So, yours truly is back from outer space with a few lessons learned and more than a couple of hard knocks to my ego. I felt that it may be beneficial, to my own sanity if nothing else, to write down a few things I learned during my sojourn to the asylum.
First: Things outside your control should be dealt with, not worried over.
This was a major one, that caused a rather jagged flaw in my character. Any time something happened over which I held no sway or control I grew frustrated - this compounded by the fact that my own brain was often “working” at odds with what I wanted. Often things will happen to or around us that we cannot control. Instead of worrying about it and fretting, the easiest (and, really, only) thing we can do is to adapt to deal with such things. Be they mental health concerns or players acting in ways we don’t like or expect.
Second: It’s okay to not be okay.
This is hard to learn. In a society that praises productivity and an abstract idea of “perfection” over almost everything else, finding that one suffers or that one is in pain can cause so many problems to one’s self esteem or self worth. These, naturally, compound the original issue until one falls into a spiral more dismal than the Star Wars prequels. Thus the second most important lesson I learned during my time away was that it is okay to, sometimes, not be okay. One should never feel ashamed that they need to ask for help, or take time away, or most anything else that may assist in their coping with their plight.
Third: You are responsible only for yourself.
Naturally this will differ depending on circumstances. Volunteering or taking on a supervisory or administrative (in the MU sense at least) role makes you responsible for others, after a fashion. However ultimately one is only responsible for one’s own happiness and one’s own success and so forth. One cannot be made to overreach themselves and one must always look on their own needs ahead of another’s wants. Are you safe? Are you fed? Are you comfortable? These are all needs and one must look to their own needs first and foremost. Much like a parent being instructed to look after their own oxygen mask in a downed aeroplane before assisting their children: One would not be much use to anyone if one does not take care of their own needs first.
Fourth, and final: You are not the conditions in which you find yourself.
One does not (or at least should not) judge another for their broken leg, or their cancer, or their nationality. One should judge, and thus be judged, by their choices. One does not choose to be ill, physically or mentally. One does choose how they deal with those conditions however. Someone far more experienced than I could probably adapt this to a MU* audience, so long as the main point remains the same: What is thrust upon you is not your fault. What one does about it is.
I hope that this helps some people come to terms with unfairness or suffering.
(Edited to add: Formatting and bold.)
