Posts made by Macha

Thankfully, no one who lives here has those kind of balls.

He's supposedly a pit/mastiff mix. But if you look at him? Yeah no, he's too small for that. He's got to be mixed with a breed that's more 'talkative', because lord does he like to vocalize. And I found out, they have another dog, that is going with them. It's not that someone is allergic, so much as they were told only one, so they're taking their older female with them. Whatevs. Remy is better off here with me.

He's got a lot of curiosity, and it's what, day 3, and he's already learned the hand signal I use for 'sit'. He's learning to sit and wait at the doors to the outside (something I consider important) but the inside doors, he doesn't seem to understand yes I want him to do that too lol. But hey, progress is not always linear.

He's got some food hang ups. He doesn't seem to feel comfortable eating from the raised dishes, he seems afraid to just stand there and eat. He will take a bite and walk away, etc. But if I hold it, or put it on the floor, he'll dig in a bit more. He does love the bones and chews, and chewed so hard he broke the hoof he was given. I also realized today I was missing things supposed to be in the 'mixed' bag they gave me, and there's a bit CUT down the side of the bag. So tomorrow, it's back to Petsmart with the damaged bag. Because there's a rib bone and another bone missing. There were supposed to be six things, and were only 4. Sigh.

I'd been looking for a suitably geeky name. Then a friend of mine I sent a picture of him to, sent me a picture of a gorgeous bottle of Remy Cointreau all lit up, and the cognac was like the color of his fur. And Remy LeBeau for the geek angle. Not the picture he sent me, but a very pretty shot, and the cognac really shows all the colors in his fur (the non white)

I cried last night. I have Logan's box of cremains on the dresser thing at the end of my bed, next to the tv. He was sniffing at it, and looked at me, and..boom. And I cried and he came and starting giving me kisses and pawing at me, and I told him all about Logan. Then he laid down next to me and put his legs over mine.

He shows such ability to be sweet and loving, and then he gets all rambunctious. But he makes me laugh and sigh in frustration, but.. yeah. Even if this is just a rebound for both of us, this is a better place for him, and I think this is helping me, too.

His dating profile: Young buck looking for a lady to love.

Likes: squeaky toys, balls (ones that squeak are great!), ropes for tug of war, bones to chew on, being outside laying in the grass, and treats.

Dislikes: Not being able to meet everyone I see, baths, eating from a raised dish, not being able to meet the kitten, baby gates, and being told to ride in the backseat of the car.

May I present to you, Remy.

Yeah. I made the right call, at least for him. He trusts me enough as of this morning to show me his belly. He had a huge scratch under his arm that clearly had never been cleaned, and I suspect he had fleas. But he was a total champ, and didn't fight me when I gave him a bath.

Well, a thing happened today. I need to rename him (The name he has, while from a cool game, the character does things I don't want to chance lol)

I couldn't /not/ bring him home, it turns out. Sure, he came right up to me and sat on my foot and his head on my knee like "hiiiii." But I just got this.. vibe, that he was not getting everything he needed. They told me he tore his collar and asked me to bring a new one. (Okay.) But yeah. They didn't really tell me much about his food preferences (I asked), what treats he likes (So far, everything), what sort of toys he likes (He didn't seem that interested in Petsmart). You can see he's on the skinny side, too. Like, when he crouches to do business, you can see like all the vertebrae. And they didn't ask me much in the way of anything, before asking if I wanted to take him (He was free.)

He's a big clumsy doofus, it turns out (like someone else I used to know). He has already figured out the queen sized bed is comfy, and if he whines at the door, he will be taken out.

I hate that grief can not be linear. Hit me hard, crush me to dust, and just let me get better. Fuck this 'I'm doing okay' and then some little thing pops up, and I'm trying not to cry in a gods damned fast food drive thru. (I realized I didn't need to get the chicken nuggets. He's not here to eat them).

I have found good homes for the things he had that I did not take to the vet: An untouched antler, some dental chews, treats, etc. The maintenance guy that adored him (and vice versa) has a pittie, so he got the antler, and she eats the same brand of dry food I had left, so he took that off my hands. Another guy down the street who has a doggo that I've befriended over the summer got some of the dentals. Another one got a whole bag of Logan's favorite faux bacon.

So, a friend of a friend of a friend sort of situation - they have to move in short order. His dad had a stroke, and he and his stepmom need their help. Buuuuuut stepmom is allergic to dogs. They have a young Pit mix (almost 2 1/2), and have to rehome him. So of course, my friend heard about this, and came to tell me. I want to help, if he likes me, and yet..

Part of me wants another dog, my depression when I do not have an animal to care for can get quite bad. Part of me never wants another dog. I know Logan wouldn't feel betrayed, it's not that. that dog had enough love in him I could have had several. It's me. And, admittedly, 2 people saying "I'm not trying to judge, but it feels a little soon."

@Raemira I would have had a second dog with logan, if I could have. He loved having a buddy around.

Honestly? I've had a half dozen dogs in my life, and temporary custody of more. Logan was something super, super special. There was something in that bond I've never had with another dog. Like, roommates reported him suddenly going to the doors/windows and barking when I was gone at work - and the time of day would be when i'd had a sugar crash. Weird shit like that, that could be coincidence once or twice, but not like.. a dozen times over the years.

I plan on exposing myself on purpose to dogs. I know how grateful Logan was to find 'home' with me. If there's some sort of connection with a dog like there was with him (obviously it will never be the same), I'd consider it.

Today I started the process of throwing away the things that I can not donate to a shelter. Half chewed bones, the bed he trampled, etc etc. It's not all gone, and I know some things will make me want to hold on to them, at least a little bit longer.

But on the plus side, I did manage to pet a pittie today, who had some resemblance to Logan. The owner looked surprised when I walked up and asked (Let's just say the part of town I was in, is not overly friendly). I had treats in my car and gave the good boy a couple. I explained to his owner why I dared walk up and ask. I did not cry. I call it a win.

@Derp That's what I keep telling myself. But I still keep thinking "Shit, I need to take Logan out." Or think I see him from the corner of my eye. I know this is all completely normal, when the mainstay of 9+ years is suddenly gone, but.. ouch.

It's done. My best boy is gone. I was not especially pleased with the vet.

I tried to get drunk after, but despite quite a few shots, not even a buzz.

Roommate has not said a single word to me since I got home last night. Like, not even hello, or hey. I'm finding it weird and awkward and sort of hurtful.

I am crying at random, and angry in turns. Fun fun.

And of course tonight, he acted like he was fine when some friends came over to say their goodbyes. Other than the trouble eliminating thing, which was still very obvious. And he has seemed to keep some food down today. (I also upped his meds to try and keep him as comfortable as I can, so..)

I had to have his appointment moved up. He's stopped eating, and he's been vomiting up when he does eat. So tomorrow is now the day, and I am not ready for this. I feel like the worst Mom ever. I feel like I've failed.

It's in just over 2 weeks. So I had to make the most depressing gofundme ever. Meantime, he is getting spoiled, all the junk food treats he loves, chicken nuggets, and cheeseburgers.

I had to set up a date for Logan to be put to sleep. I am not okay. I do not know where I will get the 300+, but at least it is less than the 800 that was in my head for some reason.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SICK PETS!!

I had to call the vet about something sort of concerning with Logan today. Since he got put on the new med a month ago, he's gained some weight (He lost some there before the emergency vet), and he's showing enthusiasm for his munchy treats again, and he's eating decently.

But the vet told me the concerning little 'dripping' he's doing, means whatever is wrong (That I could not afford the 1200 dollar ultrasound to investigate), is getting worse. And that I need to prepare myself for the fact that he may not remain 'happy' for long. So tomorrow I have to pull myself together enough to call the vet long enough to get estimates for when that time comes, and cremation. My chest hurts. All I want to do is cry, but if I do that, he will try to make it better, and that will only make it worse.

I'm not trying to be petty, but can we at least refer to her as a gay/bisexual icon? Since she id'd as bisexual, and bi-erasure is a serious thing?

@Derp Actually.. The update is that she's passed.

I was apping in a character, because there's some history with the particular bit I find somewhat.. problematic. But it's that history everyone seems to cling to.

Then I got Covid, and creativity diiiiiiiiied. So now I'm putting it together piece by tiny piece.

@Derp I'm a big fan of chicken nuggets in the air fryer. Faster than the oven, and you can get a touch more crisp, but you can't let them get cold.

@Too-Old-For-This Air fryer veggies? I am intrigued.