@testament And that's kind of the point, indeed. We can feel sorry for someone and agree that their situation is shit, but that still doesn't mean they get to assign us to mop and bucket duty.
Ugh, this is such a big deal in the chronic illness communities I'm in. People who play I Am More Sick Than You and assume that everyone who might be not quite as miserable -- or whom they believe are not as miserable -- are always available to clean up, to offer a shoulder, to give them anything they want. Because they're sicker than you, yo.
It doesn't work like that. If anything, distress makes people show their true colours.