Best posts made by mietze

A mentor and friend of mine passed away a little earlier than expected last night (she had just entered home hospice care (thank god she got to leave the hospital) and was planning some goodbye calls in the next few days, including with me tonight) after a real knock down drag out fight with cancer that came back.

Between that, the continued severe depression I am doing my best to try and keep to a functional level, and a couple of demoralizing things online that shouldn't be that big of a deal but are hitting me hard because...well it's just fucking 2020 I'm going to maybe try to cut down on online time for a couple of days. Not fit company for anyone and nobody needs to see that.

Also, while we do like to argue and philosophize over accuracy sometimes I do not believe it is necessarily relevant to storytelling or enjoyable reading for many people.

No I am not talking about penetrating the cervix levels of inaccuracy here, but pick up most erotica or romance novels and see how well they truly reflect how things work emotionally or situationally in RL. Even when the writers are writing about the gender and sexual attraction they hold in RL.

I think a lot of people's portrayals of pregnancy are boring or unintentionally humourous or needlessly restrictive. I ran 5k every other day until a few weeks into my 2nd trimester and worked as a massage therapist almost every day until the week before my c-section with my last pregnancy--when I was 39. I am pretty sure when and if I portray that I will be accused of Doing It Wrong, even though in my mind not portraying your PC as being functionally cognitively impaired after having twins in their first year, and the fact that nobody kills off their PC in childbirth in a low-fantasy setting or portrays prolapsed uterii or major complications after pushing out a ton of kids or multiple multiples in a handful of years is much more inaccurate. Does that stuff happen to everyone no (I had 3 kids in 18 months and still dont pee when I sneeze or laugh, despite #4 being a monster sized baby). Is every woman glowing or delicate or for that matter super athletic during their pregnancy no. It is okay to want to play the movie/handwavy book version (or do something that reflects your personal experience or the opposite of your personal experience). Do what you like, as long as you are not doing a harmful stereotype.

As long as you are not harming anyone in your play, what you choose to do or not do is your call, and players should learn to just roll their eyes in private if necessary and move on if they arent part of it. About a lot of things.

Having lost someone to pancreatic cancer I am getting choked up thinking about how much fucking pain she was probably going through while still holding shit together like the badass she was.

@Cupcake that sounds like the run of the mill imposter syndrome/if I do or dont do this specific character type people will think I am a shit rper and nobody will like me stuff that many of us have.

I am not really sure it is a get-overable thing since even if there was no sexytimes at all I bet that sense of worry would transfer over to something else. Race, culture, type of PC (fighter vs scholar vs mundane vs magical), ect. I do think because sex and relationships are such a vulnerable thing to many folks and also because many of us grew up in the OMFG U TS SLUT era, it adds another layer of anxiety though.

I am still of the opinion that if someone were to look at you and say "omfg you dont RP the breadth of sexual expression I think you should" that the fault lies in them being an asshole, not in your disinterest or discomfort.

Lawsuit document here: https://www.scribd.com/document/480694976/Weis-and-Hickman-v-WoTC

Interesting reading. Not sure how unusual it is but.

Yeah, honestly, I would not have a problem restricting non-local pcs. It just doesn't read the same to me as disability restrictions. I cannot really put my finger on why. maybe the exotification of it? I am sure this was meant well but it really makes me super uncomfortable.

I hate having to play What's That Smell in the fridge. Its fucking clean! And still I am having to play this game while also home sick. I guess it means its not with the coronavirus, so that is good on balance.

While I have only really done it with names/personalities it does not bother me when others do it. I even have a soft spot for a notorious one (Izzy) who is just sweet as pie and harmless ooc in my dealings with her.

If I worried about all the things people do that dont even remotely affect my PC ( I've seen their PC on every wod game I've played in the last 10 years, if I have a new PC it's new to my PC so who the fuck cares) then I do not think I could enjoy myself on the game. And in fact I burn out when I start to worry about things like that (overly focused on meaningless things that I have no control over).

@greenflashlight lucky!!!

I really like the idea of including desired content. That would def help people who love or dont mind certain things being able to RP that, and those who maybe aren't so interest not jump in and then get grumpy. (Like a rescuing someone/tending to them scene, I find people have a varying enjoyment of those depending on how often they have had to do that with that person or that week in general). I am sure targeted content will piss someone off but I think it would be great. Light getting to know you social, plot info about x, rescue me, be pickpockets by me, gossip about x situation, ect. I think it might encourage some people to get out and about if it wasnt such a random grab bag.

I don't think procrastination can be cured so much as worked through. For me the only the only thing that helps is discipline of putting time in, even if I'm not thrilled with the results.

For writing, it's shrugging off the inner editor and just writing for a block of time, and worrying about editing later. For housework it's telling the voice of my mother inside my head to STFU bitch, and just put the time in. When I chaired a nonprofit organization (which no one who truly knows me would have believed me to be capable of in a million years, especially the one I inherited which was so fucking noncompliant as far as legal requirements it was terrifying, and because of Reasons it needed to be cleaned up right away and that got dropped in my lap) I had to force myself to dedicate 6 hours a week, timed and organized, to work on stuff from the time the timer went on until the signal and then just walk away from it, as long as it wasn't something like finishing a web form or something like that). When I wanted to improve my pottery skillz, I had to learn to be okay with once I fucked something up instead of trying to rescue or screeching internally to just cut it off, put it on the to be wedged pile, and immediately keep going with the next lump, until class was over.

I wasted a lot of time thinking that I needed to be in the right mindset at the right time in order for something to be worth doing. For me and my very distracted/procrastinating personality that will not come unless I just start on it and keep going (preferably in some sort of routine, though my routines seldom look like other people's). It's not sexy, but it's the only thing that gets me through projects and improves my skills.

@Thenomain npc implies some purpose of plot or in game IC direction/supervision/touchstone utilized by staff.

A PC could be anything. Maybe they'll be great at handing out/disseminating plot, or maybe they will just sit in their ic apartment with their thumb up their ass while they brag about their stats or overshare about their RL on chan, but the choice is theirs.

@silverfox I got a really annoying medication alarm on my phone that will keep buzzing every 10 minutes after a certain time until I click it and then confirm that I've taken that medication. It was super helpful but that probably depends on the person.

I think I enjoy the hobby a lot more now than I have in the past, in part because I no longer feel as compelled to do a lot of emotional labor for others. Or solve every problem that I see. And it's nice to have friends that when I DO get hung up on either one of those things, will lovingly or bluntly tell me to knock it the fuck off.

I have worked for companies where managers were not allowed to provide personal letters of recommendation for a certain amount of time after the employee separated. (They could only confirm employment until that point). This seems a bit weird to me in your situation but if it is standard then presumably it shouldn't hurt your chances either since the other school would have this policy as well. Will the other job accept peer recommendations or personal references vs. supervisory?

It can change drastically between characters, for me. I prefer that, since it helps me a lot to get the widest variety of RP/helps with the restlessness.

@ominous OMG this guy is fecking adorable! I loved the mother's day episode about whether children make the best pets. Thanks for sharing his channel, I'm definitely hooked. My youngest started out just looking over my shoulder but he is so engaging that he watched several videos with me, and they're not short!

It is actually super easy to be tracked down by someone who wants to, even if they have very minimal information. I had a man that I met at a bible camp when we were teens, knew for 1 week and then had no contact with (and I had moved 4 times after that before I left my parents' house!), track me down in a new state 20+ years later, harass me at my business and show up at my business when I was not there and then show up at a public meeting of the organization I was a board member of and sit near me until he finally introduced himself after the meeting. It was the first time I had seen him since bible camp. He wanted to apologize to me for thinking lustful thoughts and committing adultery in his heart.

Did he wave a gun at me no, but I will tell you that was fucking terrifying (a judge agreed and granted me an anti harassment order a few weeks later, not that it would have protected me if this guy escalated).

It is not hard that if a sick fuck gets it in their head to track you down they can. It can and does happen on mushes as well. Not always by showing up in person, but people starting to contact you on other media platforms and emails (I'm not sure how people sleuth that but we do have a lot of sleuths in the hobby. Whether that is stalking people or trying to find out who is who).

Leaving a game/just looking at it as words really doesnt do justice to how it feels when it happens to you. There are some genuinely ill people out there or those who get off on doing gross stuff like that if they feel slighted.

@ominous the anaconda. They are so magnificent and I love snakes. Followed up by the king cobra. I really enjoy reptiles but do not want the responsibility of their care at this point in my life so it's always fun to find folks on YouTube that are engaging and not ducks.

I'm in a similar state with birds (love em but im it would be irresponsible for me to have one, I thought about getting chickens but we have so many predators on our property like owls, weasels, bears, coyotes, bobcats, dogs and cats that neighbors let run free on a rotating basis as they get eaten by aforementioned wild predators that i don't have the time or extra funds to put in predator mitigation stuff) so I enjoy getting my parrot fix with BirdTricks.

@Ghost it doesn't really matter. That info is out there no matter who you do and don't talk to on a mush. I was stalked by my worst creeper guy only by things that are required for me to do by law, and the legal info databases out there.

Sure you could not go anywhere, belong to any clubs and never be part of a profession far requires state licensing I guess.

I am far more worried about freaks showing up somewhere because I'm a massage therapist than I am mushers.