@Testament
Me too, man. Pandemic. Trauma. Long-term. You're allowed to not be as OK. I'm glad to hear you recognize it for what it is, and that you have time off coming up.
One of the big things I've been slapped with in the last few days is the reminder that even though all of us are dealing with utter shit in our worlds right now, that does not mean that the people who care about you don't have the space to listen. It's OK to talk to them (or us, here) without feeling guilty. Your brain and the depression will tell you folks don't care / don't want to listen / that other people have it worse and you have no right, but that's not true.
You are NOT more of a pain in the ass than anyone else right now and what pain there might be your friends understand because of what the world looks like right now.
eta: I am literally midst meltdown right now (in a particularly lucid moment) and everybody is still talking to me and I promise you I am like 100 times more of a PITA.