Posts made by Auspice

@aerianyx said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@auspice It always feels so melodramatic to think of or call something I am dealing with 'suffering'. Like, real suffering is a tragedy. I've got a serious case of the weepies-slash-can't-sleepies. But I will definitely call him. Because the not being able to sleep is really not making the anxiety any better.

I super appreciate the advice and the sharing. It really helped me get over the worst part of the day.

Never ever rank yourself against some nebulous other 'person.'
What you are dealing with is hard for you.

Just because someone else may be suffering doesn't lessen your suffering. That's why they (they being your doctor) are there. Someone else always has it worse just like someone else always has it better just like someone else is always making more money just like... you get the point! It's a frame of mind that is a total trap to get into.

Where you're at isn't a place you should stay in just because 'well, other people have it worse.' You're struggling really bad. Your anxiety is making your days hard to get through. That's no good! Your doctor needs to know so they can help you because they're part of your care team.

@aerianyx said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@auspice Yeah, that was my experience with trazadone too. Okay, well, I'll talk to my doc about trying something else. Because I'm just... yeah. Brain weasels.

It can't hurt and your doctor should be aware that you're suffering. Suffering is bad.

@thenomain said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Anxiety and depression are so closely linked that they may have had a more medical reason for the strong suggestion. I prefer doctors tell me why they want to do something, but hey, I've had both good and bad doctors.

Well, in this case it was after a a couple years of being told 'just give it some more time' by multiple doctors it was: 'I think I've given it long enough.' Usually a couple months is plenty enough to know if a med is gonna help with something or not.

I've had a lot of poor luck with anti-depressants and 'maybe you'll get this fringe benefit!' and being insisted upon that I 'just hadn't given it long enough' until a doctor finally came along and went 'oh no, if you were going to have that happen, it would've been ages ago.'

@aerianyx said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@ganymede @Auspice I'm on Welbutrin at the moment, but it's giving me insomnia. One of my docs said if the insomnia persists and becomes untenable that he'd add trazadone to the mix. I was on that before, and stopped taking it because it made me very sluggish/sleepy. I really dislike medication in general, I've had to get over it because this shit is just not livable without it at this point. It would be really nice to find the balance where I'm functional and better able to deal. Cuz where I am at right now.. just doesn't feel ok.

Oh, that might be it.
Wellbutrin is good for depression. It's what I use for depression.

That's why I had to keep fighting my doctors. They kept insisting: 'give the wellbutrin time to see if it helps your anxiety.' It never did. Period. It was great for my depression! Really great. I've had to adjust the dosage a couple times as my body adapts to it and that's normal. But it never. once. helped with the anxiety. Maybe it does for a select few? But it never did with the sort of brain weasels you're describing.

When my doctor finally agreed to add something else, oh man. It was amazing.

As for trazodone... I can't take the stuff, personally. We tried it to help my insomnia once... it never helped me sleep, but I'd spend the whole following day feeling like I was drugged. ;.; If it helps, great! But I'd make sure if you get put on it, to make your first day or two over a weekend so you can try it out.

@aerianyx said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@auspice Oh yeah. I'm on meds. But it still gets overwhelming. I'm in a GAD class/group therapy thing too. I'm just bracing for something that is setting me off really hard and it's just bleeding everywhere. The meds I'm on work sometimes, but they also give me jaw/muscle clenching and insomnia. So. Yeah.

It may be time for a med adjustment! I'm on Buspirone personally.

@aerianyx

Have you talked to a doctor about anxiety medication?

I ask this 100% honestly because that description there? Is my life, all of the time. Constantly. Non-stop. Like, from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. Every moment of every day is basically what you described....... until I finally got a doctor to agree to put me on anxiety meds. And when I am on them (sometimes I cannot afford them ), it is like this weight and fog lifts and I can think clearly and I feel confident and everything just becomes... easier. So, so much of that shit goes away.

It's not like I tell myself 'That's not true' and my brain listens... those thoughts just aren't there in the first place anymore.

Honestly, it sounds like the exact description of the generalized anxiety I feel when I'm not on those meds and things get really bad. I would seriously sit down with your doctor and discuss it and see if there's a treatment plan you can try because once I got on one, it was like breaking out of a box.

So I have been, intermittently (when they schedule events I can actually make) attending events with a local 'lady geeks' group here. Mostly tabletop gaming, but they also have a knitting group once a month. And I'm gonna try to go to their book club this coming Saturday morning (which means I've been rushing through this month's book this week).

Most events are weekday evenings, so I can't attend, but at least their Discord is active!

But today I was introducing the tabletop gaming Discord channel to the Legacy games (like Pandemic Legacy) and I brought up Betrayal Legacy and my avid desire to play it someday. A few ladies mentioned they'd be interested and very okay with scheduling a monthly weekend night to play.

So! I'm gonna hooooopefully be able to set aside enough to purchase a copy during my mid-month paycheck in December.

@misadventure said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@insomniac7809 Niggardly was "high profile" two decades ago.

I seem to recall 'denigrate' at some point, too, but I may have misremembered!

@selira said in General Video Game Thread:

I got Detroit: Become Human from the Black Friday sale.

Hold on, just a little while longer...

This game is going to stick with me for a long, long time.

I'm really sad I didn't have the monies to get that one, too. That's also on my list of games I need.

@thenomain said in General Video Game Thread:

@auspice

Stan Lee's life ended on a high note. I am content for his contributions and extremely happy that the community—fans and actors and more—gathered around him with the movie studios tried to screw him over, and made him the star that yeah, he probably deserves to be.

It did. I mean, there's a very short list of people in the entertainment business who I will miss very much: he's one of them.
I loved seeing, on Twitter (because that was the social media account that he took charge of), the joy he spoke of the actors that brought his creations to life. How they were all his friends (esp. Tom Holland, he loved that kid).

I think that's why the cameo hit me in the feels.

@thenomain said in General Video Game Thread:

Guess who has two thumbs and managed to land a Spiderman PS4 $200 deal and Last Of Us for $5 and Horizon Zero Dawn for $15?

No, don't guess. It's me.

I did this last Sunday. Except Last of Us was $10 for me.
I haven't even opened Last of Us yet. >.>

I will warn:
Stan lee has a cameo in Spiderman (I did not know this okay maybe everyone else already did I did not ) and it made me kind of really sad because it was super cute and I had to save and switch over to playing HZD instead. ;.;

@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

I'm good at lots of things.

That's the alcohol talking.

Well-

there is, tangential to the drinking, his gif making:

@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@ganymede It took far too long, I can tell you.

Get back to drinking. At least you're good at that.

https://www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jpc.14309

"Six paediatric health‐care professionals were recruited to swallow a Lego head. Previous gastrointestinal surgery, inability to ingest foreign objects and aversion to searching through faecal matter were all exclusion criteria. Pre‐ingestion bowel habit was standardised by the Stool Hardness and Transit (SHAT) score. Participants ingested a Lego head, and the time taken for the object to be found in the participants stool was recorded. The primary outcome was the Found and Retrieved Time (FART) score."

@silverfox said in MU Things I Love:

Ohoh,

I also love failing rolls. The Moos I played didn't have this (the only exception I ever encountered being Ansible's Battle Room, but even then, it was more a "missed shot" or some such.) and there was always the temptation to just be amazing always.

Now when I feel that temptation I do a roll and then act out the roll. The failing ones lead to wonderfully funny poses.

I kinda miss Ansible sometimes. If only because damnit I wanted to someday get through the whole giant puzzle thing.

And I never managed to make it to as many scheduled battles as I wanted.

@testament said in RL Anger:

It's not even December yet and I'm already tired of christmas music.

Christmas music begins the instant the first slice of pie hits a plate on Thanksgiving.

My Ike has arthritis, I am almost certain. She's been overbathing her hind quarters (which is not something she's ever done before), but she's shown no other signs of stress. There haven't been any changes lately (so no situational stressors) and she otherwise behaves just fine. She eats fine, plays with me and AJ...

but the other day she couldn't jump most of the day. She missed her usual jumps to the bathroom sink (she likes to drink from it), she couldn't jump into my lap. She prefers napping on the memory foam bathroom mat.

She's starting to get into 'older kitty' status (she's 9, so just on the cusp) and arthritis can set in during middle-age years for cats.

Today I set out my electric lap blanket on top of a pillow and as soon as it warmed up, she laid down on it and hasn't moved. I'm gonna get some cat-rated glucosamine and such (as well as fish oil) when I get paid next. Looks like vet visit would largely just be to confirm status and (if necessary) be for pain pills, but largely they recommend adjusting lifestyle and the glucosamine and fish oil first.

Food bowls and litter box are already accessible. I can setup something to make it easier for her to get into the bed. But she's always been a cat that likes to get up to high places, so... it's gonna partially be on encouraging her to not try to jump on top of the fridge, dresser, etc. so much anymore.

Just makes me sad to see her getting older and dealing with things like this, since she's been with me since the day before her eyes opened.

@aria said in The Makeup Thread:

Perfect Filter in Olive You

I am hella broke rn (because I did buy that PS4 >.>), but I'll make note to keep an eye out for it down the road. Thanks!

One of my coworkers is gay. He's not openly-out-of-the-closet-gay, but it's pretty damn obvious.

He refers to his ex as his 'partner' (or did when they were still together). Now it's just 'ex' or 'ex-partner' but every so often it's been he/him, but it's just slipped in there very casual in a blink-and-you-miss-it sort of way. Even so, it's there if you actually, y'know, fucking pay attention and are a halfway decent listener.

Wednesday, he was talking about going to Thanksgiving with a friend (he has no family in town) and the boss immediately goes: 'Ohhh, is she preeeeeetty?' and the coworker quickly goes: 'No, but he does call himself Princess.'

Which might just be the most glaring hint I've ever heard.

And yet, just now, I overhear: 'So, did you reply to that email from your ex-girlfriend yet?

I wanna bash my forehead into the desk.

Like, since he's never come out to the office (and it's always just been sort of subtle), I don't feel it's my place to take anyone aside or say anything to HR, but it has started to kind of bother me and as such I can't even begin to imagine how it must be for him.

@aria said in Holiday materialism! Let's talk gifts.:

I know this is a double-post, but seriously, if you don't use eBates? YOU SHOULD.

Honey is another one you should check out. With their extension, as soon as you load the site it'll begin checking for discounts, discount codes, etc. It's great if you're forgetful and all.

It'll also keep running on the site and be like 'oh hey this is the cheapest this item has been on Amazon in the past 60 days' or if you load in your Amazon wishlists, it'll email you when an item is at its cheapest. Like 'hey dawg, that keyboard you've been wanting? It's totes on sale rn.'