Posts made by Wretched

@auspice @AeriaNyx Fuuuuuck Welbutrin. Fuck that shit to heck.

So Hi, Depression here. + Anxiety and probably ADHD (diagnosed as a kid, 'inconclusive' because of some fancy test of theirs as an adult).

I was on welbutrin for a bit. They told me to give it time. I gave it months.

it made everything worse. Sure on good days i was good. Except that happened once in a blue moon. Oh the bad days (much more common) my temper was like trhe tide in a storm. All over the fucking place and way more dramatic than ever. Oh and then the sadness. The 'my Rp partner had to go early, clearly they hate me, i am awful, I know, lets cry over imagined slights!' Like full on bawling over nothing.

I should mention, they also were giving me a generic Ritalin at the same time. A drug i told them i took in high school that gave me headaches and made me paranoid. Welbutrin was also something my mother was on and she had a terrible reaction to it.

But hey i quit the ADHD one and stayed on Welbutrin, trying to be compliant, but no, sorry, just FUCK THAT DRUG. I am glad it works for some but... now.

This year i started marijuana. It's not covered by insurance, but for the first time in over a decade i have motivation and ambition again. I have started eating healthier, exercising on the regular, even when inconvenient, to the point that I now crave exercise. As a result my tastes have changed, and while i get the munchies urge, it's usually for better stuff than i used to eat. I've lost ~25lbs.

I havent been to my psych doctor in over a year however, and i kinda have anxiety about that. All my life i got hammered into my head 'Drugz R Bad' I grew up during D.A.R.E., and I fear conversing with my doctor about it, because I am 99% sure she's gonna be 'Stop the weed and try this other drug that'll take months to determine if it works or not and may make you insane again!

Sorry i needed to go off for a bit.

Fuck Welbutrin (unless it works for you then yay but really you are a mutant because fuck that drug)

I almost put it in politics but really, it's just funny.

GOP JESUS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ2L-R8NgrA&t=2s

@ganymede I think this is why my wife wants to see it, yes. I think the only reason it'd be better for her is is Idris Elba showed up too.

@thenomain So my brain immediately starts going 'You know if he keeps being paid he's gonna need a bigger grave site.' Meanwhile images of professional crews carefully excavating dirt before laying bricks of cass around his coffin in an ever increasing structural mass of $$$

@silverfox This is something I struggle with. If someone hits my buttons i start fixating and growling like a Bugs Bunny villain. These days i can USUALLY catch myself when i am doing it, but sometimes I don't and i'm not exactly proud of it. This leads to me second guessing myself a lot before i make decisions/replies. Sitting back and thinking 'Okay is what they are asking/doing/wanting actually bad or do they just rub me wrong?' and often trying to put myself into their perspective or see how i would approach.

I think the worst thing is not that we have flaws, but to not work to fix them when you realize it/have them pointed out. I mean people who have known me for a time know i can be more than a little cantankerous, opinionated, set in my ways. I've bitten peoples heads off over little shit and for most of that I have some remorse. What really gets under my skin is when people are like 'well I'm just an asshole' as if that acceptance and ownership was the only thing required. Well you know i'm a prick so do dee dee, that removes all responsibility from me because by georsh Im an asshole and i said it out loud. It's just a fucking cop out.

@aerianyx I dunno if i have any advice, but this struck close to home. I tolerate a lot of shit, especially from 'friends' because i am adverse to burning bridges, or the thought i might hurt other people. Of course until it hit a line and then i switch it up by becoming salty and spiteful and all growley tooth gnashy. Especially when people are wrong on the internet. It's something that I have been working on myself. I mean sure this person might be my BFF, but telling them that their actions are bothering me... what if they suddenly hate me forever now OH GOD. Or suddenly a switch flicks in me and i forget they exist.

@aria So where does he live so i can burgle,, er I mean admire said map?

@coin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1mhSWTEbrc

Ive been super into Zeal and Ardor lately. Like Blues/Spirituals + Black Metal?

https://soundcloud.com/zeal-and-ardor/a-spiritual

R.A.M. is the thing on my list this year, 16 just isn't cutting it anymore.

I cant get over the steampunk gimmick. I tried, more than once, I just, cannot.

@ganymede @Pyrephox yeah i dont get the major cramps at night anymore, only int he pool. I might try the gatorade thing, they have a 0 sugar one now.

Re: Sweating and not feeling it. Thats the whole reason i swim. i can push myself and not feel like I am dying. It's been amazing for my health and motivation to keep working out. having a gym nearby with a pool open at 2am is great too.

@auspice So i dunno if this is related or will help, but I am diabetic, and i used to get the same fucking thing. Part of it was general ill health, but it happened every time I took insulin right before bed. It was connected (for me) to rapid sugar dropping + being in bed/laying down.

Now mostly I get cramps while swimming, but nowhere near as bad. I used to wake up with either shin or calf cramps and my leg twisting back unable to straighten.

https://www.vulture.com/2018/11/netflix-renews-big-mouth-for-season-3.html

Woo

Also if you are not watching this show, WATCH IT. It's even better watching with friends/partners. I got a watching buddy just for this show.

https://www.polygon.com/2018/11/13/18089574/vampire-the-masquerade-white-wolf-lgbtq-chechnya-apology

@testament Yet somehow those tendrils that go all through your sinuses and tickle your brain are AMAZING... but yeah also pain.

I didn't know him, but i knew the name, Rest In Peace.

ON THE GROUND

I mean honestly, forget even that Blizz's Audience is a PC gaming one, Blizzcon is expensive, people go to that for BIG NEWS. They pay money to go, and usually the big announcements are real things, expansions and whatnot. They have skipped years because they didn't have much to offer that year. So there's people waiting for SOMETHING BIG, I mean remasting old games and all that nostalgia only goes so far. So when the big finale fucking happens and its... a Mobile game? Yeah, I watched the real time twitch chat response, even for people who didn't physically go, it was a YUGE disappoint for fans.

And then there were the people that started attacking the fans for being disappointed. Calling them misogynists for not liking mobile games. Then Blizz mass deleting comments from youtube. It was a disaster.

@arkandel On one hand I agree with what you are saying.

On the other hand i think it's also partially the payers responsibility to have their character 'stay in their lane' based on stats. So If I'm playing a shitty peon that always fucks up, and i do it well, i might have a fuckton of RP partners, but they should still see them as 'bad for the job'. I mean unless I can make my Ghoul the Prince... or the power behind the throne... but then yer not actually playing an incompetent anymore. Incompetent people never reach the top. RIGHT?! See i'm starting to agree with you again.

But of course at the same time, it's really really hard to be 'but i have all the stats I should be the leader!' if you cant Rp yer way out of a wet paper bag and every time your PC show up people groan and leave.

@goldfish Sometimes i'll even play with some metapose if i know my character is being a dick.

"<Some assholish statement>" Did he just? ... yes, yes he just said that, with a straight face even, he's gotta be sarcastic right? RIGHT? Alas, No, Grover is just a prick, apparently.