Best posts made by mietze

@surreality

I believe TS shaming to be just as prevalent as it was in the 90s. Perhaps even more so, because instead of "oh they write smut" at all, now it has morphed into "don't trust that player with that plot/bother to RP with them, they only care about TSing" and it makes access to plot and activity even more curtailed (since now there's mostly other-player STs rather than staff run things).

The OOC defamation stuff is just really toxic on games, always has been, but now that there's been a change to a need to rely on the goodwill of other players for any kind of non-social play. So reputation and goodwill is arguably even more important than it ever has been.

I assume he's a Christian. Jeez, you'd think he'd be more grateful!

Well, that too, IMO is another expression of "you're just not as hardcore as me, you just can't handle real stuff, go back to your tea parties." And then "don't RP/give plot hooks to/bother with Person X. They only like fluffy bunny play and/or don't like to take consequences for their actions" (both death knells to active play for a player especially one who isn't established/does not have much of a rep).

For fucks sake, how can two pairs of panties of the same size/make/model/fabric type/style have one color that fits super cute and comfy and then the other one falls off my ass after I walk for 5 minutes with nowhere for an emergency yank up? Whhhhyyyyy? It's annoying enough that size is a suggestion rather than an actual measurement across brands/styles with brands for women's clothing. I hate reverse wedgies/droopy drawers.

So really, I don't know that I believe there is less shaming or even that it's functionally different. The goal is to destroy reputation/get people to not play with that person as well as ego strokes for one's own play/elevating one's own status.

And yes, I guess it only matters truly personally if you care about the person doing the shaming--but on an online game where rep can deny you access to even basic interaction if someone has poisoned the well enough (Because most people won't bother to make their own assessment, unless said poisoner starts doing it to them and they realize that maybe the problem is that person)--it does matter, if you want to play in that location and not hide who you are. Which can be problematic because in building contacts with people, that subject often comes up. So it's...complicated, I guess.

@Pandora I may have to do just that on a semi regular basis. I had no idea how much stress and burnout I was carrying until this week! And I found a wonderful drop in daycare that the 3 year old loves!

Maybe I'm weird. (Well okay, yes, I am.) But regardless of whether I make up some 20 page detailed as fuck background (Don't worry @surreality I would never and have never included detailed descriptions of my PC's orgasms for some poor staff bastard to get stuck reading) or nothing...they actually aren't fully living or even settled until /I start playing them/. Sometimes I prefer the less intense than your every shit for the last 150 years backgrounds precisely because as I understand more about the PC it allows me to more easily adapt and slot other people in or build connections with people. As long as you have the guideposts in I do not think a huge florid background detailing everything enriches RP and may detract from it. (A lot of people are so wrapped up in themselves by that point they can't really go with the flow and then are stuck on a place that once they start playing isn't like what it seemed like on chan--not in a bad way--but now they've turned themselves unchangably into something that can't interact well with anyone else).

I think where rosters fail is when they attempt to be both pre-gen and overly detailed in background/contacts. I do think having a list of PCs 1-6 with a line or two about what they're statted for (Roster #1 is a PC who isn't great for physical combat but is statted for wheeling and dealing. Roster #2 is a PC who is a magic user who is heavily focused on the fartcrafting sphere of magic. Roster #3 is a PC who is suitably statted to be a tourney champion in the making but s/he still has some room to improve. Roster #3 is a seasoned decker, top of their game in skill related to decking but they've sustained some injuries in the meantime which greatly hinder their physical abilities in the meatworld.). Just the basics explaining to people what the build of the PC can do. (WHen people get scared of CG I've found it's because they dont know how to build what they want to build yet if it's new to them). Let them have the statted skeleton, and then let THEM decide gender, name, background (detailed or not), ect.

I feel this would probably more accomplish what people actually seem to want out of rosters. You could add in PC hooks too, I like that idea in principle but because of turnover I don't know how realistic that ever is.

And yes. "Moderate pain" can be profoundly hard to deal with, and even provoke suicidal ideation, especially when it's chronic. I'm not saying that people aren't impacted severely even if their pain isn't a 9 or 10 on the therapeutic scale before anyone jumps my shit for that.

Just--when you are talking to a rehab team or for a functional diagnosis, it's helpful to be sure to describe both the nature of the pain itself but also how it impacts your daily life and ability to care for yourself/do your basic activities of daily living.

The pain scale is supposed to incorporate that, but sadly a lot of providers do not do a good job of educating folks on what the numbers mean (and perhaps don't know themselves!) so it sometimes is pretty useless.

My opinion on alt policy is really individualized to the game.

Is it a small game, with a single competative "sphere" where it is highly likely to have all PCs or many of them constantly in each other's space?

Then I am heavily in favor of one PC per player.

Is it a small game, cooperative, where it is highly likely to have all PCs or many of them constantly in each other's space?

Then I am okay with alts, but would prefer 2-3 max per player, with restrictions on class of PC to minimize alt crossover (either of the my PCs are helping each other out, or I will make 3 PCs that all center around this other player's 1 PC variety).

Is it a large game, with plentiful staff, where there is in theory ample room for PCs to be way spread out with no interaction at all? Sky's the limit.

With the following caveats for the latter two:

COI must be defined and rigidly enforced. First time catching bad behavior, you get to pick on alt and retire all the rest. Poor player behavior is to be managed. (As in, if you have staff who do not want to run scenes at all because Asshole has to be in EVERY SINGLE SCENE with an alt and behaves like...themselves...then you need to punt asshole, or set limits on how many staff run scenes per week that any player can attend, or some other management of the actual problem person.)

Trashy true crime documentaries + Unsolved Mysteries + Autopsy (HBO) series + air crash disaster documentaries

Also zit popping YouTube videos. I almost went to esthetician school because I can think of nothing more blissful to do than comedone extractions and ripping the hair off of people.

My only real foray into fandom was when I was 12-14 and I was involved in a play by mail Star Trek (the original, there were no new series yet) rpg + fan club fusion organization. You got ranks you could move up! There were meet ups. Thank god that I did not run across any true weirdos since I was a very isolated girl and some of those meet ups could have gone very VERY badly. (It happened in the pre-Internet days too, kids).

Anyway. While yes, some of the people were rabid fans of the original content (and mega fans of the paperback series that was mostly originalish), and would debate about stuff, the real drama happened within the organization because that's where the people mingling happened.

I do not think mushers are like tv show fans. I think mushing entitlement tends to be much more like what happens in a fan club or PTA--where people decide to treat each other like shit, crusty old people can't stand the thought of new blood OMFG might change something that I put into place with my PC that I've changed over 2 times since, unable to disagree without making the other person out to be Wrong!Bad!

Add in the at least one eeyore personality, the passive aggressive folks, the habitually helpless, the control freaks, ect--yeah, I'd say the entitlement stuff on a mush plays out more like a local fan club or small community organization than a more diffuse group. There is a perceived intimacy involved, but many times the loudest people and the most obnoxious folks (staff or player) tend to inflate their own investment/importance while being rather blind to anyone else's, especially when it comes to a question of them "winning" or getting what they want.

It's human nature, as anyone who has been part of a pta/booster club/social org can tell you.

I think it can apply to just about anyone yeah. It's kind of like the old adage don't talk shit about someone in "private" about a mush and then be all butt hurt or shocked when they inevitably hear about it.

If you can't handle people calling you on your bullshit then maybe don't blast or make fun on people when a ton of people know damn well your behavior elsewhere. I have often wondered, especially when it's in an aggressive convo here, where the speaker knows there are people present who know how they've behaved, why they become so vocal about how horrible that behavior is?

For the most part I think most folks even here are very much "eh not worth it" when it comes to responding, but eventually you are gonna get on someone's last nerve.

It's happened before, it'll happen again. And it is certainly not limited to gamer geeks. (As anyone who's ever been a part of a volunteer org knows.)

I agree that the dickery needs to be I there and I like the examples. It will not stop people who are dicks from being them (they rarely are self aware in my experience). But I like that other people when they are being treated poorly can see that and say "wow, it really is okay if I forward that mail or submit that log to staff because they care about if someone is doing those things."

If the meetup is held in Seattle I'll make a couple of Jell-O shot cakes. Maybe even a whole one for WTFE.

In disclosure, my husband has been a developer in the gaming industry for almost 20 years now. Right now he doesn't go to exhibitions much, but he used to. Because of his work and the area we live in, I know people in all facets of the industry (from one of the hiring staff at Microsoft who hired their booth babes for E3 like 15 years ago, to people who do various console games, app games, art people, writers, ect.) I don't think anyone I know would say with a straight face that sexy stuff isn't used at pretty much all levels of game development and marketing. (Maybe the old fashioned strategy games, but it's not like they don't also go to various exhibitions where the big games that do use that to draw in people and ride the coattails a bit).

But all of that being said--if someone cannot tell the difference between a writer/exhibitor who is including NO sexy winking at all in their work, and gets angry when it isn't there, or otherwise behaves like a pig...then that is a major issue with that person (and yes with the culture, which would be still having to work through this even if all women from writers/programers/artists/demonstrators wore burquas.) It is NOT the fault of the booth babes/bikini streamers. I think disdain for them is a problem, and a way to shunt off responsibility from the people who are the ones behaving inappropriately.

I do feel kind of old though that my first thought in seeing that would be of the "gay friendly" days and non-discrimination in the parks (well aware that record has not been spotless either). My culty church of my childhood used to protest the parks on "Gay Days" and boycotted it the rest of the year and it was a very big Bad Thing That Will Ruin Our Country because Disney wouldn't denounce or discriminate against the people coming in.

I'm kind of glad that someone else's first thought might be to roll their eyes and assume that the person getting the tattoo was ignorant to Disney's problematic at best decisions for their films and franchises and the objection is to it being a media conglomerate. Totally not denying that's a problem. But to me that is kind of progress, where of course it is not unique for LGBTQ+ folks to feel welcome and wanted at any amusement park or vacation chain, so why would that be even thought of.

But by the same token? Maybe it's just a stupid tattoo, totally could be. I've totally seen stupider (to me) ones, but I'm sure their wearer must have liked them just fine.

I did not say entertainment or demo was not work. I'm not sure why you seem to look down on demonstrators, they're vital to the industry and frankly they are often under appreciated because if they are doing their job correctly it looks effortless.

I am saying though that their work is still work. Different than yours. If you want to get the sexy streamer audience then you need to do the work to get there. Pretty sure most cam work people would say there's more involved than what it seems regardless of content. If someone who does sexy streaming wants to do the sort of work you do then they will need to adjust and do the work to get there too.

If your platform is allowing off topic things, that's something to address with your platform. It is not the fault of the other users.

My eldest takes Adderall as a young adult and did not start until he was 17. No negative side effects and honestly the relief and transformation was pretty mind blowing. He was very reluctant to try medication and we did not want to push. It took a little while to figure out the dosing but it has been a life changer for him. And no, no zombie effects.

I took Wellbutrin for it as an off label (stimulant drugs do not sit well with my chemistry) until I wanted to start a family. I'm really the only person i personally know whose brain LOVES bupropion and I never have side effects from it (obv I'm not the only one though, its just that most folks I know have horrible side effects from it.) It is a wonder drug for me personally.

So I would say there are options. Not everyone will respond well to stimulants but I think the vast majority of people will. If stimulants are not something you want to try there are alternatives but uts like any other brain chemistry thing, you might have some trial and error for awhile. Having both seen and experienced the difference in quality of life though if you are suffering it's definitely worth a shot esp if non medication coping strategies aren't working to the level you need them at.

And to be clear, I think house rules have a place on MUs. It's just that they tend to be implemented as knee jerk reactions to assholes then applied sort of to everyone else, rather than thoughtful and balancing things independent of reactionary stuff because of a big blow up--and thus very many times creating more problems than they solve..while not doing anything to eliminate the real problem.

I think that certainly in the US the culture we have created is one in which we will now reap the consequences. But honestly the people that most "deserve" those consequences are never the ones that will pay them. I'm watching the behavior of my extended family this week and I'm sure the next, and I can't be sad anymore, just numb. But I'm feeling that about a lot of covid impact stuff now, because I'm still dealing with the impact of losing 14 clients in the first 2 months that it became news in the US, dealing with phones and seeing clients i knew lose everything and talk suicide on the phone and be able to do nothing to help them. I'm glad I'm in a job where I do not have to deal with that so directly, but I also know there are families with kids in our care who are deniers or what's the big dealers, so I have resigned myself to our center being hit at some point.

I really worry for our front line health professionals 6 months out. Especially the ones now getting abused by patients Nd family members whose cognitive dissonance is being torn from them so they need to scapegoat the staff. I imagine what I'm working through is less than a quarter of what they do.