RL Anger

[Ghost]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

I'm pretty sure you cannot horrify me with biology.

Saying that was a mistake. Just sayin.

[Auspice]

@Aria said in RL Anger:

@Auspice -- It was. So at least it sounds normal when you say it out loud. But FFS, couldn't you put Evie on the birth certificate and make all the private jokes you want about her being an adorable little Pokemon? I mean, seriously, at least give the kid a chance at not going through life until age eighteen with her head permanently hung low and a look of mortification every time she has to put her name on paper.

Well, maybe they wanted it to be Evie with a 'moar unique' spelling, like:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/unique-baby-name-spellings_uk_575182dae4b040e3e8197e56

[surreality]

@Ganymede This was a cyst that went over the top batshit. What you're describing about the gland isn't far off, though this wasn't reeking bacterial gloop, just blood and LOTS of plasma. Not the same location, but. It involved being told to 'hold that still for me please?' and feeling the forceps punching at my (holding things) hand from way deep down in flesh, from the inside.

They had pulled over 60ml of the same (blood and plasma, oddly no gloop, which surprised them as much as it did me, thank heavens for small favors?) with needles two weeks ago, and the moment the antibiotics ran out (after not shrinking it any, but at least it wasn't getting worse), it was twice its original size inside two days. This time was the scalpel and the forceps and the stabbing with gauze.

Body horror is weird and just disquieting. I have no problem PMing the details but there's a lot of gross and I don't want to, like, generally squick out the universe.

[Aria]

@Auspice -- Shit like this is why I think Denmark's names register sounds like an increasingly good idea.

18,000 girls names. 15,000 boys names. Choose one. No, you cannot name your baby Adolf Hitler.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

This was a cyst that went over the top batshit. What you're describing about the gland isn't far off, though this wasn't reeking bacterial gloop, just blood and LOTS of plasma.

Good thing it wasn't a hematoma.

I was actually hoping someone would look up bursting Bartholin's glands. Because it's kind of gross mid-coitus, y'know?

[Aria]

@Ganymede -- Didn't need to look it up. Already know what that is. Huzzah, working in medical research/pharmaceuticals for five years.

[Ghost]

When you post a link for your Sarahah.com account on FB and the only brutalistically evangelical-grade social justice warrior you know leaves an anonymous bit of constructive critique about how your ego gets in the way of your friends teaching you the truth about the world and you should be brave enough to trust their wisdom

Man, fuck your agenda-based manipulation weakly disguised as love. If I wanted to join your church and adopt you as my leader I'd have done so years ago.

(Sidenote: This is a guy who is involving in fringe radical groups and got thrown out of my house once for trying to teach my 7 year old that he was born racist for being white to the point my kid got upset. He's one step removed from an evangelical radical, and I'm posting this as a venting point because it has become clear to me now that his self-fulfilling agenda-based leadership ego has clearly taken a front seat to a 14 year friendship)

[Cupcake]

@Ghost Sarahah is pretty much an invitation to let people shit all over you. You offer the opportunity for people to say anything they want to you anonymous and therefore without consequence? People are by and large assholes; what did you think was going to happen?

[Ghost]

@Cupcake I expected a bit of that. I mean, what he did wasn't really shitting on me, but it was more an attempt to make it all about him, how he thinks people should be, and how people should be manipulated into acting how he wants.

It's curious insight, though. It's so clearly him that otherwise I would have just gone HRMM. at it.

I guess what I'm saying is after being friends for 14+ years, when given an anonymous critique/support board like that, it went directly to him platforming his agenda like he's selling timeshares.

PS: I've had some nice things said about me there. If it becomes abusive I'll just close it for comment.

[Paris]

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

it has become clear to me now that his self-fulfilling agenda-based leadership ego has clearly taken a front seat to a 14 year friendship)

Cut him off. I had to do this during my cancer as it triggered a few friends' constant rabid evangelizing against my treatment, for unproven fringe quackery, and on and on. I'm like, look, I'm dying, now is not the time to stress me by telling me my (very kind and compassionate) onc is witholding a cure. These types no longer value you, just their growing craziness. Your friend is dead.

Also, don't let anons comment on you or your shit, it's always drama.

[Ghost]

@Paris Good advice. We had to cut them off during a period of severe high functioning autism issues with our kid and this guy and his friends were like: OMG UR shutting us out because you wont listen to us talk about systemic racism and how to take the Universal Unitarian approach on love, WTF!

No. We had to shut you out because you were repeatedly engaging an autistic 8 year old on an authoritarian level despite us asking you to stop.

Yeah, I'm gonna unfriend. If after 14 years all he's got is your ego is keeping you from joining my church atmosphere, then he is no longer a friend.

[Misadventure]

I'd tell him to check his own ego, and to step down from leadership for a year, say NOTHING about the leadership or direction for a year, and see what he learns. If he can't do that, it's about his ego, and not his God.

[Ghost]

@Misadventure not likely to happen.

His grandmother, who he lives with, is very elderly and dying of dementia.

He once told us that he reads to her at her bedside every night...

...nonfiction books about the statistics of white privilege and it's affects on society.

[Paris]

No better than the street preachers out here, yeah. It's all about mansplaining The Truth (tm) so that he personally can Save You (tm). I hate those types SO MUCH.

[Auspice]

I've mostly gotten lulz on my sarahah.

Like the person who said they can't be friends with someone who actually knows the muffin man. That's the one that made me wish it wasn't anonymous. I wanna give that person a hi5 and buy them a beer.

[Ghost]

@Auspice I got two so far:

1. U R the Bestest (and allegedly not from my SO)

2. BlahBlahBlah you need to trust your friends so that the person who wrote this can feel like he secured a convert BlahBlahImAnEgotisticalWindbag

So, hey, I'm batting 50/50 and have no death threats or admissions of desire yet.

And no...I would sooner liquefy one of my testicles with a tenderizing hammer before posting the link to my Sarahah on here.

[surreality]

@Ghost Sounds like elder abuse to me.

I sincerely hate it when academics try to discuss these subjects in a mixed audience of fellow academics and those who are not. There are certain bits of phrasing -- like the 'all white people are racist' one -- that are conversational shorthand to the people who study the same subject, and the theory is actually entirely reasonable and it isn't even hard to understand. Unfortunately, that shorthand? Unless they already know the underlying theory, the shorthand is so jarring/insulting/off-putting that most people will immediately shut the fuck down and will have absolutely zero interest in what you have to say.

Do not even get me started on 'all heterosexual sex is rape', which is another excellent example of this frustrating failure to communicate in action.

[Ghost]

@surreality Well, he's too egotistical to understand that when his grandmother says she enjoys him reading to her, she probably means: "You could read a cookbook to me for all I care. What is important is the amount of time we spend together."

But the last time I saw him he was going on and on about how she's from a generation of rampant racism and how proud he is that she sees the importance of these facts and that she says she loves him reading the books to her.

Fuck, man, read her Anne of Green Gables and make her final year about time well spent, not educating her about shit she won't need next year.

[Auspice]

@Ghost

The only negative one I've gotten I'm preeeeeeetty sure came from the girl or a friend of the girl who tried to be all petty-McPetty-face about me going to that concert and I called her out publicly about it.

Since it came the day after and I know other people bitched her out over being shitty to me.

And yeah we have too many people like that dude. I've been hovering over 'unfriend' on a guy I know on Facebook for a while except he's almost too fascinating not too. He's in that category of being hella white, but he loves to go on tirades about 'white people,' as if he's somehow exempted himself. Yesterday's rant was 'We had an intelligent black man leading us, so WHITE PEOPLE had to elect a WHITE MAN just as STUPID AS THEMSELVES to FEEL BETTER ABOUT BEING WHITE.'

[Aria]

@Auspice -- Wait, am I not supposed to sigh melodramatically and mutter "fucking white people" under my breath when white people do something that is collectively stupid? Cause we do stupid shit. Like, a lot.