First you ARE NOT and let me repeat that, ARE NOT useless and worthless. I'm sorry you feel that way though. I wish I had answers for you, but I like to believe there is an opportunity out there. Is there a research position maybe?
I will send you all my good thoughts.
I have vented about my job. It's had chaotic hours. It's been crazy. I've been jumping through flaming hoops only to have them douse me in kerosene and ask me to do it again. I came home last night so angry and disrespected that I was crying.
Then we sat down and discussed my job (we being my family). It was decided that funds are there and I'm going to find a low paying temp job while I apply to better ones. When I get an employment offer, I'm quitting my job. I'm going to half my salary, but money isn't worth the mental stress and the lack of a quality life.
All of this. So much of this. The friends one today. I rationally know this isn't true, but...
I bought a new scale that communicates with my fitbit. Yanked my fitbit out. Researched how to wear it if you can't wear it on your wrist (sanitation issue at work). Restarted my gym membership. Food prepped for the week. Started therapy a few weeks ago (so many tears). Got the recommended books. Started cleaning out my depressed mess of a life (like literally, I have been doing nothing and wallowing in it).
Told my sister, "Hey I'm gonna do this." Got back, "I'm skeptical".
Thought on that a bit. Decided to do it anyways. Still researching my exercise and eating plan. But at least I'm making strides to get back to healthy?
Geez man. I forgot to reply, you didn't have to call me out on the forum about it. Sheesh.
Although, I do forget to message people in my RL, online, on game, in page, in all the things. I'm like oooo look shiny. Then come back and am like wow, I haven't heard from X for awhile. Then notice that it is MY turn to respond. Oh shitcrackers.
This happens a lot.
I would wear that. I just started therapy (not the thread on this so I won't linger on it) and OMG. Hello issues. Ooooo.. I'd wear a shirt that said that too.
@Sunny - I'll just DM you everything my therapist tells me to do and the books she recommends. Sliding in your DM for mental health. Awww yeah, it's (mental) business time.
@SinCerely - you are in the group now too. You are in charge of cooking, though we will all help since no one has hated that chore yet. I have a Food Network problem and a Sugar Rush problem, so I'll be recreating from those things.
Sex is going to be an interesting negotiation, but I'm sure we can all put on our robe and our wizard hats.
Wait are you getting in on our group thing? I don't know if we are ready for 'labels' yet. Laundry (minus putting away), Dishes, Outside work, and some other things are already taken care of.
I'm down for you to join. We should just make a sign up list. It might look like a chore list, but love is work.
@Kestrel
I don't get the joke, but I have already read the Art of War and I would probably read the Sapiens one. I might have a problem with reading all the books. I could do the Court of Rose and Thorns, or something along those lines? Maybe. I have a lot of books. Like a lot of books.
I'm still not talking to the AI after it gave me a dog and then made me a dog murderer #OhNoYouDidNot
When you have spent the last holiday/work week/whatever running around and doing things, while you pray for sleep. Then you have two blissful days off. You've told everyone not to contact you. You move forwards and stretch out to sleep. Realize all the housework/LAUNDRY that you have to do. Come to the realization between dr appointments/chores/people outside of work wanting attention - you have just as much to do on your weekends .....
Fuck.
I should go and read while I eat. That never occurred to me. However, which of the three books that I'm currently reading seems the less scary?
How to Unfuck your life
Healing the Child Within
The 4 Disciplines of Execution (which is a business book not a murder book)
Or like one of my random fiction books on my bookcase that just sit there sad because I'm reading these sorts of books.
I feel like maybe no to the book thing now.
I kept pissing it off by referencing the dog. I was like there's a dog. Pet the dog.
It could be mean
PET THE DOG.
The dog remembers a time before you killed it.
WHAT?! I didn't kill the dog
You killed the dog.
You find yourself out in a hall
Where's my dog
In the room. A man with a dagger approaches
I ask where my dog is.
I think it just got done with me.
I catch myself on EVERYTHING. At work I have to carry a phone on my belt and I have caught it on more things. I'll be walking and then just stop because I got it caught. Belt loops. Shirts. You name it. I'll also trip over imaginary items. Choke on air because breathing must be hard or something. I play where the hell did that bruise come from all the time. I feel for that.
On the teeth. I have dentist fear. No reason for it. Just have it. The idea of being knocked out makes me rather uncomfortable too. So I had to have my wisdom teeth extracted last year. I did it under a local. That only slightly worked. Then they realized my bottom two had a 'wicked curve' that was 'not normal' but decided hey let's pull them out anyways. OMG. I feel for y'all.
So what I hear is we have a thing going with @Auspice, @Macha, @Ominous, and myself. This is working out great. So far I don't have to do laundry or dishes. Or yard work stuff.
#OnlineDatingRocks
Also in reality, I'm pretty content with myself and a circle of friends. I don't feel a driving urge to couple up. Every now and then I do. Like sometimes I'd like to come home and cry on 'my person' but that's about it. And for the life of me, I cannot go to a restaurant on my own. I'm sort of working on that. Sorta.
That's it. I'm done dating now. Facebook dating. All these dating sites.
Who wants to get married? I'll entertain all offers. Think of the tax break for next year.
Okay, I know most the ones listed so far, but what the heck is Hinge?
@Macha
You pull out a piece of paper.
Write down the area of stats. Be honest about your dice pools.
Strength: 2 (1 if I see a person I can convince to lift for me)
Dexterity: 3 (I'm not in my 20s, but sometimes my body lets me pretend I am. More if tequila is involved)
Stamina: 3 (See the tequila problem, but late night RP sessions have taught me how to deal with pain and lack of sleep)
Charm: 2 (It's not charming in middle age as it was at like 10 years old, wtf?)
Command: 4 (Mom look on point)
Composure: 4 (No fucks to give - too tired drop stamina to 2)
Intellect: 4 2 (There's some blocks, I've wait. I take back the 4. I remember previous dating life. Corrected)
Perception: 2 (Glasses raise to a 3 - If one can find glasses)
Wits: 5 (I'm fucking awesome funny and sarcastic)
Okay. Now you can start to list your skills. From there you look for what skills and stats you are lacking. You can go to an online forum. I would not post looking for group unless you are into that. So adventurer sought with dynamic storyteller abilities. Must understand game mechanics. Must obey by custom game rules.
Also you can tell others that you are looking for a partner as well. Careful though. Some of these 'side quests' are just a time sink with no real treasure payout. Grinding for nothing is still nothing. Make the grind count.
Then you compare sheets (of paper or well literal sheets bow chicka). You decide that you can adventure together. You roll your dice at each choice and see if you get the natural 20 or the natural 1. Adventure on
If you end up with a dud, just put them on 'block' (aka ghosting) and move onto the next one.
Does this help? (I mean other than explaining why I'm single)