Posts made by Hella

Displaying empathy and compassion for your friends is really important,definitely not a bad thing. And at the same time, shouldering another person's problems and absorbing their stress will eventually wear you out if it's happening a lot/you're not able to do the same in return.

There are a couple of strategies, like be supportive but put the responsibility back on their shoulders. Something like, "You're a smart person. I am confident you will figure this out and come out stronger than ever." Or whatever makes most sense for the situation.

You could also set boundaries/an alternative while still employing compassion. At a time (not game night, in the moment) you guys are just chill and hanging out or chatting, you could say something like 'Hey, you know I'm here for you, right? Why don't we set up a time to just chat and catch up about <insert issues> so that we can focus on stress free fun on game night?'

It's also really important you don't take on a role you're not qualified for. Suggest professional counselling and if they don't accept, at least you tried. If they blow up? It's tough but fair to recognize that not all friendships last. This person might not be a good fit for your life right now, and that's okay, too. It doesn't mean it's forever. It just means right now you also need to take care of yourself. It's not their fault. It's not your fault. It's just a crappy situation, as Faraday says.

@arkandel said in How can we incentivize IC failure?:

However swiss cheese model approaches can absolutely apply. For example while still building a game ask some questions:

• Which in-game rewards (positions, XP, etc) will the game offer? How are they going to be distributed and why?
• How do we engage players in structured plot (PrPs, staff-ran scenes)?
• How do we match reward to risk?
• How do we handle character death?

And so on.

I think this would be really great in a thread on its own, on questions to ask/answer for folks interested in guidance on setting up their own games.

@silverfox I think that's amazing. I read a quote once about adoption and I thought it was a good summation:

"For our kids, we meet them with a compassion and understanding that gathers up all the broken pieces of their stories and holds them together in love."

Good luck to you both. It's a great and hard thing you're doing.

Technoblade. RIP King.

Maybe not specifically a celebrity but a hard loss none the less for anyone in the Minecraft community. He was a legend and a huge part of this hobby, and his presence will be missed.

Fuck cancer.
Technoblade never dies.

My kid graduated elementary school today (grade 7) and her artwork won the contest to be on the front of their yearbook. I'm proud and everything, but she's ecstatic beyond all belief and seeing her that happy and proud of herself is the RL thing I love the most.

@lotherio said in Mourning a character, how do you do it?:

@hobos said in Mourning a character, how do you do it?:

Sometimes I still think about Famous Outlaw and am real-life inspired by things that Famous Outlaw said. Famous Outlaw pulled on my heartstrings forever. Famous Outlaw is a fantasy character in a fantasy world but perfectly meaningful to me.

Dang, now I want to hear tales of this rakish rogue.

Famous outlaws are the best characters. I'm not biased at all.

@ganymede said in Good TV:

@hella

I am Canadian too, so I have to recommend Letterkenny as a prelude to Shoresy, seeing as how the latter is a spin-off of the former.

I'm on season 2 now. It's fucking brilliant.

@ghost it may not be my experience but it's a really valid point nonetheless.

MUSHing did used to be partly about that, for me, so I can see where you're coming from with it. In the last year or so, though, it's become solely about the stories to tell. Creating a character with deep impact on the story was one of the best feelings, and watching that impact play out was rewarding. In the last year I kept OOC interaction to a bare minimum and was much happier for it when telling the story.

But I know that's not everyone's experience and I appreciate you posting this up for the diversity of viewpoint.

I know some people can lose a character and be fine. But I am fucking devastated and looking for others' input. How do you (or do you?) mourn character death, IRL?

A friend suggested writing a small letter or short blurbs (just for your own edification, not to be seen) to all the characters (PCs and NPCs) who influenced and shaped your character, and I thought that was a really great suggestion.

You know, in case you ever wanted to hear Nickelback's 'Rockstar' as a slappin' sea shanty. You can thank me later when you can't sleep because it's stuck in your head

It's what the world needs more of, @il-volpe. Thank you for being that shining beacon.

I take heart that the newer generations seem to be so much better (in general) about acceptance and equality. My daughter recently started wearing skirts after a period where she hated them. She came out to show me her new skirt, twirling and so pleased, and I said, offhand, "Ooh girly flippy skirt, so cute." And she gives me a withering look and says "Clothing isn't gendered mom."

Totally right (god it's hard to admit to your teen when they're right) and I thanked her for pointing it out to me and resolved to be more mindful. A silly comment I never would have thought twice about, but for her pointing it out to me. It's needed and important. Glad you were recognized for your Pride.

@arkandel said in Great TV:

But capturing and honoring the spirit... that's essential. I am concerned the new Tolkien adaptation will be too... generic fantasy for me to enjoy.

We'll find out in only 80 days. Aure entuluva!

@devrex said in Of Dreams and Nightmares:

@ganymede Given how brain-fried everyone is...modern settings often seem the best bet. Less heavy lifting on "what do? What RP? How does world work?"

I don't know. These days I want to be anywhere but our modern world.

@arkandel said in MUs That We Would Love To Make (But Won't):

I haven't played on a MUSH in years.

And yet, each time I read a book I like my mind goes "hey you know what this would be great for? A MUSH setting!".

Time to pick a book and play again

@sixregrets I felt the same way after reading the Farseer books from Robin Hobb. I'd love to play in that world. Or Scott Lynch's Gentleman Bastards series world. OR about a hundred other really cool worlds I've read about and want to make a character in/tell a story in.

@silverfox said in Critters!:

Hansel (black) and Gretel (tortie) are four weeks old and healing from being super sick really nicely

Oh no! Poor kitties but happy they're healing and props to you for getting them there

Not directly MUSHing related so I stuck it in Tastes Less Game'y, but it could have application in MUSHing too (though book writing and MUSHing are different in so many ways). I'm interested in writing resources you all have found valuable, if you'd care to share them.

I've been watching Brandon Sanderson's BYU 2020 lecture series on Sci-fi and Fantasy writing, and I've found it tremendously helpful for improving my writing on a book series I've been working on of late. He covers areas like world building, plot and character, among other things.

Another thing I've found helpful/inspiring are these "mood" playlists on YouTube. Music For Writing, a playlist for girls who should have been written by jane austen, Dark Academia Classical Music, you're studying in a haunted library with ghosts, among others.

@ganymede said in Good TV:

@hella said in Good TV:

Oh good, something to fill the hole Derry Girls left in my heart! Thanks for the heads up

Right now, it's Shoresy. Also, The Next Thing You Eat; I love David Chang's documentaries.

Apparently I'm a terrible Canadian because I've not heard of Shoresy but I'm going to watch it now! Thanks @Ganymede

Also, it's not TV but what I've been watching this weekend is Brandon Sanderson's BYU writing sci fi and fantasy series on youtube. Free, highly recommend. I've learned a great deal to improve my writing.

@runescryer said in Good TV:

Obi-Wan Kenobi...

It's live, and it's spectacular

Oh good, something to fill the hole Derry Girls left in my heart! Thanks for the heads up

Unrelated but inspiring, I've been watching a bunch of Emily D. Baker on youtube. She's very open about her ADHD diagnosis and struggles to make it work within her career (lawyer/legal analyst). Highly entertaining, if anyone is bored and wants a breakdown of high profile law cases alongside great empathy and understanding. Unsurprisingly, the majority of it right now is Depp v. Heard but if you dig back further there's a lot of other great content too.