Posts made by Cupcake

BH Cosmetics makes the most amazing astronomy themed eyeshadows and I want them all even if I never actually wear them.

If you feel you're being ignored or only minimally acknowledged in a scene, is there a healthy way to assert yourself to remind others that you're present? If you are consistently unacknowledged, how do you express your concern in a way that doesn't immediately lead others to conclude you're trying to hog the spotlight?

I know for massive scenes it's okay to page someone with an inquiry - the may have missed it in spam. I never assume in such circumstances I'm being ignored if it happens once or twice. But if I'm in a scene with half a dozen people and my poses aren't being acknowledged at all, or possibly consistently by the same people, am I just not giving enough?

Orville, Season 2 Episode 7.

Fuck you, Orville, for making me cry like a baby.

@Insomnia

: ( They were the first concert I ever went to.

I had my first appointment with my new nutritionist yesterday. I walked in terrified, because my previous experience with a nutritionist was with a woman that I am convinced was part of some Cold War Soviet health program. Literally - she was a tiny Russian woman who wanted regimented details about my diet and considered the numbers the be-all, end-all of nutrition coaching. And every single time I scheduled an appointment with her, it wound up being rescheduled.

But the first thing the new nutritionist asked me was what I wanted out of our program. She talked to me about my dog (always a bonus). She suggested instead of writing down every food intake, take photos of my meals. We set up a few initial goals, and not once did she demand a blood sugar reading. She assured me she wasn't there to judge, only to help me be healthy, and I discovered much to my surprise that my goal wasn't about losing weight per se - I mean, sure, weight loss is good, but I am a lot less horrified by my body than I used to be when I would look in the mirror and sob about what a gross monster I was. What I really, really want is energy. I don't want it to be a battle to get up and DO things - MU*ing included. So that's where my nutrition program is headed.

I walked out happier than I walked in, and excited to go grocery shopping with a sense of purpose as opposed to just wandering around the store feeling frustrated.

I know it's not a miracle cure, and nothing will happen quickly, but I feel incredibly hopeful.

A lot of my favorite shows are now going into "final" seasons.

• Crazy Ex Girlfriend
• Jane the Virgin
• Game of Thrones
• The Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt
• Into the Badlands (I'm particularly upset about this one. At least the others had a full run of 4-5 seasons.)

I suspect this may be the final season for The 100, but can't say for sure, yet.

My body is not ready.

@mietze said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

I love my four year old. He was a fucking huge surprise, but he has enriched my life and that of everyone in our immediate family (even his sibs say so) in so many ways.

Medication is someting I do, and it's granted me a vast improvement - 5+ years ago I would not even be broaching this topic, I've now been on medicatin for the last three years or so. About a year and a half ago I lost my preferred insurance and was no longer able to utilize my mental health team, I haven't been able to find a therapist since.

I was thinking about a quote from Cold Comfort Farm recently, "It's my energy, you see. It turns in instead of out.

I think turning it out, for me, will involve trying to feel my way into @Apos' suggestion; how to do so for most I imagine will be obvious, but I will need to take time to figure what is the right thing to be doing.

@Kanye-Qwest I actually get this, in a weird way. When I finally decided to contact my birth father, I fretted that he might feel like I was only looking for him out of some sense of expectation, money, medical, whatever. I think when you reach out in a situation like this, on either side there could be that concern, whether to reassure or to caution.

Thankfully, we did get to know each other a little bit before he passed away.

Sam quite liked him!

If I'm not being particularly responsive, it's because I've been absorbing what people have to say. It's very easy to look at what is helpfully being offered as assistance and consider it as criticism. I feel more confident that this is not the case, but the notion of it is still there and that's what I have to fight..

Our game culture abhors attention-seekers and rightfully so. That kind of play style is selfish. I think for me a problem lays in the notion that in various ways, I am not seen at all. Pushing to be seen isn't an answer, but there has to be a way to let people know you feel invisible because you want to be part of the group, and not because you need it to be All Eyes On You. (I realize the irony of this thread, fwiw.)

I am reconsidering my approach, the challenge will be putting it into practice, and without any kind of guidebook.

@mietze If you popped up as my family, I would flip my shit for joy.

(And you pretty much are family anyway.)

tmw you realize that virtually any mush scenario you spitball has an accompanying music number from either "Galavant" or "Crazy Ex Girlfriend".

@Meg It is absolutely not you or anything related to you. You inclusive and awesome. Take time and feel better!

I am super fucking frustrated with myself; I want to enjoy the roleplaying I'm involved in, and yet can't shake the pervasive notion by and large that I am a tolerated presence rather than being someone others consider an enthusiastic addition people are eager to be involved in. It's happening more and more to me, it feels like.

If this was purely emotional I think I could logic myself into ignoring it, but my brain wants to keep pointing at this or that circumstance which are in and of themselves, likely perfectly reasonable occurrences. But what's whispering in the hindbrain is that this is evidence of others disliking you, of others putting up with you, they don't really want you here.

I keep trying to remind myself that what I feel is real, but it also isn't true. I just really need to stick it until the proof of it not being true outweighs the anxiety.

Advice, gently offered, is welcome. PM preferred.

Edited to add: I am NOT blaming anyone for this, or insinuating that this is anyone's problem but mine regarding my own perception. For clarity.

@ZombieGenesis Joe Manganiello is shopping out an Autumn Twilight script...

Reincarnation thread!

I am having texts jumble together on the messenger. I don't know if it's solved by doing the thing in the post above me suggested by @surreality, or if something else needs to be done.

But if that would solve the problem, a step by step would be a blessing!

Rock and the double suspension gallop!

Have any other folks tried Dia & Co? They're offering to waive the styling fee in addition to free shipping for the first box with cancellation any time.

I want to try it, but I'm always a bit leery of tossing my money into the ether.

Having a manager who I was always pretty sure hated me tell me that she's so glad I'm part of her team and she's really excited to help me develop further in the company.