Best posts made by Aria

@saosmash said in Book Recommendations:

I love audiobooks but I'm very aural anyways -- I used to study in law school by reading cases out loud to myself; I am a weird outlier and should probably not be trusted.

When my anxiety was at its worst and making it impossible for me to concentrate during my first stint in college, I got permission from my professors to record their lectures and would listen to them on the bus home. It was a routine I ended up sticking with even long after I got the issue under control because I found it more helpful than reviewing written notes, which I find I barely ever re-read and often look at like, "Why did I write that down? Was I drunk or am I really just this nonsensical and dumb?"

Naturally, I love audiobooks but tend to save them for monotonous tasks like commuting or, worse, when I'm driving through bumfuck Pennsylvania on my way across the state and get no good radio stations. I also really like listening to them when taking baths because while I know long baths are supposed to be suuuuuuuuuuuper relaxing and indulgent, but I honestly get bored otherwise. I don't want to hear what goes on in my own head thanks.

If you like Neil Gaiman's writing, I recommend his audiobooks in particular. He reads many of them himself and between his parents correcting his stutter with childhood elocution lessons and years of reading bed-time stories to his kids (he does voices, you guys!), he's really very good at it. And it's somehow very personal when narrated by the author himself.

@saosmash said in Let's talk about TS.:

I think public groping in a nightclub is fine but at a Starbucks is eyeroll. Idk. I wish I were more surprised that this is a difficult line to draw in the sand.

"Unless this a room that would only be accessible to grown-ass adults, keep it above the waist and over the clothes, thanks."

There. Done.

Does it cover everything? Well, no, not really. But I think it's general enough to get the idea across in a largely functional and effective way.

@sockmonkey said in Good or New Movies Review:

@deadculture I agree. He has too much...face, if that makes any sense. I dunno. I am not using words well yet today.

...Yes. This makes perfect sense to me, because my immediate response was "Noooooooooo! Batman is not a sad puppy who is sad because he is not being hugged. :("

Which is just how Gyllenhaal's face looks to me. I mean, he's just fine as an actor, but the perpetually sad facial expression ain't Batman.

@sockmonkey said in Good or New Movies Review:

@deadculture Personally, I'm kinda burned out on superhero movies overall. If it doesn't have amazing reviews, I skip it and I feel personally betrayed when something is well-received and I end up disliking it anyway (I am looking at you, Deadpool and Spider-Man Homecoming)

I am praying that Disney doesn't do the same thing to Star Wars. I love Star Wars. It still fills me with wonder and glee. I hope this more-is-more business model of a movie every year doesn't eventually get me to Star Wars fatigue like I'm at with superheroes.

Pretty much this. We've skipped a fair few of the more recent superhero movies over the last... two years(?) or so because I just don't give a shit anymore. Unless I was looking forward to it for some particular reason (Wonder Woman, Thor: Ragnarok) or unless it receives such amazing reviews I'm willing to give it a go (Civil War, Deadpool), I'm just not interested anymore. Sorry.

I will probably go see Black Panther even though I'm not particularly familiar with the character or his comic book line for two reasons: I found the interviews where Chadwick Boseman is discussing his take on T'Challa's accent and the importance of it being not-British because Wakanda was never conquered by imperialist forces and that level of attention to detail fascinates me and because I want to fling my money at it to prove to Hollywood that yes, white people will go see blockbuster movies starring black actors who aren't Will Smith. Please cast them and pay them all the dollars, too, so I don't have to sit through another 'genius' and 'groundbreaking' movie/TV show written by some middle-aged white dude that's all a metaphor for him having spent his formative years desperately wanting the love of his distant father.

@faraday said in Forgiveness in Mushing:

I think Ark hit it on the head for why the hobby is kind of messed up, socially-speaking. A tabletop RPG crew may get overly invested in their characters. A tabletop wargame crew may get overly competitive. But those people still have to look each other in the eyes week after week and (generally) get to know each other pretty well. Internet gaming doesn't have that very important social filter.

^ Pretty much this. A lot of MUSHers behave as though they're sitting down at their weekly TT group, with the antics they engage in, the way they talk to people, the stuff they pull. But here's the thing about that: in your TT group, those people already know you. You have some kind of existing relationship beyond a scene or three in passing. They can see your expressions. They can hear your tone of voice. And because you're operating as a group (hopefully) working towards a common goal, all of these things combined are more likely to make you try to understand what someone is doing and why, or at least give them a pass if you don't.

On a game, you have none of those things. Moreover, on a particularly large game, it's very easy -- after one unpleasant interaction -- to simply never interact with that person again, or interact with them so infrequently that there's no reason to consider anything besides your initial impression. It's a disposable interaction, and the person behind it becomes disposable, too, with little recognition they're a person at all.

As for forgiveness? Yes, actually. Even recently, I've had people I dislike become friends. In fact, I now talk pretty regularly to... one of two people I've reported as a potential issue to staff? And made a point of informing Apostate of that fact when it happened months later. Every now and then there's a moment I presume they think is funny that still makes me cringe or grind my teeth, but the truth of the matter is.... well... sooner or later, I have that reaction to everybody. Including myself. People are annoying.

There are people I've done something to upset them (most often without realizing it) and they seem rather unwilling to let it go. There are people I'm too embarrassed to apologize to. There are people I've tried to hash things out with, only to be met in one instance with a statement that I'd apparently been upsetting them for months, that they hadn't told me why, that they had no intention of telling me why for the sake of keeping the peace (???), but that I should think about what I did that might have them so upset. There's another that seemed deeply offended by me quitting a PC despite their assurances to the contrary, my attempts to keep friendly communication open failed, and by the time I decided to pick up someone else that they had vague ties to and asked them if they'd be okay with that because I wanted to respect their feelings was accused of laying down some kind of conversational trap so I could report them to staff.

All of them pretty much go in the "avoid" pile for one reason or another -- sometimes to keep the peace, sometimes to preserve my sanity, sometimes because it's just not worth it. Would I call it forgiven? Ehhh, I dunno. Maybe? I don't bear them any ill will. I also don't really want to deal with them, though with some of those people, I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Then there are the people I will not forgive and do very much bear ill will towards. They're a very small category people. Most of them have done so much damage to various aspects of the gaming community that I presume it's malice. It might not be. Regardless of whether they're 'socially inept' or not, they're so toxic that I honestly don't care. They display deeply abusive patterns over the long-term and hurt people again. And again. And again. VASpider. DownwithOPP. Juerg. That guy Ryan that I mentioned in "Lies People Have Told About You." This woman Cat who I consider a horrid infection on the L5R community after watching her behavior poison four different games. At that point, no, I won't forgive them and I won't even consider it, because doing so doesn't do anyone any good. It only enables them to continue hurting other people, and my response to cries of "second chance" and "be the bigger person" effectively boil down to a very firm "No."

Albeit with more swearing, because it's me.

The only reason that my boyfriend is alive right now is because there were still two pie crusts left at the grocery store.

@mietze said in Forgiveness in Mushing:

People are people everywhere. Mush people I think tend to be much more on the social/wanting to connect side of things than normal. It is an asset. But does it lead sometimes to hissing and spitting, yes.

I shouldn't be laughing at this. I really shouldn't. But given the number of cats we've fostered or TNRed or rescued or rehomed, and the fact that our Pasha unfailingly reacts to any other cat entering his home with a hissing bitch-fit that has now invariably become a joke in our house....

I am now imagining poor @Apos doing what @insomniac7809 has to do with our foster cats: carrying the latest player around the game in his arms for very limited 'supervised introductions' for a few weeks until we're pretty sure that the hissing and spitting isn't going to turn into fur flying and a trip to the emergency vet because a bit of claw embedded into someone's cheek got infected.

This is not a reasonable expectation in any possible way, but I cannot stop laughing at the idea of some poor staffer having to carry the equivalent of Fedora Man around a room full of nerds being like, "Now, now. He's just being a defensive jerk because he's new....."

Use the soothing voice, you guys. The soothing voice is the important part.

Look.

Look at this pie I just put in the oven. Look at it.

It's fucking adorable.

@aerianyx If it's any consolation, the dude I who I mentioned having stalked me across multiple games for several years used one particular actor for the character I dealt with the most, the longest, and had the hardest time avoiding.

Despite the fact that this actor is reasonably talented and has never once in his life even been in the vague vicinity of me, let alone done something to me, I become irrationally angry every time I see his stupid fucking face. It makes no sense, I know, and I've never yet been able to determine if it's exacerbated by the fact that he tends to play jerks or if that just makes my reaction more tolerable in the moment, since it doesn't really contradict the plot of whatever he's in. Either way, the minute he's on screen, I'm pretty much in eye-narrowing "Man, fuck that guy" mode.

@auspice

I wear my button downs buttoned up to my boobs, and then just unbuttoned from there up. With a tank top underneath. 'Cause there ain't no way some froofy little button and a few strands of thread are keeping the beasts at bay. Like... no, just no. That's a good way to send a button flying across the room mid-meeting. With my luck, I'd put someone's eye out.

@Packrat said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

Personally I am male and also slightly bisexual? Or Hetero-curious? That is not quite the right term for it given curious implies that I have never given things a go. I have tried going on dates with and had sex with other guys but it does not do nearly as much for me as being with women does and I do not find very many men sexually attractive.

^ Me, but about women. Sometimes I say bisexual. Sometimes I say "heteroflexible", which seems more accurate. I honestly don't really worry about it too much because both my sexuality and my gender are close enough to the label of "basic cis-het white girl" that I appear to be given my body shape (giant boobs!) and the fact that I'm married to a man. Whether that's passing or erasure? <shrug> I'm generally more concerned with whether or not I'm intruding on queer spaces than whether or not people get my label right.

I hate Zak Snyder.

Hate.

HATE.

That is all.

Mia

Thesarin

@insomnia I promise, it's not just you. In fact, I present:

Strange Romantic Behaviors Aria Has Been Subjected To: A Small Sampling

1. At the end of my junior year of high school, my then BFF of two years, Mark, drove me to Borders with him. This would not have been unusual, except for the fact that he apparently drove me to Borders with him so that we would be in a public place and I would not make a scene when he 'broke up with me'. Note: I had a boyfriend at the time. Who he'd met. And didn't like.
   Apparently, he'd had feelings for me the entire time we'd been friends -- which he never mentioned, not even during the multiple instances of me being single between various high school boyfriends. I was expected to magically divine them, I guess? I don't know. But either way, it was just too painful to be around me. Naturally, I cried. I am sure that he found some validation in that, as opposed to realizing that.... y'know, I was crying because my best friend just told me we couldn't be friends anymore. And I suppose had never really been friends to begin with.

2. A friendly of acquaintance of mine, MT, asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him and his roommate Sam, and cook some tasty food and also listen to MT's fabulous record collection! It turns out, this was in fact a blind date. A supervised blind-date, where I was being set up with said very shy roommate. Also of note: Sam is short for 'Samantha'. I am not gay.

3. An ex of mine once found out I'd had a brief sexy-times fling with the ex prior to him. He called me up and started screaming at me about how I had cheated on him and he was going to kill himself. We had broken up three months earlier.

4. A guy I'd been friendly with on several games, at least one messenger program, and early versions of Facebook over the course of about three years had a screaming, raging, threatening meltdown when he discovered that I was seeing someone. (It was a very impressive meltdown worthy of its own story, but this is supposed to be just a sampling.) He'd apparently been intending to propose, a fact which he proved by showing me pictures of the ring he'd purchased for me. We had never met.

5. I should note that Dude #4 is not the same guy as the one who spent about four years harassing me and @insomniac7809 after discovering that no, I had absolutely no intentions of boning him no matter how frequently or slyly he tried.

So I guess what I'm really saying is that the best part of having been in the same committed relationship for almost a decade now is that we generally only have two people's awkward, disappointing, or just downright weird romantic ideas and behavior to deal with -- each other's. And after this long, at least we know what to expect. #truelove

I also made Secret Mia, which is WAY CUTE, but argggh. I cannot share because secret.

@cupcake said in Um...What?:

@aria said in Um...What?:

@coin said in Um...What?:

My brother didn't realize he was fucking a Nazi until he saw the Swastika tatoo on her boob.

I accidentally had dinner at a Nazi's house once.

And I don't mean, like.... a neo-Nazi. I mean a Nazi Nazi. Like, served on the wrong side of WWII Nazi. By choice. It was super awkward when I found out.

Story time!

Okay, soooooooooo. About ten years or so ago, I was dating this guy from Sweden named Bjorn. (Because of course his fucking name was Bjorn. What else would it be?) And while I was there visiting his family for a few months, we end up getting roped into going to his grandparents' house for dinner -- something which he proceeds to be a sulky asshole about for days, before being effectively forced to go by his dad.

We get to the family farm and his dad's enormous collection of relatives is there. Now, bear in mind that at this point in trying to learn the language, I can string all of about three sentences together, most of which revolve around buying beer. And while I can sort of understand what people are saying to me without someone translating, it's only if it's in a set context (like I'm trying to check out at the grocery) or if it's a topic I already follow pretty well (like gaming). Even then, I have to answer them in English because again, three sentences.

Lucky for me, almost all of Bjorn's family spoke English to some degree -- even his grandmother. Our conversations were fairly limited (where do I live? what do I do? what do my parents do? what am I studying?), but we were capable of having them. Except for his grandfather. His grandfather spoke literally no English. And his grandfather is also not a bartender, so my limited Swedish is completely and utterly useless. The whole night, half of the conversation is in Swedish for his sake and half is in English for my sake, and the two of us spend it all feeling awkward and out of place and like we're inconveniencing everyone else....

Until we have this beautiful, beautiful moment that crosses language and cultural barriers. Sitting there feeling awkward and lost, we both peek at each other. And realizing the other feels the exact same way, we simultaneously crack up laughing and absolutely cannot stop -- which everyone else around us thinks is crazy, because the only two people in the room who can't talk to each other now have some kind of inside joke. Honestly, it was very sweet. It made me happy and gave me all kinds of warm fuzzies.

By the end of the night, it seems that grandpa had decided he really liked me, because he stopped us before we left the house. Apparently, he wanted to show me the family rifle -- which are legal in Sweden, but very, very rare. I guess he thought Americans all love guns, so maybe he could be nice to his grandson's American girlfriend by showing her his hunting rifle? I don't know. It was definitely weird but also funny and kind of cute because he was very obviously trying to bond with me, even if it was in the most uncomfortable way possible. I decide I like him, too.

So we get home and Bjorn and I are changing clothes and getting ready for bed, when I say I had a really nice time. I thought his grandparents were so nice to me even though it obviously wasn't easy for them, and that his grandpa was actually very sweet. Almost all of my grandparents had passed away or were very ill and I missed them. Why was he such a shit about going to visit them for just one night?

And that's when he drops this bombshell.

"Ohh. Didn't anyone tell you? My grandfather was a Nazi."

...........

....................

........................................

"You mean like a Nazi-Nazi?," I spit out </high-pitched voice crack>.

Because, I dunno, I guess there's some other kind? Diet Nazi? Nazi Zero? I don't really know here, but I'm having a hard time processing this information. I just ate dinner at a Nazi's house. He was nice to me. We almost hugged. I almost hugged an actual Nazi, you guys.

"Yes. He joined the Swedish Nazi party, and volunteered to go fight in Germany. My whole family hates him, but my dad makes us go see them once a year, anyway."

At this point, I start freaking out -- not just because I just had dinner at Nazi's house, but because Bjorn is being so calm and non-chalant about this. Like this is just a thing some people's grandfathers did, which of course I realize is the case, but I guess it just hadn't occurred to me that it might be a possibility in a country that was neither Germany nor an occupied territory at the time. "Grandpa was a Nazi" is not on my radar of potential social situations I might find myself in.

He, meanwhile, does not seem to understand why I am so shaken by this and I have to explain to him that in the States, not only was pretty much everyone's grandfather was on the other side of the war? Sixty years later, we will still ship your swastika-sporting ass back to Germany* for possible trial if it comes out you were a Nazi, no matter how old and shriveled you might be.

And that, kids, is the true story of "How Aria Accidentally Made Friends with Her Ex-Boyfriend's Sweet, Gun-Toting Nazi Granddad."

Good times!

(*Unless, y'know, you want to work on our space program and then we'll give you a visa and eleventy billion dollars or something. But that's a whole different story. You can Google that shit yourselves.)

@Wretched said in Fantasy Avatar Generator:

All the men look like children in bad middle school theater makeup and fake facial hair.

I mean, look. I would definitely go with this instead, but I haven't yet been able to convince @Apos to give me a war-bear or a magic staff.

We make do with what we've got.

@thenomain said in Um...What?:

So this thread has turned into a "when I met a fascist/socialist" thread.

Um...what?

(I am kidding; this is a fantastic series of um-whats.)

Contrary the number of my moronic countrymen shrieking otherwise, those words are not synonyms.

So there's a game called Marrying Mister Darcy that you might want to check out. It's a card game, not a MU*, but I think it could provide some interesting inspiration on setting up characters with, like..... guidelines of what would and would not constitute a 'good' match for them based on certain characteristics they're looking for and things you can do in game.

@arkandel said in Good TV:

@aria Have you read the books, btw?

I have not, but they're probably going on my (hahahahaha) to read list, which is currently about 140 books long.

Also, @Wretched? My mother does that. And it drives me batshit, because the conversation inevitably ends up going something like this:

Ari-mom: Who's that?
Aria: I have no idea.
Ari-mom: Why not?
Aria: I literally turned the TV on and started watching this at the same time you did.
Ari-mom: Oh. Alright!

A few minutes later:

Ari-mom: I don't understand what's going on! Explain to me what that guy there is doing.
Aria: Same amount of information you have, Mom.
Ari-mom: What did he just say?
Aria: I have no idea. I couldn't hear the TV over us talking.

That last one is my personal favorite. Because I am an awesome, multi-tasking millenial, it seems I'm expected to have developed the amazing superpower of carrying on a ten minute conversation with her while also processing whatever is happening in the show and simultaneously explaining it to her as some sort of live commentary feed.

I keep it in a drawer right next to my ability to give her step by step instructions, over the phone, on how to repair her iPad -- a piece of technology I've never used, because my tablet is made by Samsung.

She is adorable and also I want to strangle her. ^_^

FWIW, I didn't read the comments and questions as being particularly critical or negative.

I did, however, read them as being hyperfocused on a level of historical accuracy that it seems the game wouldn't be interested in recreating as indicated in Auspice's original post mentioning satire, comedy, and modern sensibilities because -- as she said -- most of us aren't intimately familiar with the nuanced details of Regency society (do you know the social significance of arriving in a phaeton over a closed carriage?!?) and also because frankly, the Regency era (and broad swaths of history, really) sucked a whole lot for basically anyone who wasn't either wealthy or landed, preferably both, and also preferably both while also being white, straight, and male.

Oh. And born first. Let's not forget the unfortunate lot of the third brother who gets shunted off for an unwanted career in the church because the man needs to have a living!

So basically varying levels of "hot garbage and no fun" for pretty much everyone except those ten people.

Given the general readership of most Regency novels and audience for costume dramas in comparison to those demographics, I sincerely doubt that most potential players want to have 87 scenes in a row of sewing circles, nothing but sewing circles as far as the eye can see, and that a decent amount of realism was going to be punted into a corner never to be mentioned again for the sake of actually being, like..... enjoyable to RP.