@Pandora said in Personal Agency for Personal Boundaries:
I am open to all opinions here, whether in favor or wildly against. I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do, I'm asking what can we do & offering my 2 cents toward a potential solution to a problem that is not going to go away by doing absolutely nothing different and continuing to say 'People, just be better.'
Took some time to think about this. Spoilers, I'm gonna dig a little here.
So, (rhetorical) why do people try to force others into scenes they're not comfortable with via IC justification? We RARELY hear of a player calling "FTB" or a hard stop in, say, a coffee scene. It's usually involving sex, relationship, torture, rape, or potential PK. No one asks to FTB a house painting scene...unless it turns to one of those topics.
So, my first thought is that this topic is about entitlement. Players feel entitled to certain scenes or the right to roleplay specific concepts, and the worst players feel that other players shouldn't "pussy out" of that stuff. However, there are so many players who falsely throw these flags like harassment, consent, etc around in non-emergency situations (or to get revenge) that players oddly rush to err on the side of caution to implement something to protect players.
"We want people to not be harassed, forced into sexual situations, or to be preyed upon but there's nothing we can do about it because people will misuse the reporting system for their loopy bullshit."
And maybe a bit of...
"I dont want to be made to feel uncomfortable and want the ability to opt out of anything I don't want, but I dont want anyone to opt out of things I want."
Fairness? The people who are cool, and truly cool, are always very okay with FTB on any front and don't blacklist a player for asking for it. In theory any system that supports this and has a "omg staff help" alarm button SHOULD be no issue whatsoever to the people who aren't assholes. Everyone knows that some(most?) players come to this hobby to fulfill fantasies related to sex, relationship, rape, power, being wanted, etc. Theres simply more at play here than "it's just a scene" due to the hardcore focus on OOC personas, "bad actors", etc but there's very little assumption of trust that so many people are constantly at DEFCON 2.
So, in short? I support an XCard/RedYellowGreen system and think if people you want it? FUCKING IMPLEMENT IT. It will likely protect more than it harms, and if players abuse it because they're unethical, then they can get bounced from games just like the players who try to coerce other players into partaking in their power scene. People are always going on about how X player is horrible and Y player "blows up on them OOCly for not doing what they want" that maybe the right answer is to not choose what the paranoid/drama-filled corner of the community thinks about it (because this has been the state of the hobby for over 20 years and it'll just be argued for 20 more; nothing changes until someone takes a step), and just follow your heart, your good intention, and make a commitment to being fair as staff when it's used.
Just do it. A tool to protect people from unethical behavior is better than most places have in place.