Dealing with Staff
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How do you, as a player, deal with a member of staff that you have a very negative interaction with. Especially when you have asked that said staff refer requests to another member of staff to ensure some level of impartiality but are flat out refused?
Sure I can leave the game, but to me that means they win, and while that might be the end result, I would prefer to avoid it.
Pay no attention to me. I'm old, jaded and generally unfriendly. I am prone to fits of stupidity, but I am still unique, just like everyone else. ~~ Current President of the Anti-Faraday fan club.
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Keep everything terse, brief, specific.
Do not give more information than necessary to get what you want.
Do not ask questions other than to get specifically what you want.
Ask for examples created by others.
Don't ask for other staff unless you both get on each others nerves without meaning to.
Have another player, that gets along with each of you, translate for you. Not live, in writing.
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In addition to Misadventure's list, an important one I've found is not to move goalposts. Once they're dealing with you, don't try to squeeze in a few more things in that interaction.
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When the situation has been turned into one about 'winning' there is no 'dealing with staff' that is going to happen. That tone will always get through, and that will remove any ability for any sort of repair or positive working things out or anything.
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@Seamus said in Dealing with Staff:
Sure I can leave the game, but to me that means they win, and while that might be the end result, I would prefer to avoid it.
In this negotiation, they have nothing to lose and you have everything to gain. There is no victory to be had here.
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@Sunny It's not about winning. This particular staffer does not like me at all. it is very clear in their interactions with me. So I'm trying to figure out away to continue to play.
Pay no attention to me. I'm old, jaded and generally unfriendly. I am prone to fits of stupidity, but I am still unique, just like everyone else. ~~ Current President of the Anti-Faraday fan club.
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@Seamus said in Dealing with Staff:
Sure I can leave the game, but to me that means they win
With the attitude that you displayed there, plus the one you've used to respond, there is no fixing the situation. Seriously. The attitude you are showing here is going to shoot you in the foot and there is no advice I can give that is helpful. I am not saying this to be a dick, I am answering your question. What can you do? Change your attitude, to start.
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You don't need to be friends with the staffer.
You just need to communicate clearly what you need, and they need to do so in return.
Do not focus on anything but getting what you need, and what they need from you to make it happen.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Misadventure This is the plan going forward. Thus removing the need for the staffer to interact with me outside of the bare bones requirements.
@Sunny I'm not sure what attitude I have shown in my one single reply. But thank you for the advice.
Pay no attention to me. I'm old, jaded and generally unfriendly. I am prone to fits of stupidity, but I am still unique, just like everyone else. ~~ Current President of the Anti-Faraday fan club.
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@Seamus said in Dealing with Staff:
How do you, as a player, deal with a member of staff that you have a very negative interaction with.
A) Make a thread on MU soapbox denouncing them as hitler incarnate. The more people who know about the tragedy, the better!
B) Meta grudge them on the next game you find them on. You'll find some thinly veiled justification to pull off that PK and when you do you'll feel amazing.
That's all you can do. The staff/player relationship has always been one where where the staff member wears the pants.
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@Seamus said in Dealing with Staff:
@Sunny I'm not sure what attitude I have shown in my one single reply. But thank you for the advice.
Dude. You had the specific attitude pointed out to you: (emphasis mine)
Sure I can leave the game, but to me that means they win, and while that might be the end result, I would prefer to avoid it.
While you have that "I must WIN" attitude there is no hope at all for you to coexist peacefully, if uneasily, with that staffer. And in the end the staffer holds the kings, the queens, the aces, and the left and right bauer. You cannot win.
It's not about winning. This particular staffer does not like me at all. it is very clear in their interactions with me. So I'm trying to figure out away to continue to play.
Sure I can leave the game, but to me that means they win, and while that might be the end result, I would prefer to avoid it.
While you're at it, would you please make up your fucking mind? I'm getting a headache.
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@WTFE said in Dealing with Staff:
While you have that "I must WIN" attitude there is no hope at all for you to coexist peacefully
I have to agree with this. This statement, to me, says very clearly that while you might not be the whole problem, you are least part of the problem. The fact that "winning" comes to your mind in the situation at all strongly suggest it, and it's likely that the first thing you need to do is stop being part of the problem.
Your original question was this:
How do you, as a player, deal with a member of staff that you have a very negative interaction with.
To be a bit blunt, the answer to this question is to be a mature adult. You do that by either removing yourself from the situation (by leaving the game), or put your feelings aside and deal with them in a straightforward, polite, professional manner that leaves no room for anyone to criticize your behavior. At that point the ball is in their court, and if that doesn't work then your choices are to bring the evidence of their misconduct to someone who can do something about it (if that person exists), to leave, or accept that whatever they're doing is something you'll have to deal with if you choose to stay.
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If you want to keep playing there, lose the attitude. Then do all your communicating with staff via jobs. If the staffer is letting his dislike of you color his duties, it'll be evident and you can then file a complaint.
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@TNP said in Dealing with Staff:
If you want to keep playing there, lose the attitude. Then do all your communicating with staff via jobs. If the staffer is letting his dislike of you color his duties, it'll be evident and you can then file a complaint.
And on this point, being a staffer who has dealt with trouble players, don't try to bait the staffer by appearing to be 'professional' or 'calm' or 'mature' when you're passively baiting them with words or insulting them thinly with personal grudges that can easily be seen by them but you think (and even may be right) the majority of players around you think you are the one being mature.
That DOES and WILL backfire on you, and you'll wind up likely banned and then blackballed for the issue later.
I have seen this behavior on SW: Generations of Darkness. A (few) players thought to be cagey, and got their arses handed to them.
I'm not saying this to be a bastard, I'm just putting it out there that if you go into a situation with revenge, or a grudge, or any feeling of 'winning' you will be the loser.
When you go off to 'teach a lesson' you wind up learning more then the person who you're trying to instruct.
Just putting that out there.
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I feel like people here know more of the story on the jump on the person-ness going on. However, I would like to remind people that sometimes staffers are DICKS. We've run into them. We know they exist. So maybe this person is dealing with one of those.
So what do you do? You log any and all conversation. You deal in jobs and @mail. You tell them that you aren't really comfortable dealing with them without time to process what is being said and time to process your response. NEVER respond in a knee jerk fashion.
Really though, if you have an issue with a staff person it is best to leave the sphere of their influence. I mean you can ask if they are willing to talk it out with another neutral party to figure it out. That would be an adult thing to do, but if it's already at 'winning' or about who is right and who is wrong; at least one side is probably not wanting to sit down to do so.
Then you ask yourself. What are you getting from this game? If it's stress. Leave. Maybe go to another game.
TL;DR - It's hard to give specific advice to vague inquiries.
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To be fair, @Catsmeow, @Seamus has a history. You can see elements of that history in his "that would be letting him win" line….
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Everyone is a dick when they aren't getting their way.
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@Catsmeow said in Dealing with Staff:
However, I would like to remind people that sometimes staffers are DICKS. We've run into them. We know they exist. So maybe this person is dealing with one of those.
People can be dicks, and staff are people, so that's a truism.
Is there a possibility this person is dealing with a dick? Of course. Can the situation be salvaged? It depends on what a satisfactory condition is that works for them; if it's to 'win' - i.e. get their way - it's quite possible the answer is 'no'. Their best bet, that someone else further up the chain of command would give in seems to not have worked.
So what remains is either coming up with a different condition for the outcome to be satisfactory (for example avoiding that staffer, giving up on this particular issue, keeping a low profile, etc) or to keep being pissed off with a game that's supposed to be fun.
But this?
So what do you do? You log any and all conversation. You deal in jobs and @mail. You tell them that you aren't really comfortable dealing with them without time to process what is being said and time to process your response.
This sounds extremely unpleasant to me. In fact if I wanted to come up with a way to make MU*ing unfun 24/7 that'd be it - having to log every conversation, making a point of stating terse comments expressing my dissatisfaction, prolonging an interpersonal grudge.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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At some point, dealing with the bad on a game outweighs enjoying the good.
It is at that point where you should definitely call it quits for the game.
It really is that subjective, and that simple.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
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@Coin said in Dealing with Staff:
At some point, dealing with the bad on a game outweighs enjoying the good.
This is the only calculus for me.
