RL Anger

[surreality]

@Ganymede I will definitely look into that.

I am still sorta seething that I spent the major part of the day (literally from 8am EST until about an hour ago) fending off shrieking phone calls about 'that's just what you doooooooo'!

If that's just what I did I would be going under general anesthesia, always a risk, would be spending more days in the hospital with zero notice to that effect, and would have had to front $2k+ (which we don't have) in tests this guy wanted in hopes of being reimbursed by the insurance later, all for surgery that no one bothered to mention on an organ I no longer even have.

I mean, the mind just fucking reels.

In true MSB spirit, though, the folks still would not admit, even after this came to light, that they could possibly be wrong about the whole 'you just do whatever they tell you to do!' thing.

...two more weeks, and I can drink. I'm really gonna need it by then, I can tell.

[Misadventure]

Ask #2 to directly eviscerate #1 publicly.

[surreality]

@Misadventure He could totally do it, which makes that all the more eerie.

In all seriousness, #2 deserves all the cookies that ever were and will ever be. There were a number of teams apparently trying to interfere or stick their nose into my case, which didn't seem weird to me but apparently was (probably in some way I don't understand since I'm not a doctor, but oh well) reason to have something like 6 M.D.s and 2 assistants to those M.D.s and 3-4 residents daily coming in to poke and prod at me (which is not counting the daily IV check chick, or the 2-4x daily blood people, or the nurses, the nurses assistants, the nutritionist, the list just goes on and on and on). All of them had some advice or another -- a fair bit of it useless, and more that was utterly counterproductive.

He had zero qualms yelling at people giving useless or potentially harmful advice on my behalf. In all seriousness, we should all be so lucky, in circumstances in which we can't stick up for ourselves for whatever reason, to have somebody on our side willing to fight for us like that. I am extraordinarily grateful to him for it.

[Catsmeow]

@surreality

To be fair, you can't blame your family for screaming at you that they know what's best for you medically. Especially if it has no bearing on them or they have never gone through it.

They learned this from watching politics.

(Obviously I'm making a joke here)

But yes, people do forget that you can deny medical tests and procedures. I always ask why it's needed, what happens if I don't have it, what happens if I do have it, etc. As well as I let them know if they try to force my hand, I'll get as many second opinions as I want until I feel informed.

To be fair though, I speak medical terms and understanding; so unfairly I get a different doctor/hospital treatment.

[Misadventure]

Actually I meant excoriate.

I friend of mine had a surgeon go from her theater, to the one where her previous surgeon was, and excoriate him on his ignorance and laughable professionalism, right there in front of the other staff.

I would accept eviscerate in the literal sense though.

[surreality]

@Catsmeow They do spend more or less all day watching FOX news.

@Misadventure He did build me my own unique special snowflake custom organ. I should probably not hope for any literal evisceration, lest it turn into something in the realms of the Human Centipede, just in this case, anything that would normally come out of #1's mouth would be quite appropriately emerging from his arse.

[WTFE]

@Catsmeow said in RL Anger:

To be fair, you can't blame your family for screaming at you that they know what's best for you medically. Especially if it has no bearing on them or they have never gone through it.

They learned this from watching politics.

(Obviously I'm making a joke here)

In the proud "ha ha only serious" tradition, no less.

[surreality]

...that moment the person you were working on trusting again, since they were the only person you really trusted, proves you simply fucking can't trust them further than you can throw... well, anything over 5lbs at the moment, in the shittiest, most self-esteem crushing manner possible.

I am going back to hating people.

[Auspice]

@surreality

Been there. It sucks balls. But you'll find someone even more awesome, promise.

[surreality]

@Auspice I hope so. I don't think so, though. But I do hope so.

[Thenomain]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

I am going back to hating people.

It's easier.

Also, you don't hate people any more than I do. Life sometimes sucks being an optimist, doesn't it.

[surreality]

@Thenomain Some day, man. Some day, vodka.

I really, really wanted to believe it was getting better, and that what I'd been told was, well, true. But it wasn't, it isn't, and ultimately, I'm the fucking dumbass because it isn't the first lie. There seemed to be genuine regret over the first lie, and... yeah. Optimism... is not my friend right now.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

I really, really wanted to believe it was getting better, and that what I'd been told was, well, true.

Come. Let me show you the Way of the Robot.

We have (alcoholic) pie (substitute).

[surreality]

@Ganymede I can't drink for another week or two. Trust me, I considered it, but while I can live without my gall bladder, I don't want to taunt happy fun liver right now since it's learning to play catchup for the absentee. But damn, I still considered it.

[Thenomain]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

Optimism... is not my friend right now.

Believing that people can accept your sincerity and treat it with any amount of honor is an act of trust. I will put it this way, tho, from one person who repeatedly gets burned to another: If you don't try, you'll never know.

From one person who repeatedly gets burned to another, though: You can test the waters without wearing your heart on your sleeve. There is some fun in being a robot, too, when you've got a good bunch of friends who know better.

The pie's pretty good.

Get better, Surr.

[Auspice]

I had to really dig deep and learn how to trust the right way this year.

I am so very not an optimist. My brain isn't wired for it (and thanks to studies done, I can now say that with absolute sincerity; some of us just can't access that 'happy' as easily as others).

I almost gave up and shut down. I was on the verge of it. One friend kept me from it. Encouraged me. So instead I just... narrowed focus. Instead of trying to reach out and find people... I've let them come to me. Sure, there's only a spare few people I'd trust, period, but I know I can. And beyond them... I've learned 'I can go to PersonA about health, PersonB about school...' and so on. Just gotta compartmentalize sometimes.

[dontpanda]

My 100 year old house is a constant source of frustration. Most of the problems seem like they should be fixable, but I have no earthly idea how to even start. So I don't, and the problems remain, and become increasingly irritating.

[Monogram]

Don't know if this falls into anger or sadness. My older cat I had to take to the vet today because I thought he had cold that had been going on for too long, and I got more concerned by the bit of swelling on his bottom lip and the sleep bleed from his nose. Took him to the vet the next day.

Apparently all of his sneezing, sniffling, nose and whatnot is caused by a teeth disease that I guess is somewhat common in cats.

He's on antibiotics right now, with another appointment to get his teeth xrayed and inspect the swollen bump a little bit more in detail. The cancer was used once, so I find myself worried.

Meh.

[TiredEwok]

Wishing your kitty a speedy recovery.

[Catsmeow]

@surreality

That sucks. I'm sorry. As I tend to be a die-hard optimist, I sometimes don't see the bad coming in the people I associate until it's too late. Then I still rationalize it for them.

Don't give up on all the people. I'm sorry you have to go through it though.