Posts made by mietze

I think I am starting to push at the limit of my coping and compartmentalizion strategies to function at work, though we are all in the same boat of burnout right now. The burnout on life period is not helping. I am hoping that a long vacation I have will reset it a bit (and luckily in a staggered way we are all taking them so maybe that will help things over all).

I like the basically of my job, I like getting to play with all the fun office equipment, I love the hours and people, the stability, the benefits, ect. But I also do not want to sacrifice my struggling student next year if school is get again remote leaning. (The other two at home will be fine, but one of my kids just really does not do well with it and not from lack of trying)

Even when thet day is not particularly terrible or stressful I am seldom not thinking "I'm not sure if I can keep doing this." But we will see. Obviously I can take a shovel to the face and keep going past all kinds of situations and things that I always think I can't. So there's that.

Pretty sure if my little boss quits then I likely will as well and I know she is on the edge too.

@HelloProject report him, if you can. What he did was hands down inappropriate. The licensing board should be notified immediately and you have easy grounds for a no contact/anti harassment order too if you want. Do not listen to anyone who says you need to consider his feelings/the implications for him. This behavior is predatory and it is for other folks to sort out, you do not need to take that on.

I really want some merengue mushrooms (the kind with a little dab of chocolate to keep the cap attached to the stem.

Except for a) I don't want to put in the labor to make them and b) I can't have eggs anymore and try to stay away from a lot of sugar.

I'm not sure why I am craving them so bad or why its making me both sad and grumpy but it is what is.

That company is amazing. It was a livesaver for my son who loves actually swimming, but not so much the inherent risks in using a binder while you're doing that. He felt comfortable enough to happily wear his high-compression rashguard even outside of the community bubble (like at Silverwood/Idaho, for one example).

One of the things I like about MUing these days is that there seems to be a really remarkable decline in people who are super freaked out by players RPing a character not of their gender, at least since I first started. I used to see people (especially female players) tell others that they were not the same gender as their PC almost fearfully, as if they expected to lose the RP with those they'd "deceived". I haven't really had that kind of conversation in a good 10 years now, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's on the way out. And I've not heard anyone in many years say that they would never RP with a PC who had a player of the opposite gender, hell not even if it involved TS. I'm sure it still happens though.

I can think of many examples right now of admittedly white players policing how black and brown PCs were being RPed as well as their back stories, while not realizing that the players of those characters were brown or black. This is why I think people should be careful about assumptions, because even do-gooder "ally" people can slip into the very old cultural habit about stepping in to "correct" other people without bothering to learn more about that person, and thet tend to assume the unseen person is also white. And then also sadly mostly digging in their heels when they in turn are called out on that.

It does not matter if you RP something you've actually lived, there is almost always going to be someone happy to lecture you about how unrealistic it is. Sometimes its because their own experience is different, sometimes they just feel extremely empowered by their PhD in Wikipedia.

I am trying to think of a single type of play where this hasn't happened, and I cant really name one, since people will argue to death over differently interpreted minutiae in pure fantasy worlds, or need to tie it into the same RL histories.

I think if someone's RP is just terrible, it's more likely people will just avoid them. If someone takes it upon themselves to go all out lecture/"I shall educate you how to RP this right" mode without even asking questions or finding out more (and especially if they seek to do it publicly first) tbh most of the time at least they're full of shit. I can think of a few exceptions but they're very rare in what I have seen.

I think people need to be careful about what they assume another player's attraction RL is,tbh. Especially now.

I am bi, though I've been married to a man for many years. But I often find that I have dated and been in more relationships with women than the person who is most vocal about policing how I played a character of mine that was pretty much only interested in women. Which is fine? Nobody needs to have experience to identify who you're attracted to. But you cannot also exclude other people and their experience just because it is not as pure or different than yours.

I hate to break it to people but the LGBTQ community and how/if they date and live their lives are not a monolith, just like the straight community. I really with we could do away with the purity tests. I do think it is human nature for people to be extremely vicious with their own community, especially online, and I think unfortunately mushing triggers a lot more online type of behaviors in that regard than not.

When I have seen it crop up most often it is usually in the context of decrying horrible things like helmet requirements, vaccinations, anti-bullying and anti-discrimination discussions in schools, and usually with a dig at wimpy "millenials" (as if they were children) who need participation trophies and to be wrapped in bubble wrap.

Very seldom is it ever in the context of having compassion for other parents or respecting the bodies or needs of children.

Sadly in our areas there are often dogwhistle descriptions or just people outright saying that they fear their precious white children will be taken by brown people/"illegals" in particular. Might wanna keep your eye closer on your kid's coach,youth pastor, and relatives/family friends than "people who don't belong", lady. But way off topic. Still irritating!

Not that pollution ever left, but there was some significant progress in some areas, within living memory. Also the same people who say that kind of dumb shit would be the first to be pissed if other people just flung their garbage out the car window by their house and other people let their dogs shit all over their yard.

I totally get the irritation over helicopter parents of the current time, I certainly had quite a few other mommies waggle their finger at me for letting my group of 3 older kids roam our property and a neighbor's (with permission) unsupervised (undeveloped land backed into a greenbelt with a shallow creek, kid paradise). And be shocked that I would drive preteens to the mall and then let them be while I sat in the bookstore cafe (I would have gone home but it's a long enough drive to make that irritating and hey, bookstore cafe).

But idealizing that era is stupid. Especially because of the domestic violence, and really gruesome injuries at low speed that are less prevalent.

@Goblin I always like to counter with YEAH bring back the good old days when you could beat your kids and your wife and it was just "private family business!" Bring back the good old days when people were regularly impaled on steering column and babies flew through windshields! Amen to no helmets, bring on the brain damage, yeah baby yeah! And fuck this EPA shit, bring back the orange rivers and dioxin fairy!!!

For my 40th birthday I wanted to try a joint. Nothing. Drank a couple if things and took an edible, nothing. I didnt want to risk going from 0 to sick so I stopped.

I've tried tinctures and drinks since then, but I don't think I've ever felt high. With enough I just doze off. It doesnt even make me hungrier than usual.

Or I dunno maybe that's just what high feels like?

I am not usually annoyed with how people RP being intoxicated. I have no reference since I'm a square, and did not even try a sip of alcohol until my 21st birthday even. All of my irrational annoyance at people's RP when it is not my biz tends to revolve two other subjects, and you know, honestly its just better to let it go, esp if its only just supremely irritating rather than harmful.

Thank goodness. And people today have even less excuse now that you can look at videos and there are web resources. It is just not that fucking hard if you give a shit, and wasnt really back then either.

White people's ignorance/policing of black and brown people's hair is a huge issue. Like a very sore point issue, and understandably so. (And yes, before anyone whatabouts, I'm very aware that within the community there's often policing going on too).

I think this point is lost on a lot of people when they think they're going in for "simple" debate about well these non-black people had dreads/braids tooooooooo.

When I did therapeutic foster care/emergency placement, it was horrifying how many times in all the trainings/updates and even in talking with some people who I did respite care for, you would hear white people bitching about how to care for curly hair properly, or would just...butcher the kids' hair without permission to make it easy for themselves. It makes me sick to think about, really. One foster carer in particular I will never forget when she was mocking/annoyed at a grandma at visitation bursting into tears to see the her granddaughter with a shaved head because they didn't get what was the big deal was, since they didn't know how to care for the child's longer hair and it "looked bad" anyway. This was a metro area foster care agency that had a lot of kids of all races, and even some native American kids. The person leading the training just laughed along, and commiserated with dealing with picky bio families. I hope things have gotten better since then (this was decades ago).

I am getting my eyebrows partially ripped out of my face tomorrow, and can't wait!! Though I am kinda rocking the strong brow look right now.

Tomorrow Eldest gets to be filmed walking across the stage to get his diploma, which will then be spliced together with all the others for the webstreamed graduation ceremony next Tuesday. Though after the broadcast, they're doing a car parade for the new grads through town ending at the high school itself, where they'll get to wave/shout at their teachers one last time as they go through the loop. My senior has been kind of bummed about the cancellation of every senior milestone, but is actually super happy about this one, since we get to decorate the cars for the most part however you want.

I like reading and do always. However I have seldom found that game staff uphold the culture of the world that they've built, and find that making a PC that fits in it and relies on it to any extent has led to a lot of let down 99 percent of the time.

So I mean yes, you can be pissy at "players" not reading but in my experience it's usually staff who show them no matter what they give lip service to that it actually isnt necessary or even supported.

And yep, I do understand why staff may not wish to enforce theme, it isnt fun usually especially in games like CoD that kind of attract in my observation a lot of rules lawyering and lots of shiny powers to collect and PCs are kind of expected to be able to do what they wish with minimal impediment on any game I've played.

But I do think that is partially why people do not invest in reading in depth. They do not have to most of the time and they are unlikely to be playing with people who honor it or have done the same, and they will not get any perks for having done so either especially from staff!

The slim minority of places I've played where their was at least for some time robust theme enforcement was awesome. I just do not envy staff that take that on.

@GreenFlashlight said in Diversity Representation in MU*ing:

Without knowing your characters, I'd guess it's presentation. It's not hard to spot the characters who are meant to fuck. If you don't send out those vibes, you mostly don't get picked for it.

WTF. You do not have to send out Fuck Me Vibes to be subject to people being gross. You do not have to have a conventionally beautiful/handsome PC, you do not have to "invite" it, and people who are "picked" for being gross towards are not secretly inviting it.

Sadly on MU* it seems that there's a lot of people who will jump at the chance to hound a PC to make an exception for them, or allow them to "convert" them.

Once upon a time, one of my favorite PCs ended up getting turned from ghoul to vamp. Her sire was, male-ish, I guess but as far as anything pragmatic he was a giant rotting gross asexual monster. He did not even /have/ a human form, and all of his forms were of...well, rotten/moldy/motheaten things missing an eye and stuff like that. I did not believe his stories about how many people never bothered to READ those descs and instead were insistent on trying to find a cock to ride on. Until--I saw people like totally throwing themselves at him, and also being super hostile towards me because they were sure that I'd found it and was riding on it. Though who knows, as we never had any even remotely sexual or romantic RP maybe he was as good as Gany when it comes to RPing exploding into a bunch of spiders at orgasm or some other thing that I never got to see. So perhaps I should not judge too harshly but...damn.