Mental Health and Grown Up Stuff
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@Auspice said in Mental Health and Grown Up Stuff:
I am curious and I apologize if I'm crossing a line to ask- how would taking an anti-depressant be an issue for an attorney?
Attorneys are notoriously susceptible to drug abuse.
And, yes, they would be anti-depressants.
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I understand the want not to take meds. I have the same issue (not the awesome lawyer thing) but my mother was an addict. So I try to avoid drugs because I don't want to go down that road. So I can understand.
Even if talking/venting doesn't help. I'm cool if it's needed. Even if we are total strangers.
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Meds are scary. Super scary.
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One answer is to be closely observed. By your friends, by your family, by your doctor, and by yourself. The medication is supposed to take a short while to build up and kick in, and in the meantime it's supposed to change how you feel. That's the whole point.
In rare occasions (rare enough that I've heard about it twice), starting on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication triggers thoughts of suicide. I myself thought this was bizarre until I asked someone who unbeknownst to me experienced it, and this is what he said:
The warning is because you're feeling better and you don't want to go back to the way things were.
That is, the medication is working and people are terrified about going back to not feeling well. Depression and anxiety is a kind of pain that we're not good at talking about nor understanding, though this thread is a beautiful example of people doing both.
I want people to at least try. Failure is horrifying, but not trying is also horrifying. "The devil you know" is an alluring asshole, and I'm well in the camp who stays with that bastard far too often.
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Side effects. Some could cost you more than discomfort.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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I was told, by a friend who was on the same meds, that the three weeks of adaptation to the meds (wellbutrin) would be the worst weeks of my life. He said it was like a rollercoaster, but the lows... I think he worded it: 'If you thought things got bad before, they don't come close to how hard it gets.'
He wasn't wrong. Those three weeks were bleak. I didn't get suicidal, but I was more miserable than I have any recollection of ever being.
It was worth it. I feel so, so much better than I did before the meds. My mind is clearer. I've been able to enjoy things again. I don't find myself in that grey place of 'I won't kill myself, but I wouldn't mind if I just didn't wake up tomorrow.'
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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As someone who takes antidepressants, namely Wellbutrin, it has been my experience that the side effects vary from med to med. Some of the side effects for Paxil were unacceptable to me, but the switch to Wellbutrin was pretty easy. Meanwhile, I'm also taking Chantix to quit smoking, which isn't dissimilar to psych meds, and I've been having the craziest, most vivid dreams ever, be they pleasant or nightmarish.
I guess my point is this: Side effects happen. How acceptable or not they are varies from person to person, but also is a bit in the eye of the beholder. When it comes to psych meds, if one person who needs psych meds describes taking meds as "horrible" to someone about to take them, is it at all possible that they are helping craft the experience for the next person down the line?
I know that heavy drugs, like lithium, are said to create a muffling effect on the emotions. I've been told this by people very close to me, but Wellbutrin, for me, has been so...gradual. I started taking the meds, without side effect, but over time the effects were showing, and it was almost as if I didn't see it happening in the meantime. There was no sudden click. On the other end of the spectrum, if I miss my dosage for say, a week, there's no violent exit, either. I just slowly become sick of weird shit, like having to use alarm clocks, in a really childlike way.
Just my 2¢
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
I'm still waiting for whatever side-effect I'm going to get from taking Zoloft. My doctor said if it doesn't affect me well, I might get switched to Lexipro, but I suppose I have another week to see how it works before my next appointment.
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@Ghost said in Mental Health and Grown Up Stuff:
I guess my point is this: Side effects happen. How acceptable or not they are varies from person to person, but also is a bit in the eye of the beholder. When it comes to psych meds, if one person who needs psych meds describes taking meds as "horrible" to someone about to take them, is it at all possible that they are helping craft the experience for the next person down the line?
I have been told I have an addictive personality. That is, when I like something, I fixate a little just to see how far I can take it. It's how, as a young person, I fell into cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, mushrooms, and, well, drugs. Out of all of them, only the cigarettes really stuck, and, even then, only mildly (I tend to smoke with triggers, rather than out of course).
Side effects, especially potential addiction or dependency, are not acceptable to me. It limits my options, I'll admit. But I don't intend to go down a road that I sort of went down before. Last thing I need to do is get hooked onto something like painkillers, because I live in fucking Ohio now.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@Auspice FUCK WELBUTRIN... ugh. I know exactly how you feel. I was a goddamned wreck on a stormy sea with a rollercoaster on it. the lows were so fucking low. After two months of not adjusting I stopped. It could have also need a combination of being on the ADD medicine at the same time. I need to go see my head doctors again to try something new. But i hated that stuff so hard.
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@Ganymede Bear in mind that you can request a non-addictive medicine. The reason I take antidepressants is kind of like in the way some people take blood pressure meds: I have a condition that won't disappear on its own. I'm that guy that refuses to take meds for anything that is not a legitimate medical problem, and then afterwards, I do not take the medicine. Wellbutrin, for me, was explained not as an emotional control crutch, but more so like a needle on a polygraph flying all over the place. That is me, pre-wellbutrin. The medication doesn't alter my thought, but it helps me to conceptualize my incoming input within a more acceptable meter, without so many highs or lows.
Think of it like tuning an instrument, using a non-addictive means. Any doctor should be able to consult you on your concerns.
Other options? In theory, things like meditation, exercise, diet have been linked to no longer needing meds because the chemical end-result of these activities on the body acts as a buffer. You really can train yourself to strengthen against a whole array of emotional/brain chemistry handicaps.
Like any handicap, though, some can be overcome with practice, and some need medicine and practice.
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
@Wretched It was about three weeks and then there was a month of feeling unstable, but there was a lot of shit going on in my life at the time, too (like finding a place to live, ugh). So I know those few weeks were def. the wellbutrin.
I had a lot of the other side effects, too. Increased acne, for one. And a metallic taste in my mouth, for two. But after a month, month and a half, it all cleared up.
I don't get really bad withdraw when I miss a dose (tho I usually, that evening, go 'oh shit I forgot to take it that's why I've been emotionally miserable today). I was on Effexor at one time and if I missed a dose... within the hour I'd have migraines and vertigo so bad I couldn't function.
Most anti-depressants have no effect on me at all. I think it's because so many now focus on boosting seratonin... the Wellbutrin, tho, is a blocker. And those def. work better (as a teenager, I was on one called ascendin... It managed both my OCD and depression, but then it stopped being available in the US).
And like @Ghost says... It's a treatment. I don't see it as an addictive or gateway thing. Hell, I smoke less weed now than I did before it. Drink less, too. To me, the wellbutrin is the same as the meds for my blood pressure, thyroid... it keeps me healthy and alive and there's no shame in it.
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I'm not gonna lie; I love vicodin.I don't take it because I don't want to be permanently on meds, but when I take it? I feel sane, normal, rational, and able to function without excess energy or sluggish depression.
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@Ghost said in Mental Health and Grown Up Stuff:
Think of it like tuning an instrument, using a non-addictive means. Any doctor should be able to consult you on your concerns.
Don't confuse my reluctance or reticence to a comment on whether I think drugs are a crutch or not. My partner takes anti-anxiety medication and sleep aids. I understand the stigma; I understand the need.
But I haven't met a doctor yet who can relieve my albeit-fearful concerns of addiction.
I exercise. I eat a healthy diet. I have activities. But, yes: I have a concern that no doctor -- not even my brother -- has been able to adequately reassure me on.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@Ganymede I think it's awesome that you're setting your priorities, questions, etc. That's so good to do, and you should be proud of that. Doing something about it, even if it's asking questions on a forum, seeing a doctor, asking questions to doctors, is so much better than doing nothing, yeah?
Good for you.
You'll get there. It's just about defining your preferred quality of life, and if concerns about meds is a part of that, it's still part of the definition.
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@Misadventure said in Mental Health and Grown Up Stuff:
Side effects. Some could cost you more than discomfort.
This.
I have 'as needed' Xanax. When I need it, I fucking need it. It is a great help in times of over the top intense anxiety.
I would not touch it with a bargepole outside of those moments, because the side effect I get is... well, it's brutal. (And for the folks with anxiety considering something, putting this here as a generic 'be aware this could happen', but bear in mind this happens and I still say it's worth it when the need is there.)
I get nightmares.
I get fucked up nightmares.
I get holy shit all the angst I was spared while I wasn't hyperventilating into a bag or running around like the sky was actually falling got stored up to come and get me in my fucking sleep nightmares.
We are talking the meanest motherfucking nightmares to ever be mean, with every possible low blow to the ego, self-esteem, etc. that could possibly be mustered.
We are not talking about 'you show up to school naked and forgot your class presentation', it's more 'you show up to a critical business opportunity that if you don't magically make it work you will go bankrupt, the people helping you -- namely your husband and your mother -- are occupied because your husband is off in the broom closet fucking that friend of yours who stole all of your boyfriends in high school after finishing up with your current bestie, your current bestie chases off the customers yelling at you for not warning him that she was like that while your mother clucks and shakes her head and says it's all because you're a fat girl and you should beg to get him back when she's done with him but you're still going to hell because her church buddies said so, and by the way, the building is now on fire and the door is blocked.'
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My brain is spectacularly mean to me the moment I fall asleep after having taken a Xanax that day. I would wish that side effect on no one -- but I do want to let folks know what I mean when I say, 'yeah, uh, see how you do on the nightmares with it, they're not a joke'.
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Thankfully, Xanax doesn't do that to me. tbh, the only thing that'd keep me in the boat of 'only take as needed' is it knocks me on my ass. I have to lie down and sleep and that's on half a pill.
But there are days where I wish I had a 'script again. Because the anxiety gets so bad I get severe chest pains. Being able to take something that'd relax me into sleep would be glorious.
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I want to upvote this whole thread. All of it. Not to sound patronizing, because I do have my own mental health issues with which I struggle (which remain mostly undiagnosed so I don't usually talk about them) - but because it's nice to see people in a shared community coming together to listen and be, well - a community. There's a lot of cesspools and personal hells on the internet (and everywhere else) so it's nice to see people being cool and using it to actually connect and help each other. And it's pretty great to see people in any sort of community recognizing they need help and getting the help they need without shame, because there's not a one of us who hasn't needed help at one point or another. So anyway. Upvotes all around and thanks for being a bright spot in my day.
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My personal reluctance comes from personal stuff. However, that said. If you talk to anyone that I have spotted with an illness or has one; my first question to them is "Have you seen a doctor for medication?"
There is NOTHING wrong with taking meds. I have tried them but they trigger all sorts of bad in me emotionally and I just react wrong. I even continue to try.
Zoloft made me unstable and insane. I went through my month and a half and the whole time I felt like I was losing my mind. I told my doctor and they agreed with me to try talk therapy and not drugs for now. I got the suicidal reaction but only because I felt like I was taking a drug that was supposed to help me; and it made it worse. So how was my life going to be, blah blah.
As well I have the added fun (and others do too) of having MS that completely alters my brain chemistry because of the lesions on certain parts. There are sadly not a lot of medications that also have an MS study. So some anti-depressants/anti-anxiety flare my MS. Some have the opposite affect because oh that area of my brain is affected in a way that wasn't expected.
Brains are awesome but they are weird.
In conclusion - I agree that everyone should go the medication route if they can. Also, if they can't, they should find what works for them.
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I take Xanax but only because I have a serious fear of flying but have to fly alot for my job and getting turnt on an airplane to cope is a bad plan.
Otherwise, on flights where I am not medicated or sauced - I am a fucking basketcase.
One of my long running concerns about Xanax is how well it works with me and I can easily see myself taking it when ever I went to drop in and drop out on my life. So, I basically treat it as the special treat I get to have only when strapped into a metal tube hurdling through the air. Otherwise, its made of poison.
Else, I'd be swallowing it by the wee fistfull all the time.
