Jun 20, 2019, 6:29 PM
RL Anger
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- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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Excuse me as I fire up Amazon Prime and hit play. counter protests the only meaningful way, with eyeballs.
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Which really just goes to show that not one of those 20,000 so-called Christians watched even a single episode of Good Omens before determining that its 'promoting satanism' and 'needs to be stopped'. Probably for the children.
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I started a new job this week. We were talking about high school/early boyfriends that ended up coming out as gay later. A woman in my class said "I mean, be gay if you want to but if I found out a man I slept with had slept with men, I'd call the cops! That's attempted murder, they have hiv!" (among some other comments)-- I about lost my fucking mind. I stared at her in complete shock for at least 2 minutes.
I have no idea if I can report that to someone in a supervisory capacity. There are a good number of LGBTQA+ people who work at this company. Most of them are out and proud, and while I'm bisexual and have face bi-erasure before, I think someone saying things like that could really upset others.
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Yes. At my company that is very easily a call to HR.
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Uh. I'd definitely report it to HR. It's not acceptable by any means because a) sexuality discrimination and b) health (disability) discrimination.
She has no place or right to make comments like that in a professional setting.
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@Macha Realistically...?
If you talked to HR they'd probably just log the complaint, tell her to stop, and you'd go on with a slight stigma of a complainer. No need to rush to HR first week on the job.
However, all HR processes also suggest telling the person that what theyre saying isnt work appropriate, and if you don't feel comfortable you can always talk to your boss. Which, right now, I'm assuming is your trainer.
If I were in your shoes and didn't want to risk being that person, I'd just ask the trainer for a quick chat, let her know that X person was making some pretty rude side commentary about homosexuality, and ask the trainer to just keep an eye out for it. Which IS a level of reporting it to HR, but puts it in the arena of where it matters most: mouthy person's immediate workspace.
At that point, it would be in the trainer's hands, you'd keep the rep of someone who would go to their management before blowing the roof off of HR, and any follow-up called out by your trainer would be between the employee, HR, and the trainer.
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In my thirties it seems like it was the time to spend many many hours in chemo rooms and hospital rooms and at friends' houses while they battled breast cancer and lymphoma primarily. I was super lucky and only lost 2 friends.
In my 40s it seems like now I spend a lot of time trying to (very inadequately) support friends whose children have died ODing. 4 times in almost as many months, though I have not really known the adult kiddo in question until this morning.
I first met him when my now-teens were toddler/babies. My twins were 5 months old at the time and I was both desperate to have time where I was not covered in babies but also super freaked out about leaving them anywhere. My friend and her son were working the church nursery that week and I certainly trusted her so I got an hour reprieve. I came back to see this huge beefy football player 17 year old kid rocking in a rocking chair with one of my babies in each arm, talking to them as they gazed adoringly at him, enraptured by this big boy. It melted my heart. He was off to his own life and lots of troubles before I knew him well. Just the struggles his mom shared with me. But I think of that and it's hard to not cry to think of that vulnerable and complicated boy. He was in recovery and doing well and this morning was a surprise but I know that's so hard. Addiction sucks. Cancer sucks. It is hard to breathe. And I dont know how to support friends who have faced losses that I dont even have an inkling of, as I have only dealt with miscarriages, not the loss of a child that one had seen grow and loved and fought with and worried over for so long.
And of course, the big major work audit happens this morning, surprise, while we are understaffed. The cherry on top of a shit sundae day I guess.
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- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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Ugh. And of course there will be replacements soon to fill the void. Gross.
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@Rinel I love the guy's explanation for why there is no male version of his product though. "Uhm, well, there are more pictures of nekkid women on the interwebs!".
Stay classy, guy.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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@Rinel I love the guy's explanation for why there is no male version of his product though. "Uhm, well, there are more pictures of nekkid women on the interwebs!".
Stay classy, guy.
As much as I loathe this entire thing, from a standpoint of pure machine learning that claim is actually not entirely wrong. From the standpoint of training a GAN, you want as many examples as possible of the thing that the Generative part of Generative Adversarial Network is meant to, well, generate, covering as wide a range as possible. And whether or not the images are more numerous, I suspect there is a far wider dataset available for women than men. Which would actually mean this GAN would be more easily trained for women than men.
It's the "We pulled it because we did not realize people might misuse it" that bugs me the most. It's like:
"Heavens," said the man who had written a program to harvest as many images of naked women as possible, in order to teach a GAN to generate images of naked women using a picture of a clothed woman as a starting point, "we had no idea people might use this to make naked images of specific women of whom they had clothed pictures!"
This is the sort of thing where anyone with even a halfway decent grasp of machine learning could basically just download StyleGAN and build this in maybe two weeks; literally, collecting the the dataset to train the two adversaries is going to take more time than writing the code to generate the model will. So now that someone's pointed out, "Hey, this can be done", I fully expect within several months there's going to be at least two new versions of this floating around.
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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@Sparks While I grasp the logic, the other bit that makes my soul itch is...
...it's not replacing with 'naked woman features'. If this is the reasoning, it is apparently taught to replace with 'naked women from porn' features, which are, uh... yeah. While porn is broad and varied, I would not call it a genuine random sample of the population.
I just... the methodology here makes my head hurt on so many levels.
Oh fucking well.
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@surreality said in RL Anger:
@Sparks While I grasp the logic, the other bit that makes my soul itch is...
...it's not replacing with 'naked woman features'. If this is the reasoning, it is apparently taught to replace with 'naked women from porn' features, which are, uh... yeah. While porn is broad and varied, I would not call it a genuine random sample of the population.
I just... the methodology here makes my head hurt on so many levels.
Well I'd imagine the vast majority of naked photos available to it are from porn.
....which might be another reason why there's no male one. Most readily available pics of naked men are prob gay porn and we know how uncomfortable that'd make the sort of guy who made this.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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Most readily available pics of naked men are prob gay porn
Most readily available pics of attractive, naked men... Straight porn men are weird.
He/Him
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I started going to the gym again.
I hate myself.
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@Testament said in RL Anger:
I started going to the gym again.
I hate myself.
I never hate myself. I just kick myself for not working out because getting back to where I was is tough in your 40s.
I've been out for over two months.
- 12 days later
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Out of the blue, a person from my past came up. Not because the person I was talking to knew them personally, but because this person from my past is now a wildly successful author.
That feeling that followed was intense, because it did not just bring back that sullen, resentful acknowledgement that this person did me wrong (They sort of did, but it was by nature of being an egotistical nightmare who happened to fit the exact type of person who could run rampant over my damaged self, so.) is reaping the rewards of being successful on a level that I don't consider realistic. Like, Hugo award winning, NYT best selling, writing for Spider Gwen and XMen level. It's one of those moments where the world feels unbelievably unfair.
But hot on the heels of that sort of resentment and whinging comes the slow realization that it isn't really their success that sticks in my craw the worst. It's the fact that I know I was the worst version of myself around them. That when they broke me, I became someone that acted in ways I find spectacularly shameful. I lashed out. I was cruel, I was deliberately hurtful. And that is what makes me cringe every time I hear their name. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still appalled that someone who is such a jerk managed to become a huge success. That's just karmic bullshit right there.
I dunno. In the wake of this, I just feel... lost, I guess. I don't know how to really reconcile the fact that I know I behaved badly with the fact that I still have anger about how I perceive that I was treated. I mean, I'm not beating myself up over it, but it still makes me feel hollow and kinda sick when I think about the whole thing.
Plus it sucks that I can't read Spider Gwen because I refuse to contribute to their continued success. Stupid, maybe. Well. Definitely.
Times like this I feel like a really shitty person.
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I had an ex cheat on me with someone who looks very similar to me and also was a writer.
(Later found out it was because she didn't want kids, but I did, so he swapped for the model with preferable features I guess.)She's not a wildly successful author, but she did get a publisher in the UK to publish her books and I know she's in a niche. But because we're both in writer/author circles on Twitter, I see her tweets from time to time. Every time I do, even though it's been over a decade, I still feel this wave of (misdirected, I know; it was his fault, not hers) anger.
It's balls when someone who has this big emotional impact on us crops up in ways we cannot help.