@Meg I do think there was a sense of disbelief or skepticism expressed by some people that someone could be living in America in 2017 without realizing that cunt is considered a really nasty thing to call someone, which I could see further extrapolated to a point of "you must be offended by this."
Anyways, I'm still going to land squarely in the camp of "someone objected strongly to being called a cunt and the real problem in that conversation was the people who insisted she shouldn't take issue with the word." Not the people who then had to defend their right to be offended by a word that's considered highly aggressive by a lot of the country.
And I totally agree that calling something a "basic point of etiquette" is very far from saying "you have to be offended by this." I think it's another way of saying, "There is a very common cultural reaction to using this word that is strongly negative." I guess I just refuse to take issue with the idea that people should avoid just dropping loaded words like that at the first sign of annoyance. Which is, again, not the same thing as saying "you have to be offended by the word." Some people toss it around in groups that are totally fine with it. I still don't love that, because I think language is complicated and that the words we use do have an affect on how we view the world, but I'm not arguing about it. (Right now. In this thread. >_>) I still don't think it's so terrible to say that there's cultural etiquette of "maybe don't throw that word around in attack on people you barely know because it's considered a pretty nasty word." The fact that this is common etiquette is, in fact, true. Whether that's terrible or not.