And yes, I am aware that it's not fair for people who do not recognize social cues and who have a tendency towards behaviors that make others uncomfortable do not get allowances for that on many games. If things were fair there would be mitigations perhaps that would give some people allowances for these types of behavior if they are something that they can't control, or perhaps there might be ways that that behavior could be totally muted so it doesn't affect anyone else but they could still play ICly.
There's not a lot of places though that are going to do that, or where it's possible to do that, though some staff and games are more able to do a lot of trellising and handholding than others in that regard.
There's not an easy answer. You could that the strategy of limiting your use of anything that gets you into trouble. (Public channel, OOC communication, ect) Unfortunately that's difficult to do on a lot of places but you could try that. If you can find someone who is willing to help set boundaries and be willing to work with you so that you can double check with them or they have your permission to page you with a "you're going too far/being inappropriate", then that might work, but that also is a tall order. But I think particularly now with the stress levels of everyone so high, there's less of that to go around.
But learning to choose to respect staff or a player telling you "stop with X behavior" can really help. It is easier said than done if it's something you struggle with, but it also isn't something you can force other people to help you with.