Best posts made by RightMeow

I want to start this off by saying I'm actually really sad about this. It's the kind of sad that you just sort of accept it, but you aren't happy about the outcome. I'm not sobbing, but my heart hurts for this.

I first found MSB because I had left MU life for years. I was there on WORA and all the things. I've done amazing things and horrible things in the many years I have invested in this hobby. I left the hobby when a toxic level crossed some of my RL boundaries and I thought it had become unhealthy. I had a bad experience with a bad person and it was just better to leave. However, I freaking adore writing and making small stories with people. I like throwing things out there and seeing the reactions. I appreciate all that have been in this hobby with me.

I don't remember who, but they pointed out MSB and I was like wuh-oh WORA (lol). However, I found it to be more a community. I'm not in any 'in crowds' and I don't think I'm avoided. Or maybe I'm not self-aware enough for that. This site helped me to answer my questions about Arx (which is the only game I play) and helped me when players were creepy to me.

I am a non-reporter. My stories are on here. It exists. However, my style is avoidant and it serves my RL trauma (and internet ones) how it needs to. I was encouraged to talk about my issues with people here. That was amazing. It helped me see I was not in the wrong even when being gaslit. I got on a board that talked about ADHD and realized that some of my 'issues' could link back to that. As someone who's very private about their RL, this was a stretch for me to put things out there. However, the community embraced it. They answered questions I was too nervous to ask. It led me to a RL diagnosis that has helped my life extremely. Those things might not have happened without this board in place.

Then the admin shift happened. The bannings happened. Other boards were created. Posts were made. Comments were made. We know, we've gone through it. I stayed on both boards because I do truly paint the world with rose-tinted optimism and think everyone deserves chances. I believe people are not the situation they are in, they are people. People evolve good and bad and that we just have to understand what they are going through. This is just my belief nothing more. I have checked up on people through here when times were rough. I have continued to watch and my activity has gone down on both boards.

It's because I'm saddened by the aftermath of all things that have transpired. Now, I'm not popular (and I'm okay with this mostly), so my comments aren't going to have an effect. I fully know that and I'm okay with it. My hope is maybe something said sparks something to cause one to be a little more self-aware of perception over intention.

I've watched the debates on this board. I've watched the comments. I've witnessed the upvotes, the 'tone' of the things stated, I've watched the reactions to everything. I've seen the trends. To be honest, I don't think EITHER of the boards or ANY of the people on them are truly malicious in their posts here. I believe they are speaking their versions of everything.

However

I am disheartened that admin here are showing a clear bias towards each other. That they are shutting down comments that are directed at them. That there are a few posters here that are savagely aggressive in their comments. That thoughts, feelings, statements are being brushed aside and painted with an overall us vs them mentality. I'm not going to name names or posters. If you are involved you know. That's good enough.

I am going to step back from this board. I am not deleting myself yet. I am not sure what decisions I'm going to make. I don't believe in making them in the heart of the moment. My absence is not going to be felt, but for me --- I felt a need to make the post stating I'll be stepping back and why.

I do, honestly, wish everyone that reads this the best. I do. However, I don't think anyone is seeing the toxic nature of the posts happening here by those that are staying too. I think they are reacting (which is their right) and not pausing enough to realize how they are being perceived. I fully admit and believe it is not what they intend, but how it is coming across in a text based medium.

Anyways - thank you to the board for the things I needed when I needed them most. I'll take some time to see how I feel, but I do truly and heartfully wish everyone the best. We have so many options in life and we should strive to take the option of kindness.

Thank you for the RP (I play Esme - love her or hate her - primarily). Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for sharing lives and stories and information.

In closing to my very long post --- Please be kind to one another and also, most importantly, to yourselves.

So.... yeah.

These last few weeks have been TRYING. I ended up in the ER for something that challenged my mobility. This was right about when I was planning to move out and get my feet back under me (hahaha pun). So I took a few days to feel sorry for myself.

Then I bought an adapter for my car to allow me to use hand controls instead of feet controls. This is odd, but hey, I'm back to driving. Today, I just moved the rest of my stuff in and my dog. So, after getting out of a rough situation, living with family for a few I am... back.. on.. my own..

All the praise hands and things. I just am beyond happy that I have this place and that we live in a world that things can adapt as one needs it.

When you are having silent anxiety (you think X person hates you/your RP/etc but don't say anything) and an OOC conversation starts on a different topic. Then it comes up there and you realize that's not the case just your anxiety but you talk it out.

And everyone is awesome OOC and good OOC and adult about it OOC.

It's a good day when things can resolve with no harsh feels, insults, etc and just good conversation.

@Macha
You pull out a piece of paper.
Write down the area of stats. Be honest about your dice pools.
Strength: 2 (1 if I see a person I can convince to lift for me)
Dexterity: 3 (I'm not in my 20s, but sometimes my body lets me pretend I am. More if tequila is involved)
Stamina: 3 (See the tequila problem, but late night RP sessions have taught me how to deal with pain and lack of sleep)
Charm: 2 (It's not charming in middle age as it was at like 10 years old, wtf?)
Command: 4 (Mom look on point)
Composure: 4 (No fucks to give - too tired drop stamina to 2)
Intellect: 4 2 (There's some blocks, I've wait. I take back the 4. I remember previous dating life. Corrected)
Perception: 2 (Glasses raise to a 3 - If one can find glasses)
Wits: 5 (I'm fucking awesome funny and sarcastic)

Okay. Now you can start to list your skills. From there you look for what skills and stats you are lacking. You can go to an online forum. I would not post looking for group unless you are into that. So adventurer sought with dynamic storyteller abilities. Must understand game mechanics. Must obey by custom game rules.

Also you can tell others that you are looking for a partner as well. Careful though. Some of these 'side quests' are just a time sink with no real treasure payout. Grinding for nothing is still nothing. Make the grind count.

Then you compare sheets (of paper or well literal sheets bow chicka). You decide that you can adventure together. You roll your dice at each choice and see if you get the natural 20 or the natural 1. Adventure on

If you end up with a dud, just put them on 'block' (aka ghosting) and move onto the next one.

Does this help? (I mean other than explaining why I'm single)

Weird MU Love.

When you are in a bad headspace because of life, so you aren't playing your uber happy char. When you login to check in on what you are missing. You get 'hey you were missed' pages without any guilt or without anyone trying to pull you to scenes. Just letting you know they are here to pick up when you come back.

My birthday was Monday. For this birthday I took a whole week off of work paid. This may be the best gift I've given myself.

I signed a lease on my apartment.. woohooo. This means that while spending so much money (so much). There is a light at the end of the tunnel to sorting my life back out in a healthy balance.

First, I agree with @Ganymede - don't tell someone how to parent their child. You have NO clue what is going on in their world, with their child, etc. Nor do you have a right to know.

Second, it is fucking TERRIFYING raising a child. You are always doing it wrong or not enough. You are too strict or not strict enough. You are surrounded with predators, etc. So as a parent, it is terrifying out there. Completely terrifying. Fight me on this.

Third, no one has to tell you the rules of their household. I'll be honest. Anything with a password, I have that password. If you are my child, I know how to access your shit. You know I will, but I will wait for a reason. Don't give me a reason by showing me that trust can't be given and we are good. I've never had to use a password, but I have them. You don't like that, that's fine. It's not YOUR job to protect my child; it's mine.

My goal as a parent is to have a child that is secure and has the least amount of trauma that I can prevent. I can't prevent it all. They have to make their own choices, but it's my job to guide them. I don't want them in jail and I don't .. let me say this again.. DO NOT want to identify them in a morgue.

So if she needs to protect her child however she feels is right, your job is to shut the fuck up. There isn't abuse. If there was, call a person. Have it checked out. I understand teenagers need space to explore who they are, but they are still very much children. They don't (sorry to any teenagers on here) understand some of the depravity that we do as adults. Honestly, I hope they don't learn about it in an intimate way. I hope they do get their childhood and thank god for people that will protect it.

So TL;DR -- back off of parents just trying to make it so they aren't identifying a body, filing a missing person's, or dealing with a child's trauma at someone else's hands.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts on the matter. I've voiced mine in other areas. I just wanted to touch on the Clique. Now I understand that a lot of times I rose-tint people and things. I also understand that filter goes on for my wrongdoings too. I have many. I am far from sainthood. Many.

However, in all the forums that I have been part of good, bad, ugly, beautiful, etc - they were there for various reasons. Some were to discuss fixes. Some were to vent frustrations. Some were to see if they were wrong in their thought processes. We have all 'dogpiled' at one point or another.

I can only speak from my perception of these things. I have been slut shamed, dogpiled, personally attacked on here and by people here -- but you know what? Also on here, I have been defended by strangers, been vindicated, been protected, been educated, and been told I was not insane by people too.

I don't think this perceived clique is truly there. They were banned before the Discord post went up that they could put their handle. They may be more than welcoming to people to join in - have you asked or are you just assuming you are not invited (you in general)? I'm sure that if I started to use Discord, I could join and I am not part of any cliques I am aware of.

Do I respect the opinions and thoughts and RP storytelling of some of the banned? Yep. Do I agree with all of them? Nope. Am I saddened by the way all of this has unfolded on various sides? Yep. Am I going to ask questions? Yep. I will try to do it respectfully.

My views (and this is my thoughts not the letter of the law) is that admin on games, in a job, in a community, on a BBS, in life, in virtual life, etc all have to be held at a higher standard than the 'masses' that they have authority over. Is that fair? Nope. However, I believe they are setting a standard. I do not believe any admin here is THE EVIL or bad. I believe they are human. Humans make errors. Humans aren't perfect. However, not all humans are the right choices for all things. That is what makes us awesome as people.

I, for one, am awesome if you need some over the top optimism in your life. I will cheerlead for you until I lose my breath. It doesn't make me good. It just makes me who I am. However, I am not the person to come to if you want to talk metrics and stats. I am not the one to come to if you want to find the right code to implement something. I am not the one to handle a coldly logical debate, because I'm not that person. I'm amazed by the people that are. I'm amazed at my coworkers in life that can look at data, blink once and give me the percentage of average to how feasible it is. I am in awe of people who understand the game dynamics of combat, of econ, and of all the moveable parts that are hard for me to understand.

I think there is a perception of cliques because those are the loudest voices. Or maybe I'm rose-tinted here too, but I'm okay with that. We are so quick to call it bullying when there are questions from multiple sources. We are so quick to call it a clique, but I don't think that's factual. I really don't think anyone is on their off time thinking how to make one person's life difficult on this site. I think they are just being human and responding to human feelings and thoughts.

Sorry to ramble.

Don't forget to be kind.

Hi!

I have played (do play?) characters that are 'good' and 'bad' depending on the view. I play characters that I don't mind losing for the story and sometimes the impact on my play. Also, I don't think I'm the protagonist. My 'good' char very clearly could be turned (or has been -insert evil laugh-) in the right situation and I'm totally open to it.

How I see 'IC failure'. It's not the failure, it's the reaction to the failure. If you fail at something you tried for, that does kind of suck. If everyone is cool with it, you get cool with it. Develop a story. Move forwards. HOWEVER - if you are told by the people around you how bad you suck IC all the time because you failed that thing. That's going to hit on an OOC level because the negativity is going to be constant.

Dice are fickle lovers. In WoD a high ranking garou should not lose to a cub. It wouldn't happen in most story telling, but it happens in a game because dice. Then that high ranking garou has some very awkward RP that is usually far from pleasant or loses rank for something that didn't make sense to happen and did not forward a story at all. Other than a cub gets to mouth off and say they beat an elder. Cool story brah. It's all it is for them, but for the other player/char it's a huge hit. I think storyteller's need to look at that weight as well.

Also, games are not static. If you are running a game (admin) you can alter rules/etc. There are four people bidding for Sheriff but there can only be one? Fine. Then make it a house rule that the Sheriff position will rotate every X amount of time unless run uncontested. It gives them time to plot and the other time to figure out how to keep it.

There are a million different story elements that can come good and bad from success or failure. The problem (in my opinion) is the reaction of the rest of the game to a person's loss.

Just my two cents.

WOOOHOOO

First one - this is the minor one. I just bought an electric spinny thing to clean my make up brushes and I can't wait to use it.

THIS ONE --- This one is my fav of the day.

I emailed my boss a few days ago and I'm like hey these people on the retail lanes need fans. It's hot, and they can't breathe in these masks. My boss is like nope.. too big of an expense but they can buy their own as they need it. I go home and drink and then look at the adult person in my house and am like, I'm going to need to spend $300 on fans. I can't have them up there. The adult person thinks about it a moment and agrees. So tomorrow I was going to buy fans out of my own money.

Today, I'm off work. I get a text from my boss in all caps (this can't be good).

YOU WIN!

Then they proceed to tell me it's hot as balls and they are sweating and they bought everyone fans up front. I have never been so happy that I 'won' something not actually for me. I'm like SO EXCITED. They need them so much.

So I had a horrible day yesterday. I'm not going into it because no one cares (I'm totally okay with that btw). However, I pulled myself out for RP. I camped down and the people made me laugh so much. It made my day better. They didn't even know I was having a bad one.

I wrote out this lengthy reason and informative post about my RL feels atm. Then I realized it didn't really matter (that's not in a bad way). The situation didn't really matter because it boils down to this:

When my feels are not your feels about something -- that does not invalidate my feels as real.

That's my annoyance. We all have very different life stories and they compose us of who we are and what we are. It's not good. It's not bad. It's just events (nothing to do with the previous ones btw). So please, please, do not jump on people if they do not react how you do. They are no more broken than you are fixed. Now I'm going to go to bed, but everyone feels what they feel and that's okay.

Update because you are now (really it's not new) my overshare group because you GET IT. Also, side note, thank you for getting it.

We have adjusted my dosage twice. I'm starting to feel different. Not in a bad way. When I take it, I feel more motivated almost. I think that's the best way to explain it. I will go to the grocery store instead of just thinking I should. Or wash the dishes or a million other things.

However, I'm still super forgetful. So, we aren't at the right dosage, but I think we are going the right way. This makes super happy too. I didn't know my brain could slow down this way and it's almost like learning to think all over again.

Also, my emotions seem a little more balanced (not that I was out of control there). When people would talk about letting something go and not letting it effect them. I'm almost there. Like I feel better about drawing boundaries in how I'll be treated and how I'll react to it. I'm not sure it's the meds but ...

Sorry. I rambled. I just don't have anyone in my not cyberspace life that has ADHD to talk with on the same level. Although, they are all encouraging.

Thank you for reading!

Don't forget to be kind.

Hi.

Once upon a time I got caught up with a person that was not nice. It's public records on this board. One of the current female characters he was involved with he pit against me. I was not aware of this. I was just confused by icy commentary.

That person made a comment here about how I was trolling for TS and a horrible person, etc. Which hey nothing wrong with TS. Because it was made in a PUBLIC place, other people were quick to jump to defense. One in particular stated they RPed with me on an alt they had that fit the definition and I never once did these things.

Also, it allowed communication between me and this other person. Where we compared notes and went yeah, nope okay they were lying. If this was not made public; this would not have resolved. I may have believed what I was being told about her. She would have continued to believe what she was being told about me.

I'm all about calling out the bad behaviors when it involves this sort of stuff. It also helps as someone who was on the receiving end to see I'm not insane. -- That's my only thought to share at the moment.

Thank you.

Remember to be kind.

Greetings.

I hope this is not taken inflammatory, but the thread is locked and I have some questions. I am not offering my thoughts, but I am offering the questions respectfully. A few items I would like some clarity upon. I wasn't sure what board to put it on, so I picked this. Feel free to move it if it's not the right one.

1. "Keeping this thread locked to keep it clear and uncluttered, but commentary and suggestions are, as always, welcome via PM to the admins." -- Clarity question - why are they welcome via PM and not to boards? Which maybe I am going to be banned for, but I'm curious about this. Again, I am asking with respect not a reactionary.

2. "Admins will interpret this code of conduct based on the spirit, rather than the letter, of the Code. Constantly walking the knife-edge and attempting to rules-lawyer this Code of Conduct shall be considered a violation of the spirit of the Code, and punished accordingly." -- Clarity question -- I might be reading it wrong (I probably am) but the wording sounds like rules can change at a notice because this is just a vague rule. Does that mean that any interpretation could be a violation? Also, what is the punishment? Or is that up to interpretation?

Again, I am just curious about this. I mean, I suppose if it gets me a ban, I'll be saddened by it, but in the end it's your boards.

Thank you for reading. Don't forget a few things. When responding we decide if we empower or demoralize. The other is to be kind.

I'm just nice. I am NOT trying to get with your person. I don't want your person. Seriously, I promise. Just being nice. I'm not touching them. I smile at EVERYONE seriously.

Resting Nice Face gets you drama too.

@Derp

I could be wrong, but I think that @TNP meant you would not be banned if you just showed up to a game and acted kindly and decent. No one would be the wiser because everyone is a bit anonymous on the internet.

Those that it normally happens to is because they fail to do this. They show their calling cards.

(You in general sense)

I'm not involved in this, but I am. I'm not involved because I don't read the politics board. I just mark it read and move on. I didn't post on either side. I think for the most part, I have tried to be mid-ground on most things. I can see both sides of this, in truth.

As people go, I like them on the banned side, on the admin side, and on the unbanned/unadmin side. I tend to just like people as people for the most part. I am old. I get that we react out of haste. I get we say things out of haste.

My issues (not that anyone cares) are three main ones.

1. All the bans. Not just one, but all of them. I log in one day to a list of people not just a few, but a list of them that are now banned because they would not listen. --- This should not have gone down this way. I'm not saying I agree with what they were saying or I disagree. What I am saying is it should not have come down this way. Here is why I think that --- Most of us have a MU* history of games that had admins that should not have been admins. A LOT in this hobby have been hurt by this -- It read as a we are admin and what we say must at all times be obeyed or we will silence you. --- If there was a game and the admin did this exact thing and just banned everyone who didn't listen, we'd have a topic dedicated to them. It was handled incorrectly. It's done. No one can go back, but it is done and we just move forwards to what happens.

2. Concerns may only be addressed in PM. Nope. I cannot in clear conscience think this was a good tactic when admin integrity was the issue being debated. Now, I UNDERSTAND the reason. The reason was to my assumption, funnel it in one area and to try to regain control of a forest fire by offering a controlled burn of some sort. I get that. I understand that one wants it directed to them not to everyone. The perception was that it became cloak and dagger. Part of the reason the forum is here is to do away with that in the community. We are good and bad supposed to be able to air it all out. We should use the right boards in the right places, but that's part of the community. When it starts saying that 'receipts' should not be posted and comments need to be through only these private means - it comes across as it's going to be media'ed -- which by that I mean censored and offered up in justification of the 'winning' party.

3. The name calling of the banned or the what they did wrong continuation saga. We have opinions and they are ours to have. I don't actually appreciate it being pointed out that they could read it if they wanted, but couldn't respond. In truth, that seems worse. However, this is just my opinion, it doesn't make it right. The ones that are banned for whatever reason are now being talked about here and their intentions talked about when what we are really talking about is our perceptions of what they did. Which got them banned, but it's okay because we are still here?

Anyways, this isn't my leaving post. This isn't my staying post. This is just my opinion post. I think a lot of damage has been done on all sides to this board. It will repair. It will move on no matter what happens. Just don't forget there are people involved. They have feelings on the other side of these screens. Some are in the community here still and watching to see what happens. Some are banned and coming back to read because they are also invested at some level. We have all fucked up. It's just what we do when it happens. Hard decisions have been made and will continue to be made. We can just try to do best as we can for all and to show empathy where it allows.

I have vented about my job. It's had chaotic hours. It's been crazy. I've been jumping through flaming hoops only to have them douse me in kerosene and ask me to do it again. I came home last night so angry and disrespected that I was crying.

Then we sat down and discussed my job (we being my family). It was decided that funds are there and I'm going to find a low paying temp job while I apply to better ones. When I get an employment offer, I'm quitting my job. I'm going to half my salary, but money isn't worth the mental stress and the lack of a quality life.