@Cupcake My entire company is built on the concept of employee engagement and recognition. There's an industry (albeit not a huge one) which revolves around the completely non-childish concern of yours.
Being valued and being paid aren't mutually inclusive.
My company asks if you want public acknowledgement.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
@Misadventure Industry secret: It's not so much (most) management cares whether we're happy or not. It's that a) satisfied employees work harder and b) praise is cheap.
So basically the HR department in many companies substitutes $100 bonus cheques with $2 YOU ARE AWESOME plaques, the managers split $40 and everyone's happy. Everything is awesome!
@ThatGuyThere said in RL Anger:
@surreality
If I get married, which is a pretty big if at this point. I will have the ultimate revenge wedding. All in Latin and as long as I can make it.
I have had to sit through so many this is when I get my payback.
Granted I have yet to be even close ot getting married so that about as likely and my when I become a millionaire ideas.
Two words: Shinto marriage. Old school Shinto.
@WTFE I forget. Is it the Shinto ceremony that, in Japan, uses the white kimono and the red kimono? Or is that a secular cultural element? Because I have always loved that, and am absolutely stealing that general idea.
While I don't recall the order at present, the general idea goes like this: the ceremony has two of those enormous, heavily embroidered, OMFG STUNNING, bridal kimono. One is usually white, the other usually red, but they sometimes appear in other colors. The bride enters the ceremony in one, and after vows are exchanged, she changes to the other, as a sign that she is now part of her own, new family, with her husband.
(Imagine the madness the US bridal industry would do with this notion, folks. Seriously.)
I have a 'transformable dress' notion rather than 'two dresses' but that's because 1. I'm a costumer and 2. I'm permabroke.
(Ironically, I already have two bridal kimono. One is red! It's... just that the other one is magenta, and... no. ALL THE NOPE.)
@ThatGuyThere
Oh man. I hate receptions. I would totally love the chance to just go for the service and then bail. No gift? No boring speeches full of inane, inside jokes? No sitting around making small talk? I'll sign up for that every single day.
In fact, I'm usually the person in my circle who will say, "Listen, I know how weddings are. If you discover you have to choose between me and someone else, I want you to know I totally understand, and there's absolutely no hard feelings if you choose the other person." One bride-to-be teared up at that, once; I guess she felt incredibly stressed making the guest list.
I invited some people to the ceremony and not the reception, but the number of seats in my venue was limited (stupid gubmint fire codes). If people wanted to be hurt by that, I can't help it. If they liked me enough to get an invite to the ceremony, they hopefully know me well enough to know I don't run around trying to exclude people.
Recently, my sister gave birth to a very early and very small preemie. Born a trimester early and weighing only a pound, there was no guarantee that she would survive the first few hours, although she thankfully did. In fact, the baby's doing extremely well, although there's still no guarantee that she'll ever be brought home.
This level of uncertainty is why it's especially infuriating to learn that some people from my parent's church have been resharing my sister's FB updates and using them to promote their prolife agenda.
Don't get me wrong, both my sister and I lean prolife ourselves. But it's a bit shitty to politicize someone else's life while it's hanging in the balance and without even talking to them about it first.
@Lisse24 I hope your nephew/niece pulls through. It sounds like there's quite some fight left in the lil' one's tank.
But yes, fuck people who make an agenda item out of your life.
@Lisse24: Clarification, when you say you and your sister lean pro-life yourselves, do you mean with sole regard to your own bodies, or with regard to what other women are allowed?
Edited to add: I'm not looking to pick a fight in either direction, I just want to understand your personal stance.
@Cupcake On another day, I'd be happy to talk about my own, personal beliefs with you, as muddy and complicated as they are.
That is not a conversation that I have the patience for today, though. Please see above.
@Lisse24: Absolutely fair. I apologize for any undue stress I caused.
@dontpanda said in RL Anger:
@ThatGuyThere
Oh man. I hate receptions. I would totally love the chance to just go for the service and then bail. No gift? No boring speeches full of inane, inside jokes? No sitting around making small talk? I'll sign up for that every single day.
But you miss the free booze and the usually good food.
The more I think about friends weddings the moments I remember are from the receptions not the ceremonies. I can think of maybe tow or three moments from ceremonies and literally dozens of stories from receptions.
Switching to my RL anger, why is it so fricking hard to find marzipan in this town. I don't want it chocolate covered or anything fancy just regular block of marzipan I can make my own candies with. Every since the German restaurant and store in town closed it has been like pulling teeth trying to get a hold off this stuff.
Recently, my sister gave birth to a very early and very small preemie. Born a trimester early and weighing only a pound, there was no guarantee that she would survive the first few hours, although she thankfully did. In fact, the baby's doing extremely well, although there's still no guarantee that she'll ever be brought home.
Much love and prayer to you. My twins were premature, but not that premature. (They spent a month in the NICU.)
I'm pro-life and pro-choice. This confuses a lot of people.
Pro-life.
They sure got the better end of the deal when it came to naming those two stances, didn't they? If you're not pro-life, what are you? Pro-death, apparently. I'm pro-people having the right to do what is best for themselves and their health; mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Those are choices, so I'm pro-choice. If you're not pro-choice, you're pro-people having their personal options ripped out of their hands. Let's call 'pro-life' that instead.
Tinuviel about 9 hours ago
I hate you with the power of a thousand Pandoras.
I think it's really simple - even if you personally would never have an abortion, but you know that it's a choice, and not one you have the right to make for other people? Congrats, you're pro-choice.
Unfortunately I don't believe it's that simple. I know many people that would prefer to preserve choice as much as possible while being uncomfortable enough with certain practices (gender-selection abortion, for one) that they think some restriction on personal choice is reasonable and should be put into place. I think there is a lot of grey area. I have been in the position of considering a late term procedure. I don't think anyone who hadn't been there understands the grey that is there.
While I am willing to swallow my discomfort and prefer that remain a private decision because of my experience and what I observed and went through, there are others who have been there and feel differently.
But yeah, abortion policy is only part of what is connected to "pro-life" in my eyes.
Pro-life.
They sure got the better end of the deal when it came to naming those two stances, didn't they? If you're not pro-life, what are you? Pro-death, apparently. I'm pro-people having the right to do what is best for themselves and their health; mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Those are choices, so I'm pro-choice. If you're not pro-choice, you're pro-people having their personal options ripped out of their hands. Let's call 'pro-life' that instead.
I personally prefer the terms "anti-life" and "anti-choice" because I think both sides are being disingenuous.
@WTFE How so?
I'm guessing that "anti-choice" is clear, so I'll address the other one.
The pro-choice crowd is highly disingenuous on several fronts. One of them was addressed above: the ethical considerations are not as cut-and-dried as they make it out. (Gender selection abortion being a perfect corner case that will cut you if you ignore it.)
In addition, however, they overlook that a lot of abortions are the result of raw desperation. People simple can't afford to have the child, say. There's plenty of studies that show the unhealthy psychological effects having an abortion can sometimes have (not to mention that it isn't a physically neutral procedure either!), but this is glossed over in the rush to label it "a choice" as if it were the same as choosing which candy bar to buy in a corner store.
I suspect for the people who are damaged long-term by the trauma of having an abortion that better options exist if the people so all-fired interested in "choice" were interested in actual choices instead of focusing narrowly on abortion. For instance the large number of middle-class, white, suburban women who are "pro-choice" don't seem to be doing anything to provide, say, a support network for women who want to make the choice to keep the child but for pecuniary (or other) circumstances which intervene. Because, of course, such a support network is a long-term commitment of time, money, and actual human relationships. It's far easier to just scream about abortion rights; it takes a lot less out of you.
Given the realities on the ground, however, I lean more to the anti-life crowd than I do the anti-choice. I support them while holding my nose.
@WTFE I believe you have a few things reversed.
It's largely the "anti-choice" crowd that wishes to defund comprehensive sex education, access to birth control, and opposes increasing "welfare". They also tend to have a dim view of government intervention in things like paid family leave, child care subsidies, ect.
They believe that women who aren't independently wealthy or partnered in church or state sanctioned cis heterosexual partnerships should give their babies up for adoption, especially the white ones. They tend to not wish to fully fund education or services for people and children who are disabled. By and large they fear governmental subsidies or involvement in healthcare (either for relatively healthy people or folks with illnesses that require high degrees of lifelong intervention, acquired or congential).
Most "anti-life" people campaign on the fact that most abortions are desperation cases. It's the anti-choice people who constantly harp on abortion as birth control and who spread disgusting lies about people waltzing into clinics at 8 months pregnant to get an abortion because they "changed their mind".
They scream about the rights of the unborn, and wish to curtail the rights of women (pro-monitorting by the state and management since most women between the ages of 12-50 could be pregnant, and thus need higher security), and cry about children being murdered--while grumbing about having to pay $2 every few months in their taxes so that other people can have food stamps, the $100 in property taxes that goes to fund free education for children, and spreading lies about refugees and 'anchor babies'.
Is there hypocrisy on both sides, yeah. But I think you got a switch reversed there. Most 'anti-life" people, myself included, work constantly to up the amount of support families receive so that every woman has a few legitimate choices in front of her, either in becoming pregnant in the first place, or in what they decide to do after.
I intentify as anti abortion for myself. I almost killed one of my children because I decided I couldn't go through a procedure to ensure that one survived, and thus would have made it so both died had what was expected to happen did. It's something that will haunt me until I die. But I am decidedly pro-life. I support free prenatal care, free birth control, free excellent public schools, increasing our refugee intake, I wish we would lower the bar for food stamps and afdc for people of all ages, fair housing with subsidies to those who need it. Health care for those who need it. I am against state performed executions while we still have huge and proven issues in justice equity and wrongful convictions. I would not fit in with the Operation Rescue crowd.
@Misadventure Industry secret: It's not so much (most) management cares whether we're happy or not. It's that a) satisfied employees work harder and b) praise is cheap.
So basically the HR department in many companies substitutes $100 bonus cheques with $2 YOU ARE AWESOME plaques, the managers split $40 and everyone's happy. Everything is awesome!
