Best posts made by mietze

My child surprise is 8! Which is a bittersweet thing!

@Ghost some of it may just be cultural/familiarity, at least for older gamers who played on places where that was often used to humiliate/cheat? I think most perceived violating behavior that I have heard about in the last say 6 or 7 years or so has largely revolved around multi-platform spying/whisper campaigns, ect. Not so much dark staffers in rooms or pulling histories.

I would be really curious to see what people who have only been doing this for the last 3 or 4 years think of when it comes to privacy on a game. My guess is that it will be all over the map but more about harassment than cheating or trying to catch people breaking "rules". These days I think it is more expected than not that every scene will be logged by at least one participant--i do not remember that expectation (and in fact people would freak out at the thought) of someone logging all interactions each time (which catches all private/ooc communication too).

It is a pretty interesting thought.

Military/Ex-Military people seem to fall 50/50 on the chill factor, but the most screamy obnoxious "military" people do seem to be wannabes if you ask them questions about military life that's not super wikipediable and they stumble.

But I dunno. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, because having grown up in the military I know that for sure there are a lot of bad/mean/stupid people in it along with all the normal folks, so it's not like they couldn't have served but just been a moron.

For a few years I helped to moderate a non-racist non-right wing prepper site. I know what you mean about the armchair John Waynes. If only I'd been there with my gun I would have saved the day shitheads. I find it tiresome. No person with half a brain in their head and firearms training and a lick of common sense thinks that if only they had been there with their CCW they would have stopped the theater shooter or any of that shit. So if someone is swinging their balls around on that, it has more to do with making THEMSELVES feel better/safer than anything else. I don't blame people. It's a lot easier to lie to yourself that you'd be a hero than to face the unknown.

I think most folks are aware. But that is just kind of how things are. Every once in awhile you will have someone who will wear out their welcome almost universally, sorta, even here--but it isnt very often and if they want to they'll be able to find a place to play at.

That's why I think concentrating on a truly big picture is futile and exhausting. As staff or as a player really the only think you are ever going to be able to control is what you personally do, so I think if privacy and use of information from non game sources is important, you need to ask staff if they do not have a policy posted or write and amend over time if needed as staff.

We can have the expectation that these things will never change on any game we play/staff, but honestly I'm not sure that is a useful or even realistic expectation.

I am exhausted in every way possible(mental/emotional/physical/spiritual), feeling very down on myself in many ways, fighting both all the literally fucking trees in my area plus some weird illness that's going around our school but isn't covid.

I just want to sleep and maybe have carrot cale for breakfast for a few days.

@Tinuviel honestly when I hear "ban" I do not think of anything other than removal from the game. I was unaware that many people would say "ban" when what they meant was /any/ punishment in game even if it did not remove that player from the game.

If you have never done any kind of post-secondary education, I would say relax, be smarter than most 17-18 year olds and take advantage of the student services offered (study help, office hours, career prep, IF you have the time even getting involved in student groups, especially if you go the community college route, it can be an awesome way to network/make connections). You will have a couple of years of "core curriculum" if you want to work towards a bachelors so you do NOT need to have every damn thing plotted out in advance right away. If you have a long term goal in mind then that is awesome, but even if you decide to shift away from it, you won't have wasted your time. As long as you're going to an accredited school, many places will allow you transfer credits even 8 years old, and sometimes (like in the case of my prior degree) the current college accepted those transfer credits even though they were 18+ years old. I would take some time to look at several programs before you decide where you want to go. Even if you're looking at a 4 year degree, it may be a lot more cost effective to do your core curriuculum at a community college (and frankly the instruction may be better in a 20 person 101 class vs. a 300 person one at a major university.) but make sure that it's at a place that will transfer to the other institutions you're looking at.

And there is a lot of $$ out there for scholarships, even for older students and /especially/ for first time college students. It may be in bits in and pieces ($500 here and there) but it's worth filling out forms and doing the bullshit essays, ect, because they can really add up. I had to do a lot of that to pay for school my first time around, and my oldest is looking into it now (we will be able to fund at least half of every child's education at a state school, but they can make those dollars we can contribute go further with scholarships/going to CC, ect). And once you have a semester or year under your belt with good grades you'll have access to more.

@Auspice So you did not hire people who did not want to perform the tasks required for the role that you wanted filled. By definition that is not hiring the most reluctant or people who do not want the job--you are hiring only people who wish to fulfill the expectations of that job.

That is a very far cry from having a prime qualifier for the role of staff be a reluctance to doing the work.

I think the problem comes when people do NOT have specifics as to what they are hiring for and then dont ger what they want because they havent bothered to tell anyone or expect people to know due to common sense. I have seen head wiz make that mistake a lot, and invariable blame the people for not being good staffers when in fact they didn't communicate they expectations and avoided until they could not do so anymore firing anyone who could not meet expectations once explained.

Fucking landline and ISP monopolies. Flooding and construction cut power and phone lines on Friday--power is back but the phone/ISP company is like maybe we'll come take a look on Tuesday, LOL.

@Auspice having staffed with her? Sometimes she got hired and stayed hired because she actually could be a great administrator when she was in the good part of the cycle. Sometimes she played the part of reluctant staffer too. I have seen plenty of people play folks with that shit too.

Nice people make for shitty admin sometimes. Not so nice people can do a great job. Some of the most destructive awful game wrecking people I have personally experienced come across as reasonable, mellow, competent people...until they don't.

Perhaps defined expectations, reevaluated on a somewhat consistent basis, and hiring people with the skills and desires to meet those expectations, and letting people go no matter how great they may have been at some point when it is clear they can/will not continue to uphold the standards desired is a much better way to look at it rather than what they do or don't say that they want.

"The Public Schools" are not the same everywhere. Just like just because something is a private school doesn't mean that there is not even more coddling and kowtowing to parental demands that the specialness of their snowflake be attended to.

All throughout elementary school my kids never submitted anything by email. For one big project in both 5th and 6th grade they had to type up their reports (in addition to giving oral presentations along with their powerpoints as well as fielding questions and comments from teacher/class on the fly). They did receive computer lab instruction starting in the 3rd grade to help them learn the skills they'd need for those projects. Until then (and even until the final draft) all work was handwritten.

In 7th grade my daughter submits some things by email/google docs. Some of her textbooks are online too (she has to check out the paper kind from the library or use them during class, which is irritating because we don't have the money for an updated laptop (and all 3 bigs must share it) or an additional computer right now and her kindle is so old it won't accept the new formatting. But considering that my last college experience when I went back to school it seemed like most of the core education courses were submitting stuff via email or the equivalent, I suppose that's the way of the world now. So I'd rather her learn to manage that shit in 7th and 8th grade than in 9th or even worse college when it really counts.

@Arkandel I have found/experienced that people treat you very differently when you are known as a PrP runner as well. Even on games where there wasnt a game reward (like xp/beats/story points) for doing so.

Sometimes it meant people treated you a little worse in the sense of behaving like they were entitled to something from you, or that obviously you were a "staff pet" or being suspicious, but most of the time it's a net gain especially if allows you to broaden your RP circle, at least in my experience.

And prp runners even sometimes get the same critiques (only in it for the XP or their friends' pcs!) as staff STs!!

And now they refuse to give updates or any estimate of when things will be repaired.

Yes. I realize our mini "neighborhood" is the old country/rural ish parcel sandwiched between two McMansion land developments and gee it's so inconvenient for you to have to service us, Frontier, but...fuck you. My husband telecommutes to fucking London which means he can't do his work like he needs to while this is out, and we are totally without landlines in the meantime.

Might be time to bite the bullet and pay to have cable run out here for the internet only option. At least then there would be an option. Waiting a week calling every day with no update or proactive communication and only finding out things by walking down and talking to repair crews who weren't even on our repair ticket (they were there for our neighbor who called a day after we did)--unacceptable!

@Roz yep. I do love it when wiz staff has very clear and concise expectations that are shared when they're looking to hire though. Always a major major plus when I see that!

Now that I've had two years to settle into it, I have to admit that while it certainly has its challenges and sorrows, I'm having more fun and am more relaxed and enjoying myself with the baby I had a couple months shy of 40 than having all my other kids in my 20s. Sometimes the LOLcurveballs the universe throws are kind of enjoyable, at least this one is for me.

@Arkandel yep, I think that happens more often than not. I know I usually havent minded unless people start commenting ic that my pc is "never there" on these adventures/development arcs (I do not st with my pc present) and that sorta pissed me off.

I feel 10000% better eating "clean" for lack of a better word. (Not no carbs, but 'just enough' and mostly nothing processed, which is kind of a bitch.) I really need to do this for my long-term health because of Boring Health Issues. I don't have any cravings or anything, really, but today is a day where I swear to fucking god I would bite a dirty man's butt cheek if it meant that the carb fairy would grant me 5 minutes to eat a bag of Doritos.

I dont think that it ever looks exactly the same person to person tbh.

I love STing. It is my passion. However, I prefer to just be a ST and do not like to play where I do, because what ignites my interest is helping to weave the stories together both personal stories of the PCs and the overarcing plot if any. I love spoilers and am great at keeping them under wraps (thanks to being with my hubs for 20+ years--he loathes spoilers, while I can't really enjoy tv and movies without knowing the story in advance, so I always read in advance and think wikipedia is the BEST EVER.). I do not like spoilers where I play though because the conflict of interest makes ME super stressed out. (I believe many people are the opposite and that is good and lovely!)

Many people think that it is impossible to staff/ST where you don't play. I think that may be true for many people who cannot feel connected without doing so, but I find I have a more intense and fun time when I get to be exclusively ST staff who gets to see the big picture, and the players seem to really react positively when I am hooked in like this. It's a rarity though because I do not think most people can relate and so wanting to staff without playing makes me automatically a power hungry crappy person to some. But in reality its just a matter of having finite energy and I dont often like trying to balance being a player and storytelling staff (thus responsible for bigger picture storylines) as that kind of story building draws from the same "energy bucket" for me and performance suffers at both ends a result.

I can administrate and play just fine, because that FOR ME draws from different buckets.

Oh well this probably doesnt make sense unless you are similar, but there we go.

I hate criticizing other parents. Mostly because I have a healthy fear of the law of karmic retribution, since every "Well MY Kids Will Never Do THAT" type of shitty thing I said out loud (and a few I thought) about other parents in more advanced stages of parenting than me, I have had come up and bite me so hard in the ass I'm suprised I have cheeks to sit on. I'm sure I have my comeuppance yet again now that my first three kids are all teen/tweens, since I was the very best parent ever to teenagers when I only had sweet little kids.

Sometimes kids are little shits. Any parent who claims that their child has never been one is (IMO) lying or delusional. This kid tonight was not being a brat, he was just being a 2 year old who was in an inappropriate environment. That's really what turns it into a peeve for me. Toddlers drop to the ground. All of mine have done that in embarrassing situations (parking lots, the aisle of the airplane, Target, naked in the middle of the locker room floor while soaking wet after swim class, ect). Hell, my twins were bolters so I even tried those leashes (but then they promptly ran crosswise from each other and clotheslined each other full speed the first time I tried those fuckers out).

I understand the difficulties and lack of control over children's behavior. It still doesn't mean I don't get annoyed when a parent chooses to bring their child to an area where it is clearly marked that they're not supposed to be, and then willfully chooses to ignore then while they are doing things that are dangerous/part of the reason why children that age are not allowed to be in that area.

That really has nothing to do with luck.

I have kids that are not picky eaters and thus will eat almost anything I set in front of them without complaint. That's luck. It has nothing to do at all with fantastic parenting on my part, because I did nothing at all parenting wise to receive that. I have a good friend whose child has had suicidal ideations and attempts since he was 8 (he's now in his mid-teens). Also luck, because she is a much better parent than I will ever hope to be, and this terrible thing is happening to her and her child that is neither of their faults.

Bringing your child to an inappropriate and marked place and then ignoring them to the detriment of the many other people using that space appropriately is not luck though, that's a choice. Deciding to do that and then to get pissy when someone speaks to the kiddo to help (I didn't know who the parent was until I did that) is also a choice.

I think it depends on the game though. I do not think it's bad/incorrect to require of staff that they be competent in the RPG system IF that is part of what your expectations are/what you need to run the game you want to run. I could see that being essential on some games, especially if consistency in how scenes are run is important and there's an absence of supportive code.

Will that be important to every game or every game owner/runner no, but it isn't invalid even if some other games do not have that as an important criteria.

I feel like sometimes we get in these circles of argument about the universal best way and I am unconvinced that there is truly one.