Posts made by Ganymede

@Thenomain said:

I'm not shaming anyone, here, but if someone offers to find understanding then telling them to GTFO is not the solution.

You're right. It seems absurd to tell a responding male police officer to not get involved with the rape case he was assigned to.

Still, I'm glad you recognize why some people's initial reactions may be to tell you to go away.

That said, telling people that you will go away at their request but that you will never stop trying to understand their injustice is a kind way of telling them that they need to re-think their position.

@Derp

I understand your perspective. Sometimes, you have to check your language to see if you're conveying what you want to convey.

Most of the time, when someone says "you are part of the problem," they are likely trying to convey "your attitude/stance/action/inaction is part of the problem." Saying "you are part of the problem" is a shortcut, but it's a devilish one. Any of those sorts of false dichotomies -- "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" -- is the very sort of oppositional, shallow, narrow-minded thinking that fuels the Trump campaign, and, unfortunately, Sanders' campaign.

As has been said, if civil rights were simple or issues related to them were simple, then we would not have this discussion. They are not. And, to be fair, we are entering into an era of human history where humanity has become acutely aware of civil rights, and information has been at its most free. So, we have to tread carefully, lest we find ourselves in some rhetorical or legal trap that prevents us from rationally discussing civil rights policies.

@Derp said:

What I read here:

Men doing nothing and being permissive of these situations is what causes the problem.

Men doing something and being active against it, thus not permitting it, is not a solution to the problem.

So basically, that read:

Men are a constant problem. They're wrong, and there's nothing they can do about it, because by doing something or doing nothing, they're still wrong.

That's not an unfair assessment. Let me re-state what I think the activists are getting at:

1. People doing nothing and being permissive of these situations is part of the problem.
2. People doing something and being active against it does not necessarily solve the problem.
3. In context, white men are the class of persons with the greatest power to change the situation so as to minimize the incidences.

Don't think for a second that there aren't women who think "oh, that girl deserved it" or "boys will be boys" or "oh, you, tee hee!"; they exist, and they also aren't helping anything. Also, don't think for a second that every accusation is 100% true; there are people who exaggerate, or who falsely accuse.

But the question is: what can I, a white man, do? And the answer is, as I've stated above.

@Derp said:

My main beef is that a lot of the tone of these things seems to be calling for something more proactive than reactive. The people who are reactive to such things are called out just as much for being part of the problem for not being proactive and, you know, doing something before they've seen anything to do something about.

Admittedly, it is difficult for the average gamer to be proactive. In some cases, it is difficult to be proactive at all.

Let's take @Sunny's example of being cornered the bathroom by a dude twice her size. A proactive course of action may be to stick a security guard in front the women's bathroom to make sure that no men go in. But, then, what if you have a transgendered individual heading in there? You don't want the guard to stop someone because they look or dress like a man. And then, how does this prevent a woman twice @Sunny's size from doing the same thing?

The best proactive course of action is to train ourselves to stop searching for the doubt in an accusation. In MU*ing, when I've confronted people for harassment, I can honestly say that none of the accused have ever told me, flat out, that a harassing conversation or event did not occur. More often than not, they claim: oh, I didn't know; I thought we were friends; I'm disappointed they would think that of me; and so on. It has never been: "that conversation never happened." Which tells me that the perpetrator, out of ignorance or with intent, engaged in behavior that I considered inappropriate. And that's more than enough evidence for me to take action.

Most of us can spot a drama llama a mile away, just from the nature of the accusation. But when a woman says that a person acted towards them in a manner that made them feel uncomfortable, that's not an unclear accusation. Whether their reaction -- becoming uncomfortable -- is reasonable or not, the fact is that whatever happened made them uncomfortable. And, if you confront someone who is ignorant of that, they are apt to apologize or make excuses for their behavior. And if they pick option B, then you take action.

@Arkandel said:

This is obviously an emotionally charged issue and a sensitive one to discuss. So help me - maybe others in my shoes - see how we can help.

Here's where to start -- admitting your ignorance.

Next, listen to the testimonial, and presume the truth. There's no need to go out of the way to determine the truth if the goal of the testimonial is to beg for improvement, rather than punish someone. Work with the presumptions of truth to find a policy that balances the need of protecting victims and protecting innocents.

Talking about fixing a potential problem is always helpful, especially of the potential problem becomes a real one.

Just be open to listening. My partner never wants my solutions, but she sure as hell likes to talk about her problems.

@Derp said:

And remember, the Civil Rights movement was settled in courts too, with notable cases like Brown II, so when people start talking about Social Justice, it's not unreasonable to think in terms of legalities and evidence.

The Civil Rights movement wasn't settled by Brown v. Board of Education. Not even close. It still isn't settled.

The issue of whether or not black Americans cannot be excluded from public education institutions was determined by that decision, but, as has been said, a decision is only as good as its efforts to comply with it. Which is to say that, in the wake of Brown, there were few efforts in the southern states to comply with the decision.

At a time when legislatures are passing laws calculated to permit gender identity and sexual orientation discrimination, it is really ignorant to say that the Civil Rights movement has been settled.

@Arkandel said:

You know Darth Vader is going to be in Rogue One, right?

Yeah, but the story ain't really about his family.

@Jaded said:

The first trailer for Rogue One came out. I found it to be a far better introduction to this Starwars movie than the first trailer to The Force Awakens.

I have a strong feeling it is going to be a better movie too.

I think this is mostly because they can shed themselves of the "Star Wars" mythology here. The series is an off-shoot from canon, which means you can go in a whole lot of other directions that The Force Awakens really could not.

I mean, Star Wars: Rebels is pretty good for a kid's show, whereas I'm still meh about Clone Wars.

@Misadventure said:

Anyone have a review of Beast?

Blue. Hairy. Prefers to be called "Hank."

@Arkandel said:

It's the same issue I have with stuff like crossfit; when I go in thinking 'this is 5x5, I just need to move this damn thing up and down five times and the set is over' I can focus on doing it exactly right.

I was presuming that you had perfect form. Form is always a problem when you go faster. So, focus on form. Go for X number of perfect reps in a period of time.

The other issue is lack of resources; there are a lot more posts, blogs and documentation about how to perform the perfect bench press than to do interval training.

There should be more documentation on form because interval training is a method, not a form. There are countless ways to set up your intervals, but there's fewer "perfect" ways to do a press.

For example if I did 35 minutes now and 35 minutes next week I wouldn't know if I'm progressing; am I? Did I do better? Am I advancing?

Metrics are simple: you count the number you do in a period. If you can do 15 presses of 100 lbs. in a chest press in thirty seconds five times, that's 75 presses. Increase the amount to 16 presses, and that's 80 presses. Even if you increase the number of presses by 1, you have still lifted more than the last session.

I you too! It's awesome to share insights on that sort of thing with people who're into different stuff. And no one has ever accused me of being smart, as you should know by now.

I'm sharing what I'm sharing because I've done what you do, and it led to injury. Minor injuries, mind, but injuries nonetheless. I think you'll find that what I'm proposing, over time, will result in fewer injuries, increased strength, and increased flexibility.

And, yes, I've also read a lot of literature, so this ain't just anecdotal.

Tell you what: try it for a month some time, and see what you think. Maybe when you plateau, or think you have.

@Arkandel

Here's where I'm coming from.

If I recall correctly, you hurt your lower back not too long ago. And then I read that you went and tried to hit some deadlifts again. That injury was, what, maybe a few weeks ago? Three or four? I could be wrong, and, if so, then my comment doesn't make sense.

But I previously read that you hurt your lower back not so long ago, which is why I was incredulous that you would go to deadlifts in what seems to me to be a short period of time.

I started working out in my early 20s, and have been keeping in okay shape since then. I'm not perfect; I'm not rigorous; I could be more zealous. And what I've learned is that lower back injuries are tricky beasts because it is difficult to pinpoint if a strain is myalgia or tendinitis. If it's the former, you'll be back in a reasonably short period of time; if the latter, not so.

Given how delicate that area is? Best not to take chances, I figure. I had a minor tear of a pectoral near the clavicular area, and it didn't heal for 4 months. Recently, I fell down the stairs and got tendinitis around my obliques; another 3 months out of commission, basically. I'm basically your age, so I have an idea on how long things may take to heal.

That said, I'll say it again: try interval sets.

How long does it take you to blast out 10 chest presses? I'll bet it takes 20 seconds. Lengthen that to 30 seconds; how many can you do at 80% of your lifting capacity? Keep challenging yourself to do more in 30 seconds, until it is almost physically impossible to do so. Then move up 5 pounds, and start all over. I'll wager that if you do 30 seconds of chest presses with 30 seconds of rest (for a total of 1 minute) five times, you'll feel a better burn over 5 minutes than doing a boring 10 x 5 set.

I find this has worked wonders for me. I can go as fast or as slow as I want on the reps, but the faster I go, the harder I burn. In 35 minutes (6 sets with 1 minute break in between) of interval sets, I can get a better workout than I did doing 15 x 3's or 10 x 5's. The added bonus is how the exercise becomes aerobic: your cardio mixes in with the lifting.

It's a different mentality. You're not going for weight; you're going for speed. And I'll bet you you'll burn more fat, and have a better basketball game in 3 months.

By the way, I love you, man. Honest. But I think you could work out smarter.

@Arkandel said:

There's no such thing as too old for deadlifts, by the way; there are people in their 70s lifting substantial weight without issues. For my specific situation after cautious experimentation they didn't work out but there was only one way to find that out - which kinda was the point.

So, you knew that deadlifts would hurt you, and you went ahead and did them regardless?

Sigh.

I didn't say weighted lunges or barbell squats. I said "lunges" and "squats." I'm guessing that you do sets, but here's a suggestion: stop doing repetition sets and try interval sets.

Sure, deadlifts are great compound lifts. I prefer Romanian deadlifts over traditional, and I'm a huge fan of clean-and-jerks. But I get the feeling that you aren't trying to become a professional bodybuilder, so there's no need to be dead-set on doing these "ultra-important" exercises that are as likely to hurt as to help you reach what I presume are fitness goals.

Aim for fitness. I've gotten better results away from the weights. Haven't had a major injury since I fell on my fucking stairs, but that had nothing to do with what I did to work out.

@Arkandel said:

Gave deadlifts an honest try with rather low weight, a belt, stretching before and after and as good form as I could manage.

What the fuck, man? Do you even read?

You have hurt your lower back, and probably hurt your tendons. Tendons don't heal nearly as quickly as muscles.

You need to stop doing deadlifts. You are probably too old to be doing them without substantial risk of injury. If you want to hit the same muscles, do: (1) squats: (2) lunges; (3) mountain climbers; and (4) seated shrugs.

FFS, man, work out smart.

@deadculture said:

@Packrat Well, he's a lawyer. They tend to write well.

Sounds like someone who does not have to deal with them on a daily basis.

@Thisnameistaken said:

I'm hoping this is the correct place to post this. It's not really an advertisement but a request for input. Feel free to yell at me or move it if you need to.

So, I recently took a little break from MUing and now the itch is back and I'm feeling fresh-faced and inspired. At one point, I was working on a post-apocalyptic MU which never got off the ground due to some code complications. I've decided to have another go at it, with a slightly altered setting and some new game mechanics ideas. None of this is set in stone. I simply want to get a feel for whether or not there would be any interest in the game I am envisioning and perhaps get some input about things I should tweak.

Ok, first, a bit about theme

Basically, the game is set just months after a zombie outbreak. The world is still in turmoil. Very few people understand what is really going on. There's confusion and horror in the air. Survivors are just beginning to encounter one another. Settlements are unstable and temporary. Death is a constant threat and scavenged resources are the currency of the world.

What are my goals?

I want a zombie game that takes place just after the outbreak, so no one's certain of anyone's intentions and the zombies themselves are still a very big threat. Where no settlement is permanent and violence could erupt at any moment, with the zombies or between settlements. Where alliances can be made and just as easily broken, where members of a settlement don't always see eye to eye, where betrayal exists and there's a fuzzy line between heroism and cruelty.

I want a game that mixes casual RP with extreme danger, the requires forging alliances and also sometimes breaking them, where even the landscape of the grid changes over time depending on the players' actions.

The game would be World of Darkness, using GMC rules (but not so much the theme), with some minor modifications such as new merits fitting to the theme. All characters would be mortal, although I am contemplating allowing low level psychics (perhaps one dot allowed at Cg and working up from there). This is one of the points I'm still debating.

Ok, moving on to the technical bits.

• Grid - The grid will be composed of 7 zones. Each of the four settlements will have their own grid space, as well as three neutral zones. The neutral zones consist of one PvE danger zone (a ST may choose to begin an impromptu PrP in this zone), one potential-PvP-ish danger zone (players may go head to head with each other - but be warned the effect this may have on the relationship between your respective settlements!), one casual neutral zone (where people may RP, interact, without fear of imminent danger or death - the place where friendship and alliances are made). These zones may be expanded but for now I'm keeping it small and simple.

• Settlements - There are four settlements. As the game progresses, old settlements will be destroyed and new settlements will be formed. How, you ask? Each season (every three months), a settlement will be destroyed. Members of that settlement may choose to rebuild or disband. If rebuilding, they use their Resources (see below) and get to vote on what sort of location/settlement they would like. The list for which settlement will be destroyed which season is created pre-game (for the life of the game) so that there is no question of favoritism. Because of this, there will only ever be four settlements at one time. Starting settlements will be:

  The Prison - Highly defendable but rather bleak. Bonus to Structure, penalty to Comfort (see Resources below).
  The Town - It's almost like old times. Bonus to Comfort, penalty to Power.
  Military Outpost - The last remnants of the military. Bonus to Power, penalty to Health.
  The Farm - Laying low and hoping for the best. Bonus to Health, penalty to Structure.

• Resources - There are a total of nine Resources. Each settlement will begin with one dot in each Resource except their bonus (they will receive two dots) and their penalty (they will receive 0 dots), so that all settlements begin with 10 dots dispersed. At the beginning of each month, ever member of a settlement by choose to spend their Resource merit dots towards Settlement Resources at the rate of 1 to 1 dots. Settlements may also gain Settlement Resources through approved PrPs. Settlement Resources include:

  Building (materials) - Wood, metal, nails, etc. +1 to building new structures.
  Building (tools) - Hammers, shovels, limited power tools (available to those who have Technology (power), etc. +1 to building new structures.
  Food (supplies) - Scavenged, stolen, otherwise acquired food. Settlement uses 1 Food (supplies) Resource each month for every 5 members.
  Food (sources) - Gardens, livestock, etc. Provides nothing for it's current month but will provide Food (supplies) 3 for each dot the following month.
  Technology (power) - Allows the use of lights and some electronics. Level of Technology (power) determines how much energy is created (each dot can sustain 5 people in comfort).
  Technology (communication) - Allows for the use of communications devices. Requires Technology (power) of 1 and allows players to use radios, communicating with up to dots/players at a time (this can be used during scenes or for investigation but be careful - it's not telepathy and the squawk of a radio can give you away, not to mention they aren't always guaranteed to work).
  Armory (weapons) - Weapons. Each dot allows for an additional weapon in the Armory that can be used by any member. Uncommon weapons may require a plot to obtain.
  Armory (ammunition) - Allows the use of guns. Each dot will provide 20 rounds per month. Use them wisely.
  Medical - Medicine, equipment. Reduced healing times, emergency health boosts.

• Settlement Resource Stats - The amount of Settlement Resources a settlement has determines their stats in settlement conflicts (because both diplomacy and warfare are options). It goes something like this:

  Attack - Armory (weapons) + Armory (ammunition)
  Defense - Building (materials) + Building (tools)
  Health - Food (supplies) + Food (sources) + Medical

• Policies - Basic stuff. I'm debating alts because I'm not sure if it'd cause conflict in the settlements or inspire RP and could use some advice there. XP, I'm thinking 1 experience a week, with the option of beats/aspirations (with a 1 experience per week cap), as well as ST bonuses, which I'll address below. 18 and up. Keep graphic sexual RP to private areas. Utilize a FTB policy when graphic violence may occur. I'm still typing these up but it's general common sense. I'll hit a couple of them, however:

  Plot and Incentive XP - Participation will grant 1 beat. The STer will get 2 beats. After that, it's the Exceptional RP bonus. Players can recommend other players, or staff. Staff can recommend players. If approved, player or ST can acquire an extra beat for the scene. I'd like to also extend this to Exceptional Staffing, meaning a build/admin/job staffer who is polite and prompt can also get get a recommendation to use on one of their characters. Each recommendation would be approved to prevent abuse.

  Harassment - None. 3 warnings at most. No warnings require for particularly grievous offenses (which are thankfully rare). This includes staff. IC douchebaggery is fine but none of us have time for that crap OOC.

---

I know there's a lot of tweaking that needs to be done. This is a general idea and I left a lot out. What I want to know is whether or not anyone is interested in such a game. That said, I'm always willing to listen to advice and constructive criticism as well, so don't be shy. Just remember, rough draft! Just brainstorming here. So, yay or nay?

I'm into the idea, yes. I don't think I have time to commit to it, no. I think your biggest challenge will be in creating the political/off-screen system necessary to make the survival element prevalent.

@Insomnia said:

What? I don't remember this happening in Dragon Age. I mean it's not alien sex like Mass Effect but Inquisition has a trans character and kinky BDSM sex in it and I don't remember it in the reviews one way or another.

Unlike in the Victorian Age, it's okay now for a woman to transgender to a man, but not the other way around.

At least, that theory would explain what's going on.

@silentsophia said:

Plus, Admiral Fluffnstuff was a very popular cat.

This is literally going to be my first Beast character concept and BG.

@Arkandel

@Roz said:

Unwanted behavior is unwanted behavior and plenty of women have plenty of experiences receiving it from guys they would have found physically attractive otherwise.

This is what I would have said if I wasn't deliberately trying to bait you.

... I think Ganymede was trying to offer a sort of mental shortcut to help you better understand the feeling.

I used the word attractive to goad you into thinking that it was about appearance. I'm a jerk like that.

A woman can find someone attractive no matter what they look like, so the word attractive should not be limited to physical appearance alone. And if a woman is, in fact, attracted to someone, they may find the witless insinuations charming or cute. But the way to figure out if your witless insinuations will have the desired effect is to treat them like a normal human being, and get to know a little more about them by engaging in casual, respectful banter.

Coincidentally, the same may increase the likelihood that your witless insinuations will be seen as just that, and not a warning that they may end up tied up and gagged in a basement.

@mietze said:

Would you really stand up for the 13 year old especially? How would you spot her? As was said to me in "defense" when I ripped a man a new one who was making my daughter uncomfortable "how was I to know she's 12, mom? She's tall and has tits".

Perhaps we should not just stand up for 13 year olds especially, or young girls, or women. We should also stand up for the openly-gay cosplayer, and the bi-racial couple. Fuck, we should stand up for anyone regardless of size, age, sex, or whatever against people who think it's okay to all someone a fag, queer, nigger, spic, nip, or some other derogatory term.

"Boys will be boys" is a comment to motive, not a plea for leniency.

Thanks, @Deviante. I've been waylaid recently by RL shit, but I'll hopefully be back on track in 48 hours. Nearly had to reschedule my last +event because I was firing out of both ends.

@Arkandel said:

I just don't know how to help. What kinds of things should I be looking for? What am I missing? When does this happen? How? What forms does it take?

How to help:

1. Don't do the same shit.
2. Listen to women when they complain, and presume honesty.
3. Don't encourage other people to do the same shit.

To figure out whether a behavior is right or wrong, don't ask yourself whether or not you would react similarly if subjected to the same. Instead, ask yourself: would I feel uncomfortable if someone that I found very unattractive would did the same to me?

It's a good start. Nothing is perfect. There will always be some amount of harassment. The best thing to do is to stop it, if you notice it.

@ShelBeast

I didn't mean to accuse you of doing nothing.

But, as Orwell suggests, people sleep better at night knowing that there are people willing to resort to violence to ensure that.

That adage is especially apt here.