Best posts made by Auspice

I do enjoy a good white pizza, tho. White pizza. Chicken. Spinach. Nom.

Got the apartment.

...now I just gotta find someone who can lend me some money for just-shy of a month. 'Cause the move date is right before I get paid. Derp.

So I kept skipping this thread because 'I don't collect anything'

... but as I'm packing to move, I came across my box with 70+ decks of cards and then remembered the others strewn about.

Oops.

So, yeah. I collect playing cards.

@VulgarKitten said in RL Anger:

People who expect you to constantly, vocally be grateful to them. I get less and less grateful each time.

Worse when they're the sort of person who never shows gratitude themselves.

I'm sorry, VK. It always sucks.

@Cupcake said in RL things I love:

@Auspice said in RL things I love:

I've been told I'm intimidating, too.

I honestly don't understand why.

Ever see/read Pride and Prejudice? You know the part where Darcy tells Elizabeth that he didn't think Jane's feelings for Bingley were the same because she wasn't obvious in her expression and Lizzie's like, "SHE'S SHY!"?

That.

Well... see, I think I'm VERY expressive, so I try to tone it back actively.

Oops. >.>

Also, for an RL thing I love...
Between moving, trying to save up to be able to get my cat, etc... I don't really have spare money. I've been yearning for the last few upgrades my desktop (gaming) computer needs. It's been on only 8GB RAM, but... the DDR3 stuff isn't cheap.

Today, while hauling things to the dumpster, I saw a mostly-gutted computer tower. Decided to check it out.

I now have another 8GB RAM in my machine.

So the devious purpose of this thread is to share my GoFundMe. Some of you may have seen in the RL threads that I'm working on saving up money to get my cat out to me. And while I'm looking into the emotional support animal certification in case it can off-set some costs, I am not relying on it. Thus I'm trying to save up the total cost I estimate needing (about $1k). And I need that by the end of November, which isn't long for someone like me who has just a bit more than 'making ends meet' money.

This is definitely an 'every little bit helps' situation and any money left over will go to stuff the cat needs once she's here (like food, toys, litter box, registration, etc.).

If you can chip in: https://www.gofundme.com/bringikehome

So! To keep this from just being a begging type thread... I thought we could share pics.

Here's my two cats. Ashes (the grey and white one) and Ike (the black one). Ashes is too old to move cross-country (upstate SC to Seattle region) and my mother adores her, so I know she's being very well cared for (I get many photos of her lounging in windows and cuddling in blankets).

Ashes:

Ike:

@Lithium said in RL things I love:

Put in an application and resume yesterday.

Had phone interview today.

Have real interview Monday.

It's nice to feel wanted.

Good luck!

About a week ago, had a bruise show up on my knee. Whatev. Went about my business. In the last few days, bruise has worsened, knee has swollen, and last night it began to hurt. In the 'can't sleep and can't function' sort of way. Went to urgent care today.

Doctor there sent me on to the ER because he wanted to make sure I didn't have a blood clot. However... after xrays, ultrasound, etc... knee is clear. Diagnosis is just a bad muscle strain. So rest, ice, tylenol, etc. Sucks, but it could be a helluva lot worse.

I admit it. I got weepy.

I used to have way, way too many balls. Now I have... none, ever. I don't go out enough to hit Pokestops and the adjustment to the PGo Plus in that if you're moving over a certain speed, it won't trigger stops...

... which yes, is super lame, I see emails / complaints on it all the time, but TPCi can't do anything about PGo stuff. That's aaaaaall Niantic.

Saw the doctor today re: asthma attacks.

She's fairly sure I just have a lingering infection in my sinuses. So I've got 7 days of zithromax, flonase, and cough syrup. Cough syrup with hydrocodone. Which is why this is in RL things I love.

...because damnit I can enjoy feeling a little stoned while it helps me feel better.

Also, my doctor is v. near the Regent Bakery... aka the source of the inspiration for the Portal cake. No, the cake is not a lie. It is real and a super tasty black forest cake. I bought a slice today and I shall be enjoying it tonight after dinner.

Some of them bother me, but I'm OK with babe/baby, but- I also see it only as a 'between partners who know the other is OK with it.'

I have not minded when people I am dating use it with me.
I entirely mind it when people I'm not dating (or worse: barely know) use it.

I don't mind boo, but that's more in a 'fucking hilarious to hear someone say it' sense. I always hear it as said by Aziz Ansari's character in Parks & Rec (reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vog94NiZ4zo)

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

@Auspice, meet @Wizz. Wizz; Auspice.

Now please just ignore me while I go back here and put on some Barry White (or at least Barry Adamson)…

Y'know, I aaaaaaalmost put a disclaimer that I am not available. GO BACK TO YOUR FANCY MICROSCOPE SIR.

@Thenomain

Saskia liked me.

But yes, I informed him that he built a fancy cat bed.

@surreality said in RL things I love:

Can we maybe go back to keeping politics in the politics section, maybe? Because really, we have one for that purpose.

A hundred times this.

Double post, but...
I've been hemming and hawing over posting this. I fear the stigma that may come of it. But what if I'm not the only one in this spot? What if, by posting, I can help someone feel like they're not alone?

I don't know. I may come back and delete this in a fit of anxious horror in the morning.

I've been on my own mental health path. It hasn't been easy, but it never is. And in all that analyzation and evaluations and so on with doctors, my therapist... I've been told that I'm on the spectrum.

The biggest way this affects my life in the realm of social interactions is... well, I don't get social interactions. Most of what I 'know' is by mimicry. I couldn't explain why we do X or say Y, I just know it's what everyone does. I cannot 'read' tone or body language. I don't always get metaphors and I take most things literally. I'll say things that come across as embarrassing innuendo to everyone else. I've been mocked, in the past, for being "too dumb" to realize someone was insulting me.

There was a mention the other day in... Random Bitching, I think? about how emoticons are often used... sarcastically, was it? That they don't mean what they should when most people use them now. That fucking terrifies me because half the time, the emoticon is the only way I can figure out the intention or tone of something someone's said.

My therapist has been pushing that I need to communicate... my communication issues. That I need to learn to ask people to help me out. Such as clarifying something on the short-term, or say, asking an RL friend to be direct and not rely on subtext or body language. A good example is... If someone tells me 'We'll RP this weekend,' I used to not schedule or engage in any other RP (on that game). Period. I've spent many weekends just waiting around until Monday hits and I finally ask what happened. 'Oh, I had other scenes I had to finish up.' So now, I'll touch base: 'Hey, I know you said we'd RP this weekend. Bob is asking me if I want to RP- will you be available in the next couple hours, or shall I go ahead and RP with him?'

I do it for clarification in-scene, too. 'Hey, did this part of your pose mean X, Y, or something else I'm completely missing?'

I'm getting better at it, but I still get incredibly anxious sometimes. At least online, if an anxiety attack comes along... I can get up, walk away, and recover. Can't do that, IRL Someday I hope to have the anxiety under control enough that I do feel more confident at in-person interactions and asking for clarification when needed.

So there's my bit. The dirty secret I've been holding for over half a year now. I've read back over it and I think... I communicated decently well. I'm going to stop second-guessing it all, hit Submit, and go to bed.

I'm over here just waiting on more news on American Gods...

Does anyone else ever reach this point of... having something you should see a doctor about and avoiding it because you just feel so done?

My cubital is flaring up bad in my right arm. Prob because of how hardcore I've been knitting and crocheting over the past 4-5 months. But it's at a point where the tendon in my hand is so tight that... if I don't tape my pinky to my ring finger, it ends up 'stuck' extended out and hurts too much to use the hand. >.>

I've been making do by massaging the trigger points, icing, using a TENS, and I found exercises for it. I'm sure a doctor would probably just put me in a PT program, so I keep hoping I'll see progress from it on my own. But then I have days where my hand will start spazzing out (whole hand shaking, dropping things because my grip fails).

But I had so much medical-wise last year that I just don't want to go into more just yet.

One of the things I've had to learn to do is be more firm with people. More honest, not that I lied before. It was more that I obscured the truth, or worked around it. I've always done my best not to lie, but sometimes I'll withhold information.

Especially if it pertains to me.

"Will you be upset if..."
"Nah, I'll be fine."
(truth: 'I'll be fine eventually but right now yes I am totally hurt.')

A MU* example:
One of the people I'm closest to, IRL/OOC, joined a game with me. We made chars with pretty heavy ties to each other.

I've not been able to get him to RP for the last month and a half. It's starting to negatively impact how I can play my character. And whenever I'd ask about it, he'd want more time. To decide if he was going to be on the game or not.

I finally put my foot down yesterday. I told him basically: 'Hey, if you can't get into the game or the character, that's fine. I'm not going to be upset if you decide to leave. But I need to know because it's having a negative impact on me.'

Used to be I'd just steadily fade off my character rather than make my needs known. So I do consider this a win. Being able to acknowledge that my needs/wants are just as valid as someone else's.