RL Anger

Roz · Jul 13, 2017, 3:55 PM

@Kanye-Qwest said in RL Anger:

That Venus and Mars, though

I'll admit: I had hoped.

What are you talking about? They're totally canon. What version of the show were you watching?

shangexile · Jul 13, 2017, 4:12 PM

@surreality You wrote a heartfelt post, and you deserve a response.

Let's get this out of the way: I am not the person who sent you the literal-stalker pages. My trollish behavior does not extend to actual threats, just juvenile antics. At the height of my negative feelings towards you I never even felt the urge to go so far as that, let alone act on such an urge.

I'm sorry that someone else did feel that way, and I'm sorry for the muddying the waters of your justified response to that abhorrent behavior with my idiotic shitposting, upvoting, etc. I'm also apologetic and pissed-off at myself if I contributed to any kind of mental health breakdown on your part (I believe you said that in another thread). You don't deserve that. Sadly I was in a fucked up mental state where feelings of guilt provoke further trolling.

Not to excuse myself, but just to clarify- I did not deliberately choose the name of someone who abused you in the past, when I paged you out of the blue that time. It was a random name I was going to use for the character. That fact doesn't excuse the conduct of that conversation, but there you have it. It was a very unfortunate coincidence and led to a lot of problems down the line.

You are 100% correct in all your statements. Years, if not decades ago, MU*ing became something corrosive to my mental health. I reached out to you for help, you were busy at the time. Things got worse for me in every conceivable way and instead of being honest in my communication with you, I devolved into further shitty behavior. You don't deserve that.

Anything else I could add is going to be better suited for a private conversation. If you want to make that happen, well, you know my IRL name, it's not hard to find me on social media. I won't reach out to you that way out of respect for your privacy and current state of health.

Thanks for your post. You're a great person, and that is a 100% sincere remark on my part. Feel free to reach out anytime. I won't be a dick to you.

Ganymede · Jul 13, 2017, 4:11 PM

@Roz said in RL Anger:

What are you talking about? They're totally canon. What version of the show were you watching?

The version where they aren't that close?

Roz · Jul 13, 2017, 4:12 PM

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

@Roz said in RL Anger:

What are you talking about? They're totally canon. What version of the show were you watching?

The version where they aren't that close?

Never heard of it.

Ganymede · Jul 13, 2017, 4:27 PM

@Roz said in RL Anger:

Never heard of it.

Admitted, I was young when I got into Sailor Moon, so the innuendo, pairings, and hinting were probably lost on me.

Sparks · Jul 13, 2017, 4:34 PM

@Roz said in RL Anger:

@Misadventure This is my gang:

Your gang is the coolest. Can I be Mercury?

Roz · Jul 13, 2017, 4:35 PM

@Sparks I'm sorry, you are too nice and reasonable and not prone to raging enough.

Caryatid · Jul 13, 2017, 4:36 PM

@Sparks Wait those are Sailor whatevers?

Sparks · Jul 13, 2017, 4:37 PM

@Caryatid said in RL Anger:

@Sparks Wait those are Sailor whatevers?

~~Bishoujo~~ Biker Senshi Sailor Moon

Caryatid · Jul 13, 2017, 4:38 PM

@Sparks I am so not cool enough to be a galactic magic cartoon babe. Must confer with @Meg.

Sparks · Jul 13, 2017, 4:40 PM

@Caryatid said in RL Anger:

@Sparks I am so not cool enough to be a galactic magic cartoon babe. Must confer with @Meg.

We can just go make a runner-up biker gang of other, lesser-known magical girls. Like Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne and Card Captor Sakura.

Caryatid · Jul 13, 2017, 4:41 PM

@Sparks ...I don't know what you just said. To the old farts corner with me!

saosmash · Jul 13, 2017, 4:42 PM

@Caryatid It's okay, I'm not old and I rarely know what @sparks is talking about.

Sparks · Jul 13, 2017, 4:42 PM

@Caryatid said in RL Anger:

@Sparks ...I don't know what you just said. To the old farts corner with me!

You're only like, what, 3 months older than me?!

Roz · Jul 13, 2017, 4:44 PM

@Sparks dug deep for KKJ, that one wasn't even ever licensed in America. (Well, the manga was, but not the anime.) I had a shelf of fansubs for it.

surreality · Jul 13, 2017, 4:56 PM

@shangexile Thank you.

I am really glad that wasn't you. I didn't want to think it was; sometimes it is cool to know that even when things are pretty shitty otherwise, it's worth giving someone the benefit of the doubt on something. And I'm glad the rest was essentially 'unlucky coincidence'.

The folks on the forum here who have been slinging stuff around are not fun to handle, including all of that, no, but y'all are not The Great Downfall. That's not on anybody here. The way someone we both knew on Shang used to put it, and I think it's an excellent way to put it, was 'being pecked to death by sparrows'. That's kinda the scale I think of re: any conflicts going on on the forum here, anyway. So, for what it's worth, please don't put that on yourself. The other people being jerks, well, maybe they'll be sad to know they aren't the big deal, either, maybe they'll be relieved, maybe they won't care, but they on the sparrow list here, too.

The actual shit going down is RL shit, most of it really bad luck that doesn't have someone to point any stabbity finger of blame at. I get accused enough of referencing anything bad going on RL as 'attention whoring for sympathy' and... no. So I rarely mention shit that isn't a trivial bitch about a shitty keyboard or a crappy telemarketer call or something else at this point, unless it's explicitly salient, as above. There is real shit with health, business, finances, family. It has been the kind of year where 'do I take a nap first or not' literally meant the difference between actual life and death, and that was when I could still count the days in 2017 on the fingers of one hand; 'pretty sure you're not going to die' didn't actually come until I could fill up both hands and had to start in on toes. (Several times since, I've regretted not choosing the nap, but I'm still here. As I mentioned elsethread at some point, that I'm still here to get in stupid arguments and make an ass of myself is a bigger and more meaningful victory than any I'd get in an argument here, or that somebody would get over me, particularly since I kinda feel that whole approach is pretty dumb, and perspective is a thing.) Ultimately, I'm not just thrashing around in a flail about meanie heads on the internet not loving me enough or something derpy along those lines. Most of it I don't bring up for the same reason I won't out somebody else's RL shit: privacy counts for something, and it's just not relevant around here (or ideally should not be).

When I knew shit was going sideways I stepped out of games because I was not going to risk blowing up at people on games, period. I don't want to shit on anybody's fun RP times that way and could not guarantee to my own satisfaction that I wouldn't potentially do that. I figured I'd work on a project off in the corner for a while and talk to folks here, and, well... everybody knows how that went, and I realized quickly it was not a time to tackle that project, either. It was, essentially, not time to be asking for input about something I care about if I didn't want things to go horribly wrong, which is pretty clear in hindsight. I still think the ideas are good and if I ever can get my groove back I'll pick it up again. Maybe people will trust me enough to come play, and maybe they won't, and I know that's ultimately on me no matter what anybody else may have said or done; if they don't, maybe the structure and setup will be useful to somebody else when it's done, and that would be pretty damn cool, too.

So, lots of empathy on shit getting worse. I am sorry to hear that because, damn, dude. Nobody deserves that. Even if I'm pissed as hell at somebody, I don't want their actual life to suck. I can say we're in the same boat there in a lot of ways.

Anyway, textwobble is kicking in hard. Going to STFU for a bit with stupid horror movies and knitting.

Be good to you, man. No bullshit. I'mma just say that you are often too hard on yourself and this is where a lot of stuff flows from. It is OK to be good to you. I hope, at least, somebody typing that out loud might help, even if just a little. I still think you deserve to be happy, for whatever it's worth.

Thenomain · Jul 13, 2017, 4:57 PM

@Sparks said in RL Anger:

other, lesser-known magical girls

Just for you. (click da link)

kitteh · Jul 13, 2017, 5:37 PM

WTF is even happening here.

After dropping the discussion in the previous thread, @surreality keeps namedropping me on this one, as if I'm the fucking patron saint of whatever bizarre issue she has an axe to grind with. I didn't even comment the first time, I guess because it still seemed vaguely constructive, though I guess she decided it was more fun to bitch out @kk. But seriously now:

@surreality said in RL Anger:

By that logic, and logic slung around by @kitteh in the previous thread, if I see 'one of them' being harassed or forum stalked, I shouldn't be expected to give half a shit about abuse being done to them or call it out, but I really just don't roll that way -- there's no 'I don't like something you said to me, so I don't give a shit if people sling abuse at you, and I'll cheer them on as they do'. You wanna talk about an ugly mentality? Yeah. Because, wow. And awesome points to @saosmash for not being like that. It is noticed, it is appreciated, and it is hugely respected.

????? What on earth do you think you're saying, you egocentric living drama pile?

How do you take my numerous offers that you could count on my support in those kind of situations (aka, legit harassment) because I think it's such a colossally shitty thing as the drivel you posted above? You basically ignored all of that and swore at me. So, in a language you understand: fuck you, fuck you a hundred times over you miserable turdwaffle (But: in-game harassment against you is still wrong and I still condemn it!)

People upvoting posts pointing out your nonsense are not part of a conspiracy with your harassers. They are people who think you are full of shit. They are people who've noticed that you are obviously psychologically and perhaps physically incapable of dropping an issue, bringing it up over and over again days after others have dropped it, while simultaneously accusing the rest of the world at 'grudgewanking.' You're always talking about your knitting, so maybe stop posting and go fucking knit or something? Or whatever will help. Because you need serious help stepping away.

Also: Is there a way I can turn off her notifications so it will stop pinging me every time she decides to burn me in effigy in a new thread to make some ill-conceived, fact-free claim?

Sparks · Jul 13, 2017, 5:39 PM

@Thenomain Already read that comic. I wish it updated more often.

(It gets extra points for the fact that the snarky half-alien character is named Aeslinn.)

Ghost · Jul 13, 2017, 5:49 PM

@kitteh said in RL Anger:

????? What on earth do you think you're saying, you egocentric living drama pile?

Not slinging mud here, but I'm taking your "she's keeping this going, not me" card away from you.