Sep 21, 2016, 2:42 AM
The 100: The Mush
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@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
Making statements that you think recast your own statements, or sound snide is not passive-aggressive. Anything done to your face is by definition not passive.
FINE. JESUS. YOU WIN, OKAY?
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
@Ghost said in The 100: The Mush:
FINE. JESUS. YOU WIN, OKAY?
I expect tribute to arrive in the full of each moon, consisting of cattle, three casks mead, and each end of summer two youths to foster, and fine gifts celebrating our mutual regard.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
Making statements that you think recast your own statements, or sound snide is not passive-aggressive. Anything done to your face is by definition not passive.
If you say so.
(^ Example of being passive aggressive to someone's face.)
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@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
@Ghost said in The 100: The Mush:
FINE. JESUS. YOU WIN, OKAY?
I expect tribute to arrive in the full of each moon, consisting of cattle, three casks mead, and each end of summer two youths to foster, and fine gifts celebrating our mutual regard.
You will get exactly what you deserve.
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Incorrect.
Example of describing a variety of possible actions as passive-aggressive. Perhaps you mean undermining, disregarding, disrespectful, not listening, etc.
It lacks the key element of accepting responsibility to do something, then not doing it as a form of resistance.
It is however fairly overt. People often claim passive aggressive resistance because they describe something with other words, and seem to be reframing the statements. The assumption of an indirect yet malicious and conscious effortlabled "passive-aggressive" derails quite a few conversations here and on games.
It is pretty much the same as saying "I will not be able to hear you anymore, and I blame you for it. Fuck off."
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
Incorrect.
Example of describing a variety of possible actions as passive-aggressive. Perhaps you mean undermining, disregarding, disrespectful, not listening, etc.
It lacks the key element of accepting responsibility to do something, then not doing it as a form of resistance.
Would still be accurate and correct for Conflict Theory tho.
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I'm about to passive-aggressively lure people into my tent for post-parent death BDSM rp...
...because I'm a very sexual person and prefer my rp to involve, naturally, domination and submission elements, especially in Transformers settings.
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
@Ghost said in The 100: The Mush:
I'm about to passive-aggressively lure people into my tent for post-parent death BDSM rp...
...because I'm a very sexual person and prefer my rp to involve, naturally, domination and submission elements, especially in Transformers settings.
Thanks for the water I ended up spitting all over my monitor.
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@Ghost said in The 100: The Mush:
You know what the fifth stage of grief is?!?!?
Uncle ClownSex's Magical Leather Basement
FUCK YOU.
How dare you impugn my basement?
(I laughed so hard I scared the roomkeeper; I'm at a conference in a hotel room, dying.)
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@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention.
@Surreality explained it better then I will. I will just comment that this is the type of non-pology that is my opinion is worse then saying nothing.
If you really want to apology do so with out qualifier. That is an apology, the above is deflection in an apology skin suit. It might play well in the media as we see celebs and corporations do it all the time but no one is fooled. -
@ThatGuyThere said in The 100: The Mush:
@Surreality explained it better then I will. I will just comment that this is the type of non-pology that is my opinion is worse then saying nothing.
If you really want to apology do so with out qualifier. That is an apology, the above is deflection in an apology skin suit. It might play well in the media as we see celebs and corporations do it all the time but no one is fooled.Given the way he acted on the game, I wouldn't hold out hope for anything more genuine. During the last half to third of the game, it was a slapfight between Fiona and his characters for who could be the most unpleasant to have to share OOC space with. At least he wasn't also trying to be an IC peace ambassador while shitting in his own bed.
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@gasket said in The 100: The Mush:
@ThatGuyThere said in The 100: The Mush:
@Surreality explained it better then I will. I will just comment that this is the type of non-pology that is my opinion is worse then saying nothing.
If you really want to apology do so with out qualifier. That is an apology, the above is deflection in an apology skin suit. It might play well in the media as we see celebs and corporations do it all the time but no one is fooled.Given the way he acted on the game, I wouldn't hold out hope for anything more genuine. During the last half to third of the game, it was a slapfight between Fiona and his characters for who could be the most unpleasant to have to share OOC space with. At least he wasn't also trying to be an IC peace ambassador while shitting in his own bed.
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So, saying offense/whatever wasn't the intention now marks an apology as non-sincere? Good to know. No offense intended.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention.
It's the 'I'm apologizing for someone else making an error' that makes it insincere.
If it was, "I'm sorry I said something that caused discomfort, I did not intend to," it would be different -- but there's a very clear blame-shift in the statement above. That's what's problematic: he's not apologizing for what he did, he's apologizing for someone else interpreting it "wrong". That's where the problem lies.
It's a responsibility dodge, and actually very common amongst folks trying to manipulate the perception of a situation in their favor.
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@Misadventure
Trying to explain your intentions can be part of a sincere apology. But if that's all there is to it, it's not an apology. -
@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
So, saying offense/whatever wasn't the intention now marks an apology as non-sincere? Good to know. No offense intended.
No but if you did not intend it, say some thing like "I did not mean to offend you, but I did and I am sorry for offending you."
That is not what the non-pology wa. the non-pology was "I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention." There is no apology for any action the apologizer took but instead for how it was perceived. there is a big difference between "I did not mean to offend you, sorry." and "I am sorry you were offended." -
"I'm sorry your character didn't let my big dom dick erase the pain of her dead parents."
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Given the history with the person, you can be realistically primed to look for insincerity.
The words used though?
Is there no way to indicate that you said what you meant to say, and what that was was understood differently by the given audience, despite prior audiences understanding what was meant?
I think you can say things to avoid casting or accepting blame and still describe a miscommunication.
To give you my personal perspective, I think you should not apologize for something you don't intend to do again. If I have a turn of phrase that encompasses what I mean in a reasonable way, I'm okay with it. I won't necessarily be changing it in general, though I might in a particular circumstance. I might still express regret that it didn't convey the message to someone.
In the end, if someone can't judge my sincerity correctly after I have stated what I can, and they get hung up on a sentence, I can't do anything more for them.
In this case, whomever dealt with it knows best what was likely the actual intent. Apply this to me, and I won't be considering you a reasonable person to discuss anything difficult with.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@Misadventure said in The 100: The Mush:
Given the history with the person, you can be realistically primed to look for insincerity.
The words used though?
Is there no way to indicate that you said what you meant to say, and what that was was understood differently by the given audience, despite prior audiences understanding what was meant?
I think you can say things to avoid casting or accepting blame and still describe a miscommunication.
To give you my personal perspective, I think you should not apologize for something you don't intend to do again. If I have a turn of phrase that encompasses what I mean in a reasonable way, I'm okay with it. I won't necessarily be changing it in general, though I might in a particular circumstance. I might still express regret that it didn't convey the message to someone.
In the end, if someone can't judge my sincerity correctly after I have stated what I can, and they get hung up on a sentence, I can't do anything more for them.
In this case, whomever dealt with it knows best what was likely the actual intent. Apply this to me, and I won't be considering you a reasonable person to discuss anything difficult with.
If you think what you said does not require an apology, then don't apologize, that's fine. But if you actually look at the phrase, that's not what is happening.
@Zyrus said in The 100: The Mush:
I do apologize that was what it was taken as, just saying that wasn't my intention.
Why is Zyrus apologizing for something he didn't even do? The interpretation is not something he can apologize for, his manner of expressing whatever he said, is. But that's not what he was apologizing for.
It's like saying, "I do apologize you fell down," after you trip someone accidentally. Mother fucker, apologize for tripping me, not for my inability to catch myself adequately.
That's why it's insincere. If he hadn't apologized at all and just said, "This was misinterpreted, it wasn't my intention", people might still think he's a dick, but there would be no reason to call him insincere.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.