Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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My son's wedding is Saturday, at 4pm, outdoors in the middle of the northeastern Nevadan high desert during what's apparently going to be the next heat bubble mess. I've been stressing out a lot over this, for various reasons, and while I'm absolutely dreading it I'm also looking forward to it hoping after it finally ends, I'll feel like I have a modicum of my sanity back. That's the tl;dr.
***Serious powerleveling and unraveling. Do not pass GO if you don't like whining.***
click to showI'm not a praying woman, and I don't believe in gods but I really do hope that I make it through this without embarrassing my son, getting insulted by my daughter, and with some tenuous grasp on my quickly eroding sanity.
ETA: Fucking Gs.
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Fuck 'em.
I mean, really. That day, for you, is about your son fulfilling a life goal. If they don't approve of the dress or the beliefs or the whatever-else, that doesn't affect you in the slightest. A few hours later, you will be back living your life the way you choose and your son will be off with his new wife and that's all you went there to do anyway.
Everything else is just details, and if those don't go exactly right, then whatever. Life happens.
Don't sweat it.
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I know how it feels to just HATE how you look in something or dread going to something where there might be drama. Like Derp said, fuck them.
You are the amazing person you are. You look how you look. Rock that. If you are uncomfortable in the dress, it's only for a few hours and besides, there is even a song that says vanilla is the finest of the flavors. So you be that vanilla cone! You be the best dessert in a desert you can be.
As to the people. Yep, fuck em. Don't give any of them the power of how you feel about you. I know it's hard, but sometimes people suck. You go to that wedding. You watch your son marry the person he's chosen. You dance in that moment to that song and you enjoy being included, being there, and the celebration of love. Don't worry about the other details. They won't be remembered when you look back on the memory, just that you were there and the happiness will.
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@wretched said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@wizz If it helps, my wife and i got engaged like 5 months into our relationship, and married the same year. I moved in with her like...3 weeks after meeting her? This year will be our 15th anniversary.
I'm totally aware that there are relationships that work out like that (happy upcoming anniversary BTW!) but like...frankly that's just a pretty dramatic roll of the dice as to whether it will, if you have that little experience with someone.
️And given how young my sis is, how completely skewed her values and priorities have been re: previous relationships thanks to a lot of trauma and culty religious stuff, and how little she and we actually know this dude (aside from an episode where he lost his mind at her and was very verbally abusive in a way that just seemed absolutely bonkers)...I am stressed out about it and have very little faith things will go well.
We'll see.
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@eye8urcake Just to be clear, have you asked your son if he cares if you return fire, should they start something? I ask because I don't know if he'd get vicarious pleasure out of that.
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@greenflashlight said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@eye8urcake Just to be clear, have you asked your son if he cares if you return fire, should they start something? I ask because I don't know if he'd get vicarious pleasure out of that.
I don't know, either, to be honest. I have not asked him, it's awkward to bring up. He's friendly enough with them that he goes on family trips and the like, and they have a very positive relationship despite my son being, generally speaking, as liberal as we are - I assume he just doesn't discuss these things with them.
I also know that if they do come at me in any way other than passive-aggressive that he knows there will be one of two outcomes - I either unload on them, or hubs and I just make a quiet exit.
Chances are, it'd be the former and not the latter, but one of the major things stressing me out is that I actually like his wife - we've worked hard to overcome a lot of awkwardness between us, I was there for her when she had some post-partum issues, and I really don't want to be the one who shits on her special day. I know my temperament, and I know my recent stress-level, and I know I'm building it up more in my head than I ought to because of that.
Likely, it will be a nice, pleasant day made only mildly weird by me having to bring a crippled chicken in his cat-carrier house and me and my estranged daughter pretending to be nice to each other. BUT I WORRY SO MUCH.
ETA Also, you guys are such a weirdly good support system to have for things like that, that I feel are weird things 'normal' people won't get. You have a way of breaking things down that brings me up for air from deep within anxiety spirals. Thank you all for that.
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I hate the dating scene.
That is all.
Ceterum autem censeo Carthaginem esse delendam
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Re: dice of life
I know a couple who met in France, and they married so she could come to the US, and they are happily married now.
So yeah, it can happen the good way too.
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My uncle who just lost his wife now has fucking delta, isn't getting out of bed, isn't eating, isn't drinking... He's in his late 60s and smoked most his life.
Fuck everything
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@cobalt Words seem insufficient. I'm so sorry. I hope for the best.
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Oof. I'm sorry. Thinking about you and yours.
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So glad that MU*ing has taught me to always, always keep the receipts if someone is being shitty.
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Did you get a refund?
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@selira said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
So glad that MU*ing has taught me to always, always keep the receipts if someone is being shitty.
I hope they got defensive and accused you of being an obsessive stalker for it because that's by far my favourite part of showing someone irrefutable proof of their own lies.
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As I try to clean the things that can happen to a toilet when no men live in the house to periodically lift the seat and expose what's going on down there, I am forced to conclude that my stance on gay rights has been wrong this whole time and the Bible was right.
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I hate the dating scene too. Feel free to trade stories.
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I'm delivering a pizza to the Children's of Alabama... And the woman who ordered it is in another city. She's ordering it for her grandchild who has been in child ICU since Sunday with covid:/
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@cobalt I'm choosing to ignore all the terrible things in that story to glad the kid has such a thoughtful gran, and that the kid is apparently able to eat (when I had COVID, I slept too much to eat a pizza).
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When you buy one of those handy pre-portioned bags of broccoli and cauliflower for that bean salad you like to make, get it home, and notice it expired a month before you bought the goddamn thing.
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@greenflashlight said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
When you buy one of those handy pre-portioned bags of broccoli and cauliflower for that bean salad you like to make, get it home, and notice it expired a month before you bought the goddamn thing.
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Ew.
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Definitely go back to the store and bitch about that. I've done that before with milk that went sour several days before the printed expiration date because that told me that their food storage practices - whether in shipping or in store - were unsafe and could make people super sick.
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