RL Anger
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@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Hell, just copying the previous out of my text file was as easy as throwing the cursor somewhere in the middle, hitting cmd-b a few times, then shift-option-leftarrow.
Get me that in SublimeText or Atom and I'm there like a dudebro on vape.
Sublime is extensible via Python. Anything I need in Sublime, I can write a Python script for. That fact is slowly winning me over, since I can create any missing feature I need.
How much do you want to add the functionality I'm asking for?
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
Anyway, no one gets the authority of the final word, especially when the final word is nasty. I will stop at the point where there are no factual arguments left to make or, like most people, I get bored or RL calls me back.
Okay but...
Not seeking a resolution but wanting the last word equals...
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@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Hell, just copying the previous out of my text file was as easy as throwing the cursor somewhere in the middle, hitting cmd-b a few times, then shift-option-leftarrow.
Get me that in SublimeText or Atom and I'm there like a dudebro on vape.
Sublime is extensible via Python. Anything I need in Sublime, I can write a Python script for. That fact is slowly winning me over, since I can create any missing feature I need.
How much do you want to add the functionality I'm asking for?
Since we're in philosophy mode: "Write a script in Python, implement one feature request for a man. Make a man learn to write Python his own damn self, all his feature requests are attainable forever."
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Hell, just copying the previous out of my text file was as easy as throwing the cursor somewhere in the middle, hitting cmd-b a few times, then shift-option-leftarrow.
Get me that in SublimeText or Atom and I'm there like a dudebro on vape.
Sublime is extensible via Python. Anything I need in Sublime, I can write a Python script for. That fact is slowly winning me over, since I can create any missing feature I need.
How much do you want to add the functionality I'm asking for?
Since we're in philosophy mode: "Write a script in Python, implement one feature request for a man. Make a man learn to write Python his own damn self, all his feature requests are attainable forever."
Then I shall counter with:
Give a cat a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a cat to fish and he'll complain that you didn't give him another fish.
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While I did apologize and did mean that, because I had no desire to hurt your feelings.
I just keep being tagged.
I didn't come in swinging.
Will you please just let this go and stop tagging me.
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RL Peeve:
People, you know, seeing your name come up as referenced does not mean you have to respond. You are adults. You can ignore things just as well as anyone else, only better because you control your own actions.
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kk I meant my apology to you, too. (And not tagged, as requested.)
When I say 'come in swinging', I mean 'the accusation was in the initial post here', and we've settled that just fine, I hope. That's all. It's also not intended to be anything other than that. I don't intend for it to be taken as anything else, or some additional accusation of any kind.
Oh fucking well.
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@surreality said in RL Anger:
@kitteh Here's the problem: I wasn't complaining that I am not getting attention at all times. I don't want attention at all, most of the time, let alone for the shit I consider 'high value victimization'. As stated elsewhere: this is not the place for that, full stop.
The best way for you to not get attention would have been to... not jump into our discussion and tell us it annoyed you. The best way not garner attention for your other incidents would be to not tell us they are more important than what we're talking about.
The only 'high value victimization' I have discussed on the forum here was in a fight with @Ghost a few months back, and, ironically enough, in discussion with @shangexile here a page or so back. You will, ideally, notice I'm not asking people to feel sad or offer me headpats or sympathy or support for any of it, and that it's relevant only in context of: "Dude, you knew about this stuff... " which is relevant to that interaction -- which, itself, resolved with mutual empathy, compassion, and lots of uncomfortable honesty all around. I am not going to dig around for the exchange with @Ghost to find the reference, but I'm not asking anybody for cuddles or sad-eyed kittens there, either.
I didn't know anything about your or your interaction with him. I only knew you from a few previously pretty sympathetic interactions. Which is why your whole 'I am part of the enemy tribe that is showing up here to get me, just wait, more are coming totally for realz!!!!!' is bizarre. The reason I somewhat side eye your professed desire for empathy/solidarity is your habit of attacking those who offer it to you.
Calling me a harasser is extremely offensive to me.
Saying my mindset is ugly and implying that I'm supportive of harassers or at least callous toward their victims is offensive to me, and also lolzy as fuck. Shockingly, you get what you give.
I am asking you to leave me the fuck alone at this point. You will notice there are no insults to you in this post, despite plenty in yours to me, and it's that way for a reason.
Leave. Me. Alone.
I. Was. Leaving. You. Alone.
And then, you know, you decided to ping me to call my mentality ugly. So instead of continuing your babe in the woods "oh woe why is this happening to me!!!" routine that you have accused others of, you will own up to starting shit. Beyond that I still really have no beef.
@Ghost I realize. At this point I'm going out for a walk in the park. I am sure @surreality will have her parting words, but maybe I'll be a bit more zen by the time I get back.
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Surreality
We did settle it and then you kept going after me. I really don't understand this at all. I feel like you are still going after me.
Surrealliy "Come in swinging', I mean 'the accusation was in the initial post here', and we've settled that just fine, I hope. "
Then let it go and stop saying I came in swinging or accused you of stuff.
Its sort of a natural human reaction for people to defend themselves when they feel attacked.
I feel like you are still attacking me over this and won't let it go. I felt like the apology was used against me. Like she apologized, so now I can keep saying she did xyz, but apologized for it.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about you still talking about the issue, but this isquite the reaction to it and the reaction is still going on.
I don't understand it. Can't we just let this go?
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@Thenomain (As I catch up on the thread) Love Shattered Starlight. Worth the read, guys! Been following it since it began. It's slow to update, so not a huge time commitment.
...and now I've caught up and seriously, is this still ongoing?
Theno has it right. It is, really, possible to see yourself tagged and not reply. I promise. You see that reply button?Don't click it.
Don't touch your mouse.
Don't press the button.NO TOUCHY FISHY
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It's possible, but we do also have to acknowledge that if you are tagging someone, you want a conversation with them.
What we really should do is all stop both replying and tagging each other at once. Starting...
@Auspice @Thenomain @saosmash @WTFE @Roz @Ghost
Now.
ETA: To be clear, I mean everyone should stop replying to every post, ever. Only new posts. And only new posts without any tags.
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Its sort of a natural human reaction for people to defend themselves when they feel attacked.
There are a lot of situations where 'natural human reaction' is also the worst reaction.
When both sides feel this way, for instance.
Like right now.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
After we worked it out and let go.
She tagged me and said I attacked her and more than once.
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After we worked it out and let go.
She tagged me and said I attacked her and more than once.
Forums have a mental delay. It's also entirely possible that someone else is wrong, and everyone knows they're wrong, and while I understand and appreciate the desire to tell everyone just how wrong they are (I too get caught in this trap), it's possible to simply remind the audience that the accusations are still wrong, and not add to the argument.
By which I mean: This is what I advise, being someone who needs kicked in the head to not get caught in the same 'no you/no you/no you/no you' trap.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
Yeah, I see your point. I probably should have ignored it.
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Yes.
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@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
By which I mean: This is what I advise, being someone who needs kicked in the head to not get caught in the same 'no you/no you/no you/no you' trap.
It's like that whole "no you hang up" bullshit.
LIKE BITCH JUST FUCKING HANG UP THE PHONE BEFORE I CUT YOU.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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no u
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The best way not garner attention for your other incidents would be to not tell us they are more important than what we're talking about.
Here's the problem: I didn't do that. I don't, as I said, have any incidents to even talk about. Seriously. I am not playing anywhere.
I get that you keep thinking that's the case, and I'm not sure how many times I can say, "I don't believe I did that, but it is absolutely not my intention to do that." When you brought it up initially, I said this. I understood where you got the impression from, and made every effort to clarify: that is not my interest or intent. I keep repeating it. It remains true.
I didn't know anything about your or your interaction with him. I only knew you from a few previously pretty sympathetic interactions.
Here's the thing, no snark intended. I don't disagree with people. I disagree with ideas or things people say or do. There are times he and I agree, and there are times we don't.
Multiple times in the previous thread, I said I felt he should just apologize. Multiple times, I asked him to please back down. He may be my friend? But that is not 'blind support of his behavior no matter what that behavior is', that's 'dude, I love you to bits, but please stop/back off/apologize/my bad'.
That is not what I'd call a defense of his actions, would you? No snark here, does that sound like I'm claiming he's in the right and everybody who took issue with it was in the wrong? Of course not. So you can probably imagine how weird it was to keep seeing talk of 'how I was backing the wrong side', I bet. Who wouldn't 'huh?' at that?
My 'side' was this: some people see this as being on par with a racial slur and are profoundly offended by it, and others are not. If you're one of the folks who is not, and you end up saying it around someone who is, you should apologize and respect that person's feelings about the word. The majority of folks in the thread who don't have a problem with the word, myself included, would gladly respect someone's preference about it when it is made known and would apologize for any unintended offense. Ghost needed a bit of a kick in the ass to get there and I had no qualms kicking him about it, even if he didn't actually get there until today. (Sorry not sorry, dude. I still
you.)Which is why your whole 'I am part of the enemy tribe that is showing up here to get me, just wait, more are coming totally for realz!!!!!' is bizarre.
Wait, huh? I don't get this interpretation at all and will ask that you clarify, please.
The point re: factions was, as above, there was apparently a perception that -- despite the repeated boots to ass -- I was solidly behind and supporting Ghost against everyone offended by his actions. I mean, there's a point at which somebody was going on about 'you're on the wrong side here' and whatnot, which was also pretty 'huh?' for the reasons described above.
The only thing we seemingly disagreed about on that actual issue was whether it's universally offensive or not. I don't think there's any disagreement at all re: 'if someone is offended by it, don't say it to/at them and if you find that out by saying it, apologize', obviously. (And that applies to whatever 'it' is, more or less.)
The reason I somewhat side eye your professed desire for empathy/solidarity is your habit of attacking those who offer it to you.
Problem is, I was not asking for empathy or emotional support. You did, absolutely, ask repeatedly, and that is laudable. I get that. I hope other people also see that and know you are a safe person to discuss these issues with if they have one.
I kept telling you then: I don't have a thing of my own here... 'cause I don't. Again... not playing anywhere. No stories to tell, no grand or sweeping tales of unrequited justice, nada. There were a few examples of 'if we're worried about stuff like this, shouldn't we be focusing on this arena of harassment on games more than slapfighting over a word's usage with people as stubbornly entrenched as donkeys on the edges of a cliff?' but there's nothing -- literally nothing -- I am asking for emotional support about that involves an experience on a game.•
When I have those experiences, I am way more interested in finding out if it's something that happens to others, and if it's something we can prevent from happening to anybody else. Any emotional support required -- and honestly... it's a game, I can't rank the game stuff as 'high value' anything on the personal level even if I respect that others might -- I'm going to seek in private, from people I know very well. Essentially, while that offer is appreciated, and I think it's cool you are willing to do that? That's not my interest or focus (even though I'm willing to do that for folks, too).
Calling me a harasser is extremely offensive to me.
Saying my mindset is ugly and implying that I'm supportive of harassers or at least callous toward their victims is offensive to me, and also lolzy as fuck. Shockingly, you get what you give.
'I am not interested in offering help to you and am not surprised nobody else is either' is how I interpreted the quote, and people do absolutely revoke offers of aid all the time (which is, IMO, totally OK).
While I'm not interested in seeking the kind of help you were offering (no offense intended), it looked one heck of a lot like 'you don't deserve any assistance if you need it, because you said 'Fuck you.''
That's not saying you support or encourage harassment. I don't believe you do. 'I'm not surprised nobody gives a shit if it happens to you' ain't a big stretch, though.
And then, you know, you decided to ping me to call my mentality ugly.
Yeah, I find the comment I quoted indicative of some pretty ugly thinking, even with the most generous possible read that's just 'you're so awful it's no surprise nobody cares about your probably overwrought online dramas'.
Bluntly: my 'high value victimization' is nothing that has happened online, and nothing I would be seeking any kind of support for here. It does include multiple rapes, attempted murder, and over a decade of threatening RL local stalking, property damage (not Spider), and physical violence. None of that is mountains being made of molehills, nor is it online drama of any kind.
Some of these things have come up in the past. For instance, in discussions regarding being respectful of subjects that are uncomfortable for fellow players, I've mentioned, "I've had to tell folks to avoid subjects involving choking and strangling, as I would really prefer not to deal with a flashback to someone trying to kill me when I was younger. That would kinda fuck up a scene for everybody." <-- not an ask for 'omg you poor soul!' or some sort of 'my life sucks worse than yours' martyr cred (because who would even want that, right? omg), but as an example of 'people have RL shit sometimes, how do you handle if it it comes up online in RP?' if the discussion is, y'know, 'people have RL shit sometimes, how do you handle it if it comes up in online RP?'
• I don't mind if other people do, but I'm cagey about weird shit, myself. While I am open about some experiences? I'm not super keen on opening up emotionally to folks I do not know extremely well about any current angsts that are going down in the support department. 90% of that is not wanting to burden people here with that kind of thing, and 10% is knowing the rumor mill works overtime in this hobby. That's not an accusation that you're a gossip or untrustworthy, it's 'I don't know this person to know if they would be safe to discuss anything with that I would expect to remain in confidence'. I wouldn't expect anybody to tell me anything like that, either, despite the whole 'private's private' attitude I have about things. (For all anybody knows, I say that and just spout off anyway, after all. They only have my word that I wouldn't.)
kk I am not, in any way, saying you are continuing to do so.
I am relating a sequence of past events. 'A happened, B happened, C happened.'
That is all.
I am in no way trying to insult, malign, or attack you by mentioning that sequence of past events.
I do not think it unreasonable to be several shades of 'huh?' for being told I was being a dick to you for us apologizing to each other, and each of us assuring the other person we were not trying to offend the other. We were trying to stop being dicks to each other, ffs.
But now I'm hearing that I am somehow still attacking you for wondering why us apologizing to each other is me being a dick to KQ, who commented after said apologies were made, and had presumably seen them (since they were the only comments we even made to/about each other in the interim at all).
I don't think this is a terribly weird thing to wonder, y'know? I mean, come on.
Oh fucking well.
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Maybe take a breath, read a book, have a cup of tea, and then come back and re-read. I think you'll find the points other folks are making a lot easier to understand.
