Best posts made by Sunny

@gryphter

His mom was damn cool about the whole thing and it turned out quite well for everyone in the end, particularly as I was an additional voice poking him about homework. He got into the college he wanted and -- so on. I mean, I'm talking of course about a specific incident that went about as well as this sort of thing could ever possibly go, but this is in reality what actually happened the one time I ran into this as a game administrator. It was the only time it ever came up.

I was a TERRIBLE kid, and because I was a terrible kid, I know there isn't anything I could do as a game administrator to keep terrible kids out. It's just not possible, and beyond that, it falls into the realm of undue burden and such. It's just not reasonable.

So while I agree that there's probably things that could be done (and should be done in the cases of games that focus on themes that are popular with children) in the case of the prevention of harm to minors, I don't think it's really a privacy concern.

Legal, moral, and ethical obligations are all different sorts of obligations. It's important to be clear with ourselves on which we are discussing at any given time, since things can get muddied quickly.

@Luna, Oh, there's always hope. I got really really really really really lucky with what happened, and I sorta got some sweet drugs. It's really frustrating that there really aren't any non-NSAID non-Tylenol painkillers that aren't narcotic and/or labeled DO NOT USE FOR HEART PATIENTS. Motherfuckers. Somebody needs to get on that shit stat.

Sciencey people around here, are you listening to me?! You have a mission!

@68whiskeyman

I don't know you at all, but I remember CotM! I also was a wee person when I started mushing myself (13), so I completely empathize with the....

Yeah.

Thanks for posting this, and I betcha you'll eventually get a few bites. We've got quite a few people around these parts that were playing in the CotM days.

@Derp said in Privacy in gaming:

@Sunny said in Privacy in gaming:

Thanks Dew, wherever you are, yes, for that gloriously colorful code.

Stooorytime!

So, BigBad was, before he was BigBad, a coder that I'd played with fairly regularly. He came on to help with Ashes in the early stages, we were pals. He did a fairly impressive job for us with code, and everything was going well. Until he began monitoring peoples' pages, then brought logs of this monitoring to me as proof that people were OOCly plotting against him. I sitebanned him. He accessed the game around the siteban and nuked a very large portion of our code before we were able to do anything about it. We were not in full open, but we were in soft RP, and while character bits had stats and such on them, the entire framework was gone.

I don't know how she managed it, but Dew built us a chargen and sheet code in what seems to me in hindsight like it was absolutely no time at all -- if it wasn't a weekend then it was a week/two at max -- using the stats that were all on everyone's charbits. Basically built us a framework for someone else's insanity that WORKED, and not only did it work, but she set it up so that I, a complete code incompetent, was able to maintain it without her.

It was -- like a rainbow vomited on kermit, then scooped it up and put it in the blender, then dumped it on our game. It was colorful but not in any particular way, but my god it was ours and it worked.

ETA: Oh oh oh and she gave us complete permission to share it as much as we wanted to, as long as I was supporting it and not her.

ETA2: The person who came along after I had spread it to several other games deserves mention. They not only cleaned up Ashes, but they went to the other games and updated that code, and then chased me back to my 'we do not test in production' room and -- yeah. They did fix Ashes' code, and the code that came from Ashes' code, and they spent many years maintaining and it was awesome. I'm not sure what they go by these days around here, but this is def recognition for them. So much appreciated.

@mietze

I love my InstaPot sooooooooooo much.

@68whiskeyman

Hahaha, I had something similar happen on a game called Doublecross. I got the position originally (at like 13) because I "coded" bunk code for Changeling (ahahahahahaha) and then when the Changeling wiz quit they made me wiz and my RL best friend (one year older) became the Vampire wiz and -- yeah, it went about as sideways as one can imagine.

@Pandora

Privacy is valuable in and of itself. It might not have value to you, but to pretend that it only is valuable to anyone if they are misbehaving is inaccurate. Recognizing when other people have different values than you without immediately assuming those values are lesser is really helpful when having these sorts of conversations.

@silentsophia I'm in a state where marijuana is legal, but I pretty much have to get stoned for relief, and I can't work like that. It'll get figured out, my doctor won't let me suffer forever.

I want this. Someone needs to make it happen. Damnit!

@Pandora

I seriously DO NOT think we will ever actually change stances on this one, because imnsho, this is a moral issue. AAAH. Not that one viewpoint or another is more moral, but the value of our privacy is a moral. It's not an ethic (in my second not so humble opinion, the only 'ethic' involved in mushing is 'do what your policies say you are going to do'), it's an intrinsic value that is a basis for how somebody views the world, and debate on a forum of this sort is really unlikely to have any real impact. The best thing we can hope for us to understand fully and make informed decisions to include as much room for everyone as possible.

@Miss-Demeanor said:

Damn it... I -knew- that was going to happen.

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

Adding Moire @ Eldritch!

You know, I don't know. In the spur of the moment, I don't know that I'd do anything but ultimately sigh and wish I had the stones to interfere.

That said, if I flip the script and the guy was somebody I did like and things were cool? I would still be able to recognize that the behavior could be taken poorly, and I'm absolutely going to appreciate another lady reaching out to say 'hey, you OK?' I think that's what it boils down to. If you don't load it with expectations or w/e, keep it simple. Even if you don't know her well enough.

I mean, let's look at it like RL. Yeah, she could get terrible and drama at you..or you could be stepping in to give a hand to somebody who REALLY needs it, and I think the latter is worth risking the former, generally. While I think the specific approach might make a difference and stuff...I dunno. I think it's worth a check in even with a stranger.

@Auspice

I don't think you're being unreasonable with the scenario as presented. If everyone has their own desks, there's no reason that she needs to be using it, and there's an expectation of personal space that's being invaded there. People sometimes sit and use my desk at work when I'm not here (for a variety of reasons), but they would always put it back, and they leave me NOTES when they do it. Because my space, polite, and so on.

I can't think of a way to say this without making you worry, but getting a new job should really be a priority, even if it has good things about it. You're bright enough and capable enough that while you might have to go out of industry or something, I can't imagine you won't find somewhere over a longer timeline of looking. Your workplace is terrible, they are treating you terrible, and it does not sound as if anything short of a lawsuit will have any impact on making it better. Your health/anxiety are going to get worse in this environment, and anything that you could do to try and help it get fixed will short-term make health/anxiety yet worse.

ETA: Summarized as: GET OUT OF THERE DAMNIT. I know it's not that simple, I do know, I really really really do (I was there, I had a job that came >< close to killing me, I finally quit on the third heart attack) but you are worth more than what they are treating you like. By a lot.

Like seriously. Is anyone who is participating in this conversation going to be upset/offended if a stranger pages them to say 'hey, you OK?' Like, regardless of what it's about? The only person I can think of that would be bothered by it would a- only be bothered by it because they don't like OOC interaction AT ALL, and b- probably wouldn't even be bothered by this question because it's human caring about another human.

@Auspice

I have never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. Thank you.

A family member just advised me, "don't die" because I laughed so hard.

Hooray! I am so glad.

@Ganymede

My point has been made, in terms of the value and my feelings, yes. I would like to continue with the point of the thread which is to discuss options for what we can do about it. It should not be this hard to have a conversation. I am tired.

ETA: Like, all my fire for the topic got used up in trying to explain why it's even OK for us to talk about this. Hopefully @Pandora will pick the torch back up, but I don't blame her if she doesn't want to, either.

The thing to add to that is that medication sensitivities turn into allergies that can kill you from one dose to the next. If you get a rash this time, it can kill you dead next time. This is not hyperbole or something to not take seriously. Next time you see a doctor, document the sensitivity. Get it in your records. Make them put the red band on you.

It damn well could save your life. Just. Do. It.