any better.

I super appreciate the advice and the sharing. It really helped me get over the worst part of the day.

@auspice Yeah, that was my experience with trazadone too. Okay, well, I'll talk to my doc about trying something else. Because I'm just... yeah. Brain weasels.

@ganymede @Auspice I'm on Welbutrin at the moment, but it's giving me insomnia. One of my docs said if the insomnia persists and becomes untenable that he'd add trazadone to the mix. I was on that before, and stopped taking it because it made me very sluggish/sleepy. I really dislike medication in general, I've had to get over it because this shit is just not livable without it at this point. It would be really nice to find the balance where I'm functional and better able to deal. Cuz where I am at right now.. just doesn't feel ok.

@auspice Oh yeah. I'm on meds. But it still gets overwhelming. I'm in a GAD class/group therapy thing too. I'm just bracing for something that is setting me off really hard and it's just bleeding everywhere. The meds I'm on work sometimes, but they also give me jaw/muscle clenching and insomnia. So. Yeah.

I am so so annoyed with my brain right now. I hate that logically I can point to a situation and say, 'this is the truth' and yet there is this stupid, evil voice in my head that whispers that so and so hates me. That I'm pissing everyone off, that people are annoyed and irritated by me. That everything is bad and wrong, and despite being able to SEE the logic right there in front of me, knowing that it isn't true, I FEEL like it is, and that stupid emotion is so overwhelming I sit at my desk at work and start crying because of NOTHING. And then I feel like an idiot for letting my emotions overwhelm me and my logic. Because that's what I need to sit in -- guilt and shame on top of the fear and anxiety. Why do emotions have to be so much stronger than logic?

And then as I'm crying over nothing other than feeling like an idiot, of course the nicest of my cowokers comes into to my office to ask me a routine question and I'm sitting there with tears on my face like an idiot.

I would like a new brain, please. This one is busted and I don't like it anymore.

Thank you guys. Seriously, thank you so much. This is all really super helpful. Seeing it in writing really helps me absorb stuff, and as much as it sucks that some of you clearly have the same sort of anxiety I do, it's also something of a relief to know I'm not the only one dancing and trying not to trip over myself at the same time.

I am STILL full of squee over the run I got to participate in. It. Was. AWESOME. I rarely have a chance to feel really useful as Rei is very much a support character. But man, the variety of skills needed for various obstacles and puzzles is so great! It really gave a lot of opportunity and encourages bringing a diverse bunch of people!

So, about healing -- I think maybe reducing the time between heal attempts from 1 hour to maybe 30 minutes is a really good idea. People can much more easily take a thirty minute RP break and kind of RP taking a break, setting up a small camp, etc, than waiting a full hour.

Another potential idea might be to make items that gift temporary HP for a specific period of time (15-30 minutes)? Like, bandages or cure-alls that might be applied to someone to get them back onto their feet long enough to get to safety and set up camp?

Having a camp function might also be really cool. Where everyone votes to enter a camp mode, where healing might happen a little faster, and people have to sign up for 'watch' shifts? I am likely getting way over complicated, but I'm really so impressed and so excited about this. It is simply amazing.

I am fairly self-aware when it comes to personal character flaws, and being a people pleaser is near the top of that list. It means I am usually willing to overlook behavior that makes me uncomfortable because I would far rather be mildly uncomfortable than make someone else upset. I'll save the dime-store sob story about why I am the way I am, but I've been working on being better to myself and part of that is in learning how to establish and maintain boundaries. The biggest hurdle I am experiencing right now, however, is identifying when something is a legitimate issue rather than me being picky or fussy. I am struggling to figure out if I am being judgmental and overly standoffish, or if it is okay to for me to speak up. The problem is, I do not want to harsh someone else's fun. I know we all come to MU*ing to get access to pretendy-fun time and I really don't want to be the jackass that tells someone they are doing it wrong.

So, this is my long-winded way of asking for advice or tips on how to ascertain if something is worth broaching and most importantly, how to address an issue in a way that doesn't come across assholish.

@Darinelle is the freaking best. I cannot overstate how much I appreciate how much people put into this game. The depth of characters, the meaty story, the insane amount of coding and badassery in terms of world building and investment. I mean. Yeah. You picked a good first Mu* @Dreampipe!

Oh no! Poor Daemon.