Posts made by Thenomain

@highfalutin

Yes.

Just...not on my iPad. Will try to remember to get to this when I get in front of a computer.

I can’t be excited for someone who took a dump on Last Airbender. He’s the freaking Michael Bay of twists. A one twist pony, as it were.

@arkandel said in Good TV:

I'll be honest here. I have no idea how companies like Netflix quantify how successful a show is or how it contributes to their overall bottom of line.

It's 100% internal to their goals, so every company will use different metrics. Consider how successful Mario Run was (not too shabby), but Nintendo canned it because it wasn't successful enough.

@insomniac7809 said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Waking up.

I mean, beats the alternative.

@kanye-qwest said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@arkandel said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

heno's, or Arx staff's

FOR ONCE no one was talking about Arx, and you ruined it. You ruined it!

I tried!*

* (no I didn't)

@rucket said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@doozer said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

Let's not remove the upvote button because the alternative will be upvote gifs. And I will use them.. hard.

@meg

Nope. Just to say there's a nontrivial link.

@meg said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

Spirit Lake is made in part of Arx insiders

I feel the need to correct this, at least. Of the two head staffers on SL, one never played Arx.

As Apos said, the situation immediately made its way to Arx. There's clearly a strong connection between the games, even if in its players or socially between the key players on both sides. The point being that grape vines go through game cultures and the people who play them. And culture informs responses.

@paris said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain You have my shoulder if you need it, and my goodwill even if you don't. I've never taken your needling personally.

Thank you.

Because I take everything personally.

@paris

Oh I know I'm suffering. I don't lash out when I'm not suffering. Sometimes that suffering is the pressure of people on a game casting me in a bad light and not helping me out. (Not that it's their responsibility, but it just makes it worse.)

This is why I beat myself up. I know when I'm a shit-heel. I'm not smart enough to know why it happens, not aware enough to know how to stop it. It's like asking a shy person to stop being shy. I'm sure that cripplingly shy people know they are cripplingly shy. This is not a revelation. But you don't tell someone who's shy that they're not being shunned, it's 100% them, because instead you have sympathy for them, understanding.

This is why I've been mocking the dogpile. I know my anger, and I try to use it for good. I try to help people who are stuck. (And feel silly when the dogpile is right.) When I derail threads with "NO U!!!" or "Yeah, you guys", it's because the person I'm mocking is trying to stifle conversation.

In my older age I'm realizing how much of my life has been suffering from myself. But is this going to help if I tell you? Or KQ? No. In fact, the main criticism from SL staff was that I was putting this on them. This was not intended, and not desired, but because Spirit Lake is made in part of Arx insiders, that this is how the Arxers see me now isn't a surprise.

My unreasonable pain, my occasional spazzing, my Year of the Dog loyalty, my fighting for understanding, for open and honest communication, these are things that are up to people I know to either come to accept or not.

None of this makes it okay, but it's very, very human.

@too-old-for-this said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain The human kind. Honestly? I think we're all more critical of each other on the forum than we normally would be. I don't think there's any one particular reason for it, either, its just a thing that happens for a number of different and changing reasons.

It's Wora Culture:

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And @Paris, I thank you, I really do, but as many people have said, it's up to me to fix. I won't ask for volunteers, I feel horribly bad talking to friends, because they have their own problems. I feel like shit 99% of the time that I'm not good enough, that I'm not calm enough, that I'm not living up to my potential, that I've failed people who have trust in me, and even through all that I've never publicly mentioned any of this on the board because that's not going to change who I am.

Apos has it 90% right. As knowing is only half the battle, and nobody can be reasonably asked upon to help, then one has to at the very least give understanding that people are who they are.

And here we are, with a keyboard and an audience and how easy is it to be to bang out a frustration, with no consideration to what's being said. Even people who are not aged Woraites fall into it, because that's the Done Thing.

I hate it as much as I hate myself for participating in it.

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@rucket said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

You're not alone in noticing a circle jerk of defensive behavior in this whole situation.

Meg was honest about it.

KQ hit the breaks on it.

Saosmash talked to me in private about it.

Apos...was Apos about it.

It's easy to like your friends and think they're the bee's knees. I personally consider the +1 harmless most of the time. As long as nobody takes it seriously, the worst of it is that people congratulate each other.

One of the first things that happened on The Reach was Roanoke removed friends of his from staff for harassing another player for playing blatantly gay characters. Seeing your friends in an honest light is hard.

Everyone I consider a friend has the ability, and has on multiple occasions, told me when I've crossed the line without doing so in defensive of something they like. It's the difference between "you're being shit toward me by attacking something I like" and "you have no right to dislike things I like".

(You were right @skew. Sorry.)

I have just as much right to dislike things as everyone else has the right to like them. Where I was wrong was not in that I had a complaint, it's how the complaint came out.

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The Main Complaint: If you do not know me, do not tell me what I think, what I like, or what I want. You have no intrinsic right to do this to anyone, let alone me. I feel that Spirit Lake staff, in their understandable frustration, betrayed this, which means they may betray this to others.

I may be wrong. I hope to god that I'm wrong. It comes with the context of "understandable frustration", but there you go.

No, you don't get any more proof. Take my word or not. Think critically. Be a responsible netizen.

@meg

Thank you.

It doesn't excuse me, but thank you. What has changed between yesterday and today that people will consider it "bad form" to try to push me?

If we gave that same understanding and consideration from word go, this board wouldn't have the problems that it has.

But thank you. I am friends with two people who lost their parents over the holidays, one on Christmas. My spazz attacks are worth ridicule because in the end what am I getting upset about? Seriously. What kind of idiot am I?

@kanye-qwest said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

My stomach hurts for you. Just stop.

You know, this may be one of the few times I've ever seen you care.

Sincerely: Thank you.

And yes, I finally got enough sense to stop spazzing. I keep telling you I have an easy trigger-button.

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@meg said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

i'm not asking you to prostrate yourself, theno. i'm really not. i don't wanna vent about you. i just don't think you understand how some of your posts have come off implying that people are horrible staffers. and if you think so, i mean, you can. but they are my friends and i am always gonna disagree.

I don't know how I can better say "I was wrong" and "I don't intend for my word to be law".

I do have someone whispering in my ear about HOW I was wrong about this, but they saw the actual post that triggered me. Why would I say this if it weren't true? Because it's about someone else getting me straightened out, not about "OMG I HAVE FRIENDS!" which is my main problem of "prove these people exist" as an ask for evidence.

Is this where we've gotten to in this hobby? On the Internet? Where one person says "I hate this thing!" and everyone who doesn't hate that thing has to defend it to the death?

People have hated things long before the internet came around, and fist-fights and dead Hamiltons have happened over it.

I try not to be that person who defends their actions with RL situations. My cat died in my arms and I'm a wreck. My meds are no longer balancing my anxiety. I panic when cornered. I get information overload and don't know how to defend myself against people whose opinion I think is worth every bit as much as my own.

These are not excuses worth a dime. I can be a shit-lord and I don't know how to fix it. I recognize that I have to fix it (and if giving some fault to shitty actors is bad, then I'll be bad) but I will not ask you people to do so. Hell, I didn't even ask Spirit Lake staff to fix it, no matter what they might think. I got caught in an anxiety-depression loop. I'm sorry. Believe me or not.

My opinion is and always will be but one. That's really the opinion of everyone here on Soapbox.

Okay, done in a moment.

@apos said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

I really think you should just reflect on that

I have been.

You might have your underwear in a twist over that 10%, but your disingenuous harping on it is just drawing this out.

Ditto to @Meg .

(edit) Not making a new thread. Man I want to give you people a place to vent, but I suck, I can't prostrate myself enough for you people, I can't manage to change myself, whatever.

@roz said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain If you feel really strongly that there's something to excuse, you can just post up a log of the offending behavior on an appropriate forum post. Presumably it would speak for itself.

Now this is a reasonable request.

I'm not going to do it because it's done, over with, and it's convenient for my own emotional well-being that if you lot want to keep dogpiling me over it then you'll have to sit there smugly upvoting each other with being right.

And I don't care if you do.

Not because I don't care about what you think but because I want to move on.

I only brought it up OUT OF CONTEXT to explain ONE REASON FOR POSTING. I've entertained responses because I think everyone should have a chance to explain themselves.

Look, do what you want. Think what you want. I don't care.

I'm done.

@apos

And I can give different instances in all three situations where I feel that the staff was acting in an irresponsible, shitty manner.

So...what, that's to be excused?

Going to have to say "no" on that.

@apos said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

but if you repeat the behavior over and over what does it change?

It's like you didn't hear me say this a few posts up.

You're always insightful, but it feels like jumping on the bandwagon to me.

@meg said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

it's just bad form.

Only if I were saying "all these people hate the game". Tacitly I am, but if you're hand-wringing about four people, then I don't know what to tell you.

Also, the bad form use is when people say "several" or "a lot". Four is a specific number. Sure I could be making it up, but if I'm giving you a number I must have the confidence that they exist.

It's not my place to out them. You know what happens to players who want to lie low to questionable staff but get outed? It's not pretty. I'm willing--maybe too eager--to be that person but it's not my place.
see above.

What? No. Not 'see above'. This is a legitimate concern. There is a reason these people told me in private. I consider this point to be the #1 reason not to name names. I disregard your disregard for their online safety.

I am not falling into that. but you saying there is evidence is what i am calling out.

This is fine. I'm not expecting you to believe me. I'm putting it out there to leave a trail of bread crumbs. Again, I think you're reading more into my purpose than there is. I'm trying to get you centered on it, but if you don't then there's only so much I can do about it.

That you were disinvited from a game doesn't amount to 'evidence'.

And I haven't used that as evidence. I'm sorry; have you not read each and every time I said that I deserved it?

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@saosmash : I will contact you in PM so you can let me have it in private. As I said, I deserve it.

@arkandel said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

Not everyone here has the self awareness or nerve to do as much.

If I had that much self-awareness I wouldn't fail the same way over and over.

Praise to those who don't. Emmahsue. Coin. Chime. Yourself. Usually Ganymede. Many others. So many people here who don't make noise, they are the people who should be catered to, they are the heroes, but we don't give them enough credit or voice because they don't use their voice to make waves.

Those people are who we want. Not me. God no.

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@meg said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

I had four people independently contact me warning me away from the people running the game for doing what I accused them of doing,

Man, theno, you know I like you, but name names or don't bring it up. Don't drop shadow figures of people who 'all agree' about this one thing without giving some concrete names and at least some bit of proof.

Three reasons:

1. It's not my place to out them. Let them out themselves.
2. It's not my place to out them. You know what happens to players who want to lie low to questionable staff but get outed? It's not pretty. I'm willing--maybe too eager--to be that person but it's not my place.
3. The post wasn't about the game, it's about my motivation for using the ad thread as a conversational ground.

Saying "pics or it didn't happen" doesn't mean it didn't happen. Seriously. Don't fall into the "prove it" defense because it's just as easily used to dismiss criticism. There's a certain point where the evidence has to stack up, but it won't happen unless someone starts it.

You can't have stone soup until someone puts in the stone and invites the town.

So I think you mis-interpreted my motivations, but hopefully that clears it up.

@faraday said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

Not stomping all over their game advertisement is one way to do this.

Is "stomping all over their game advertisement thread" a hundred posts about what character you'd make for a game? Because coming back to the topic title of this thread: Criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive.

I...mostly tried not to be doom-saying. Mostly. I was surprised when anyone said I had succeeded. I had four people independently contact me warning me away from the people running the game for doing what I accused them of doing, so is it hyperbolic reaction or a topical rant?

I'll pull out the tiresome "agree to disagree" on that, because everyone is going to come at the information from their own experience (which is good) or to shut down the complaint (which is not).

No game creators should get a free pass from criticism. No criticism should get a free pass from criticism. The problem with Soapbox is when it becomes unconstructive, and what we consider unconstructive will always waver.

I had a shitty experience on a game. 90% of that was my fault, but the 10% that wasn't was confirmed by others. Should I not say anything, knowing that there's bad actors lurking on a game? (In before people tell me that I should be better at saying so. Thanks, I know that.)

But you're going to disagree. You see the world as being something that can be polite and calm, and I envy you for it. I get angry when people aren't polite and calm, becoming my own worst enemy, but as criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, I'm going to stand my ground on this one.

Either 'ad and updates by the poster only', or make it part of the constructive forums in general.