Best posts made by mietze

I'm not sure one can point to many points in history where there were not bad consequences for writers who wrote against the prevailing norms or offended the powers that be. Sure in some cases things changed over time but rarely to save the writer. I'm not going to say that death, torture, mutilation, or imprisonment is always worse than online harassment or people calling you names and not wanting to associate with you--im sure for some people the pain of being told that another person thinks they're wrong or racist or whatever is acutely painful, and if hundreds plus people are doing it at the same time along with threats that it can be harrowing and very intense pain. Especially when often innocent people in your life are roped in (though that too is "historically accurate").

But I do have to shake my head at the notion that creativity is more stifled today than in the past. With the increase of diversity and also more ways for people to get unedited or reviewed stuff out there for consumption it seems like there's more avenues for you to get your thoughts and ideas and writing projected out than ever before.

Maybe not by the places you most crave or tp tbe accolades you wish, and not quite as much to tbe detriment of ideas/people you don't like, but.

Crockpot congee

My kids eat this for breakfast or request as often as chicken soup or matzo balls when sick.

Put 1 cup rinsed short grain rice (sushi rice works well) in large crockpot, add 1t of neutral flavored oil and toss to coat grains. Add 10 cups of your favorite broth. Cook 8 hours or overnight on low. Before serving stir, bump up to high and cook for 30 mins, salt to taste.

I usually have a variety of stuff prepped sp that people and top their bowls as they please. Our family favorites: chopped leftover meat, sliced green onions, fresh herbs, hardboiled egg, drizzle of sesame oil/sriracha/soy sauce, shredded carrots, fried onions, bacon. I often crack an uncooked egg in mine if it is piping hot.

@pyrephox It also relied heavily on staff intervention, mediation, and quality control. As soon as that was replaced by staff who were not as invested in ooc quality control as far as channeling players' learned and natural tendencies into more constructive pvp it devolved very quickly.

Maybe it's just from being raise with a grade A narcissist, but I think a lot of people can convince themselves into total belief that they are 100 percent wronged/the victim even if they were the abusive one/instigator. It isn't an act at all, they totally believe it and when it is pointed out well that's just yet another person who is horrible or doesn't understand. It is very difficult to deal with and most of the time not worth the bother.

And yeah, definitely have been there with just not logging in very often when I heard people complaining about idleness.

To me, it feels super demanding to have someone criticize people for being idle off grid/in private areas. What does it matter? Maybe just do a +where if the game only supports people in public rooms and stop typing WHO. The thing is, especially these days, it's never not going to be awkward to be the one asking for play or sitting in public. Yes, it would be super nice if when you logged in you saw a selection of people in multiple places that you could choose between, wouldn't that be nice? But I think most game cultures by and large (Arx is an exception there but it's still no guarantee) don't have people sitting public most of the time anymore. So if you want to see people sitting in public you have to do it. Or you might have to be the weirdo to page people and say "Hey, wanna play? I have an idea and a place, if you're interested in meeting up." People will say no a lot, but I mean it's not like you're getting to RP if nobody is in public and asking either?

And yes, I'm aware, somebody has to do it. I just think it's good to keep in mind it can tend to be the same sombodies asking for RP or setting it up, and when that is unacknowledged/unreciprocated/if they don't initiate then there tends to be silence, while in most cases it's probably not personal (though sure some of the time it will be, nobody is everybody's cup of tea), it can still feel kind of lonely. So I think it helps if people do try to step out of their comfort zones just as much as they complain about nobody else doing so.

As far as staff action/encouragement, though--I really can't think of much except for staff STs running stories/plots/scenes. Most incentives get exploited for as long as they last, but I don't think that makes people stay out in public more after that fades (despite the noble intention). I think eliminating ooc areas/private areas just means people won't log in at all, which I guess would reduce annoyance factor for some people but still won't mean more RP is had by those that are there (especially if it requires initiative/people asking). I do think keeping numbers low enough for personal attention helps as well, but that's hard to manage long term especially on a public game. I think it's as much if not more important to have buy in from the players than direction by staff, esp. long term.

You do not have to be an activist per se to be on the receiving end of doxing and harassment, unless you count anyone who has ever given public testimony before the legislature, school board, or other body about a subject or who speaks out against troubling activity an activist.

I guess you could in one sense but to me that is somewhat disrespectful of what people who do campaigning and coordination as well as more disruptive forms of activism and advocacy actually do.

And yet, people absolutely will stalk and harass you for giving public commentary at meetings of government bodies. For me that is more personally frightening than the FB trolls because it's people who are definitely in your community.

And people within groups often eviscerate each other. The worst case of harassing grossness that my kid has faced was from a couple of people in a trans support group who decided he was transphobic because he disagreed with them about whether or not everyonr should immediately cut someone out of their life for using their dead name. Not that he disagreed that no one should, just that he personally did not always. That lead to a short time of intense threats (including rape and death threats) and a longer period of online harassment. He and I have both faced harassment and face to face name calling because of our public advocacy in the school district, but nothing that intense (I think because unlike online stuff where you don't have the identity or real location of the person doing the harassment, police will take seriously a member of their community texting death and rape threats to a minor, and people k know it.)

The most death and rape threats I have personally received came from my efforts (combined with others) from within a political party to remove from their position and toss out a long standing and popular political organizer who liked to rape young women at after hours events after getting them alcohol. We succeeded after a very ugly fight--he is out as are a few other people who had been doing other gross stuff that did not involve assault for years, and put an end to the good old boys party culture at state events. But not without a lot of really horrible pushback and personal attacks. Especially since as an elected party official your personal info is usually public information so. It was really intense.

In all cases did I or my kid "deserved" this, I suppose so. We did after all speak up, publicly even if it wasnt rah rah rally activism. I have done that to and while I am mindful of police violence potential as well as crowd danger, to be honest I feel safer doing demonstrations than I have putting my words on record. It is just kind of the price of active citizenship. For every person regardless of political view that speaks in a public and on record fashion theres going to be a ton that will really go after you where they think nobody can see.

This happens to people who write and produce art that touches on any kind of social issue, regardless of side, and due to biases and other long standing things as far as publishing industry and other corporate oversight I'm unconvinced that the majority of people who are left out in the cold are people who dont have "snowflake" sensibilities. Pretty sure there is much more suppression and lack of support for "nontraditional" authors and artists. I just think maybe there isn't as much, so that paltry change feels like a groundswell towards people who feel threatened by it.

That's a human nature thing, though.

I think its just getting used to a change. Like I enjoyed the screen scroll beautifully written descs and elaborate wardrobe codes, but I think things have evolved. I was suspicious of wikis too at first but now I'm glad for the most part they're standard. IME a short description or even a link isn't a predictor of rp style either for better or worse.

So I'm less likely to be judgey over that and perhaps a little more over people like not acknowledging anyone else in the room, ooc behavior (like complaining how useless the event/scene is even though they're there), ect.

Be pleasant ooc, willing to engage, ect and im happy to deal with typos, slowness, and different approaches to descing if the rp is decent! And I will prefer those to an elaborate desc and perfect wiki but a rude, snobby, or totally unwilling to engage person!

TFW you are on a work webex call and it is annoyingly set to a scroll through video display of people on the call and of course your camera pops up just as you inhale rather than drink your water so everyone is treated to you spewing water like a whale coming up for air. Real classy! At least the Big Boss wasn't on this one. And it was on mute. Guess it is going to continue to be a day.

First I try to read the room if I am joining a scene in progress Are people RPing actively? Perhaps it isn't the time then to run in and flip tables or be disruptive in the scene bc I think it seems a little boring.

Second, I try to play off what other folks there are doing in a way that doesn't mean they have to go out of their way to interact with me. Paying attention to other people's poses seems to be a shock to many people and I tend to get positive results from it.

Third, making sure I have realistic expectations ooc. If I'm having a down day or feeling strongly like no one will like my RP or I would be super disappointed if nothing clicked then for me personally that is a day usually when I will /not/ go out to trawl for random RP. If I am super grumpy and am going to be very annoyed at grammatical errors or people not always reading my poses thoroughly (and I'm not in the mood to find the humor in it) then that also probably isn't a great day to go rando just because I am not in a space to enjoy things and people in a less controlled/known environment and that's not really fair to anyone and is setting me up to feel aggravated.

If there's no scenes in progress and I am soliciting for new RP then I try to have a couple of scenarios and places to suggest specifically to folks on the seeking RP channel or when/if they respond to a page. That way I can pick stuff I enjoy! If it is a blue moon and the other person has ideas at the ready that is honestly so rare that it is a treat!

And importantly to either type of social rp, I always have an exit plan oocly. How long I will stay to give things a chance to spark. How I will jump out or hopefully end something in a graceful and positive way once things have run their course.

I find ending scenes gracefully to be the hardest and something I'm working on.

But honestly, the single best predictor of being able to have fun and enjoy scenes for me personally is being sure to manage my expectations, make sure that I'm in a good place to /be/ a good RP partner, and to try to have a list of ideas/things I can springboard off of that are interesting and fun for me to play as well as things that can be incorporated into existing scenes without being overly disruptive (though sometimes people will give the go ahead to shake things up, which can be fun too, I've learned to be careful about doing that as an introduction.)

As I have said for years, people who truly believe that MSB is the worst of humanity/interpersonal interaction bluntly really have probably never belonged to a PTA, volunteer org, or any other organized social group with at least some assets and that isn't totally tied up as an already-friends group.

MSB is fucking tame.

Doesnt mean it doesnt hurt or break my heart now and then, but.

In my experience the problems start to happen when the only make your own fun on a game ends up pretty much being horrible/blocking to other players, or being kind of mean oocly (ooc criticism of player run things instead of just not participating and letting others enjoy it, ect.)

I have noticed am explosion of this even on mostly PvE games when there is a perception or a reality that in general access to story advancement (either metaplot or player run things that require approval/assistance) is extremely limited or closed for a really long time--almost inevitably at some point people will start to pick at each other out of frustration/boredom and frankly create antagonists where there aren't or where they haven't been active.

I think if you are wanting antagonist factions on a game (by that I mean oppositional to each other NOT good guys/bad guys) that really needs an involved and active staff because you will have even less of a grace period than you do with a PvE game.

Antagonist factions will scapegoat each other over ooc frustration/FOMO/perception of the other side getting "more" attention when everyone is on a starvation diet.

I know 4 people now who are quarantined due to exposure to a confirmed case (not all the same ones), including one of the first responders. Almost all the deaths have occured at the hospital where my kids were born and is less than a 10 minute drive from me unless there is super shitty traffic.

It is a surreal experience to walk around and see shelves empty. I mean I do find the TP and hand sanitizer and fresh food shortages kind of funny, but it is disturbing when you see things bare. (I now go early AM if I need to because things look more normal as night stockers are putting the store back together.) I do not really have the option to bury my head in a blanket and not speak to my kids about social distancing because they already know that fbe district is prepping for this. (And this will be a disruption. My senior doesn't care about my elementary kiddo is oblivious, but my juniors do.) Neither hubby nor myself are in the lowest risk categories, and it's not like the kids arent talking about it, so I have adapted my usual pantry (we always try to keep at least 2 months of non perishables because earthquakes/windstorms) to include easy to prep meals in case they need to take care of little one plus us if we parents get very ill--and this was their idea.

I understand why people are making fun of things, I think it's a normal human response, ect. I do wish people had a little more consideration about when/where because really you dont know who lives with an elderly/frail/immunocompromised/high risk category person.

Oh and by the way, some of the new cases of people needing to be hospitalized for their infection now include 2 people in their 20s.

I mean we know its been in my community for probably a month and a half plus, so that means we as a community are prepping for an influx of symptomatic folks as well as people who need hospitalization. While theres also a huge influenza A outbreak locally that has hospitalized people, and triggered other's asthma, including my youngest, who was almost hospitalized for that not long ago.

It does not do any good to panic, but I hope people also understand why some of the "cheer up, it only kills people who are old and already sick" can be a little irritating as well. Mostly because that's actually not true even now, we do not really know how things will shift in the future, it doesn't help kids much if they are stuck at home effectively alone as their older parents or caregiver grandma is seriously ill, and a significantly higher portion of people need significant treatment for the pneumonia that develops even if they do not die--and we all know how lovely that giant ass medical and hospital bill is going to affect those folks.

I have a very eclectic group of RL friends. I am a social person with a lot of different interests though. My long term friendships tend to be largely chemistry based. There are a couple of people I am still close to that I met at a group for expectant moms when I was pregnant with my first born. A couple of people from my older kids' elementary PTA days. A couple of friends from the 2 different church type orgs I've been a member of in the past 20 years. 1 person I'm close with whose kid went to preschool with my youngest. A handful of friends from my political life, almost evenly divided amongst activists and party people. A handful of friends from mushing. 1 friend from my volunteering with horse rescue org. 2 older ladies (in their 80s) that i got to know from the Y (but haven't met up with since the pandemic) And 2 from my days as a survivalist/homesteading hobbyist.

The vast majority of these folks probably would get on well at a BBQ i hosted despite being very diverse in backgrounds, beliefs, and appearances.

I have a lot of long distance friends but a local friend network also that I feel fortunate about.

Until the pandemic I think that it helps that I'm someone who likes to invite people to go do things or come over (and won't be offended if its only accepted once in awhile) and I don't think I'm a terribly needy RL friend either most of the time. If I enjoy a person's company then I'm happy to be around them on their schedule.

@Warma-Sheen in our district yes. There are many many hours being put into it.

Our district is still serving lunch and breakfast to all who place orders and delivering to about 12 different schools for pickup. They are also delivering to families that are homebound. They are trying to help with childcare but still stay in the guidelines that the state has mandated. They are trying to find ways to serve special needs students as well though that equity issue is very hard and that is not going as well. Every student who needed one has had a device (tablet) delivered or made available for pickup along with hotspots for those families who do not have home internet access.

They are working their asses off. It has been a huge hurdle that was incompletely leapt and we are one of the wealthier districts in the area.

But there is a lot going on in this area beyond schools. This week my kids basically had all day school at home (not sustainable and probably 3-4 times the amount of outside time for teacher prep than normal, and now ALL schools in our county are closed by state mandate so that's even less sustainable for the teachers).

But yes, in our district and state SDs have been instructed to keep meal service at least for free and reduced lunch kiddos going (I worry for less resources districts as to how they'll be able to deliver).

Yep, as much as I find unrealistic stuff on games amusing for the most part I frankly am fine with it and I'm fine with being annoyed at things that bug me.

After all, if I wanted to RP reality, I'd have to RP a fat middle aged person with no big accomplishments to her name and that doesn't sound like fun really (even though I'm fine with my RL too and would not want to actually have to do most of the things my PCs have either).

Couldn't catch it fast enough to screenshot, but my god the true spirit of AMERICA is flowing freely in the comments section of my governor's press conference today (announcing that all WA state K12 schools will be closed through end of the year, except for online distance learning).

My favorite comment from the peanut gallery on FB: "Did you know that the British president Boris Yeltsin has coronavirus now?"

My god if that is not stereotypically American now...

Like, I like interacting with and being impacted by the game/larger storylines. But having that space in game to have a cordial relationship ooc (which ime tends to mean richer/more risky storytelling because of the ability to communicate and the respect) is just really lovely when it happens.

The May the 4th hot dogs wrapped in crescent dough that I made with the 6 year old looked like either uncut penises OR the full package depending on what angle you were looking at, but the fam wolfed them down anyway. We also yoda in a blender (homemade green mint chocolate chip milkshakes)

@testament Time to break out the 50 somethings! Though honestly, one of my favorite PCs for their rich background that made her a delight to play was one I made for Arx that was in her late 60s (the age on cg maxes out at 65 but obvs you can be older). I wish I'd had more time with her (and sometimes think about bringing her back) just because it was nice to see people relax OOCly around that play. It did not have to be fraught with horndogging. Now that I've ventured into playing younger PCs mixed in, since our community has aged RL, I'm finding they also don't get hit on either in an older-skewed setting, which can be pretty nice to have people be more judicious about rushing that sort of play. Judging from logs the bedhopping/chasing here and there seems to center on whatever the dominant age is (even if it's 30s). Which while annoying if one doesn't want to be approached for romantic RP, is also somewhat cheering as well. It's not like only teens and 20somethings have sex, so it's nice to see some diversity in romantic rp too.

Hearing my 6 year old talk/play like the child character in a speculative fiction novel. Especially when it's a little creepy and I'm not sure where get got certain phrasing. We do not really have news or other media on in the house, but I think he might be getting it from the times I come home and crash out while trying to listen to the state briefings (so they are playing in the background on my phone while I am dozing on the couch.) I kind of wonder if this weird discomfort was what plague parents would have felt watching their kids play ring around a rosy if the story about that there's origin is true (which iirc is not actually supported by a lot of evidence).