Best posts made by Kestrel

When you help a confused newbie get settled into a game, and then a few weeks later see them helping a different confused newbie get settled in, resolving the exact same obstacle you helped them past.

I'm like a proud mama.

Killing Eve is the female-driven serial-killer show I never knew I wanted.

I never knew how badly these things were missing from my life. Do I sound like a crazy feminist? That's OK. I feel like I'm tasting fresh fruit for the first time in my life when all I've had before was fruit-flavoured wine-gums.

I feel a bit guilty reducing this wonderful show to just the female factor but honestly I think the way this feels so novel is a testament to how rare it actually is on telly, even today. Finally a show about women that isn't just about 'women's issues' like boyfriends and fashion and gossip and dating and weddings or even more grave topics like rape and breaking the glass ceiling. Like don't get me wrong, there's a time and place for that too, it's just so refreshing to for a change see such diverse female representation all in one show where no character is defined merely by being female; there is no 'token female character' because over half the cast is female and each is depicted as an actual person with individual mindsets and motivations. Hallefreakinglujah.

Beyond that, I will admit my tastes have ventured darker of late, and so often when you go 'dark' you go 'male', in fiction. It's the association of aggression/violence/grit and even more positive traits, like intelligence — this is a noir, of course there's a scatterbrained yet brilliant detective — with masculinity. How refreshing for this not to be the case.

@Monogram said in The 100: The Mush:

@Cupcake said in The 100: The Mush:
Even if I played a character that was like that(and to some extent, my character is)/I/, being me the player, wouldn't allow my character to go in that direction because when it comes to what I want as a player, I'm willing to sacrafice that desire as a player to make sure that the game keeps operating smoothly and everyone is integrated in what plot development or RP that's out there. Splitting up limits this, regardless of the IC justifications for it. It's small price to pay. For me, at least.

Why are you assuming, if you are assuming, that this is what anti-Ark players actually OOCly intend? (And @Cupcake for that matter.)

Also, hi, @Ghost. (And @Kanye-Qwest.) Since you asked: I'm the one who downvoted that post about how staff should encourage splinter-factions. I think it's a terrible idea that will do the game no good, for all the reasons @Monogram and @GirlCalledBlu stated.

I want to say that I play one of the three most vocal Rebel characters in-game. She's frequently made her anti-Ark stance clear, and has voiced support both privately and publicly for the idea of a splinter-faction that will go off and do their own thing. Despite this, let me make it clear that I have no intention of actually doing so, OOC.

And here's the rub, and is what really grates my cheese the most about this thread. IC conflict is important. It provides challenges and obstacles for characters (and their society as a whole) to deal with. It provides opportunities for character growth. When my character ends up doing something nice, changing her mind about something or slowly warming up to people, I like to think that they find it surprising, refreshing and rewarding, but they wouldn't get that if she was nice all the time. But instead of dealing with these things IC — or just ignoring it and finding someone else to play with, YMMV — people insist on taking it OOC and making it a big issue where it actually might not be. This is exactly what is meant by WrongFun attitude. Moreover, we are burning bridges before they have been crossed through fear-mongering. No one has actually tried to seriously PvP anyone, even if they've said 'I will cut you, bro.' No one has actually tried to go off to form a splinter-faction and divide the playerbase. These players are standing right in front of you, willing to engage. It is your choice not to engage them because you're nervous about imagined OOC intentions. When shit actually hits the fan? Panic then rather than flinging shit at it yourself.

There has been more antagonism in this thread than I have experienced in-game. I do not find a character falsely accusing mine of murder and trying to sic a mob-justice execution on her OOCly stressful. That was some of the most fun I've had in game. I am not even stressed that my character recently cracked her skull. But this attitude, these tea-cup storms, this drama — legitimately, so far, this has been the only thing about this game that has made me want to quit, along with a few conversations in pages about the subject by people who insist on foreseeing doom and gloom. A lot of the posters in this thread are being plain nasty. I doubt some are more than trolls sour over whatever happened over in 5W, a game I did not play. I respect your right to feel the things you're feeling and voice your criticisms of the game, but less so when you use your personal preferences as an excuse to lambast those who differ and are having fun.

To those of you who think I'm an arsehole for the fact that I enjoy playing an antagonist who starts IC conflict, I say this: I think you're arseholes for your snap-judgements and needless OOC aggression towards players and dedicated staff who do their very best to try and make everyone happy providing this kind of fun for others, in their spare time. We're even. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Original settings. I'm willing to play something rooted in fanfiction here and there, but that requires me to:

• Really, really like the setting.
• Actually know the setting, or I'll probably skip your game entirely.
• Think that setting would make for a good game; many of them don't. I love Firefly for example, but I don't think setting a game in the Firefly universe would accomplish anything that you couldn't do better with any other run-of-the-mill custom sci-fi setting. It's the characters that make that setting special, which is how I feel that way about most media that tends to get fanfictionalised into a game.

In particular I'd like more sci-fi games. I think there are already more than enough WoD / supernatural horror games out there, enough superhero games and enough L&L games. These areas aren't lacking, although I second @thesuntsar that I would be more likely to consider a supernatural horror game that eschewed the usual teen/college drama cliches and maybe wasn't set in a small town in America. Go big. Go Noir. Like London, New York, or some other familiar, dusky urban playground. As a bonus, the first two have a literal underground/subway which can make for a pretty neat setting.

If you opt for London, it doesn't have to be Victorian London. I would personally prefer it wasn't, because I feel like people tend to confuse all things English with all things old and stuffy. U guise, there is more to British culture than monocles and tweed. (I'll make an exception for Steampunk settings.)

Cyberpunk.

Sci-fi.

Spy-fi. (Easily combined with Noir.)

If anyone can recommend a good Noir setting, by the by, you can have a kidney of your choice.

@GreenFlashlight said in Separating Art From Artist:

Oh, and as a random aside because I only just figured out why this has been bothering me: you ever notice how "Oh, he's just a product of his time, you can't blame him for his beliefs" only ever applies to white people? Black people in the 1930s were not confused about whether they were subhuman, nor were Jewish people. It's not the time an artist is a product of; it's a culture, and the culture is not a monolith.

I wonder if that's why people say "a product of his time." It feels like a deliberate attempt to uphold the power structures that existed and still exist.

I think "product of his time" is a valid point but it depends on the context.

I felt annoyed by the notion that Lovecraft was a product of his time, because he just wasn't. He was so much worse. In his case it's not so much that it's not an excuse, it's also untrue, and I feel calling him that serves to minimise his racism. It's the kind of thing that happens a lot these days when people talk about other events that took place during that exact same era, which he endorsed. And I have a personal axe to grind with that.

But then, what about Tolkien? Was he a misogynist? There aren't a lot of female characters in his books, and most of them are all described in the same dreary, ornamental way, willowy figures with long blonde/black hair (I guess he didn't like redheads or brunettes) who prance about looking pretty. Diehard fans even get annoyed when new female roles are created in his works' adaptations (Tauriel), or when existing female roles are expanded (Arwen).

But I think it is fair to say that he was a product of his time, because women really didn't exist in combat roles back then, were almost never educated, and his experiences were shaped by war/academia. This is different from how Lovecraft lived in a progressively multicultural world and had a bone to pick with it. Wildly different.

Tolkien also furthered antisemitic tropes through his gold-grubbing dwarves, but I'm personally able to forgive him for that because I don't believe his intentions were sincerely malicious. I don't speak for all Jews, obviously, but I also don't actually know any who dislike Tolkien on grounds of antisemitism, and I grew up in Israel, where his books are wildly popular, and his books had my family's and all my friends' families' stamps of approval. YMMV. I arrived at my conclusion about his intentions based on reading letters he wrote to people about Jews and his dwarves, and it seems to me he meant to honour a people he respected, albeit poorly understood and had scarcely met; he just did it in a way that was very clumsy. But there is a difference between ignorance and wilful ignorance. For my part, I do value intent.

Lovecraft's letters detailing his intense hatred of the Jews paint a very, very different picture.

Slap me, I've never seen so much semantic furore over the particular arrangement of 5-10 words before.

Can we agree that he's an arsehole and move the fuck along?

"I tried out a few alts before settling on Redacted; mainly because Kestrel's enthusiasm was infectious."

God damn if that isn't the nicest fucking thing I've heard all day. I built a group thing and people like it. I made this person happy and gave them a story to play with. Moments like this make all the crap and drama and stress worth it.

@Aria said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

White People Problems: Bitching about the price of hummus.

....But I am also legitimately annoyed at the price of hummus. A single 8 oz tub is $4.89? WTF?!

Hummus recipe:
buy can of chickpeas
drain can of chickpeas
pour drained can of chickpeas in blender
blitz

cheaper, tastier, healthier, fresher hummus.

Squeeze lemon and add tahini/salt/garlic if desired.

— your friendly neighbourhood Israeli

More love! I'm in a loving mood I guess.

Confession: I love creeping people out (IC, in non Weinstein ways).

I had a scene recently where my plutocratic character invited a SJW-type character to dinner, to discuss business. (Non romantic.) The latter chose the place — a high-end establishment. Upon sitting down my character proceeded to gossip and smirk about how the wine list leaves much to be desired, and then I had her summon the waiter to insist that they'd like to order something off the menu, using her reputation and position of power to justify it.

I love getting a certain reaction out of people, when it's entirely intentional, of 'Wow your character is awful'. Like yes, thank you and well done for noticing she's awful! That's intentional! I'm glad I could be of service in making your skin crawl at the existence of these types of people.

This is a quirk, right? Am I weird for getting a kick out of this?

Looking back on an old character's notes three years later and laughing because of how redonkulous some of them seem today.

2016: this sweet innocent character likes to volunteer at homeless shelters and help the helpless and is trying to be a better person

[ several traumas and bad influences later ]

2019: i eat people

The greatest putdown I have heard lately, said to a guy who was trying to mansplain to a woman (totally unsolicited) why her colourful, artsy long nails are impractical and anti-feminst.

'You are flat white, double espresso woke'

Things I like about this game:

• Historical/political setting that feels relevant today (I wonder if I'm alone in this being a major draw?)
• Plenty of action/adventure and actual stuff happening to go around for those of us who get kind of bored with just social stuff
• Laid-back staff who let people do what they want most of the time and only get involved either when mediation is necessary, or to help nudge along some plot without actually dominating
• Electro-swing!!
• Jazz!
• Flappers!
• Ritzy hairdos!
• Alternate timeline without sexism/homophobia (or racism on the ship at least)

I admittedly don't really care about the magic/dragon stuff, but it's cool if you're into that.

@Jennkryst

I know this is the Gallows Humor thread and that meme is a good one, but also ugh, it makes me legit MAD that some scare-mongering racists and idiots actually believe this stuff.

I've been thinking lately about the value of escapism, and hear me out — I think it's a good thing.

I know a lot of people look down on this aspect of RP and feel ashamed of it. But I think that sometimes if I spend too much time in my head, I'm prone to suffering from all kinds of anxieties, becoming self-absorbed, and that this is a perfectly normal, unhealthy aspect of being human. I'm only thinking about my own problems and becoming increasingly stressed by them because I just can't escape them.

When I RP, it doesn't feel like I'm in my own head. It feels instead like I'm in someone else's head & shoes. I gain distance from myself, from my petty real life problems, and often consequently, I gain perspective.

Honestly I had a shitty day. The why does not matter. If I spelled it out here I'd probably get laughed at because the thing that ruined my day was so unbelievably stupid. I rationally know I shouldn't be as upset about it as I am, but feels are a different story.

But then I logged on, RPed a bit, took measures to extricate myself from the real life situation that bothered me, and now I feel better. Not having to think about it, or about me, just for a bit — a little break from myself — helped. I can now go back to that thing and see it clearly for the irrational nonsense that it was.

Sometimes short doses of escapism can be good for mental health.

@JinShei said in A bit of trouble on Firefly:

@Scissors said in A bit of trouble on Firefly:

It's morbidly fascinating to read about this sort of behavior. The fact that when this guy's loudly blaming people for not having "adult conversations" with him, there is a complete and utter lack of self-awareness of the irony. I mean, even a dog will recognize its own reflection after looking into a mirror enough times.

Can people really be this blind to their own faults? Sometimes I think it is by choice.

I don't think this person lacks self-awareness. I don't think he's blind to his own faults.

I think he knows exactly what he's doing and is being purposefully manipulative by accusing others of faults he knows they might care about, but that he personally doesn't. He's playing gotcha. Can't accuse people of being immature if you can't conduct yourself maturely, now can you? Don't lose face. Stay dignified. Be tolerant. Even as I behave in a manner that is undignified, intolerant and inconsiderate towards you. Gotta prove you're better than me! Otherwise we're the same, you and I; don't stoop to my level.

It's just another variation of the ol' 'so much for the tolerant left'.

I definitely got this. He gotcha'd so gleefully that as soon as I banned him he ran to discord channels with the log claiming he caught an Admin treating him badly because I called him on his shit. I was grateful for both channels owner's disinterest or rejection of his bullshit.

For me, the tipoff in my brief communication with him was this bolded part:

<PM> (to Aksel) Rosa (Romeo) says, "Hey. I wasn't sure how to approach this the other day but truthfully I wasn't comfortable with the last scene I had with you and don't think we would mesh. Your character seems very macho/aggressive and sexually forward. I'm not really into that and would prefer to avoid in future."

<PM> (to Rosa) Aksel blinks slowly, "Um, Okay. I will go ahead and leave you alone and avoid any scenes that you have signed up for in that case. My apologies for Aksel trying to be playful back with Pippin and the like after the joke that had been made. Or will find another game so you are comfortable.

My ex used to threaten suicide any time I tried to leave the relationship, any time I tried to refuse him sexually. He would make it sound like this was something I wanted, that I had asked for, when in actuality all I had said was no to a specific thing. It was done to guilt me, make me feel bad about wanting to police my own comfort levels. And suddenly in a communication where I had said something like, 'this hurt me' or 'I didn't like that', I was the bad guy, for making him feel bad about doing something bad.

Further then twisted as:

<RP Requests> Aksel would come to rp but has been informed that his character is essentially just a muscle bound asshole who makes people feel uncomfortable and that my rp style is just shit. So...

<RP Requests> Sam says, "From what he told me, he got a page--didn't say from who--denigrating his character, his RP style, and generally being very unpleasant."

Not what I said, and I wasn't even in the scene he was being invited to.

I also don't buy the innocent "blinks slowly" reaction he gave when I said his behaviour had made me uncomfortable. Looking at this thread, I know I'm not the first person to have ever said something like this to him. It's simply impossible to believe that after however many incidents of him behaving this way and having it pointed out to him, he remains oblivious.

He essentially did a mini-version of what he threatened to do to Firefly; instead of calling me out on MSB, he called me out in the public chat. And his PM communications with various game owners make explicit that this behaviour pattern of his is a calculated tactic he knows to be effective enough to use as a threat, smugly, not simply as an emotional outburst of someone genuinely hurt.

QED: I don't believe his bullshit.

I do feel sympathy for him though. It must be hella sad to go through life not being able to have any kind of meaningful relationship.

I love my silly stupid dog. She is my first dog. I never knew just how much joy a dog could bring to my life until now. I feel like I have joined a top secret exclusive club because surely if everyone knew how awesome dogs are then everyone would have one?

I still love cats just as much for different reasons, but this dog has brought more positive change to my life than any medication I've ever been on.

Role-reversal Lords & Ladies BDSM post-peasant-uprising.

Revolutionary financial dominatrix spanks the feudalism out of nobles.

@Vixanic sorry for the maaassive wall of text though it probably isn't that hard to get through if you're just starting on Elvanse, lol.

One final recommendation: I found it difficult to get enough calories, maintain a balanced diet and remember to eat in general while taking Elvanse. Since as mentioned this kinda fucked up my body, I realised I needed a serious solution for this and did actually find one.

Huel works really well for me, it's quick, convenient and very easy to keep track of for calorie/portion control purposes. I've personally seen a lot of health benefits from having this on hand alongside my ADHD medication. I'm not affiliated with the company in any way. (I can pass on a discount/referral code but swear that's not why I recommend it.)

I also got some blood tests through private referral to ensure there weren't nutritional factors in my inability to concentrate etc. and recommend that if you fall into the trap of forgetting to eat or something. (Did have a couple deficiencies for a bit and addressing them did help.)