Posts made by Cupcake

I never did get my peacock.

Zadkiel n' Umai 4eva (siiiiiigh)

@Auspice Because even Entrapta can acknowledge dem abs.

Even if her thing is pale skinned emo boys. Also, I want to hug Wrong Hordak.

(I made @reimesu watch the first few episodes last night. Now she has a new show to binge!)

@Auspice Sasha Dewahn is so bishounen it hurts.

Yes, there were shades of what a lovely day! in there.

@Auspice Nicholas Hoult took an utterly reprehensible historical character and made me like him.

He has a knack for playing assholes that you end up grudgingly liking (have you seen Skins? Because Skins.)

A lot of my favorites have already been mentioned: zefrank, Jubilee, Linday Ellis, etc.

The Makeup Chair Really excellent makeup tutorials for all levels of experience. Extremely well organized.

Rudy Rochman is a new discovery. He has some fascinating, thoughtful observations about Judaism, Zionism, and the Palestinian conflict. His AIPAC videos are especially worth watching.

The Ask Project Corey Gil Schuster is a North American living in Israel. He invites people to send him questions about Israelis, Palestinians, Judaism, etc, and then goes out and asks locals what their opinions are.

Black Nerd Comedy Reviews and recaps of pop culture. His Cats review is the funniest to date.

@mietze Meds might still help. Your neurochemistry is in overdrive which means it's either not producing/producing too much of what you need, and meds can temporarily assist with that. It's worth asking, and seeing as medications improve on a regular basis, your doctor may have something for you.

Motherland: Fort Salem renewed for season 2.

I once had a particularly hostile work boss tell me that I "made things difficult for myself" like I had some kind of magical way to control my brain chemistry.

@A-B Just chiming in here. I don't think @surreality was being incendiary. I know from her when she's incendiary and that is definitely not it.

But let's talk about what you just posted. What you just did there is leaving the pressure cooker on to explode. Your wiring is telling you that people mean things in the worst possible way, and you have to find the tools to help you determine if that's actually true.

If I can offer a suggestion? Try this. Any time you are in any kind of conversation with someone where you feel like they are being negative toward you and you legitimately aren't sure, or your initial, instant reaction is to extract the worst from what they've said, stop and calmly explain that sometimes you have difficulty processing people's tone, and could they please clarify their intention? If they are in fact hostile they'll make no bones about telling you, but I can promise you, nine out of ten times? They're not. It's a lesson I learned the hard way.

@A-B It's less about you choosing to be frustrated, and more about how you acknowledge your frustration and deal with it. That's not the same as acting out because of it.

I'm only just starting to put this into practice, but the way I imagine it for myself is that it's like a pressure cooker. If I leave the lid on because I don't want anyone to see what's cooking, the pressure cooker is going to explode and nobody is going to be happy. And that's kind of been me since literally my childhood.

I had to learn that it is okay for people to see what's cooking, as long as I gently lift the lid, and understand that not everyone's going to want to smell what the Cupcake is cooking.

And honestly, if I truly feel mired in pettiness, I have people I can talk to, both as friends and as professionals to figure out a better way to deal with that. A support system is absolutely essential.

@Darren Stay safe, man.

@A-B Sorry for the delay in reply. The fact of that particular matter was I did in fact do something toe-steppy, because my anxiety got the better of me, only it turned out that the thing I actually did wasn't what got the other person upset. I thought it was, and so I immediately apologized for what I was able to realize was wrong. Even if I had known then what the problem was, I would have still apologized for taking that action, because I realized in retrospect it wasn't cool.

Am I irritated that I got cut off before I could find out what the actual problem was? Of course. One of my biggest, long standing triggers I've discovered is the feeling I am not being listened to. But I also know that I am not entitled to the other person's explanation or time. So I could choose to seethe, or I can acknowledge or even express my frustration in a healthy way and crack on.

I understand your situation, I really do. There's a point in the particular cocktail of mental health problems where you even think you're objectively viewing your behavior and you're not, and you literally do not understand why you get the kinds of responses from others that you do. It's been happening to me for literally decades.

Then I stopped choosing to be frustrated, and started asking myself why this was happening. I went (and still go to therapy), I do my best to recognize bad patterns, and I know that I will fuck up without meaning to, and understand that I need to acknowledge it when it happens, make amends, and forgive myself when it does. I'm still working on it, I'll always be working on it.

And it's not all universal. In the past year I got page-banned by someone completely out of the blue, without any reason given - and when I tried to figure it out on my own, I wasn't correct, though I still took responsibility for a choice I realized was wrong, and as someone with anxiety, having people freeze you out without knowing why is the worst thing. Funnily enough, the issue was less about me and more about them in the end - I had triggered them in a way I literally had no idea about. But the situation left a bad taste and I couldn't continue on the game because of it.

That said? If staff did their due diligence, they at least took the time to tell you why they made the decision to ban you. They may even have tried to correct your actions prior to banning you and giving you some form of heads up/warning to course correct. And yeah, some staff are just assholes, but that is not often the case, especially now in the later years of mushing for most of us.

The best advice I can give you is to bear in mind that while mushing can be helpful, it doesn't replace therapy or psychiatric care. If you are behaving in a manner that leaves you feeling less in control (and negative experiences can certainly make that spiral hard), best to step away for a while, and talk to someone, preferably an expert, about why things occur for you the way they do. Take responsibility for your choices, acknowledge what leads you down such a path, and make the effort to improve.

BUT HOW DO YOU KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE AETHELS...???

@TNP Yep. She even has a cameo on the show - she's the producer in the audition scene.

Mandy Moore is the choreographer for Zoe and she typically does excellent work, so the awfulness may be1 deliberate.

@Aria said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Testament said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Thinking you've said something wrong to a friend and suddenly they stop responding to you on various messengers and thinking they're mad at you.

When probably they're just busy with their own stuff, like life, work, family, and just because it says their online doesn't actually mean they're free to talk. They're just busy.

You didn't do anything, you're just thinking of reasons why they haven't responded in the last few days and clearly meaning it's your fault. Because isn't it always your fault? That's silly, it's fine.

But...

No, leave it, it's fine. You're fine. Running out of your anti-depressants because of Covid isn't your fault. You're okay. No one is mad at you.

This inner monologue has been my last couple of days. I want it to stop.

If any of this is related to my radio silence this week, it's because @insomniac7809 basically exploded one of his eyeballs (again) and had to have urgent surgery to fix it (again). I've spent the week driving his ass around to doctors and pharmacies while also still trying to work as much of a full work-week as I can, getting back on my own meds that got messed up, and having a minor meltdown because an unmasked delivery driver breathed, like, right on my face.

I am not mad at you. Or anyone. Just....

Best. Yartzeit Candle. EVER.

@surreality Having finished it recently, I was absurdly proud of Daniel Sharman, regarding his transition from teen heartthrob type to SRS BRTSH ACT-OR. I mean, I'm not his family or anything, but as someone who appreciates the craft of acting, I was so happy to see him graduate into such a meaty role.

Ugh, the more I watch Motherland: Fort Salem the more I wish it was a viable universe to rp in, but I don't see how it would work. I'm sure system mechanics could be found, but I don't think there would be so many people interested in the theme.

@Coin: I was okay for most of the Zoe finale except for the Billy Joel song and then it was onions, onions everywhere.