@egg Before I start, I think @faraday nailed it. Having said that...I will add my 2 cents.
I don't think there's a silver bullet answer to your questions, but here are a few reasons...
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The OOC Factor: There are players who get itchy around players they can't validate. For good or bad reason, there are a number of players who, when confronted with a player and they don't know who they are Oocly, try to figure out who the person is. This could be because it was some guy with a Colin Farrell PB some 10 games ago pissed them off, or because they want to vet that the person isn't one of their stalkers. To put it shortly: For a number of reasons (good or bad, I will abstain), many players like to focus on players they know.
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Part three on Thursday: I know a lot of players who RP these mega-long scenes. At one point when I mushed I was logging in for some 2 hours for maybe 6 total poses that accounted for 1/15th of a scene. A lot of players pair up or set time aside from some very specific RP with people that meet their #1(see above) comfort level.
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Time, Effort, Focus: Again, I'll abstain from my own personal opinions, but a lot of these mushers aren't new to the hobby. Lots of old blood. Lots of old blood with old friends and private cliques who likely feel that risking 4 hours of gaming with an unknown entity could result in 4 hours of wasted time. I know a lot of players who don't usually engage in "random Senate" because they don't want to waste their time with a bad roleplayer (see next entry) or end up getting tagged as a target for some creeper (see #1).
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Judgy: Take a look at the Hog Pit. People be judgy. People complaining about how people role play accents, making fun of people's descriptions, a bucket of Peeves makes for a bucket of tripwires that newer (note: there are far fewer youngblood mushes than there are oldguard) mushers will probably trip and never be informed ICly or Oocly that they've done a wrong. Not everyone is judgy, but some 10,000+ posts about peeves doesn't lie.
Having said that...
There are also a lot of good roleplayers out there who are inclusive. The key is to be friendly, collaborative, and be mindful of personal boundaries. Being a nice person and being approachable will never lead you astray. (Caveat: Don't take this advice if you're in the CIA and are infiltrating the cartel. For your health, be a bastard). There are games out there with many people that I would tag as being very friendly and interested in spreading the love, because I think they ultimately understand that with this hobby expansion needs to be a constant. If you're only RPing with the same 2 people for years, ideas get stale and rehashed. Fresh perspectives are important.
Really, what you're looking for is the right sandlot where nice kids are playing baseball and are always looking for more players. The Average Joe's gym. Not GloboGym.
So, with that imagery in mind there are a few players who have always been kind and fair to me, and most importantly I've always seen them kind and fair with others. If @faraday @Ganymede or @Pondscum recommend a place, then I'd go with their suggestion because I'm 99% sure that if you're generally a delight to be around wherever they suggest might be a good spot to try.
Oh, one more thing. Try to read logs and take interest in what other people are up to/into. A little bit of recon to choose an active faction with content you're excited to be a part of often warms groups to the new kid.