RL Anger

[Ghost]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

So someone - a woman - on my Facebook posted this video of a woman being held down in a chair by a handful of men while they rubbed her lips with lime and then force-fed her a shot of tequila. According to my friend this "how the family plays" and that it was because she'd agreed to do the shot but then backed out.

She could not understand why I had such a horrified and angry reaction to the video.

...was it expensive tequila?

[Cupcake]

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

So someone - a woman - on my Facebook posted this video of a woman being held down in a chair by a handful of men while they rubbed her lips with lime and then force-fed her a shot of tequila. According to my friend this "how the family plays" and that it was because she'd agreed to do the shot but then backed out.

She could not understand why I had such a horrified and angry reaction to the video.

...was it expensive tequila?

I'm glad you can find the humor in women being physically assaulted! There's not enough of that kind of humor these days.

Edited to add: This wasn't some cutesie college game thing. These man were holding her down and prying her mouth open with their fingers. She was not enjoying herself by any stretch of the imagination.

[Auspice]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

So overall I'll be $75 'up' from where I have been.

Do you mean $75 up per week?

Per month. (That's after factoring the cost of a monthly bus pass, mind.)

[Ghost]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

So someone - a woman - on my Facebook posted this video of a woman being held down in a chair by a handful of men while they rubbed her lips with lime and then force-fed her a shot of tequila. According to my friend this "how the family plays" and that it was because she'd agreed to do the shot but then backed out.

She could not understand why I had such a horrified and angry reaction to the video.

...was it expensive tequila?

I'm glad you can find the humor in women being physically assaulted! There's not enough of that kind of humor these days.

Right, because I was clearly joking about the abuse as being something hilarious.

Don't start with the high horse thing.

[Ghost]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

Edited to add: This wasn't some cutesie college game thing. These man were holding her down and prying her mouth open with their fingers. She was not enjoying herself by any stretch of the imagination.

And yes, thats fucked up and I hope those people wind up in front of cops.

[Cupcake]

Nothing about it was funny. Nothing. You want to call that high horse, you do you.

[Ghost]

I'm gonna step out of this conversation and not deal with you. Cheers.

[Meg]

Sometimes making jokes about a pervasive culture that is literally hurting and killing people is not the right choice to make.

It doesn't help the problem. We don't need to laugh about it. Not wanting it lessened with humor isn't a high horse.

[Roz]

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

So someone - a woman - on my Facebook posted this video of a woman being held down in a chair by a handful of men while they rubbed her lips with lime and then force-fed her a shot of tequila. According to my friend this "how the family plays" and that it was because she'd agreed to do the shot but then backed out.

She could not understand why I had such a horrified and angry reaction to the video.

...was it expensive tequila?

I'm glad you can find the humor in women being physically assaulted! There's not enough of that kind of humor these days.

Right, because I was clearly joking about the abuse as being something hilarious.

Don't start with the high horse thing.

I don't think that you think abuse is actually funny, but you did opt for a joking response to a post about an abusive event. It's not that weird for people to be put off by that.

[Ghost]

@Roz Right, that's why I'm stepping back before it turns into a thing.

I'm not looking to make a comment I made in the spirit of sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying to turn into myself or anyone being an outlet for the justifiable anger that should be felt from seeing that kind of abuse taking place.

My joke wasn't intended to make light of the abuse, I didn't make that clear, and in the interest of keeping things copacetic I'm stepping back from this thread for a bit.

I apologize if my joke, intention or not, was offensive to @Cupcake or anyone.

Carry on and have a better day. This week has been a nightmare so far.

[Misadventure]

Last Wednesday, my oldest friends father passed away suddenly and she is devastated.
Last Thursday my cousin, who is like a brother to me, lost his son to suicide.
Last Friday my wife dealt with her first patient that was all hers dying while she was there preparing the family.
I didn't have the heart to tell her about Las Vegas when I said good bye to her at 6am.

[reimesu]

@Ghost You did it again. Congratulations. @Cupcake makes a post, you go after her in an asshole way. You get called on it. Then you half-ass an apology.

An apology doesn't look like "I'm sorry if I offended you." It goes "I'm sorry, I was an ass. I'll try to do better."

Do better. Also, quit going after @Cupcake when she says something. If you don't like her, don't fucking respond.

[Ghost]

@reimesu and yet in another thread we've been peacefully discussing whether or not someone gave personally identifying information about VASpider.

Stop trying to fabricate a spat.

[reimesu]

It's an observation. Cupcake is your favorite punching bag and you can't apologize for shit. Do better, if you want to ride your high horse. Especially because this is the thread about a video of physical assault, the one about VASpider's personal info is on the Hog Pit. This ain't it. Nice try, though.

[Ghost]

@reimesu Look, you're her RL roommate and I see what you're trying to do, here. I stepped back and am not taking things to the personal level with her, and for whatever reason you've felt the need to get involved, I don't appreciate you taking an opportunity to try to make things personal.

She's your friend. I get it.

Her and I don't see eye to eye on all points, but let's not turn this into some kind of super personal attack internet drama. I made a dark humor joke out of context and backed out of the topic, and you're here trying to stir shit. We've maintained a respectful rapport for some time and I toed a level of discomfort, admitted to it, and stepped aside.

Enjoy your evening. You're looking for a fight. You're not going to get it.

[Cupcake]

@Ghost Two posts is not a discussion, and your reply came hastily after two other people swung in and told you that what you said was upsetting and offensive.

She's not fabricating a spat. I have seen you frame things in such a way as to imply that others (read: Me) are being completely unreasonable and YOU are the rational one before you walk away. And at that point, anything that could be said has been effectively neutralized, because it's now framed in the idea that further pursuit of the topic makes the person you're talking about full of the cray. It's been this way for months, and the frequency with which you respond to my post with a negative angle and/or upvote posts that focus on attacking me haven't escaped notice either.

With regard to apologies, there's a whole thread dedicated to the structure of a sincere apology. @reimesu is correct, one of the criteria for apologies includes not using the word if.

Believe it or not, I am genuinely not interested in fighting with you. But I've also bitten my tongue on this repeated pattern of behavior and I'm at the point where it's either address it or let it fester. So please. If I bother you so much, if you think I'm right up there with VASpider or whatever it is you think...just leave me alone, I'll leave you alone, and everything will be swell.

[Sunny]

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

I'm gonna step out of this conversation and not deal with you. Cheers.

Emphasis mine. I noticed, too.

[WTFE]

@Ghost: I don't know anything about you except what I see here in MSB. I don't know anything about @Cupcake beyond what I see here in MSB. I get that you have some kind of history with @Cupcake, but honestly dude? You're coming across as quite likely the biggest asshole this dysfunctional community has seen since the glory days of Mr. Bane.

You're being compared to Mr. Bane. You're not coming out as clearly better. You may want to reconsider how you do things.

[reimesu]

@Ghost

It's not just me. We are calling you on your behavior. You don't have to change it, but if you don't, you don't get to act hurt when called on it. This isn't about @Cupcake being my roommate, this is about the fact that you do this behavior constantly and then act shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU when someone calls you on it.

No one's impressed by the pearl-clutching when you're the one doing the original behavior, and less than impressed when you try to behave like you weren't being offensive. It's even more pathetic when you try to claim it's a different thread altogether, something I noticed you failed to address. Do better.

[Ghost]

@WTFE I think that there's been a misunderstanding about intent and something a bit more complicated here, but I've also been around this environment long enough to understand that trying to fight these things tends to cause more damage than taking a step back. So I'm just going to lay it out and truly take a step back from this in whatever dogpile shape it takes on.

While I'm not personally a fan of Cupcake for my own reasons, my response to her post here wasn't meant to be antagonistic and was in poor taste. I have no intention of being antagonistic towards her, nor anyone, but I also have really no intention of fighting against all of these theories about intent or what I meant or why I upvoted this or that, because truly, it's all gray area and it all just comes down to hearsay.

Now, even though I have my own personal reasons for not seeing eye to eye with Cupcake on a number of things, I'm not making things personal, or slandering, or throwing shit, or anything to that matter.

If what is wanted in this situation is not some kind of personal issue or antagonism, I don't think that name-calling and these theorized judgments is going to make the situation any better or deal with it in any meaningful way.

If Cupcake prefers that I butt out of topics she seems to be really digging in on? I'll totally honor that request. I've apologized for the off-color joke I made in response to the video she described, which truly was (when I wrote it) in the "WTF" sarcastic light, and not in any way intended to be laughing at abuse towards women or anyone.

Sometimes people don't get along, but the best I can do despite all of these interesting theories is assure you that my original intention was to no way jab at her, and that is still not my intention as I write this.

Now, if Cupcake would like to discuss this without turning this into a localized dogpiling session and work towards some kind of reasonable, lasting understanding, then please...shoot me a PM. I'm not in any sort of dick mode. I truly don't want any sort of conflict, but I'm honestly not going to partake in some kind of public shaming or dog-piling session that seems to have more of a purpose in causing damage and throwing shame than it does have more of a mature, truly peace-seeking result.

If you'd like to chat, Cupcake, hit me up, but on my mother's honor, I wasn't trying to fuck with you, and I'm not going to try to fuck with you.

Have a nice night.