Hubby has greatly enjoyed the 3 times a week Kindergarten zoom meetings with a very non-techie inclined teacher. And apparently our silly cuddly floppy cat has had a starring role in a lot of the teens' zoom meetings (along with occasional guest appareances by the Kindergartener if he sneaks down to the teen lair while hubby has to do some work.
@snackness not only player expectations but also depending on a lot of factors some tax/legal ones as well.
I am mentally exhausted, pretty depressed, very stressed out and oh yay one of my coworkers in our 4 person office just went home after exhibiting signs of coronavirus infection. She has been the one meeting with people inside the building one at a time. Now it is a matter of when she can get tested/how long it takes, but fucking yikes.
@thhppbbbt more entitlement.
And also, not enough $$$ to make up for jacking up the entitlement.
I think there is a blind singular focus aspect to white knighting vs speaking up too. This could apply to a singular individual person that should be rescued at all costs, regardless of their behavior. It could be rushing to do battle on behalf of a specific group without bothering to read the context of a specific discussion. I would say that the most frequent example of that would be when some woke non-category bystander person starts tone policing the people they are purporting to champion, and look as if they are more concerned with appearing like a defender including lecturing people in that group vs listening to what they have to say.
I think there are people who get off on doing those things, but I think usually (except for the specific individual attached people) it just means that they are not capable or willing to look at the broader perspective, and a lot of people who get labeled that frequently in my observation are usually quite stubborn and unable to really come up for air once they have sunk their teeth into something.
It is one thing to speak up/out, but it is another to do so while being blind to context. I think that is where people get into trouble, whether it is blindly defending someone who has a history of terrible behavior, or people who end up saying shit like "if you are mean to someone who used a slur then you are just as bad, and it's your fault if they become more racist/antisemitic/whathaveyou."
Usually I think white knighting/virtue signaling is speaking more to the self-centered or self-promotional appearance of that person's behavior than it is about the fact that they spoke up at all. Sometimes people throw that out there to try to shut someone speaking up down, but I think usually it's worth it to slow down, reread or regroup, and see if there's something that was missed in the broader context that got trampled over in the rush to come out swinging as to why people are left with that impression.
Also to be blunt, there are certain freedoms inherent in a volunteer hobby that change once the mindset is "paid work."
A lot of times the "why don't we pay gamerunners and storytellers" comes up in the context of "so they will shut up about being volunteers" or "so that they will hurry up and get me what I want."
@surreality they are really good crispy and roasted, too.
Sometimes giving a list of Things You Should Do to someone whom you do not know (and therefore don't know what they have/have not done) is helpful or will be taken with some grace.
And sometimes it comes across like being one of Those People who when someone says "I've just been diagnosed with <insert diagnosis here> or I'm really struggling with X" is all immediately "whats so bad about that? Just take this vitamin/have a growth mindset/omg its just a made up or popular thing, snap out it" or treating the person like an idiot.
Depends on the day, the person, and the delivery. If you share a frustration you have to be wiling to be treated shittily or assumptions made. If you offer advice when you've not been asked or aren't aware of the actual context, sometimes you won't be actually helpful and can even kinda come off as a dick. That is to say, assumptions will often bite you on the ass, either way.
Adding a warning to those who might start travelers--there are two episodes that involve a pandemic that might be kinda triggering. I had to keep looking back to when this was made (though I do not think the modeling for how that would affect things was any secret and I'm sure that other shows have done a bang up job of it too, it just was firmly in the speculative realm for me then, or reading about them elsewhere).
Because of events in my own life now I found it super difficult to sleep this week and a big increase in nightmares for a few days when we binge watched through those episodes this weekend! But honestly still worth the discomfort, I thought I'd give a heads up though.
@derp what does someone having difficult integrating have anything to do with requiring anything of anyone else?
It is okay to feel down about that, to understand the reasons behind it that make it nobody's fault, without making the assumption that the person feeling left out wants to force themselves on anyone.
The complexity comes in balancing out as a person the desire to be part of things and also to not want to intrude/impose upon others.
Wanting to be involved doesn't mean wanting to force anyone to do anything against their will.
I was told the same by my regular care provider. That system will not order a test for the antibodies, period.
Thankfully my health plan is a PPO, there are clinics with providers that will allow their providers to order you a test even if you're not a regular patient, and my company will pay 100 percent for COVID related care no matter what.
I do understand the caution, especially since people are determined to be idiots about this and presume that positive antibody tests means they a) now when they got the infection, b) aren't infectious now, and/or c) are immune.
But yeah, it sucks but it seems a lot of people have to go to an outside clinic/lab than their usual provider/system to get the test. Surprise surprise, it's usually around here the ones where they have to send the test to another competitor to get processed that tell you they won't support it. I hope it's not like that really, but I have my doubts. It might be work a look to see if your employer has any COVID bonus coverage. While our insurance company wouldn't cover a lot as far as testing (and you'd have to meet the deductible anyway), right now my company will reimburse people 100 percent for covid-related care, including copays and deductibles.
@misadventure I don't understand what you mean by strong terminology.
Because games are so different culturally most of the time, I favor simple but clear terminology. So rather than fast-paced/slow-paced, for example, it would help me the most as a player if the GM says "please respond to all GM poses within 15 minutes or page me if you have a question or need more time during that time. If I don't receive your response by that time, then you'll be skipped that round; people who skip x amount of rounds may be dropped from the scene". To me that would probably be "fast paced" but to another person that would probably be mind numbingly slow. Having specific details rather than terminology helps me know what to expect.
I hate being reminded of why I loathe going to a doctor that I don't know/didn't vet prior to going in.
But at least everything still looks good on the ekg/other tests, so that's something!
@reimesu i agree though I also think it is helpful if there is not the appearance that any mention of worry/potential problems is going to be perceived and treated as "yelling/acting crazy" against the chill dude. Informing staff about a potential issue should not cast that person in that light. I would not feel comfortable reporting any issues to someone that I thought might react like that even with evidence bc of previous experiences. I would just leave and have done so. But that does solve the problem for the gamerunner.
For my 40th birthday I wanted to try a joint. Nothing. Drank a couple if things and took an edible, nothing. I didnt want to risk going from 0 to sick so I stopped.
I've tried tinctures and drinks since then, but I don't think I've ever felt high. With enough I just doze off. It doesnt even make me hungrier than usual.
Or I dunno maybe that's just what high feels like?
I am not usually annoyed with how people RP being intoxicated. I have no reference since I'm a square, and did not even try a sip of alcohol until my 21st birthday even. All of my irrational annoyance at people's RP when it is not my biz tends to revolve two other subjects, and you know, honestly its just better to let it go, esp if its only just supremely irritating rather than harmful.
@gremlinsarevil i can understand that point of view. I just won't play on a game where I feel like there might either be pressure to TS wielded by staff, or that my only real or best avenue to plot involvement would be through sexual play.
That can and does happen on games, I've definitely experienced that pressure and seen times where there was very little open ways to get involved other than that. At the time I tolerated that because it was just kind of a thing and you weren't allowed to say anything about it because you would have been branded a TS whore for even being in a position where someone might feel they could proposition you in the first place.
So I understand and honor that it may be a walkable thing for many people. Just for me personally I am somewhat surprised to find that it really doesn't bother me on either place ive played recently.
Though for the record, the last time an NPC made any sort of sexual advance towards any of my pcs was like 10+ years ago. So I suppose it's easy for me to say these things bc I'm not being offered only that avenue for involvement. And most places I've played in the last handful of years are very strict about sexual themes being introduced into stprylines regardless of whether its a staff ST or a player one without some kind of documented consent. I understand and support those policies but don't love the shaming that can happen towards people who do feel comfortable and enjoy those elements.
I feel you. I think you might have a lot of company really, even if we all express it differently (or similarly). 
My experience in and around This Is Not A Clique has honestly meant that I always seek an outside opinion or defer when it comes to placing RL friends into positions.
And I also can't agree enough with the idea that for coveted limited "spots" either in position or in type, clear guidelines for activity and behavior expectations and removal procedures (doesn't have to be complicated) really need to be in place.
I've said no and ruled against friends many times. Some accepted that with better grace than others. But it's true I personally scrutinize them more and seek more feedback from others before I place them, because I also know I'm human and know that I will trend to give them the benefit of the doubt or they have more opportunities than other people might to explain falling down on the job. Having a trusted 3rd party take a look and give me feedback on it is invaluable.
@Cupcake luckily I pick my own, and will. It is pretty exhausting though and bringing back some medical trauma that has blindsided me a bit emotionally. (I had some medical care negligence many years ago that had some significant health impacts to me as well as almost leading to the death of one of my newborn twins, took about 5 years of intense therapy to be able to deal with the PTSD around that. This is a VERY different situation and nowhere near as severe, it's rather mundane and run of the mill for people who are fat, really,but for some reason it is triggering those emotions/memories like whoa. I'm thinking because of all the external unrelated stress.)
I am feeling vulnerable. I loathe feeling vulnerable. But I know it will pass.
It is a little head scratching to me that it's to be celebrated and commended to state up front that you'll only pick people you know and like for the most important roles on your game, but you are a horrible awful excuse for a game runner if you pick staff for your game who are willing to cede those roles to people who aren't staff.