Best posts made by Aria

@Kestrel said in RL things I love:

@Aria said in RL things I love:

(remind me to tell you guys the story about me having to explain to my college roommate that no, he would not be able "tell" if his girlfriend had cheated on him the next time they had sex)

Oh my god. I have heard this one. I think?

Queefing is a sign that a woman has air trapped in her vagina caused by having had sex with another man.

Allegedly.

I heard this amazing fact told by a married man.

Nope. He was under the impression that vaginas will "hold the shape" of the last thing in them, so if someone else's dick had been up in there, it would fit differently.

.........
..................
......................................

Apparently, someone forgot to tell me that my vagina works like a reverse jello mold.

There were words. And since I went to the university that houses the Kinsey Institute and took several of their classes, I sighed very heavily and made him, the two other guys who lived in our house, and about four of my female friends take the "Human Sexuality" class they offered over the next few semesters.

By the end of junior year, I basically had a standing policy of gently offering "Do you need to ask me any questions later after you've thought about it for a bit?" to my male friends and roommates when they came over after that class, dumbfounded and silent. I was doing the Lord's work.

In that case, I'm just gonna spam you guys. I don't have kids, but I'm still FB with my childhood bestie and her mom -- who became the principal at our elementary school before retiring. Right now, Mrs. J (which I will still call her when I'm 50, tyvm), is flooding her feed with resources for her former students, former teachers, and parents.

Virtual Field Trips, Including Yellowstone, Mars, and the Louvre

Sites to Teach Through Tech

Scholastic's Learn at Home Program

Museum Tours

77 'STEM' Acitivities to Do at Home

Actor Josh Gad Is Reading Books to Kids Online Every Night During Coronavirus Quarantines

Outschool -- Offering online classes for kids up to age 18, some for as little as $5 per class. Gonna be honest, though. I'm 35 and some of these look awesome. >.>

Michael Symon Doing Daily Cooking Lessons

Starting at 5PM daily, they'll be cooking recipes that can primarily be made using standard pantry ingredients. Lists of substitutions will be included given limited stock in grocery stores.

@Auspice I laughed way harder than should've -- mostly because it sent me into another coughing fit.

@tek said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Today in mediocre mantrums:

1. Yeshivish guy who claims that the medieval rebbes understood microbes and his intelligence is superior to mine and also no one has ever died in front of a Torah
2. Guy I defriended comes back to my profile to laugh react my one public post and then block me.

Someone needs to calm their boys down.

I have this theory that all the dudes that normally spend their time sending unsolicited dick-pics are pacing their apartments right now, finally realizing that with all of the shelter-in-place orders spreading around, there is absolutely no chance. Like, none. Sorry, bro, you're definitely not getting your dick wet.

I mean, there was a very, very low chance before. But now I think it's more that the slowly dawning reality is driving them crazy.

So, there's a voting contest going on at my office right now where people can submit photos of their home setup to see who has the coolest one. That's not the important part of the story. That's the background.

The important part is that after one of my coworkers began teasing our teammate Elliot about his submission with an MS Teams chat about #ElliotForPresident, I started peppering him with hard-hitting questions about how he feels about dogs. Then asked if he'd be willing to have a dog as his running mate. Then Duke the dog-mayor of Minnesota came up....

And now my team is debating the possibility of a dog-based presidential cabinet and our willingness to remove term limits if future State of the Union addresses will be conducted with puppies replacing most of the officials normally on the podium.

I say vote Doggo in 2020.

@Ganymede said in RL things I love:

@Aria said in RL things I love:

I just got into the top-ranked of the four MBA programs that I applied to -- making the interview I have at another one on Monday waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less stressful and dropping the fact that a third refused to grant me a GMAT waiver into a "Cool, you guys can withdraw my application" category of giving zero fucks.

Hooray!

Please take the economics courses seriously, though, seriously.

I'm way more worried about the accounting classes than anything else. I may work at a massive finance company, but not in a finance position. My understanding is in broad strokes and large scale, not what stock you should have in your portfolio. <pats her A's in Macroeconomics>

Not looking forward to "Financial Accounting for Managers".

I am very pleased at the emphasis on business ethics the program I'm interviewing with on Monday has, though, and it's one of the things that I pointed out in my essay. It's one of the things that drew me to my undergraduate school, too, along with their philosophy requirements. And it's definitely why I took a pay cut to move to the company I'm at now.

Having money is great. Having money at the cost of your soul and the well-being of large masses of other people, not so much. Fuck that.

@surreality Depending on which Costco you go to, they also have the ice cream kind!

Jesus Christ, lady. It's past midnight. I have work in the morning. I have an MBA interview in the afternoon. Listening to your non-stop, ten minute long incoherent screaming rant echo off of several blocks of rowhomes and into all three levels of my house is not something I have time for.

Shut. the. Fuck. Up.

@TNP We would assume. All of our cats were strays, so who knows?

And we have five. FIVE. We definitely have some extra cats that I wish we could store for the future.

@Testament said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Thinking you've said something wrong to a friend and suddenly they stop responding to you on various messengers and thinking they're mad at you.

When probably they're just busy with their own stuff, like life, work, family, and just because it says their online doesn't actually mean they're free to talk. They're just busy.

You didn't do anything, you're just thinking of reasons why they haven't responded in the last few days and clearly meaning it's your fault. Because isn't it always your fault? That's silly, it's fine.

But...

No, leave it, it's fine. You're fine. Running out of your anti-depressants because of Covid isn't your fault. You're okay. No one is mad at you.

This inner monologue has been my last couple of days. I want it to stop.

If any of this is related to my radio silence this week, it's because @insomniac7809 basically exploded one of his eyeballs (again) and had to have urgent surgery to fix it (again). I've spent the week driving his ass around to doctors and pharmacies while also still trying to work as much of a full work-week as I can, getting back on my own meds that got messed up, and having a minor meltdown because an unmasked delivery driver breathed, like, right on my face.

I am not mad at you. Or anyone. Just....

@surreality said in Good TV:

Am starting to believe that flashy period epics on Netflix are the home for retired CW teen-targeted show actors, between this and The Last Kingdom inheriting at least one of them. (Medici has a couple.) It's good to see them in things that seem to showcase more range than CW tended to give 'em. So when I say, 'the cast is surprisingly good', don't give in to that inclination to see those familiar faces and roll your eyes -- it also has Dennis Hoffman, Sean Bean, Ray Stephenson, and Julian Sands, after all (all of whom I to death).

Everyone please just watch The Last Kingdom. I want more seasons of this show and there's still, like, five or six books worth of material to cover and also I would like to smooch Alexander Dreymon's face eleven thousand times.

That's all.

@Cupcake

"Girl Aethel-, Shitty Aethel-, Old Aethel-......"

@Roz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Aria As a digital marketing professional, sloppy remarketing just offends me.

GET YOUR PIXELS WORKING STRAIGHT.

Ironically, that's what my MBA is going to focus on. Maybe I should do my capstone on How Not to Digitally Market a Marketing MBA.

I absolutely adored every single moment of The Great and could not stop laughing the entire time.

Dear Professor -

Writing business memos is not "fun". I'm not sure what your concept of fun is, but analyzing the super dodgy revenue model of Uber isn't it, even if you present it as getting to write a pretend memo to their CEO.

May I suggest picking up a hobby?

Sincerely,
Me

When stuff you ordered from independent artists on Kickstarter/Etsy comes in the mail.

Especially when you backed/pre-ordered it so long ago, you weren't really expecting it, so it's kind of like a surprise present from past-you.

Thanks, four-months-ago-me! You have really cute taste.

@Packrat said in Critters!:

Here is the cuter of my two cats, looking cute. She has spent the last three months during lockdown mostly following me around or sleeping next to me but is apparently terrified of all other humans.

I mean, "screw people except this one that I like" is generally a sentiment I can get behind.