Best posts made by mietze

I have training this afternoon so I am going in to work later, which means I finally have time to drop off a couple of life-sized realistic baby dolls at a care facility nearby. Their memory care unit has a program where they have a library of cuddly baby dolls and lifelike dog and cat stuffed animals that residents can hold and cuddle and keep with them in their rooms/while they are out in the common areas. Apparently it really helps some of the residents with stress/soothing, gives them something pleasurable to do and motivation to interact with others (staff and other residents). I told my coworkers about it and I may have a couple more to drop off next week! They have a surplus of the animals so we have decided to be the baby patrol.

I watched one of my coworkers try to choke down a bowl of cauliflower "fried rice" today for her lunch. She is going keto and was interested in talking about it (and I don't mind talking about food like ever, so win!). Someone had told her that cauliflower is "bland" and so that's why you can substitute it in things. I have never understood that at all--to me it has a very strong distinctive taste (that I LOVE so even though I'm fat I will eat your cauliflower crust pizza and riced cauliflower because I love it and it's yummy!). I wish people would stop telling people that they won't taste the difference or somehow riced cauliflower can be substituted for rice. It really can't! That's just setting people up to fail, or to be upset about their food and disappointed to have something for lunch that they don't enjoy at all.

I have been lucky enough to enjoy a lot of very deeply satisfying and vibrant historical setting RP (including a lot of the not so nice aspects and tensions). But I will be honest. Whether that was in flashbacks OR in a historical themed mush, it's always been with a smaller playgroup or even one other person who enjoyed engaging on that level and had a similar desire for the level of "accuracy" or research or whatnot. I have NEVER found that "in general" on a historical place. I think that is okay, and if you want to play on a historical place like it or not you are going to have to be able to tolerate some deviation from your desired levels of things. Just like if you want to be super involved in a sphere or faction PROBABLY (not always) you're going to have to engage in specialized BaRP that may be amazing some of the time, fun hopefully a majority of the time, and downright painful much of the time as you rub elbows with people you don't know/aren't your preferred type. But if you are able to be tolerant during the BaRP esp. if you are new and without contacts, eventually you'll find hopefully 1 or 2 people that you can engage more fully with.

I will say that probably one of the reasons why I like tofu and seitan is because I have always had access to fresh, locally produced products. The vaccum packed shelf stable stuff is gross (imo).

@surreality yeah, just saying that I think that's a different facet of being an ass. I had some lady on a fading suns game lose her shit on me about how I was stupid and racist obviously because I rped that my character was bilingual from her childhood days and how I dare rp about something that was so presumptive and incorrect. She was linguist and knew how those things worked and her kids were biracial/cultural and weren't bilingual. I wasnt playing it right.

She was an obnoxious dick. About a lot of other things apparently.

Exposure to lots of different foods is great for kids but please dont beat yourself up if there are things they cant handle taste/texture wise, a lot of that can just be how they are! And the buggers change their preferences sometimes at the drop of a hat!

@Arkandel that is where I am too but only because I have realized that they wouldn't listen even if I tried to explain why what they were doing was a bit twingy. And honestly why bother spending time where I actually get to RP, time that is precious to me, trying to convince the unconvincable for....what purpose? I wont enjoy their company, likely, and they wont enjoy mine or care about its absence.

Yes. At my company that is very easily a call to HR.

@Alamias yup!

In my thirties it seems like it was the time to spend many many hours in chemo rooms and hospital rooms and at friends' houses while they battled breast cancer and lymphoma primarily. I was super lucky and only lost 2 friends.

In my 40s it seems like now I spend a lot of time trying to (very inadequately) support friends whose children have died ODing. 4 times in almost as many months, though I have not really known the adult kiddo in question until this morning.

I first met him when my now-teens were toddler/babies. My twins were 5 months old at the time and I was both desperate to have time where I was not covered in babies but also super freaked out about leaving them anywhere. My friend and her son were working the church nursery that week and I certainly trusted her so I got an hour reprieve. I came back to see this huge beefy football player 17 year old kid rocking in a rocking chair with one of my babies in each arm, talking to them as they gazed adoringly at him, enraptured by this big boy. It melted my heart. He was off to his own life and lots of troubles before I knew him well. Just the struggles his mom shared with me. But I think of that and it's hard to not cry to think of that vulnerable and complicated boy. He was in recovery and doing well and this morning was a surprise but I know that's so hard. Addiction sucks. Cancer sucks. It is hard to breathe. And I dont know how to support friends who have faced losses that I dont even have an inkling of, as I have only dealt with miscarriages, not the loss of a child that one had seen grow and loved and fought with and worried over for so long.

And of course, the big major work audit happens this morning, surprise, while we are understaffed. The cherry on top of a shit sundae day I guess.

@Alamias I don't remember his name but he was the guy who also had a vamp PC wife. They would open up scenes with them fucking each other or NPCs randomly. I remember his name was really stupid too. She actually seemed nice on her own but was just really quiet.

Disenfranchised grief (or any really) blows.

@Pandora my birthdad and brothers live in Houma.

I had a really scary day at work today and adrenaline crashes suck.

Ark wasn't the creator of this space. The creator did hand it over to him. He has made some changes unilaterally. So I would still say that any given space even looking here as example, it's still largely the owner that makes the decisions. Sometimes the handover works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the handover doesnt happen and a place shuts down. I think usually the users of a space believe themselves to have more power over it than they do. I wish this made all people more grateful for the space while it exists, but...yeeah.

All three of my teens started their part time jobs today. They all got a few nibbles with their apps but ultimately I guess they decided they wanted to work at the exact same place.

Which is a) convenient and b) kinda cute/sweet but I kind of feel sorry for the manager.

Also. When you open a space whether that is a group, message board, mush, ect I think most people have a vague idea of how they will handle situations in general, but the Law of People means that you are guaranteed to face all the things you did not know were a thing or thought surely never, as well as every single thing you did plan for and warn people about because the people who like to do the things that you warn people not to do tend to not think warnings apply to them and their reasons for doing those things. If they even read them in the first place.

People will abuse your space. They will use it to abuse others. They will probably do it right under your nose and you wont see it always. You will make shitty decisions sometimes. You will give the wrong people several chances and be severe with some people that probably would have learned after a serious discussion.

I do not think you can plan for every contingency nor will crafting the perfect rules mean that you will not unwittingly permit something very bad to happen or a bad actor to use the space in a way that hurts someone else.

But you can as an owner/administrator be as transparent as you can be, you can own your decisions, you can make the best decisions you can. And the participants can choose to stay or not (making their own decisions). Maybe they won't give you any quarter, and maybe they will give you more chances than you deserve.

But ultimately it IS just one space/board/social media group/playspace/whatever. Sometimes I think we build up all these superhuman expectations or frankly inappropriate levels of importance attached to a project (either for ourselves and others) and it really ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy of failure.

When atmospheric and weather conditions are just right in the valley--tonight I get to hear a free Gipsy Kings concert by opening my windows, courtesy of one of the big name winery's concert series. Most of the time we can kind of hear it but not clearly--but tonight is awesome.

These days I feel kind of weird, because I would prefer to skip graphic intercourse pretty much, and move to the before/after. It's not that I mind graphic, I don't. Or that I think people are boring, usually if I'm in the position at all for there to have been sexytimes, it's with someone whose RP I enjoy, and I am sure I would enjoy that scene with them too. I am just more interested in the things leading up to/responses afterwards and would rather spend the time on that, especially if it's happened before?

But talking about TS can be One Of Those Things. Can you say "I prefer to FTB graphic sex, but can promise lots of RP around it/am happy to work out details of stuff they would now know about the PC if desired/I am not judging you and it's okay if you would rather NOT engage in relationship RP with someone who isn't going to provide that at the frequency you like" without coming across as someone who is just saying that but is a super hyper controlling stalky freak person? I don't know that you can. Mostly due to my own biases that almost every PC that I have engaged in RP with that had a super long or overly complicated explanations about their RP has tended to be someone who is super needy or controlling.