Had a thought today.
If I were still MUing, right now, I would be tempted to make a series of Vin Diesel PB'd characters, but with very non-Diesel jobs (like: WAFFLE CHEF or BARISTA) who speaks entirely in hardcore xXx/Riddickisms
Example:
"Hey there tough guy. Look at those arms! I bet you're one of those coffee-all-black kinda guys."
"No, I take mine with espresso and sugar."
"OHHHHH you're a sweet kinda g-"
"-cuz when you slow down...you die."
OR...
"Holy shit! How crazy was that?!?!? Your robot buddy just saved our lives!!!"
"He wasn't my robot buddy."
"Seriously? It just sacrificed itself. I'm sure that deserves at least a little-"
"That robot was my brother."
"Brother? Maybe that's a stretch."
BARISTA DEREK GRAVES RELEASES A DOVE INTO THE SKY. HE KISSES HIS FINGERS AND POINTS SKYWARD.
"Warm the battlefield for me, brother. Backup's on its way."
Edit. Added dialogue ideas...
- "This waffle's like me...forged in iron."
- "One time I got an Amazon delivery. God laughed at me and didn't send me one I could fight to the death beside."
- "Dentist said that blood I taste is from an infection. He's wrong. All I can ever taste is blood."
- "Man is cruel and treacherous. That's why my only friends are corgis."