Best posts made by mietze

Honestly, as hard as this may be to believe, when it comes to the american religious right, especially in the culty group I was part of, it's less about the target and more about maintaining control of your group.

Pray the gay away/satanic panic/purity culture ect. is mostly about maintaining order and control from within. The damage that does is catastrophic to just about everyone it touches. Including the people that benefit the most, since it turns them into...well, what we see now after 30-50 years of this type of grooming.

It is honestly why you can have people spew the most hateful, despicable nonsense, as well as encourage and support garbage policies and criminal abuse, and then act bewildered when you personally call them out on it. Or be mystified as to how you didn't know they weren't talking about YOUR family.

When you base your belongings and beliefs in a culture of fear and either/or 'goodliness', you reap what you sow, and everyone gets splattered with your grossness.

I think my issue with warn (though I love that too) is that it implies that it's okay to continue on in the play as long as you accept there might be consequences. What happens when the +warn is issued by a PC that is a vastly different social or stat power level and both know it? (Or think they know it?)

I think warn works best for IC consequence potential, but redcarding is less about that and more about ooc comfort about graphic content or subject matter.

Putting the finishing touches today on converting the downstairs living room into a space that is usable amd safe for my youngest, after it being the domain of the Bigs and neighborhood teen hangout den. It can still be used for that when they are home and will be largely the domain of the bigs on breaks but right now my little guy is having a lot of fun with a new space to hang out and also a better place to start having his friends over to hang out.

Most fun was being on a discord call with all my bigs as they walked me through setting up some of their old game systems as well as chatting about how things are going at school.

And the truth of the matter is, that NOT every noble house is going to be a Great House. Ever. I mean, I'm sorry. But that is really part of the mindset that can be really disheartening.

Are there some people that really are going to charge for that now that they know it's within the scope of possibilities for the game, yes.

Are there some people who are going to charge hard and expect EVERYTHING to change for them and magical oodles of increased goodies, plot, and importance to other PCs once they get the new title--and then they're going to be disappointed when it doesn't bring that? Yeah, I think probably!

But do the majority of even PC houses want it, no they don't. There are many that are never going to rise above what they are for a variety of factors (interest, being able to stay populated by PCs, ect). It does take work. Not every org is going to have people who are equipped and willing/able to do that work, and while I suppose it is possible for someone to stockpile all on their lonesome, it will take awhile.

I had a fraud check cashing person literally take off running from my teller station once when I told her it would take a moment to validate the check, even left a flip flop behind, and as she bolted out the door she got run over by the bicycle cop who liked to cut through our parking lot.

Honestly I think both public and private acknowledgement by the ST can go a long way. When I think of STed scenes in the last few years that have left me feeling kind of down it's usually been because what I wrote or even rolls made as requested were completely ignored/unacknowledged.

OTOH once a scene gets to be larger than a certain tipping point it is deceptively easy to do that. Sometimes even before if you are dealing with a very page-y person or demanding player and miss what others are doing. I have been fortunate that people have felt comfortable pinging me when I have messed that up as a ST without fearing i would either rage at them or dissolve into falling on my sword (the two reasons i think primarily of when i think of when I do and do not speak up).

I think that having communication and turn taking ground rules helps a lot. Some people do that naturally, others do better with some external organization.

Pumpkin sausage soup

2 c mashed pumpkin (or a can of pumpkin, NOT pie filling)
4 c chicken broth or stock
1/c c minced onion (increase if desired)
1 c finely chopped mushrooms (can be omitted)
½ c half and half or heavy cram
2-5 gloves garlic, minced
1 ½ t Italian seasoning
1 lb spicy breakfast sausage

Brown sausage, drain, then add onion, mushrooms, garlic, and herbs. When onion is translucent, stir in pumpkin. Stir in broth and mix well. Simer 20-30 mins. Stir in cream and simmer on low for another 10 minutes. Taste and add salt/pepper as needed. I serve with red pepper flakes on the side so people can add a kick of spice if they want, as well as extra cream to swirl on top. It is also good without the cream. Sometimes I add a can of diced tomatoes with juice to the mix as well.

One of my best mom friends gave me this recipe about 20 years ago, and it’s been a mainstay of our family since, as well as many many potlucks and soup bar game nights over the years!

Is there any reason to have an ooc room where people can "talk out loud?" The more time I spend on games that do not have them the more I'm convinced that they have little purpose other than being yet another thing that is a drain on the game.

Felt really good to be able to say "Sorry, I'm not available" to a request for me to step in as a sub at the school's "winter break camp" and receive no pushback nor have fear that bad things would happen (from a child safety standpoint) if I didn't agree to do it.

You can be a great writer and suck at being a mush player or vice versa (I think the publishing success of quite a few infamous mushers should speak to that). Or maybe you can be good at everything!

But when it comes to mushing I will take someone who maybe wouldn't pass every test for stellar writing on the internet, who might mangle some grammar or structure now and then but who is a fun ooc collaborator and not an asshat over someone who is a great writer but consistently or frequently selfish and mean.

I can enjoy authors who are dicks because I do not have to deal with them on an individual level unless I want to. I like many works whose authors I have no desire to interact personally with, and the authors do not even have to be alive for me to connect with their work.

Which is the real difference between mushing and writing I think. It is a lot more personal and social, even when there is not a lot of chit chat, because of the responsiveness (or not being willing or capable to do that) to other people's writing that is expected.

So today was my state's precinct (neighborhood) caucus to decide the presidential candidate for the Democratic Party. For the first time, standing room only 30 minutes before it was called into session. Enormous turnout for all ages, including teens and twentysomethings. Lively, strong debate, but it ended with handshakes and goodwill and support. It was nice to see people discussing as people rather than shit flinging rabid monkeys. And I got elected as a delegate for my candidate to move on to the district/county caucus. (Similar process there, and then some go on to the state and maybe national). It was nice. I'm still worried over all, but today...respect and actual dialog won.

I think a lot of people love doing horrible things to their PCs so that others will pay attention to them. Sometimes it's not entirely clear where the line of compelling/annoying is.

Like I think almost everyone but the person who generates it eventually grows tired of the PC that is constantly needing to be rescued from kidnappers/rapists/assassins every week. And a lot of people get tired of the being a total unrelenting jerk ic for Reasons You Should Unravel (but forget about reciprocal play)?

But when you are talking about stuff like trauma, ect, you do run into people's leeriness about whether you are a sane person to play or with or running into RL discomfort/distaste. And if you are not very attuned to reading the room you can get in real trouble real quick.

I have to have trauma or some kind of major flaw in all my PCs to find then interesting. I dont think everyone has to be this way but it's just who I am as a storyteller/RPer. How much I play it depends on whether or not I am able to tell if the other person will enjoy it, or at least be open to it. It might be that some who have RPed with me on some PCs have the impression that I don't have interest in those things because I have not gotten a read to find out if it would be welcome or not.

There are very few off topic RP subjects for me; I admit that I do not do age play or pedophilia ever. (Though I have had PCs that were involved in child marriage or who were abused as kids that is background only and never explicitly talked about). Literally nothing else bothers me. I may not alwats choose to engage in onscreen acting out of other stuff depending on the PC, player, or game rules, but I have no problems with people who do and arent forcing it on others.

And I've met a ton of people who do the same, they just arent infamous because they dont need to shove people's faces in it indiscriminately. I am always grateful when I find those folks and they often fuel my creativity and have sustained my interest in mushing this whole time. I suspect there are more people out there that I sadly miss because i am reserved about expressing RP prefs in an audience I dont know yet, but that's no one's fault but mine for taking a safer route maybe.

That article makes me very sad. It's reflective of my own experience in tabletop and at conventions (one of the reasons why once I got into MUSHing I didn't look back). I hope the author is my age, but I can believe the LEO's reactions as well, to be honest, though I kind of hoped that they'd gotten a little better too. I have seen the misogynistic hatred and rape threats directed at females with opinions on games or fandom first hand--when they were directed at one of my children. (She's no longer that interested in game design or writing, and part of me is full of rage over that, and another more guilty part is fucking relieved.)

I'm sure people reject that things are "that bad" and "oh it's just the bad apples". I've met a lot of great people male and female in the TT/Con world, but you know--the rotten apples are virulently rotten, and I don't think that they're taken as seriously as they should be (I'd like to hope this is changing). But in my experience this article isn't far off the mark.

I am on the fence about that. I think one can really examine the ways one has benefited and tacitly even participated and taken advantage of egregious things done in the name of one's culture or religion and it isn't bad to experience that pain and shame. It is important to not necessarily wallow in it which is where some people get stuck.

Would you really stand up for the 13 year old especially? How would you spot her? As was said to me in "defense" when I ripped a man a new one who was making my daughter uncomfortable "how was I to know she's 12, mom? She's tall and has tits".

Because what do you expect, dressing up at a con. Grow a thicker skin if you make that comment, boys will be boys, rape threats from Internet strangers aren't real threats, don't be such a pussy. What do you expect, wearing that women's cut mine craft shirt to the game store with all these guys around? You sure you want to make a fuss, why don't you just try to enjoy yourself at the rest of con. Maybe your kid shouldn't dress up as her favorite anime character until she's legal. So and so is such a great guy, you must have totally misinterpreted what he said--he probably meant it as a complement.

It is really really hard sometimes to raise happy, confident, street smart geeky kids. I wasn't prepared for the amount of fear and rage I would experience as a geek mom, with kids following in my footsteps. I don't want to infect any of my children with fear. I'm trying to give them the experience and guided freedom to be able to pick out men and women in any crowd who could help them if they felt unsafe and I wasn't there. I want me kid to find you and your friends @Arkandel, when she or he is in an uncomfortable situation and needs safe people near. But my god it is hard trying to explain how difficult it is to try give pointers on how to spot this going on if you can't see it. I don't know.

I have been totally sucked into that thispersondoesnotexist site.

The complications of when you had a really shitty parent, as time goes on. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month ago. I felt nothing then and feel nothing now, which makes me a bitch. Or I do feel something--a little angry maybe that the biopsy results mean she gets targeted radiation no chemo and is expected to not have much of an impact long term on her health now that she's had a very minimal partial mastectomy. Meanwhile I have been to 3 funerals in the last 2 years all of friends with kids my kids' ages (the older ones anyway) who have died of cancer. I have cried more over the many friends I've driven to chemo appointments or hung out with to be someone nearby and doing housework on bad days. (I'm a woman of a certain age, so I would say that for the last 5 years I've had a constant stream of loved friends going through this.)

So pretty much this makes me an epic cold bitch. Especially when I'm more upset that I'm not upset, and even a little angry that she will likely remain in good health while other, fantastic moms I know are in the ground. But it is what it is. I wish I could be sad instead of...blank.

Being what seems to be the lone Rando Stranger at an event where everyone else seems to know each other, and still having fun because they're actually oocly friendly and the story is engaging. Even if I'm totally out of my league!

And also, getting to make one of your mush besties squealy-happy with something that I made! Sometimes it's the little things.

Getting all the paperwork registration done (and getting to hang out with my eldest for the incoming 10 grader orientation/AP info night) for my oldest 3 kids to enter high school for the first time (our district is moving from a Jr high model of 7-9/10-12 schools to a middle school/comprehensive high school of 6-8/9-12 model for secondary grades--so they all move up together instead of me having to split school again) and starting the process for preschool registration for my youngest...at the same time.

It is a sweet reminder of how fast time moves and how precious this time is...and how much I love being a mom.

I am of German-Japanese descent. But I very rarely play biracial people on games because tbh especially with part asian folks they tend to be fetishized or I will get comments about how exotic or mixed people/babies are prettier.

It's not something I really want to deal with in my fantasy life, tbh. I heard it and experienced it enough. (Imagine being amerasian with auburn hair and also hanging out in game stores in the 90s. I heard/experienced a lot of gross stuff from "they're just awkward" men, though granted just having tits would have done it I'm sure. But a lot of those comments were very specific to my appearance and a lot of people making them were very proud of themselves for not just being into 100 percent white people.

I do not have an issue with people playing what they want, I've played male and female PCs of various cultural and racial backgrounds.

But sometimes the reasons why one might not want to play a female POC in particular may also stem from unwanted ooc behavior in the past, too. Or cringeworthy behavior on the part of others playing a brown or black PC to go on an exotic adventure.