Posts made by Auspice

@Gingerlily said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

I do remember exactly what I was thinking when I wrote down each of those numbers though.

'If I write this down I'll remember it.'

My mom is sending me her standing frame.

She hasn't used it in at least a decade, so I'd asked her to price out sending it to me. I didn't have high hopes because that woman is a lost cause of getting shit done (not ADHD; she's just lazy and puts shit off endlessly). And I was figuring she'd expect me to send the money so I wanted to know and figured 'hey if my tax return is big enough maybe it can be a small nice thing for myself even tho I'm out of work' or a thing I did for myself when I had a job again.

But no, she's shipped it! I'll have it Friday!

I feel even better about having bought a pattern to stitch for her for mothers day.

And lemme put something on the opposite end of the spectrum:

In Maryland (and then Ohio the years I lived there), in the summer if it went over a certain temp (like, 90, 95'F ish)... there'd be PSAs about heat warnings. Stay inside. Stay cool. Conserve energy by turning off lights and using fewer electronics (since ACs or fans would be running more). Outdoor recesses would be cancelled.

They don't do that in TX.

@Ghost said in The Work Thread:

You make a good point about lack of snow infrastructure. Not a lot of people think about dried-then-moist roads here, nor do they consider that cities that dont expect X dont invest in Y.
A legit tornado would royally fuck my town.

(interesting. the board crashed and lost my reply)

Regions/states/cities build for what they got.

The buildings in SoCal are built for earthquakes.
Look at the houses in coastal Carolinas, Georgia, Florida, etc: they're made for hurricanes.
The roads in the southwest look different than the roads in, say, New England because they are built for the hot, dry weather.

Climate change has fucked a lot of this up, but for a long ass time, what we've had has worked save for those weird years. My first winter in Austin, it snowed 3 times. Each time was a 'dusting' (one time it was about an inch) compared to up north, but people who had been here 10+ years told me it was the most snow they'd seen here. It hasn't snowed at all this winter. In fact, save for a fair bit of rain, it's been mostly 60+ during the day (a lot of sub-40 mornings, but) and from what I can tell, that's more the norm for Austin. So that's what the roads, the infrastructure (infrastructure being more than just the physical build) are setup for. Because up north, y'all would be a big ol' struggle bus in the 115'F summers. But Austin is just like whatever, c'mon down to Barton Springs for the day.

The US is a big country. We gotta structure different regionally for whatever that region deals with seasonally.

@Ganymede said in Dating in the 2020's:

@Auspice

I'm so fucking old.

What does "negging" mean? And "demisexual"?

Negging is basically using backhanded 'compliments' to try to manipulate the other person into striving for your approval. 'I'd find you so much hotter if you....'
Like they have that HINT that the person thinks you're attractive, but they're also an insult, while trying to force you to improve yourself for them.

I may have terrible self-esteem, but I'm also a bitch, so they don't work on me.

demisexual means that I don't find someone physically attractive until/unless I have an emotional connection with them. Tho this only goes for men. Women I can find hot and be willing to jump their bones right off the bat.

I get angry a lot when people who have never left the northern half of the country mock the southern half about winter-related delays.

Why does the south shut down when it snows? Not because they're 'pansies,' but because they don't have the infrastructure. If the northern half also lacked the salt trucks, the snow plows, and even the roads that were built to handle the cold (in the south roads are built with hotter tempts in mind, not colder), they'd have a damn hard time, too. Think of all the times it snows suddenly and the roads never got salted (first major accident I was in was driving from Columbus to Cincinnati after just such a snow storm and I hit black ice on I-71 and got hit by an 18-wheeler)? That's the south. Every. single. time. it snows.

It's a big fuckin' pet peeve of mine when people start mocking southern states for 'can't handle the snow.' Yeah well, Sally, that sure is some nice infrastructure you're privileged to have up there handling that snow so you don't have to.

All Tinder, OKCupid, etc do is make me hyper aware of the fact that I'm overweight. I’m not hugely obese and frankly im pretty much average for what we have in the US now but I am fat. But those apps aren't built on personality or interests or hey we both like this band. They're built on looks.

So every time I try, I end up with the same sort of guy messaging me and from a negging angle. 300+lbs, anime or video game obsessed (I have no issue with either but when their profile makes it clear these things are ALL they do...), and with enough hints to make it clear they're likely on 4chan also.

So I'm basically just good enough for the 'Oh hey she's fat so I'll insult her just enough that she'll feel she has no other choice but to date me' crowd.

Someone out there someday might find me attractive again that I'm also interested in. Or be a demisexual like I am. That'd probably be best tbh.

@Wizz said in Dating in the 2020's:

I've gone from being painfully lonely to not really giving a shit.

People kept telling me this is the secret first step to finding someone so...maybe there's hope yet???

¯_(ツ)_/¯

I went from lonely to not giving a shit right back around to lonely.
Those people are liars.

@silverfox said in AI Dungeon:

My female rogue married the princess, but the game wasn't QUITE ready for a female on female relationship. The emits decided I was a dude.

I have to use /remember sometimes to remind it what gender I am.

Dating in my 30s has been nonexistent

True depression eating:
roll out of bed at 1pm, eat a couple slices of cold pizza (and drink water).

A handful of hours later, eat the last of the cold pizza (and drink more water).

The one example of this (shared acct) that I know in my extended family is my uncle. He made one for him and my aunt to engage with his grandkids and ... well he keeps hoping he'll get great-nieces and nephews but there's me and my siblings (and we're all too fucked up to have healthy relationships sorry uncle Doug) and the next oldest set are still teenagers themselves.

Poor guy went hard at grandad mode. He loves being a grandad. He loves having a huge family.

I don't mind it though. He's actually the best relative I have and the first time I got to see him post-divorce and having him open up to me about HIS divorce (which I HAD NEVER KNOWN ABOUT BEFORE I NEVER KNEW HE HAD A WIFE BEFORE MY AUNT HOORAY FAMILY SECRETS) was probably the thing that set me best on my path to healing. He's the family member who has always been the most uplifting, most vocally proud, so y'know what? Get on with your shared-account-grandad-self.
(Both his daughters live in another state and are big instagram users for posting photos of their kids, so I know that's why he did it.)

So, @Ganymede has the right of it. She's alienating him. And it might look right on the outside but...

@Testament you know me.
You also know the marriage I went through.

For the first few years I was 'happy.'
I was also alone.
I was alone because my ex-husband alienated me from everyone that wasn't his friend. And shit, if I became good friends with any of his friends, that got shut down too. Everyone was an asshole or a bitch or he just didn't like them. He'd be shitty to them when we were around them. He'd bad mouth them to me when we weren't. If I saw my friends without him he'd call me nonstop to come home and he missed me and...

It took me years to realize it wasn't healthy. I thought I just had bad taste in friends. I thought he just loved me and spending time with me that much.

I kind of wish someone had sat down with me and said they missed seeing me or they were worried about how he treated me or.... Instead, post-divorce, I got friends back and everyone going 'thank God we were so sick of that guy.'

And I mean. I get it. It's awkward. But at the same time no one was there before we got married and it could've been stopped. No one was there in the years he was doing the most damage. If this girlfriend of your buddy's is isolating him in a similar way? You could be saving him now by sitting him down and going hey, look, I know you like her and I know this is a big deal....but remember that friendships outside of a relationship are important and if she's not letting you have those / is making those difficult, you might want to think about things.

@Rinel

Stress, anxiety, panic, etc. manifest as severe chest pains for me often. The way one doctor described it is I get muscle spasms in my chest right around my heart (which is why I have landed in the ER, blacked out, etc etc etc...). It sucks. Finding the right meds, right balance of 'how do I manage this' - it sucks. Atypical shit sucks. I hope you can figure it out.

Though tearing out 8-10 hours of stitching sucked...... today I finally got past where I'd been and it looks so much better.
I think I'll be done with the fucking castle tomorrow and able to move on. Halle-fuckin-lujah.

If you're someone who likes to regularly remind people that you like to be open about mental health issues and want it to be something people can have a conversation about...

...don't snap at the person who says 'Thank you for the offer, but I'm not able to work a job like that due to my anxiety' when you offer to try to get them a referral somewhere. Esp. not with a 'Well since soandso doesn't appreciate what I'm willing to do for them, is anyone else interested?'

like thanks a million now I've had to mute one of my favorite Discord servers for the day because being chewed out for being unappreciative 'in front of' everyone when I a) thanked you for the offer, b) explained why I can't accept it due to my anxiety (to someone who likes to go on at length about THEIR anxiety) set me off on an anxiety attack.

I'm trying not to judge and maybe they're having a bad day too but sometimes I feel like it's more performative for people like that. Like it's a 'I'm gonna tell everyone all the time about my anxiety except I don't really have it I just want people to think I do so I have an excuse to behave in shitty ways and get away with it' but I know that's just how bad/frustrated I'm feeling right now and maybe we just clashed and muting the server for a day is the best option. Breathing room.

I'll spread your rifts

Do you love text adventures? Of course you do. We wouldn't be here if we didn't.

AI Dungeon is a text adventure generated via AI and it is... fucking... hilarious.

One of the people I interact with on Twitter is Chet Faliszek. He wrote Left4Dead and was a writer on Portal and Half Life. He left Valve a couple years ago to start his own company.

I decided fuck it today and emailed my portfolio to him because why not?

He, at the very least, was kind enough to send me a personalized reply explaining that he appreciated me doing so but he doesn't have a need for any writers right now since he has been building his team for a while. And hey, I didn't expect a miracle but y'know what? I appreciate the personalized, candid response.

stupid tv show making me cry
should be ashamed of itself