Best posts made by Aria

@arkandel said in Good TV:

@derp I had the misfortune of reading through the comments section on a Troy review when I was curious about the show. A lot of posts were about 'Hollywood rewriting characters for affirmative action, lol, they made Achilles bisexual'.

Motherfuckers, have you read the Illiad?

....Not to mention all the times the Greeks laughed about how white and pale the Babylonians were, what with covering their skin from the sun. Y'all can keep wanking off to the xenophobic, hyper-masculine Miller version of 300 if you really want to, but uhhhh, Hellenistic Greece was full of brown boys who loved the D. #sorrynotsorry

My dog is pretty much the best thing ever. All the time.

But today....

Today, he has startled himself with his own farts. Not once, but twice. The first time, he jerked himself out of sleep and looked back at his butt, confused. The second time, he full on stood up and trotted several steps away from his dog bed before looking back to see what sort of horrible thing was clearly chasing after him while he laid vulnerable and unsuspecting.

And now I cannot stop laughing.

Signed,
Aria, a very mature and responsible adult who does not have the sense of humor of a fifth grade boy.

@surreality I suddenly miss my lovable, yet incredibly stupid, fighter-biter of an orange boy cat who passed away very unexpectedly last February.

He had this habit of scratching his chin with his back legs and then freaking out because clearly, some asshole was kicking him in the face. To which he would retaliate by bitin' them toes. And that was inevitably followed by him flying into a full-blown cat panic because some invisible attack monster was trying to eat his feet. Cue the cat running around the house in a panic, yowling all the way to a hiding spot.

Note: I said he had a habit of doing this. As in more than once. As in regularly. It's one of the reasons we were convinced that Something Wasn't Quite Right when it came to our poor Mishka.

This an online peeve/disgruntlement/irk, but it's not pertaining to a game, so I'mma post it here.....

As @insomniac7809 said, yeah. Yeah. Our AC is broken, and our back door lock is jammed, and the dog is super sick. And after spending more money than we really have and most of the day measuring, carrying, cutting, and loading the lumber and other supplies I need to make him a specialty dog ramp for our inside stairs by myself, a day I should've spent studying but am now spending tired and sweaty and sore.....

I come home to find that Lain is banned. Again. With "Illegal Aryan" as a username this time.

FFS. Can we just get a "This motherfucker, AGAIN?!" gif added to the library to post every time he pops up with another annoyingly trollish and probably racist thread, so I don't have to look at the dumb shit he has says for more than a few posts? Can that be a thing? Please? I mean, I know we have a report button or whatever, but really, I think this option is a bonus and would make it very slightly less annoying.

I propose:

@tyche said in RL Anger:

@admiral said in RL Anger:

@ganymede A hundred white men get convicted of a specific crime and its #NotAllMen.

One black man gets accused too and its #YesAllN*****rs.

93% of the prison population are men.
88% of Darwin award winners are men.
70% of accidental deaths are men.
90% of sexual assaults are committed by men.
Generally speaking we are prone to violence of all sorts and taking crazy risks.
This is not a cultural thing. It's nature.

So's polio, but thanks to innovation and a concerted public effort, we've pretty much stopped that shit in it's tracks.

Just sayin'.

@darinelle squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiints

I have a feeling this either involves some dumbfuck that thinks you can get paid to code MUs in such a way that it is actually financially sustainable (tip: you can make beer money and that's about it) or someone who really should probably get slapped with the "Well, Actually...." song.

I feel like, on the day after a holiday, offices should send out an automated email first thing in the morning.

"Everyone else was out, too. You didn't miss anything. Slow your roll, Brenda."

Today, I finally got to ask someone in IT who was having technical difficulties if they tried turning it off and turning it back on again.

It was glorious.

@surreality ....do you want me to punch him in the face? I've punched neo-Nazi bikers in the face. I'm pretty sure I could take on a self-obsessed internet turd without too much trouble.

I should probably note that the US actually does have laws about requiring employers to give time off to people to vote -- something along the lines of, "If there's not three consecutive hours that the polls are open during your shift, your boss is required to let you adjust your schedule so that there are." The thing is, a) most people don't know that and b) most Americans live in at-will employment/right-to-work states, so while your boss isn't allowed to fire you for taking time to vote on Tuesday, he or she is allowed to fire your ass because you wore a green shirt to work on Wednesday and fuck green. Like.... there's a whole host of things your boss isn't allowed to fire you for in this country, but the onus is on the employee to prove that's why they got fired. If your boss has about three brain cells to rub together, they will say, "Well, Jim, we've decided to let you go for being three minutes late to work that one time six months ago" as opposed to "Well, Jim, we found out that you really butt-sex -- the with other dudes kind, I mean! -- and haha, Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Get your stuff and get out."

So, for the last two-ish months, I've been working at an (internal) internship in my company. Since we're enormous (we're talking over 16,000 employees here) they're basically an opportunity to be sent to another department on loan at your current pay rate, while your regular job is being held for you, so you can learn about a new section of the business, possibly work a high-profile project to put in your portfolio, and if they can use your internship to convince their VP to add headcount to their team, to get yourself a new position. In my case, this job is a level up from mine, so that new position would be a promotion that comes with an automatic 7% pay raise plus an increase to the base they calculate your profit-sharing bonus from every June.

The only issue I've been having is that I've gone from working on the marketing team, specifically with the writers and the graphic designers and the UX developers to working with the sales team. And not just the sales team, but the B2B sales team in the notoriously conservative financial industry. Needless to say, the atmosphere -- and the dress code -- is very different. Like, I am no longer sitting next to a lady who wears Docs and plaid dress pants to work sometimes. I'm sitting next to one who wears blazers to work almost every day and still keeps a jacket in her cube 'just in case' for the days she doesn't. She's not an executive. She writes RFP content. I've mostly been able to get away with it during the 'summer' weather (that lasted until, like, Friday) when things are a bit more casual. But in the words of the Starks 'winter is coming', and I am not the sort of person who owns pumps and power suits.

Well.... I just got almost $700 of winter clothes. For $285. And I'm almost as proud of that as I am of getting that internship, and am over here like:

@surreality Ohhh, believe me, I'm aware. At one point we had six cats, because I live in Philly where there are tons and tons of strays. Worse, I live by a golf course, so lots of fuckwits who decide they don't want to keep their cats anymore think that "it seems like a nice place for them to live and hunt with lots of birds!!", not realizing that their indoor house cat has no idea how to survive in the wild.

We briefly had a seventh cat I cared for entirely outdoors due to being FIV+, until I convinced my mom and dad to take him in at their farm, where their barn cats may or may not be exposed to it, anyway.

Of those seven cats, we purposefully took in.... two. I am a dog person, hands down, and yet somehow. Somehow. "Cats happen" has been the story of my life for ten years. Probably because the shelter in our city has a brutally low survival rate, so I never have it in me to call animal control.

@cupcake That's where you live now, forever. I recommend locating local delivery services, ASAP.

...It's quarter past six and yes, most of my office has left. But no, dude from the externally contracted telecom installation team, it is not appropriate for you to be loudly recounting your glory days of having your sun-roof open so a girl could be riding you with her tits bouncing in your face. Especially not at a volume I can hear quite clearly from several rooms down the hall.

And as for you, dude who said "I told you" to your coworker after my very calm and polite request to "tone it down a bit because we still have employees here", all of whom I should note happen to be female? If you knew it was inappropriate, you should have told him again because you were the one he was trying to impress with his story. And yeah, bro. Yeah. I noticed you wouldn't look me in the eye, so you're clearly pretty fucking aware you should have done better.

@kanye-qwest said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

i think my battery is dying. I have a pushbutton starter that just kind of lags or doesn't turn on when I'm trying to start the car.

I have money to get a new battery. I don't have TIME. I work until 7pm and can't really take time off right now through the end of the year. So. That's fun.

Costco. They're open until 9PM and give you $$$ for recycling your old battery core or something. I also buy my tires there.

If anyone else in here is a retail employee, I will happily gift you the link to the Christmas playlist I made for @insomniac7809 a few years ago.

....it's called "Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animals" and is forty punk songs either covering Christmas songs or, often, about how fucking awful the holidays are.

If it would make the retail workers feel better, I will tell my very funniest retail story ever, which involves end-of-night inventory at a friend's place of employment. I will warn, however, that said friend was working at a fetish shop at the time, so.... it's super, super NSFW.

Y/N?

@jinshei Awwwww. She looks so earnestly concerned with two eyebrows. Like, I expect her to sit me down for a cup of coffee and have a long talk with me about an important life choice.

Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Take my doggy to the vet and find out he was mostly better.
2. Spend many hours trying to nap away the last of this stupid fucking cold.
3. Make friends with a guy heavily connected to the old Philly mob.

.....My life is fucking weird, man.

The day a couple announces their engagement, offering the future bride unsolicited diet advice of how she should do keto and "just not eat carbs".

Fuck off, Mom.