Posts made by Coin

@tragedyjones said in I will design you a MUX:

Serious Inquiries only.

Your mom's a serious inquiry.

@Kanye-Qwest said in RL Anger:

@Coin Why would you even link and encourage website hits oh my god he's a neckbeard Christian MRA.

Awareness is worth it.

I remember Benjamin. UU, right?

Holy shit this dude is just fucking--I have no words. Wow.

EXCERPT:

It’s not just a matter of small bodies versus big bodies. Women are the weaker sex because they’re more timid and emotionally vulnerable and tender-hearted than men. God made them that way.

I’m generalizing here. So did God. It’s in the Bible. You ladies all read your Bibles, right? Here are three different prophets describing the weakness and fearfulness of three different nations, using women as the metaphor [...]

Just, wow.

@Vorpal said in Doctor Strange:

I've always thought that was the consistent take on the Doctor- he takes care of the mystical intrusions… Elder Gods, monstrosities from beyond the edge of reality, that Doomsday Spell that a crazy cult in Kansas is trying to cast. He takes care of the issues that could end reality as we know it and leaves the non-mystical threats to the kids in spandex… unless he has no choice. And that’s the potential hook to integrate him, I think.

Precisely. fucking Thanos wielding the Infinity Gauntlet seems like the sort of thing Doctor Strange would be like, "oh, well, I should probably show up for that one, huh?"

@Arkandel said:

@Coin said:

@Arkandel said:

@Roz I wonder how/if they're gonna tie him to the rest of the Marvel Universe though. It seems a bit late in the process - but if they can do it with a new Spider-man maybe it's doable.

Strange can be incredibly powerful, too.

Where do you see them having difficulties?

Well, up to and including Civil War there's been no mention of Doctor Strange anywhere (that I am aware of) in the cinematic/TV universes.

Bringing him up out of nowhere in the story's mid/late stages could feel forced, depending on just how late it is. Not saying it can't be done, just... they need to get on with it if that's the case.

I'm not sure why this would be a problem.

Canonically, Doctor Strange is the first line of defense against mystic intrusions and dangers from beyond. Not really something that the movies have explored. In fact, since the Asgardians are actually more like aliens than actual gods, even if Stephen Strange had been around (which there's no reason to believe he has--maybe he only became Sorcerer Supreme recently) there's no reason to believe he'd interfere (or be able to interfere) in the events that have transpired.

I mean, you can say the same about most of the people they're introducing in Civil War. Where was Rhodey during Avengers? Where has Spidey been? Why didn't T'Challa show up before? Why did no other Avenger help Tony out during Iron Man 3?

It's comic books. This is almost a trope in itself, so even if it is a noticeable thing, it's justifiable within the supergenre they're operating in.

@Arkandel said:

@Roz I wonder how/if they're gonna tie him to the rest of the Marvel Universe though. It seems a bit late in the process - but if they can do it with a new Spider-man maybe it's doable.

Strange can be incredibly powerful, too.

Where do you see them having difficulties?

@Rook said:

Needing 3 mice on your desk to operate all systems that you use, like, quite regularly. And yes, the constant turning has aggravated me enough that now I link the desktops and just use one keyboard+mouse. But, before then, ANGER. Yes, it was silly. BUT ANGER.

I don't actually know how to link desktops so that I can use just one keyboard and mouse. I wonder, could that also be done to use only one monitor (or the same set of monitors) by running one coputer through the other and then out to the monitor?

fuck, i know very little about modern technology, man.

@Arkandel said:

No, people on Goodreads. Rating novels which haven't been written yet (let alone read) with 5/5 is not how it's supposed to work.

You're destroying the credibility of the entire system with the stupid fanboy idiocy.

I hate that. I don't even really use Goodreads, though. I keep meaning to, but lazy.

@Arkandel said:

@Deviante Just in time for Monday morning!

Now quick, someone do something crazy and/or stupid then post about it.

She was complaining yesterday that she didn't have her gossip, how was she going to survive without her gosssssssip!

@Thenomain

The latter.

The paradoxical beauty of shit like GamerGate is you don't need to even interact with the victims; you just need to read the screeds by the assholes who are a part of it. I didn't read a single tweet, Facebook post, or article by any of the people who were harrassed or threatened or even mentioned by GamerGate advocates. I only read shit they posted or screenshots and other examples of things they said or did...

... and I came away with the impression that they are a bunch of horrifying, terrible people.

Go figure.

lulz, articles by Milo Yannoupolous on Breitbart. Excellent source.

/s

@Misadventure said:

How would one not permit this behavior, yet not white knight for someone? It seems you are saying "leave it to women just be aware". Is that the case?

I find it reasonable that someone who is being harassed can stand up for themselves. I also find it reasonable to make it clear than not just the harrassee finds the behavior distasteful. My behavior doesn't depend on the idea of supporting the underdog, the victim, the helpless, the powerless, it depends on me not wanting to bad behavior enacted.

Or should I stand back, and just be aware?

There's a difference between helping when you see an injustice and walking around looking for injustice to help with. The latter is white knighting. At least, that's my understanding and use of the term.

@Derp said:

@Kanye-Qwest said:

@Arkandel
...huh. I don't think anyone is asking you to personally intervene to rescue women from gropers and harassers.

It's not about you seeing it in action and preventing it, at ALL, but I find it interesting that your mind goes that way. It's indicative of something important, and that thing is : loss of agency.

You want to be told where and when this type of thing happens, because you want to prevent it. That's noble, but misguided. We don't need white knights. We don't need protectors and heroes. To want to be that person is not helping women - it's trying to help yourself regain your lost agency.

What we ACTUALLY need is a deeper understanding of the pervasive social issues that make this shit commonplace. We need the people in power, the members of the group of people perpetrating this shit - in this case, men, specifically (because they have a much harder time accepting that struggles are real) white men - to accept that their permissiveness of this privilege is absolutely contributing to the problem.

I'm sorry if that's uncomfortable for you. It's understandable, but it sucks, because I think your (specifically you) heart is in the right place. You don't need to be told what to look for, you need to be told that your idea of helping is not actually the help we need.

Okay, see, this is something we can talk about, because this might have come across differently than what you intended.

What I read here:

Men doing nothing and being permissive of these situations is what causes the problem.

Men doing something and being active against it, thus not permitting it, is not a solution to the problem.

So basically, that read:

Men are a constant problem. They're wrong, and there's nothing they can do about it, because by doing something or doing nothing, they're still wrong.

See how that could maybe not come off the way you intended it to come off? @Arkandel is trying to figure out what he can do, and that answer came across as a politely worded "you'll always be a problem."

That's not how I read it.

There are two layers (more, really, but we can simplify) to the issue here: the systemic and the active.

The active is "if you see it, do something about it".

The systemic is "this is a problem at the very core of the way our society works, and thus, fixing it takes a much deeper involvement, beyond just helping out when something does down".

The former is going to help the one person you help that one time. The latter will slowly erode the problem until it goes away. It will take years. Decades. Centuries. You will not see the results. That doesn't mean you can't help its beginnings.

@Arkandel said:

@Coin said:

If someone tells you groping is bad, and you see groping, you step up and help the person being groped. That's all it is. Stop trying to find the specific instances that are bad and try to perceive the bigger picture.

That is absurd. I don't need to be told groping is bad. I am saying I don't see it, but since it does happen, I want to figure out how to do something about it.

Of course you don't. I was simply using a common and obvious instance to frame it.

Let me offer a more innocuous, and yet very common example:

If a woman is talking to you and says, "Yeah, it makes me feel pretty uncomfortable when men tell me I should smile more, that I'm prettier when I smile more", then when you see a guy say that to a woman, it's perfectly reasonable for you to look at the guy and say, "She can smile when she feels like it. You're probably not not making her feel like it." Or something to that effect.

I wasn't implying you didn't know groping was wrong--it was just an example, one you used, so I mirrored it.

@Kanye-Qwest

My attitude tends to be "I don't want to have to help, but if I can, I will".

I mean, I don't want these situations to occur; but if they do, I will help.

@Arkandel said:

@Coin said:

To be fair, dude, I learned what to look for by listening to women tell their stories and taking them as truth. So if a woman says "this dude did [thing] and it made me feel super uncomfortable and unsafe", then I will notice that thing and identify it as something potentially (or definitively) harmful.

You don't need a bullet point list of "things that are harrassment". Just listen to the people who were harrassed and spoke up.

So what is the [thing]?

I've been reading this thread and I'm not disputing anything. For instance when people say they've been groped I believe them because, among other reasons, I can't afford not to. But I can't stop such groping unless I can see it happen, so I need to know the how, where, when of it.

I'd like to think being able to step up and tell a guy who physically molests a woman to keep his damn hands to himself will do more than offer a sympathetic ear afterwards. It doesn't mean I won't do both but the former holds more value.

So yes, I do need a bullet point list. I need more information.

No, no you don't. You're answering your own questions.

If someone tells you groping is bad, and you see groping, you step up and help the person being groped. That's all it is. Stop trying to find the specific instances that are bad and try to perceive the bigger picture.

Not to mention that all these testimonials have examples. You're not asking for more information, you're asking for someone to comb through all the information and line it up for you, which frankly strikes me as something profoundly beneath you; you are more than capable of parsing testimonial information without someone making a list for you.

It's like solving a math problem presented in paragraph form instead of formulaic--break it down.

And I am refusing to provide the list for you because parsing it and reading for it comprehensively will help you understand.

@Arkandel said:

@Derp In this case you don't know for example that there

I must concur that it's counter-productive to tell people they are part of the problem while they're actively trying to learn more about that problem, and simply state they haven't personally witnessed it happen to others.

My interest here is to figure out why that is. I completely exclude the possibility that it's all a big exaggerated lie - there are too many testimonials, not everyone is some sort of attention-starved drama queen. So that's done.

The only other possibilities I can see are these:

• harassment/molestation doesn't happen where I usually play. I'm a middle-aged white guy, maybe I just pick safe friendly venues for my gaming. However someone in this thread already mentioned they are doing their research ahead of time trying to assure the same thing, so maybe that's not a big factor.

• it doesn't happen where I am under fear of retribution. Maybe predators like to isolate their targets, which does make sense. But again there have been testimonials here that it does take place out in the open sometimes... still I'd like to keep this possibility open.

• I don't notice it when it happens either thinking it's not a big deal or not wanting the social negative effects of standing up for others. This... is hard to fathom - perhaps it's possible to not pay much attention to some minor forms of flirting to understand it's unwanted but there's no goddamn way someone would make a comment as crude as "if you can bleed you can breed" under any circumstances, any at all, and not make me pissed off. But as for negative effects... what are those? I have no friends who wouldn't back me up on that (probably by design), the police would certainly do as well if it came to it, etc.

This is obviously an emotionally charged issue and a sensitive one to discuss. So help me - maybe others in my shoes - see how we can help. Assume we want to help and that we believe this is a real problem, but we can't do something about it unless we can spot its signs.

The where, how, what to look for, that's what I wanted going into this parts of the thread.

But please don't tell me I'm part of the problem. Because that's part of the problem. I will be the moment I participate or condone this kind of behavior, but not before.

To be fair, dude, I learned what to look for by listening to women tell their stories and taking them as truth. So if a woman says "this dude did [thing] and it made me feel super uncomfortable and unsafe", then I will notice that thing and identify it as something potentially (or definitively) harmful.

You don't need a bullet point list of "things that are harrassment". Just listen to the people who were harrassed and spoke up.

@Derp I'm sorry dude, but you're being pretty dumb right now.

The whole point is that it doesn't matter if your friends are the exception--there is a multitude of people out there who suffer from sexual harrassment and they shouldn't need to prove it to you for you to offer your support and keep an eye out.

If you have never, ever been witness to it (something I doubt, but moving on) then lucky you, but they aren't asking you to stand up and say OH YEAH I TOTALLY SAW THIS. No, they are asking that if you see it, do something about it. They are asking you to not doubt them just because you haven't witnessed it yourself or they don't have evidence; they're just asking for support.

So if you haven't seen it, lucky you. But if you do, act in support of the person being harrassed.

That's it. That's all it takes to be an ally to people who are being harrassed: you see it, you help. Because if you are put in a position where you can actively help, it will also come with the evidence thereof.

Stop worrying so much about whether or not these people are lying and start worrying about whether or not you're too blind to see what they're talking about. One of those things makes you a better person, the other doesn't.