Posts made by mietze

I also wonder how to control for not letting anyone outshine those around them. Limited slots for certain skills at certain levels? I have seen this done in a limited away before (there were only a couple of spaces for top tier influencers, and it was non lethal pvp to get them and also to maintain them it took away time/ability to get other things because it was expensive to maintain and did not prevent pvp for people trying to gain that slot themselves). It seemed to work pretty good, but that was a social skill mechanic. You probably could do the same for maxed our skill in anything though. Or severely limit how many maximized and one step below max a PC could have period as well as capping how many people could have that particular skill maxed.

My experience though is people freak out about any perceived limitation or potential no, even though they also tend to be resentful that even at max skill they are seldom the only one and thus it's not special.

@Derp I only play on two games currently. Neither one is WoD, and I seldom have too much trouble finding RP with new people. I don't think either one has an ooc room but I could be wrong. But there are private rooms so it's not like people can't hermit.

I think if you can't stand people idling or being in a private room on your game, maybe just say that if you notice people constantly doing that you'll just kick them off, institute a quota for on grid or ic between two or more PCs posing that has to be done to maintain your PC, make sure staff is giving people lots to do, ect. I'm not sure that taking away (or providing) rooms is going to solve the issue of people logging in but never unidling or going ic. People will just make you even more crazy by doing their same behaviors in other areas, even if they're not a lounge and no one can have a bedroom. You have to put on the meany pants and cull the people whose behavior is disruptive to you, or offer them a carrot or something. You cannot really passively prevent this type of behavior, at least as far as I have observed.

A high bump on a log to dynamic RPer ratio seems to be standard on most games that I have played where there weren't culling of inactive (as in doing things on the game, not just logging in) people. But you also have to have a thick skin for dealing with people who dont play there screaming about it. People lose their minds sometimes even about sphere or population caps, pretty sure people will pop even more brain cells if a game removed characters from the game that staff deemed as useless/not contributing. But it might really provide both motivation and reward for people who hate idlers/chatter-only people?

I think it would be a little harder to adapt for a permanent-grid-less game, for me personally, because I like being able to use rooms I dont have to create in order to seek RP, but for the right game I would definitely be willing to try and adapt.

I find for the types of stories I usually want to tell an intermediate range works best, in that I don't really want God like power to deal with, but OTOH I want people to have somewhat well rounded PCs if they want, which is arguably hard in a beginner level (or maybe at extremely low powered everyone is well rounded in a sense so it depends on how you look at it.)

I prefer slow gain xp, but only if rewards can be provided in other ways. (Personalized storytelling and attention, mainly). I think if you really can't provide that it's good to provide some way for people to feel like their activity is rewarded by the game. But on the other hand, I also think it is futile to try and reward all types of players in a single game in a way that gets everyone's needs met--i would rather just be honest but not shaming about it.

Instead of "be an adult and don't bitch at staff if you aren't able to create your own fun", maybe say "we will only provide limited staff run opportunities for character development, so to be involved with a lot of character development/storylines it is going to require that you hook up with a group that does active storytelling for its members or consider being a storyteller or be willing to be proactive in meeting people ic or oocly, otherwise you may feel isolated even though you will still get the passive xp gain/can do activities to get xp." Or instead of "be a role player not a roll player/twink/min-maxer" more like "XP may be a lot slower than you are accustomed to/you may feel a little weird about having such "bad dice"/low numbers on your sheet, and if you primarily feel motivated by mechanical character advancement then the pace may be frustrating to you. We have chosen to focus on having staff driven storylines that concentrate on developing character /stories/ individually and as a group, and your sheets/power levels are taken into account as we tell those stories." Or whatever.

People are motivated by many different things. Just because someone needs the hope of maxing out their sheet doesn't make them a lesser musher than me even if I personally don't care if I ever get to top tier, or vice versa. It is okay to want to "win" a game however you define it too, as long as the game is set up for that.

It is when someone needs something that the game cannot realistically provide, or if something changes and it can no longer provide, that I think a lot of resentment problems arise, and I wish we had better ways of communicating staff intention/interest than implied shame on players. And I wish more staff felt more equipped/empowered to remove people who it's clearly not working for without needing to think that player is "bad".

So I guess I don't think there is a universal ideal. Just some forethought in what kind of stories, progression, and support will be available and disclosure of that will help set the tools you will use to achieve that.

@krmbm that sounds like a great thing. Allows people to have an ooc room but also easy monitoring.

I get most of my pickup RP either from parking by myself in public and inviting people on chan to stop by if they want bevause I am happy to set or flagging myself lrp. I would say about 75 percent of my RP time is with new folks/people I have no idea who they are oocly and like that very much or PCs i have seldom encountered. It doesnt bother me to be the loser that sits in public rooms on grid and is bypassed for RP. For whatever reason it does not make me feel as bad as I do when someone says OOC or on chan in a general group would anyone like to play and when I offer it is ignored and they ask again like 15 minutes later.

It is kind of weird, I find myself not attached to those things either.

These days I am much more attracted to active staff who seem to have a cohesive vision and are not afraid to cull people who just refuse to abide by community standards, large or small.

I am willing (after some internal screaming and foot stomping of course) to learn new systems and commands if that is present. If it's not , even if the game has every tchotchke and sphere and familiar code and even people I love there--i know that's the kiss of death for me as a player there, as far as being willing to invest my time.

@Derp I am neutral on them, except for I think it is easier for staff to monitor channels vs the room (especially for a small staff).

A bunch of ooc chatter that I can't avoid where people need to talk about how specifically they banged their wife last night, political screeds, and/or a bunch of game stat wangwaving will turn me off to any games that I log onto as a guest or a newbie. Doesn't matter if that's ooc in a room or on a pub channel.

@Apos agreed. While I do not think there's anything inherently wrong with ooc rooms and channel announcements, or any other familiar trappings of that used to be standard things on mux/mushes code wise or build wise or policy wise...I mean just as it would be dumb to refuse to include anything old because it's old, I think it is just as dumb to think that you MUST include anything just because "people are used to it."

There's a balance of course. But I am pretty sure that players who would outright refuse to play on any game that didn't have an OOC room they could talk in because they need that for their mushing experience would not be missed at all on a game where for whatever reason it was determined that it was not needed/wanted. That should not be a bad thing.

One of the things that frustrates me a lot is this clinging to everyone must do what I like/find comforting, and the attacks/nay saying when people use systems/different sorts of ideas or expectations while at the same time people complain about there not being a lot of variety on games. People freak out about open sheet/new code/what topics are or are not included in allowable play/leadership structure, ect. That's fine, we all have our preferences but it really should not imo escalate "if you do this, I'm not interested in playing on the game, it's not my thing" to "OMG HOW DARE YOU THIS IS A SHIT GAME BEVAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING I WANT/HAVE SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE." Of course it's going to but jeez, it's really okay for someone to not play on a game or to play on one that has some things that you don't like or is missing things that you do.

I am all for game runners/creators examining everything and deciding what works for them.

You aren't "taking away" anything if you simply do not build it in to your game. People "like" huge gluts of xp and being able to max out everything too, but you do not have to provide it. (Or a low xp environment if you don't want to run a low xp game). They like all sorts of things that may or may not be present in every game. I think if staff worries about enforcing OOC conduct in an ooc room and it is going to be an energy drain for them, they should maybe examine what benefit it provides vs the cost of upkeep, for that particular game.

Is there any reason to have an ooc room where people can "talk out loud?" The more time I spend on games that do not have them the more I'm convinced that they have little purpose other than being yet another thing that is a drain on the game.

I think it is fair to have pretty narrow restriction of topics in pub chan. That is first point of contact for new players and nobody should step away from their screen and have to come back to screens of people trying to one up each other on pub about how hardcore bsdm lifestyle they are or intimate details about their various mental and physical health ailments, or deal with a RL political fight or graphic descriptions of the latest RL mass shooting or hate crime. (All examples I have experienced in the last 3 months checking out various new games--i was shocked to realize how only playing on a game that discourages that for the most part had taken away the desensitization I had experienced being on WoD to knowing who waxes their genitals, whose diagnoses are what, ect in the first 45 minutes of login.

I think spin off channels are okay. I agree that some specific rules are good but I think staff should always have the ability to decide something it out of line, when they see it.

I havent killed anyone yet!

Spent much of the night last night at the ER with the 5 year old (most severe asthma attack he has ever had, but luckily we were able to avoid hospitalization, since he responded so well) first time he has had to go on oxygen rather than just the nebulizer. But he was still up at 5 as per usual on christmas morning!

Finding out my favorite aunt spent a year refusing to go to a real doctor and instead self treated breast cancer with eating clean, praising jesus, and essential oils and now is finally returning to conventional medicine now that she is really sick and in advanced stages. I do not really know if angry is the right word for what I am but I am pretty full of rage for MLMs and Pray Away the X theology of any type.

All this to say that I think when you are dealing with someone who is not really capable or willing to see their role in things, no matter how big or small, I just really do not think it ever helps to "confront" them. I mean you can try but usually they will take that as more ammunition (though it also can cover your ass, especially online where they might share it because they believe that they are in the right, and then the other person can see the reaction for themselves, and can see that the person is blind to their behavior.) or "proof" that you are not the nice person you think you are and/or just are a horrible person who has always been out to get them/doesnt understand, ect.

I think when you are dealing with an otherwise calm person who is having some struggles or is lashing out, talking to them about it can be very productive, because they are able to process criticism or concern without immediately funneling it into an "attack" that then sets off a chain of other reactions. But if you really are dealing with someone who cannot or will not see or admit fault and will deflect even very small things as well as big things, then I personally have found trying to confront or speak with them almost always leads to more hurt and damage than simply distancing, or backing away. There are very few instances where I have talked to people who resist any suggestion of harm they are causing by their behavior that I have not regretted it. I cannot think of a single instance where talking to people who seemed very behavior blind to their effects on others ever resulted in that person changing their behavior--it always resulted in an attack, and a sustained one, even if it happened not in my presence (usually how it goes).

That goes for my mother, for people in MUSHing, people in community orgs, even clients.

People who can deal with behavior or incident discussion rarely enjoy the conversation (it's awkward on either side), but even if there are upset feelings that usually is productive. I am so grateful for the many times that people have approached me, and for the majority of people who have been open when I approached them.

So I'm always willing to talk with someone once or twice about issues that rise to the level and frequency where I feel like I need to bring it up. (It's a high bar, I do not give feedback or even talk about boundaries until there have been several incidents, since I think anyone can have a one off day). But once I know that they are not willing or capable of dealing with it or that they go into knee jerk attack mode (or slow burn attack mode for that matter), I find it better to just back off, withdraw, and leave them the fuck alone.

Less than 48 hours until my parents arrive, which means my appetite is shot and I am on emotional high alert until they are gone. (Thankfully only a week this time and they are not staying at my house, so I will be able to sleep). Compounding things this year is an enthusiastic biological family who are so very kind and inclusive (and thankfully patient) but whose love I really can't accept. Which I feel outrageously guilty about, and am trying the best I can.

I hate this time of year. I seem to have done an okay job of not passing this stuff on to my own kids, so I think I'm just going to try to focus on their relaxation and happiness and attempt to box up the worst of my anxiety about my mom having another break while they are here. She's only had one ragefit at me this month, which is the best yet, so I'm keeping finger (and toes and eyes) crossed.

Maybe it's just from being raise with a grade A narcissist, but I think a lot of people can convince themselves into total belief that they are 100 percent wronged/the victim even if they were the abusive one/instigator. It isn't an act at all, they totally believe it and when it is pointed out well that's just yet another person who is horrible or doesn't understand. It is very difficult to deal with and most of the time not worth the bother.

@Jeshin They are fun. For the last 18 years of kids and family shit, on a pragmatic level that's the only format that I can do tt in (as well as most of the people that I have done tt with in that time period). I don't think it works so well with classic RPGs (even when I knew WoD rules well, I've forgotten most of them now), but there are a number of systems that make grab and go very easy. I really really enjoy it, though sometimes getting people to try something new and not what they did in jr/high school as a kid can be a hard sell at first.

I think this is a case of being sure to know or learn the culture of this particular game. In all the WoD lines there are really awesome stories to be told for the minor splat in the sphere that are just as interesting as the supers. But realistically as a player that PREFERS the minor role (ghoul will forever be my WoD love), the sphere may be populated by super players who arent really interested in seeing people who play the roles as anything but TS hounds because that's all this players see in the "minor/support" role. That tends to attract players who aren't interested in being more than that over time (which there isn't anything inherently wrong with someone focusing on that aspect of play IMO) which means that you may not find meaningful stories with other non-super PCs in the sphere (which have always been some of my favorite stories in that role). Sometimes staff does a great job of changing the culture so that ghouls/kinfolk/kinain have value and compelling stories both with the super community and with each other (the most enriching RP I have had in WoD was on RfK as a ghoul because of the encouragement and interest of other people playing them to have our own stories as well as that with our various vampires/coteries).

But on a free for all game with little staff management, I'd say pick your pack wisely and make sure you know oocly if the folks you are coming in with are enthusiastic about creating stories that you like with you too. And just be prepared to take some ooc flack, you are likely to get dismissed as only interested in TS if you are kinfolk or ghoul with many folks. Hopefully the culture of the game is more supportive.